OG's Random Ramblings

[redrose85]

^

Having some of that too, yeah.

[OptomisticGirl]

I'm mostly sad right now. I get boughts of anger but it's mostly over whelmig sadness

[Seraphim]

Awww honey I am outraged for you too. It sounds just so shady you don't love someone one day and then marriage is over.

[hers]

Youv'e got a good support system here, B. I'm grateful for your pseudo family for the support they can give you. You do deserve better. You know my thoughts but please know I'll always be here for you too and I love you!

[Fudgie]

OG,

 

My heart breaks for you. My stomach literally fell reading this. Please take care of yourself in the meantime, okay? We are here for you.

[OptomisticGirl]

Thank you all so much. You have no idea what it means to me at a time like this.

 

My pseudo family are comig to pick me and the kids up. I just can't stay here and work with him while I'm trying to fall out of love with him. I get it, I understand people can fall out of love... I just never thought it would be us. He has to do what's best for him (end us) and I have to do what's best for me - leave.

[renaissancewoman101]

Glad to hear that your pseudo family is there for you.

[Fudgie]

My eyes have been welling up for you ever since I read this but you are handling this with grace and tact that very few people could do. I mean it, I am really proud of you. Massive amounts of respect. Sending love your way.

[Seraphim]

Awwww baby so glad they are coming to get you. Huge hugs.

[redrose85]

Sending you much love and the biggest hugs ever!

 

I’m so very sorry. Love you

[sophie274]

Wow. How awful to have the rug pulled out from under you like this. He hadn't said anything prior to this?

 

Given the circumstances, I think you should be able to stay at home and he should leave. He can find a place to go. You can make arrangements to find a place you can afford on your own later, but for now I strongly believe you get squatting rights, unless it hurts too much to be there.

 

Will L continue at your workplace and remain in the US?

[Cheetarah]

Wow, I'm so sorry OG. I am so shocked to hear this. So sorry that you are going through this

[luminousone]

Oh so sorry for your bad news! As I read it, I almost thought that you were surely joking or that I read it wrong.

 

Big hugs to you

 

You will get through this!

 

Lumi

[OptomisticGirl]

Sophie - no, he hadn't. And that's probably what hurts the most. I could deal with if he had bought the issues up, we worked on them, and it still came to this. The fact nothing was ever mentioned... I don't know if I can forgive that.

 

I don't know what his plans are. Prior to me leaving tonight he was staying. However I think me leaving jolted him. This isn't 20 year old OG going through heart break, it's 26 year old OG. This is an experienced ENA member.. I had to get out of there. If it was the first step in healing or causing him to reflect, I had to get out.

[redrose85]

Well, when you need to come back and go back to work, he needs to leave. You don’t just quit on your marriage and hold the home hostage. You worked hard to get that place, you should get it. I’m angry for you. I really wonder if he met someone online or something. This is fishy. Very strange.

[OptomisticGirl]

I won't be going back to work. I've moved in with the pseudo family.

 

Id like to say he hasn't but I don't know him anymore. I'd like to hope not. He says no. Maybe in years to come I'll believe that but I obviously can't trust anything he says right now.

[redrose85]

You’re not going back at all? Ever? You’ve worked so hard to get where you are. Don’t let anyone take that from you...

[OptomisticGirl]

I can't heal working at the same place as him. It will never happen. I have experience now, I can draw on that at least.

 

Jasper is currently rubbing himself all over me. I must not smell like him. Haha

[redrose85]

That a girl. All the kitties belong to you

[renaissancewoman101]

Glad you have your kitties and that your pseudo-family is there for you. Are you still going to continue with your classes, or is that up in the air for now?

[sophie274]

OG, I hope you take this the right way:

 

What are you doing?! You need to get angry. What kind of person says everything is all peaches and cream until one day he walks out?! This is HIGHLY suspicious and there is FOR SURE something else going on (whatever it is). I know I don't need to remind you of the time, money and patience you spent trying to get him here, only for him to decide he doesn't want to be with you less than a year later?! Even though until yesterday he was actively planning a child with you?! There's something seriously wrong here.

 

Do not give up on what you have built for him. You JUST got your receptionist job. We all know it would be terrible to work with an ex, but you're giving up your home and your job for a guy who did not even try for one millisecond to work things out before walking out on you. Unfortunately that his right, but don't let him get everything else too.

 

Reading your posts, it seems like you're in shock and in a fog. Who wouldn't be? But you need to wake up. You should be pissed. Please don't compromise your future for him.

[zentoCC]

OG I'm so sorry. I can't believe he's done this to you. I know your hurting but Sophie's right why should you lose everything that you worked to build and he gets the house you found and the job you got him. He hasn't even got the decency to talk it through with you or try and work things out.

 

I hope your looking after yourself, I'm sure your pseudo family is, male sure you let them help. Don't give up your studies you worked so hard the past few years.

L is so selfish of course things are going to be different since you guys now actually live together, that's no reason not to work on it.

[Fudgie]

I'm glad you moved in with the pseudo family. However, I urge you to reconsider the job front. You've worked so hard to get that job. I know it will be hard to work with him but maybe you could stay there a but longer to get some experience and then apply to another desk job elsewhere?

 

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Have you talked to him since he broke things off? What's going on his head?

 

I don't understand why at all. I'm angry at him. I know people are quick to say "Oh there's someone else" but I don't know. If he had cheating like behaviours, maybe. This is just so left field.

 

OG, I would start an individual bank account. Take your money out and put it in it. Even if you two decide to reconcile in the future, you should protect yourself now just in case.

[Seraphim]

You deserve your job OG. He can't just walk into your life take it over for year ( in the US) and then say by the way screw you I don't want to be with you anymore. Is there anyway you can stop is visa process? Have your family pull their sponsorship? This was your life before he dropped into it I would get fighting mad if I were you.

[Fudgie]

I forgot about the visa. The immigration department isn't going to like him if you call up and say that he ended the marriage on a dime. It screams "fraud". I don't feel that's what is going on but that's what they will think.

 

Take some power back. If he is going to keep the apt because he can afford it, fine. But please don't let him take your job too. You need that money and experience so you can get another desk job so you don't have to clean toilets again. He is acting like he has the power here but quite honestly, you do. You have the ability to call immigration. They may well yank his visa process and tell him to get out.

 

You need answers. If he isn't willing to work with you, quietly call the immigration department and yell them what happened.

 

If he's shipped back the UK, you can heal better because he won't be around at all.