I've waited long enough...

[Fudgie]

I went to my consult. I was there for an hour.

 

I talked to the physician assistant for an hour. Just talked her ear off and had loads of little questions. I had some very specific ones pertaining to the science of the procedure that she couldn't answer but that was okay. I'll just ask the surgeon.

 

I meet insurance requirements with my weight. I do not have to lose weight prior. I have to pass a nutritionist and psych evaluation. I need to get a doctor note supporting this surgery. All of that is easy. Once that is done, I'll meet with the surgeon who will send it all to insurance and schedule my surgery date 3 months from then.

 

I plan to go to a support group so I can find out about life post op.

 

I ran into the lady who runs the support group. I love how she picked me out in the waiting room as being "new" to this. God I'm big. She congratulated me on looking into surgery and asked me what inspired me to do this. I told her flat out "Because I'm tired of being fat." She gave me a weird look. I didn't know what else to say. Being fat sucks . Does my life suck? No I have a good life and I don't hate myself. I just want to be healthy and not have to squeeze into movie theater seats.

 

The PA expressed surprise at my BMI. I'm like 42-43. Lovely. She kept saying that I don't look it. I told her my fat is packed more solid in my middle so I don't have as many wobbly bits. I just found the whole encounter a little funny as well as informative. It was worth the specialist copay.

 

I'm scheduled to see a nutritionist. I booked the psych evaluation. If I go through with this, I'm looking at getting it in the summer time.

 

I was also told I will be given a private hospital room. That's policy. Weight loss surgery patients get private rooms because of sensitivity issues or something.

[LillyLooWho]

Did they operate on her "open"? Because the surgeon who does these where I am does them laproscopically. So not as much opening and incisions.

 

I'm worried about leaks. Apparently statistically, the rates are low for the surgery I'm looking at but still a concern.

 

My consult is soon. I work at a hospital and work with bariatric patients a lot. I see them before and after surgery and it's not always pretty. Some of them throw up and all of them are in pain. I feel like I have a very raw, realistic view of the actual procedure because I actually deal with these patients at work and someday I could be one.

 

They did my cousin's surgery laproscopically. I guess because they have just little incisions, they have to put some air in there so they can see what they're doing on the camera but I'm not a scientist so I'm not sure exactly why.

 

As far as leaks go, they are VERY careful about that. You are in the hospital for a few days afterwards and they watch you. My cousin had her surgery done at a military hospital and they weren't the best doctors but they made sure there were no leaks. I guess they test the area where there could be a leak before they close you up to make sure that it's ok. They stretch it to make sure it won't leak even with pressure on it.

 

Regarding the way it works, it really is that the space is too small to take in too much food. The part about the hormones was something that they figured out after they had been doing it for awhile but that helps too. I researched long-term effects beforehand and even now sometimes just to see if they have learned anything new in the last ten years. All the research indicates that it is safe long term and increases life expectancy of people who would otherwise be morbidly obese with all of the complications that go along with that.

 

I also did the support group before and after the surgery. It was very good. There were people in all stages of before and after. I learned a lot. Some people can't eat various things because it bothers them. I was prepared to give up whatever food and drink I had to in order to feel "normal" in my life; however, I didn't have to give up much. I think the support group is a really good idea for you.

 

I was around 41-42 BMI when I had my surgery and the nurses were surprised by that. I guess some of us are better at hiding our weight than others. I think you will have a good result because you are not too big so losing 100 pounds should be a reasonable goal. I originally lost about 135 pounds but I felt too thin. I gained back some of it, about 30 of it just finding my set point. I'm pretty stable now. I can't tell you what a great thing it is. I'm so happy for you!

[Fudgie]

Lily,

 

Sounds like we are at the same starting point. I am 43 BMI and it sucks! My mom asked me if I was carrying lead in my pockets when I told her my BMI. She didn't believe it. If I could get down to 150-160, I'd be happy!

 

I keep digging through research too. The long term studies interest me the most.

[LillyLooWho]

Lily,

 

Sounds like we are at the same starting point. I am 43 BMI and it sucks! My mom asked me if I was carrying lead in my pockets when I told her my BMI. She didn't believe it. If I could get down to 150-160, I'd be happy!

 

I keep digging through research too. The long term studies interest me the most.

 

After I had it done, I wore my pre-surgery clothes for awhile before I bought anything new. I mean, the clothes were practically hanging off me before I went shopping. I hated shopping so I avoided it until I couldn't any longer. I went to a TJMaxx I think and I tried on a pair of size 14 jeans and they were too big. I was jumping around in the fitting room like a lunatic I was so happy. I ran back to the racks and started thowing all kinds of clothes in my cart. It was just one of the first awesome changes that I experienced. You will experience this too and you will be beside yourself with glee.

 

I can't find anything bad about long term results. Even if I find out there are bad side effects, I think I will still be happy that I did it. I mean, I felt like I didn't really have much of a life when I was so big. I give big props to those who feel ok being heavy (more power to them) but for me, I was totally miserable all the time about it. I just felt horrible and I couldn't stop getting bigger. I figure that if I hadn't had that operation when I did, I would be well over 300 pounds now and probably suicidal.

[Fudgie]

To be honest, on some level, I've accepted being fat. I definitely don't hate myself and I can be a sex kitten when I want to be! When I went for my consult, I was asked about my sex life. I told her I do all positions that are reasonable and not crazy and there's no way I could abstain from sex so I need an IUD or something if BC pills stop, ha. She was sort of surprised, haha.

 

But I want to be thinner, and healthier. I've missed out on physical activities that I used to enjoy. I used to be really athletic actually, in my childhood. The weight came on before I stopped those activities. It just became harder for me and I gave things up one by one. I'm way too young for that. I used to climb mountains, swim long distances, ski a couple times a month, mountain bike. Ah I used to be such a little trespasser into my early teens. I just loved to explore the forest and the country where I lived and didn't care who it belonged too. While I would not trespass now.... Or at least not like I used to, ha..... I want to do those things again.

[Fudgie]

N and I were invited to go tent camping in early summer. I will still be fat then. I used to tent camp a lot from 8-15 years old. I loved it. I used to hike so much too. I climbed the highest mountain in Vermont several times. It was just fun for me.

 

Now I'm fretting. I worry about being able to sleep on the ground. I have to be careful how I sleep now. I'm worried about dumb stuff that I shouldn't worry about. I worry that one of our friends will want to go hiking and my body is currently in no shape to hike like I used to. Walk? Sure. Hike? No.

 

I also managed to get sick recently because I inhaled my own vomit in my sleep. This is a direct result of obesity. No, I wasn't drinking, haven't had a drink in over a week at that time. I It took me a while to recover. My appetite is still not back because I think I am afraid of it happening again. But guess what? It doesn't matter. I still managed to gain a couple pounds.

 

I don't like this body. I don't like what it's doing. I am sick. I'm 23 and almost 300 lb and I'm just so sick of it.

[Fudgie]

I found a picture of me "thinner", not quite at my ideal weight, but still encouraging. Found in my very, very, very old email. I'm actually very glad I didn't delete it. It made me smile and I'm going to keep it.

 

It's the only real "naughty" picture of me that's ever been taken, ever. An ex took it of me years ago, when I was 18, and we just got done fooling around for the first time. I was laying on the bed nude and he said "no, wait, don't move, you look perfect right now" and took the picture. I have a sultry yet almost sardonic look on my face. You can't see my breasts or my much because of the angle and I'm laying on my stomach, with my hands interlaced. My lips look so red in that picture like I was wearing lipstick, but I knew at the time I wasn't.

 

It's basically only my weight that's different now. I was wearing the same hair style/colour and everything.

 

I was heavy back then too, but much closer to goal weight than now. I'm surprised to see how thin I was back then. My hips didn't jut out or anything like they do now, and that's because of fat btw, not "big womanly hips". I had NO cellulite either! At the time when I was 18, I was still able to be active and I actually used to run, so my legs were looking pretty good. I need to get back to looking like how I was, hopefully thinner than that someday.

 

I think most people would be sad to find an old pic of themselves looking better, but it makes me smile. It's good to remember what lies underneath.