I've waited long enough...

[Fudgie]

Angler

 

I like that. It's all hard. That's what I'm really seeing now. This will always be a struggle for me. So I'd rather be healthy at least rather than struggle AND get diabetes too. I don't want that.

 

I found myself watching some documentaries at home and was watching some anecdotes about having diabetes. All the pumps, needles, insulin, feeling sick, oh god. I can't do it. I just can't let that be me.

 

danglets,

 

The drains won't be in for that long, probably between 1-2 weeks at the most. The surgery is done with scopes so I will only have a few small incisions. I won't be opened up. I don't think there will be a need to open me up because I am not THAT big and am not too high risk.

 

Thanks for letting me know. We do take drains out of patients at the hospital sometimes (usually not, as most go home to heal and will come back) and the abdomen ones seem to have some pain which worries me. I guess I just need to distract myself.

 

Sounds like such a dumb thing to worry about, lol. I am not worried about work (I work at that hospital lol), money, etc. And here I am going sitting here and worrying about a drain pump coming out that will take all of 3 seconds.

[tiredofvampires]

Fudgie, I don't know much about bariatric surgery's successes vs. complications/failures.

 

I know you're determined to do this, and so I hope it turns out well for you, that you're one of the successes.

 

I would, however, like to ask you how you're sure that this will prevent diabetes, as that seems your main worry (understandably). I know people who are pre-diabetic and diabetic who are NOT obese, or even overweight. And if you have a genetic, hereditary, or acquired predisposition, the biochemistry imbalance is going to continue, whether or not you lose weight (and have a smaller stomach).

 

So I'm just wondering how this will avert the process, as opposed to just delay the onset of diabetes as you understand this?

 

Is overeating your MAIN problem? Because that is the only thing this surgery will address.

 

Forgive me for casting doubt on this when you're looking for reassurances, but I'm a bit of a skeptic when it comes to a lot of conventional medical approaches, because I find that often, they are treating something in a symptomatic fashion. And I'm wondering about this.

[SometimesShy]

Fudgie,

 

I hope your surgery and recovery go well. You're brave to face your medical issues head-on.

 

Best of luck in the New Year!

 

Cheers!

[Fudgie]

No worries TOV.

 

I do already have insulin resistance and diabetes runs in my family. My best and really ONLY shot at avoiding diabetes entirely is by losing weight and not just a little but a lot of it. That's the only way.

 

Now, I'm not doomed to have diabetes if I were healthy. It only runs in my mom's side. My grandma on that side didn't get it at all and she lived until she was in her 90s. But even if I could delay the onset til my 70s or so, I'd be happy.

 

As it stands right now if I stay this way, I will probably get diabetes before I'm 30. I can't deal with that. Later in life, like 60-70s,well it sucks but I'd much rather get it then and deal with it then than have it now and suffer the consequences.

 

People who get this surgery who already have insulin resistance either see it go away completely or see the symptoms greatly reduced. In fact most people who undergo weight loss surgery have insulin resistance, which makes it bearly impossible to lose weight if it's bad enough.

 

I sometimes overeat. My insulin resistance makes me so hungry, like it's unbearable. I used to fast for spiritual reasons years ago, before all of this and I did fine. Since I've gotten insulin resistance, I get almost unbearably hungry after 4-6 hours and I mean ravenous. It kills me because I wasn't always like this. There is no emotion for me with food, no anxiety, but when I get hungry, my whole body feels like it's affected and I am just STARVING. It's a metabolic issue. I remember what normal hunger feels like and this is not it. My body is in constant fat storage mode too, which is why I won't lose weight at the low calorie levels most people do. The only real way I can deal with this is to have a surgery that will not only enable me to lose a bunch of weight in the beginning (thus helping the insulin resistance) but will force me to stay within strict calorie guidelines for the rest of my life, guidelines that I don't think I could follow on my own without the surgery.

But yeah as I said, this is my only shot at avoiding diabetes. But even if I could just delay it for a long time, it's worth it.

 

What am I losing? Can't drink soda or eat normal portions. I'll have to eat several small meals a day of mostly the stuff I'm already eating. but in much much smaller portions, portions that I couldn't be satisfied with by myself.

[Fudgie]

My attitude on weight loss surgery had always been "Well ill need to do this or I'll have a bad quality of life and/or die" literally do or die

 

I felt this way over 2 years ago but was very emotional about it and sad.

 

Now it's today and I still feel the same but I am not afraid. Just need to get this done soon. I'm 23. I have grad school in my future. I won't be able to accomplish any of my dreams being this size... I know that.

[tiredofvampires]

Okay, so they remove the part of your stomach which signals lack of satiety in the brain?

 

So you feel satiated sooner?

 

I wonder then if your body feels (falsely) that it needs food, but the signaling in your stomach is gone, is there some compensation elsewhere for that? Because your body is only telling your tummy it needs food because the metabolism is screwy.

 

I'm not bashing this because apparently it works for many, I'm just wondering how that works. Usually, if the body can't get what it feels it needs one way, it'll try another route that rips off something else and I'm wondering where the fine print is, there.

 

Also, not drinking soda is something everyone should do, so you're not missing anything there.

 

(By the way, I've experienced the kind of hunger you're talking about, since I've had/have metabolic issues myself.)

[abitbroken]

Is there a way to cure the hormone issue with digestive enzymes/medication/eating tons of fiber or a med that suppresses appetite? I am just wondering if you are insulin resistent now and you have the surgery, will you still start to gain weight back because you are insulin resistant? I am not trying to dissuade you. I am just curious.

[Fudgie]

TOV

 

Yeah the whole rest of the stomach is removed.

 

I would think that there would be a way to reroute. Maybe there is. Studies have been showing that people lack ghrelin for years after surgery. Some but not all of the hunger sensation comes back within a year or so but by then, much of the weight is gone and insulin resistance is already decreased or gone. You'll eat a very small amount and feel satied with very little. That doesn't change.

 

Basically the surgery works by forever decreasing your sense of hunger and intense calorie restriction for the rest of your life. There is a lot of will power involved too but it's easier to control your portions knowing that you could harm yourself if you go over.

 

And yeah, soda sucks. I don't really drink much of it anymore so no loss there.

Except for ginger ale for upset tummy but I like it flat too.

 

abitbroken,

 

My hormone condition will never go away. take meds for insulin resistance but they only help marginally. I also take an appetite suppressant but again, not much success. The meds make me pretty sick too. Those are the only treatments.

 

The surgery, esp in the beginning, will restrict calories so much they I will be able to lose weight quickly and see a dramatic decrease in insulin resistance. This will only facilitate more weight loss and continue to get better.

 

Maybe my IR won't go away completely but it will be reduced a lot, proportional to how much weight I lose.

 

The best treatment for IR is substantial weight loss in overweight people

 

My doctor does not think I can go off my antidepressant which is okay with me but my goal is to get off the IR meds and the appetite suppressants, which is entirely possible. I may even go off my BC pill too and find another form of BC. I'm okay with letting the hormone condition be as long as the weight is gone.

[metrogirl]

My friend that had the gastric bypass had diabetes prior to surgery and no longer has it. She lost over 100 lbs. Most of her meds and vitamins are in liquid form since her stomach is now about the size of a walnut maybe. When we go out to eat, she nibbles on her food like a bird. She's learned what she can and can't tolerate.

 

She's not as much fun at the buffet but I rather have her in my life forever picking at her food than to die from something so horrible as diabetes.

[itsallgrand]

Fudgie, I'm sure you have thought about this long and hard.

 

I wish you the best of luck and a rapid recovery when the time comes. For what it's worth, I think if anyone was a good candidate, it's you.

 

I have known more than one person (acquaintances) who have had this procedure done. Some people don't have their head nor emotions in a place where they can truly take out of this all that is possible. But you, I think, have a great opportunity in using this to its full potential and it truly changes your life for the better for the long haul.

[abitbroken]

abitbroken,

 

My hormone condition will never go away. take meds for insulin resistance but they only help marginally. I also take an appetite suppressant but again, not much success. The meds make me pretty sick too. Those are the only treatments.

 

The surgery, esp in the beginning, will restrict calories so much they I will be able to lose weight quickly and see a dramatic decrease in insulin resistance. This will only facilitate more weight loss and continue to get better.

 

Maybe my IR won't go away completely but it will be reduced a lot, proportional to how much weight I lose.

 

The best treatment for IR is substantial weight loss in overweight people

 

My doctor does not think I can go off my antidepressant which is okay with me but my goal is to get off the IR meds and the appetite suppressants, which is entirely possible. I may even go off my BC pill too and find another form of BC. I'm okay with letting the hormone condition be as long as the weight is gone.

 

So its a vicious circle - the insulin resistance is worse with the weight, but to lose the weight you have to get rid of the insulin resistance and the only way to make it better is to lose weight...but you can't lose weight without reducing insulin resistance.

 

I am wondering if BC also aggravates it as you might be thinking. My sister gained a tiny bit of weight (not lean muscle weight)and gained a cup size when she went on it - even though she ran marathons. Maybe try no BC and use other methods for awhile and see what happens.

 

I agree with others that you are an intelligent and thoughtful person and probably thought this through very thoroughly so I am sure it is the right thing for you. Just wish there was something less invasive but I guess there isn't.

[Fudgie]

Yeah you're right, it's an icky cycle. And that's the quandary...you have IR...so to make it go away, you have to lose weight...but with IR, you can't lose weight...and the more weight you have, the worse the IR is and the HARDER it is to lose. GAH. I've known this for a long time but it still drives me up the wall.

 

I am not sure about my BC. I was put on it mostly for ovarian cysts...I used it for BC later when I began to have sex. I didn't see any weight gain with it though (but it would be hard to tell because at the time I was put on it, I was already gaining weight and had IR long before). I would like to be off of it for other reasons, like blood clot risk (which can be an issue during recovery). Overall, I would like to find a different method that would work.

 

I am not sure if I could an IUD but I would consider that. I would LOVE to get the shot but I can't because all the women in my family tend to get swiss cheese bones (osteoporosis) when they get old. Wonderful.

Well that's a ways off but I'm thinking about that. I would like sterilization (either me or my partner in the future, if he wants it) in the far future but I am going to need a good "in between" method in the mean time. I would even consider Nuvaring possibly.

 

In a way, I wish it weren't so invasive either, abitbroken. I considered the lap band for all of a day but my parents were very against it because of the slippage risks and it just doesn't tend to produce the best results. I see now that I am very much affected not only by my weight by my genetics/hormones so I need something that is going to stick with me forever. I will probably really need it even more as I age and my metabolism worsens naturally.

 

 

 

I was thinking a lot today about body image. What I want to see myself as. I honestly would love to be around 160 lb. I feel that is a good fit for me.

 

But I think I have other things to work on with my body because the LAST time I remember actually feeling good about my body was when I was 9/10. Like, I-look-at-myself-in-the-mirror-and-say-damn-I'm-fine good. I have a few very vivid memories of admiring myself at that age and never doing it again in my life. I was very lean, thin, and athletic through that part of my childhood. At the 9/10 age, I was SO healthy and thus, I felt I looked so good. Nothing came in so to speak...no boobs, no pubic hairs, no womanly hips, etc. It was just me...pure me. I loved it. I remember it so well still.

 

I so struggled growing into my breasts and hips the next year. I remember looking in the mirror and just hating what I saw...hating the boobs, the hips, everything. I didn't want to "grow up" in this way. Shortly afterward, I started to show signs of hormone problems and that's when the weight began to creep on. I'm sure that didn't help.

 

I guess I always associated puberty = getting fat/losing control over my body.

 

I hope that with this surgery and weight loss, I can feel good about my body again, in a new way.

 

I've always felt good enough about myself so that I could have a good sex life with my partner. I'm not one to worry about having oral, having the light off, etc. But I want to feel better in a different way. I think it would be great to look in a mirror again and think "Yes, I am FINE." And genuinely mean it.

 

I've always wanted to wear a modest bikini in public to the lakefront and feel good about it...I don't give a crap about getting "looks" or attention, just about ME feeling good enough to do that and just be free. I just want to feel all of that water over my stomach as I go into the water.

 

Sorry for me rambling. It's a lot to think about still. I have a ways to go emotionally. Still getting things set up on the hospital/doctor end and such.

 

I'm already a slow eater/chewer by nature so now I need to learn to adopt healthy water habits so I stay hydrated. That will come soon.

 

I'm feeling very strongly about this, very eager to press forward.

[lavenderdove]

A couple of suggestions...

 

The people I know who've had bariatric surgery say the surgery itself was no big deal. You're on morphine in the hospital which puts you in a blissful fog, and the pain is manageable with drugs when you get out. if vicodin makes you sick, ask for something else or try a couple kinds before you leave the hospital to see what works for you.

 

and everyone i know who's had a drain hated the sensation enough to be thrilled to have it out again! wanted to pull it out themselves. I remember when i had a tooth abscess and went in for a root canal, the dentist apologized saying she was sorry the novocaine injection would hurt a bit, but i told her, hey, ram it in there... i'm ready for the abscess pain to be over so drill away! A drain is like that, irritating enough that you'll be glad for those 3 seconds to be rid of it.

 

the other thing is that they said the hardest part was their emotional attachment to food, and the inability to each much of it at all, and also that they had to avoid certain types of food they loved because of the physical reaction it gave them. One told me that she used to sit and weep watching people eat, because she missed that ability to eat more than a few bites at a time and many of her favorite fatty foods made her so nauseous she couldn't eat any at all. She just wasn't at all prepared for how much she'd miss eating and certain foods, and it caused her a lot of psychic distress. so you have to break up your mental love affair with food which can be extremely traumatic if it was one of your primary coping mechanisms used to deal with stress and other negative emotions.

 

So i suggest you do a trial run and prepare yourself for it. Read up on how much you can eat, and the kinds of food you can eat with this particular surgery, then for a few weeks beforehand measure your food to that amount, and eat only that and see how you feel. If you can't handle it mentally, then consider getting a therapist to help you deal with your food issues and learn techniques to comfort yourself other than food before you go in for the surgery. And if you REALLY can't handle eating only that much, then don't do the surgery, or don't do it until you feel you can emotionally cope without food or only eating tiny bites of it in one sitting. It is basically enforced starvation, though your hunger will be less than before.

 

I call that the difference between stomach hunger, which the surgery will cure, and mouth hunger (mental) which is really really wanting to eat and taste your favorite foods and enjoy the sensation of eating them and the comfort and pleasure they bring. So you need to cure that mouth hunger which is a mental hurdle as well, and the surgery won't fix that.

 

you need to be really really sure that that ravenousness you feel isn't only due to the size of your stomach, and might be mental, or you will find it stressful and possibly terrifying when you realize your days of eating and really enjoying food in a 'normal' way are over. You can't have solid food for two months after the surgery, and even then only 600-800 calories. You talked about not losing on 1700 calories, but that really isn't a weight loss diet by most people's standard. And you'll only be able to eat half that or less, and eliminate certain types of food entirely. And then when you reach a goal weight, the max you can do is 1000-1200 calories. So it is a radical life change, and you do need to be prepared mentally as well as physically for it.

 

So try it for a while on your own, eating as you will eat when you do get the surgery, and see how you feel about it. if you can't handle it, then reconsider getting the surgery, or get a therapist to help teach you coping mechanism to deal with the loss of food as a comforting/emotional stress reliever.

[Fudgie]

I will come back to this thread and reply more (actually have to run out and do grocery shopping, heh) but here my thoughts on what you are talking about, which is known as head hunger.

 

I used to struggle with it a lot, even a little as 2 years ago. When I wanted to eat one particular thing, I wanted to have it NOW.

 

I have since been working on this with therapy and it got a lot better. I am a slooooow eater. I like to take my time. It makes me feel like I have more food when I eat slow. I also eat slow because my IR makes me feel like crap when I don't. I love how some people like a couple friends have said "But you won't be able to eat normal again!" they don't see me eat. I already don't eat normally. If I rat too much, I throw up. I can't have a big plate of pasta. I don't get to have a big plate of anything really. I can overeat over time with my appetite but I can't do it all at once like at a big dinner. I always have to get a to-go box at dinner. I don't get seconds.

 

My increased appetite from having too much insulin in my blood is sadly very real. I've never used to have it but it got worse over time. It is not a craving either for anything particular. It's just hunger. I could eat vegetables and satisfy it for a short time.

 

Let me say something quick: I've seen sick with a bad cold its clearing up now but for the past 4 days, I haven't been able to smell or taste anything. I can't stand eating now. I hate feeling food in my mouth without taste. It feels gross. I sometimes gag and aspirate on food so I've been drinking protein drinks and feeling okay for the most part. I am most upset about my lack of smell. I am not craving anything or wanting food.

 

My hunger is still killing me. Just killing me. I can't make it stop. I am drinking enough calories and plenty of protein too for a normal person too.

 

At this point, I'm just ignoring it but I hate it. I don't want to eat anything right now and this hunger is actually painful. I am not tempted to eat because I don't want to whatsoever. Just wanting the pain in my belly to be gone.

 

Some kind of intense, drastic measure is looking like the only thing that will stop this before it continues to worsen and I get sicker. If I need to reduce my caloric intake to 800 a day for a few months to see weight loss, then I can't do that alone and if it means taking out most of my stomach and reducing the hormone that makes me hungry, then okay.

 

I will add more later. Need to drive through some snow now and get these groceries bought.

[midnightdeirdre]

Fudgie, good luck with this. So right now you're over 200 lbs? How tall are you?

 

I am 5'3 and currently weigh about 124. I'm trying to get back down to 115-110 through exercise and diet. (When I get to 130 I look chubby.)

[Ayanokōji]

Misread OP, suggestion removed.

[Fudgie]

Fudgie, good luck with this. So right now you're over 200 lbs? How tall are you?

 

I am 5'3 and currently weigh about 124. I'm trying to get back down to 115-110 through exercise and diet. (When I get to 130 I look chubby.)

 

I'm 5'7''. I'm quite a bit more than 200, unfortunately. Like 270. Yikes, right? It sucks.

 

I sometimes forget my body is bulky. I'm always underestimating when I'm working/moving around and I'll get stuck between things. I, however, am NOT to the point that seats/booths don't fit me. Movie theater seats are "tight" but fine. I can still ride roller coasters. Buses are fine. Booths are sometimes a bit tight but I manage.

 

I'm deceptively fat though. It ALL just sits on my stomach and thighs. And breasts. I don't look like most women at this weight because due to my hormonal issues, I've gained weight like a man. The only good things about this is that I have a single gut, not "multiple stomachs" or rolls, and I don't have fat on my face or hands/feet. Yes, I look large but everyone thinks I'm 200. Uh, no. That was passed a LONG time ago, heh. I've even surprised doctors when I get on the scale. I like to say "Guess my weight". It's almost humorous to me at this point.

 

My ideal weight would be around 160. I felt the best at that weight with exercise...but that was years ago. I miss it.

 

image removed

 

I am the apple shape. To a T. See how it's like how a guy gains weight? It's TERRIBLE for you, medically.

[tiredofvampires]

Are you doing regular exercise?

[pippy longstocking]

fudgie this is fabulous .

 

my darling cousin had this done and it changed her life ....

 

take out the physical benefits ..mentally , wow ....well like I say it changed her life and if she was reading she would say to do it now not wait till your nearly 40 like she did .

 

things like ..wearing skinny jeans and knee boots ...the daftest things I take for granted ..going in a shop and buying anything she wanted ..her weight WAS a problem ..

 

she went from about 19 stone to 8 stone (sorry you do lb's) ..its not vanity ..she was big and needed big clothes , boots wouldnt do up on her legs , she didnt feel sexy or attractive ..it was like lugging around an extra person , so that restricted her , her movements her energy ...

 

yeah she went on holiday ..but she was always the one sat in the big baggy shorts and vests ..

 

not about men either ...she is married and a mother and grandmother ..this was about her ..and her life is better .

 

best wishes with this x

[Fudgie]

Are you doing regular exercise?

 

Yes. I have a cheap gym membership that I use to walk on an incline. I was told not to run anymore but I can walk so that's good.

When it's nice out, I'll go outside instead. I just listen to music as I do it.

 

Exercise slows my rate of gain down a bit. Not a lot but there you go.

 

I don't have time to spend anymore than an hour though, a day. Some people say "well go for 2-3". Hey, I work nights full time. No.

 

shooting star,

 

You are right, this is for me and me alone. I do fel sexy sometimes regardless of my weight. I always feel sexy during sex. But yeah, buying clothes sucks.

 

This certainly isn't for men because I have a boyfriend and have had no issues finding men despite my size. I am upfront about my weight. No surprises. I've never had a man call me fat. Guess I am lucky. But that's why I don't really buy the whole "you have to be skinny to find someone". No, you clearly don't.

 

Right now, this is just about health benefits. And feeling better overall.

[tiredofvampires]

I know you've done a lot of the right things, so I think your condition probably involves some complicating factors outside of poor diet and exercise.

 

I was going to PM this to you, just because I think it's inspiring and very progressive. But then I thought others might be interested in the concepts in this video.

 

As I see it, this is the way of thinking about health/medicine/wellness that is lacking in our system.

 

It may or may not have applicability to some of the particulars that need to be addressed for you, but it's all relevant to this topic, and this doctor mentions gastric bypass more than once here.

 

I just think it's food for thought (literally). Worth a watch, imo.

 

 

[tiredofvampires]

Yes. I have a cheap gym membership that I use to walk on an incline. I was told not to run anymore but I can walk so that's good.

When it's nice out, I'll go outside instead. I just listen to music as I do it.

 

Exercise slows my rate of gain down a bit. Not a lot but there you go.

 

I don't have time to spend anymore than an hour though, a day. Some people say "well go for 2-3". Hey, I work nights full time. No.

 

 

I think 1 hour of walking a day is enough. And walking is excellent exercise, as good as running (or better). But you should spend most of it walking VERY briskly. That means about 4 mph, on a flat surface, and optimally, the speed of racewalking, which can be 5-6 mph. You should be breathing very heavily, with an elevated heartrate, for at least a half of that hour. You should also be engaging your upper body, swinging your arms to the sides and overhead, which increases the demand for energy and heart/breathing rate.

[Fudgie]

I know you've done a lot of the right things, so I think your condition probably involves some complicating factors outside of poor diet and exercise.

 

I was going to PM this to you, just because I think it's inspiring and very progressive. But then I thought others might be interested in the concepts in this video.

 

As I see it, this is the way of thinking about health/medicine/wellness that is lacking in our system.

 

It may or may not have applicability to some of the particulars that need to be addressed for you, but it's all relevant to this topic, and this doctor mentions gastric bypass more than once here.

 

I just think it's food for thought (literally). Worth a watch, imo.

 

]

 

Thanks for sharing, TOV. I like that video. Love TedTalks stuff.

 

For me, I think it underscores the importance of having a SUPPORT SYSTEM. That is so very important. I don't think I could lose weight, via surgery or not, without a support system.

 

I've known for a long time that having fat friends can make you more statistically likely to be fat yourself. I don't really have any fat friends. In fact, most of my friends are very active and healthy in their weight and go to the gym. My boyfriend is extremely thin and eats well and in good portion control. I wish this factor could help me lose weight because I find that most "fat" people have fat friends but this doesn't apply to me.

Many "fat" people I've met, mostly women, have this tiring cycle of self-hatred and shame with their weight, that I just find depressing and a bore, so that's probably why I'm not friends with them.

 

That being said, while I have a support system, I have no community. I am not religious (no church), I don't have one at school, I don't have one at work (I don't form relationships with coworkers, just my own policy on that), I don't go to friends for support on this, I don't know any of my neighbours in the converted house I live in or on my street, etc.

 

The only people I have to rely on are N (my live-in boyfriend), my intermediate family (who is behind me 100% too), and my therapist.

 

I think the community approach would work for MOST overweight people because many people are overweight due to poor lifestyle factors. I realize that I have some underlying health issues that need more help than just a healthful community breakfast once a week and being put on a treadmill.

 

I think 1 hour of walking a day is enough. And walking is excellent exercise, as good as running (or better). But you should spend most of it walking VERY briskly. That means about 4 mph, on a flat surface, and optimally, the speed of racewalking, which can be 5-6 mph. You should be breathing very heavily, with an elevated heartrate, for at least a half of that hour. You should also be engaging your upper body, swinging your arms to the sides and overhead, which increases the demand for energy and heart/breathing rate.

 

Yup, I do about 45min - 1 hour. I do it briskly. I use my HR as a measure of how I'm doing. My target HR is 165-170. If I go higher, I feel sick.

 

I don't like to swing my arms but I'll hold onto the machine ahead of me and periodically rthymically "pull" myself up with my arms, like I'm doing resistance training.

 

I would not call myself "in shape" but I am much better than many people my weight. I can walk for hours and hours. N and I went on a roadtrip to a new city and spent hours walking around. Up high hills too. He got tired before I did! LOL.

[Fudgie]

I also wanted to add, about the activity level, that I am very good at my job. I sometimes end up wrestling with violent, demented patients in order to get them back into bed or wherever. I've been attacked a few times. I can lift people up, force them down, hold them down, and render them unable to hurt me or others until they get medication to get them to sleep or security comes and puts them in restraints. These people aren't just frail older folks either. I've had to work in the psych ward and most of the times I've been attacked, it has been there by violent patients.

 

I am not afraid to get physical when it's needed as part of my job. I had one nurse tell me "Looking at you at first, I didn't think you were that physical but you are STRONG so thank you for helping me with this patient".

 

I know I have it in me. I am not some fat, listless couch potato.

[penelope13]

Many "fat" people I've met, mostly women, have this tiring cycle of self-hatred and shame with their weight, that I just find depressing and a bore, so that's probably why I'm not friends with them.

 

I think it's great that you decided to prioritize your health.

 

Since weight is such a sensitive subject to many people, I find it somewhat surprising that you can express your sentiment (see quote) so freely, because if someone of lower weight (however you want to define that) would say something like that they would most likely be called many negative adjectives such as 'prejudicial, judgmental, lacking empathy etc'.