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[Jewels7]

It is one week shy of four months. I still can't get over you and I still love you and I wish I could stop. I'm scared I never will. Even after you treated me badly, even though I now know what kind of person you really are, even though you scare me... I'm having a hard time getting over you. I'm mad at myself because everyone can see that I deserve better... Why is it easy for everyone but me to see? Will I ever let go of my baggage and quit loving you so that someone healthy can come in to my life? I'm scared it won't happen for me.

[Joanne19852010]

Just forgot about me like I was nothing. Blamed me so you wouldn't feel guilty. I think my love is turning into hate. I hope it happens to you. You choose me over her last year. This year you didn't. You should never of made me a choice. I should never of let you. The part that makes me feel sick I spent two and a half years with someone I never even knew. Your ugly on the inside. You won't cheat on her will you because she's prettier. I had so much confidence before you you took it away now I have none. I have no confidence in myself anymore. All the things you said and I let you say to me will always be in my head. I wish with all my heart i hadn't sent that first text. You were beautiful then as you got older and became better looking. Got your job and car, you wanted a better looking girlfriend too. I only have one question why?

[treesandbees]

I'm so embarrassed with myself and how quickly things break my heart and make me cry these days but I decided to go read some of the ecards you sent me during our LD and after breakup friendship and found out the card online company no longer stores cards more than 30 days, so everything sent in last few years in past all wiped some of the cards and words off you were so lovely and romantic, I hate myself for not screen shot-ing, saving them elsewhere, you'll never speak to me with a heart of love like that again. Gone forever, like you.

[invisibleheart]

Am so suffocating... I miss you so much... and I know you never do... its so hopeless and painful to realize how much I lost you... memories of you, us... just just in my head... I wanna be back to where we once was and wanna do it much better much great... then then you would have not left me... why... am so broken. I miss you so much.

[Capttrae]

Screw you, you crazy woman. I may still miss u and prolly will for a long long time, but after last weekend I got nothin for you. Go be w/ your little pretty boy w/ anger issues. When he does what he's going to end up doing and you've got 2 black eyes you'll wish you'd have come back to me when you had a chance. I may not have the 6 pack abs and the pretty face. Or a little go damnit car, I know I look more along the lines of Grizzly Adams, and drive a jacked up pick up truck but I can guarantee I'd never lay a hand on u

[Liraele]

Belated congrats. I'm happy for you. (But still not talking directly to you! Hehe.)

[solace26]

I think I loved you, I think I might love you right now. I can't think clearly because this pain is eating me up. You didn't treat me how I wanted to be treated, you treated me terribly. You didn't want a committed relationship, you wanted a fling, someone to stick around to support you without giving anything in return. I hate this so much. I hate thinking about you with someone else but I can't stop. My insecurities are eating me up alive. I hate this. I just want to get away and never see you again. I want to forget you ever existed in my life.

[Rotxsen]

To think at nights are the only time I miss you, and the mornings i wake up beating myself up, but I do finally get up and get my ass to the gym I realize, you ain't worth a dime. I might shed a tear, but I tear because of the time I wasted with you.

[healingishard]

im missing you today. i wish i could tell you that and actually get a response...

[happyplace]

Its only been about two weeks and I wonder what you're doing. I'm thinking all the horrible things that come with a breakup...other guys, late night parties, happiness without me; even though I know you aren't that type of girl in the least and never have been. I know the decision was mutual but the last time we talked you said you missed me..now I don't know if it was right anymore. The breakup is really hitting me now, and I don't have you to lean on...and it hurts now more than ever

[Capttrae]

I don't understand why u did it. Y didn't you just tell everybody the truth? Y make crap like that up? You know me, you know I'm not a violet person, you know all I'd ever hurt are deer, turkeys, and hogs. Yet you lied again. Y? We had a great time catchin up, it was like old times, now you blame me for everything when all I did was cover my ass. Can't help that your lies came out in the process.

[treesandbees]

I feel sad you of all my exes cannot manage to be a friend, I think since the relationship lasted the longest and went the furthest for each of us and what happened, events in each of our lives during that we stood by love and supported one another.. you'd think out of everyone you'd always be a good friend and care. I greatly misjudged you. It hurts.

[janut1]

Dear G,

 

This week has been extremely hard. I hope to GOD that I don't have another week like I just experienced.

 

I found out you left your job, and wanted to find out if you moved to Utah or where you were working. Unblocking your FB page was a huge mistake. I saw you and her and just fell apart. I couldn't breath and had a major breakdown for a couple days. I saw your arm around her and thought OMG, that should be me, who is this bitc**? I texted my sister right away and she looked up your FB page and she could actually see more then me as Im sure I am blocked somehow from seeing your stream.

 

The biggest surprise is when my sister told me it said you met this other woman in May. We were still together in May. SOOO, my deepest darkest fears all came true. I asked you 100 times if there was someone else because you were acting hot/cold and the online dating thing had me not trusting you. You said NO many times and got upset with my constant questions. I asked you if you still love me, you said YES a lot! Well not so much huh?

 

You lied to me about so many things and I am so shocked that I fell for it! And you were a coward for not at least telling me that you wanted to break up, move on or you found someone else. I just cannot believe all the time we spent together meant nothing to you. You just walk away from me and open the door to her. ?

 

The good thing is I now have closure. I now know that we are done. There is no way in hell that we have a chance of working on this and growing through it.

 

By the way, I am surprised at how she looks. Short, chubby and old. She reminds me of a grandma. But, you are not young either and maybe she is stupid enough to believe all your lies too, just like I did in the beginning. I know how charming you are and how persuasive and persistent you can be. You are wining and dinning her. Taking her to fun places. Laughing, spending all the money you don't really have and pushing hard to have her say she loves you and that you want to be together ALL THE TIME. I wouldn't be surprised if you moved in with her already. Why not? You asked me to marry you at our 2 month anniversary, so she is probably your fiance now. The next thing we will see is you are married.

 

Writing this to you is really getting me clear that I deserve someone so much better. Someone who doesn't lie about things constantly, cheats on every woman he's been with and just has no heart.

 

You are a scumbag, a loser, and a lying cheating bastard.

 

FU

 

J

[Rotxsen]

I can't lie to you, I don't know what I miss about you. Personality wise I am trying my damn hardest to find something to miss but I don't. All I know is that I miss the company of a woman.. Maybe it's you because you are the closest thing that is familiar to me and we did dated for almost 3 years, 3 years of constant bashing, constant narcissistic abuse but even then, I tried my hardest to stay with you.

 

I remember one time I almost broke up with you, and you hold me down, you just literally hold me down till you found that someone that is better. Really, sure he's skinny but we are the same height and honey now, now I am superman no one can change that, I worked hard, every time I hit the gym I am the first one to enter and the last one to leave, sure I am doing this for myself but I know for damn sure you'll see me again, you'll see the new me, the improved me, the man who once gave you his all in order for you to be happy. Now, will be given his all to someone else, make love to someone else, just like you know... I wont be looking for love, because I know love will look for me, will get to me.

 

Because, even when you have left with a guy that is completely opposite of me which is a sign of a rebound, i know for a fact that guy doesn't love you, no one can love someone else after 7 years of a relationship, I know that for a fact because I am here now, Sure I have side chicks, friends with benefits because they know how charming and great catch I am, but they know for sure just like I know I can't love, my heart only pumps blood and willpower to change this body to further improvement, one day I will look at you in the eyes and smile and laugh at the fact i feel in love with a abusive girl like you, because let's be honest you two are snakes, but I don't hold on to grudges, momma taught me better. But one day, I'll shine brightly, so brightly that you can't even contain it. you will want it, but it will be near nigh impossible to.

 

It's odd, In a few days I make almost two months being alone, sure it's only been two weeks of NC since we met and you told me all about your "love at first sight" but let's be honest, you can't even put a picture of you two up, because you know damn better that you care about what others think, and they will say you left the greatest man in the world, cause believe me, I am the greatest, and you know it deep down that you downgraded, you know everyone else thinks the same, specially your friends even your best friends still are in contact with me, that's how amazing I am, even your sister. you think you hurt my self steem? no, you actually helped me, I thank you because now I am free to RISE HIGH, I will BECOME A BEAST, THE BEAST THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN INSIDE MY CHEST AND I WILL FORGET YOU.

[Ghost]

I messed up so much, you don't know that in the very core, the very essence, I just didn't want to see you hurt. What I was told, what I understood, made me concern for you. If I knew the full story maybe I would have been more supportive. But all this hurt went to me, and while I want to accept and embrace your decision, I have hurt way too much.

 

If only things ended differently.

[miss_sunshine]

Ahhh Bubba I have not written to you on here in a while now. It has been four months since you told it is was over after 11.5 years. I feel a lot more zen with it all now but I still find it hard to believe that it is really true. That my best friend and partner of all those years did not love me in the way that I thought he did. That you are really gone and we will never be together again.

 

It is Sunday night and I really miss you on a Sunday night. I wish I had someone to cuddle up to and watch a movie with. I wish the person who used to be my best friend was here. I wish I could talk to the person that I thought you were. See your face, hear your voice. I have not seen you in 3 months and that is truly so strange to me. I still love you and miss you everyday. And there are things I wish I could say sorry for but I know you do not really deserve that from me. You hurt me so much, you lied to me, strung me along and I just can not believe who you really were in the end. I thought you were so wonderful when really you were just a selfish liar who only thought about yourself. I still miss you though so much.

[miss_sunshine]

So relating to this song right now.

 

Oh baby why did you run away?

I was there for you in your darkest times.

I was there for you in your darkest nights.

But I wonder where were you, when I was at my worst down on my knees?

And you said you had my back. So I wonder where were you?

 

I hear your voice in my sleep at night

Hard to resist temptation

'Cause something strange has come over me

And now I can’t get over you

No, I just can’t get over you

 

It brings out my anger. I was there for you every day for 11 years. I went out of my way to make you happy. I was always the one to bend and compromise, to run errands for you, worry about you, look after you. And you just left like I was nothing. Like all those years meant nothing. I hope you know how much you hurt me, I hope you wake up in the middle of the night and know what you did to me. I hope karma comes your way and you get to feel the full pain of what you have done to me. I deserved better than this. You used me up and spat me out when I was no longer of use. You are mean and cruel and heartless and I know you do not deserve my tears.

[germinlim]

One day, soon, you will wake up and realise that you can never attain the kind of happiness that only I can give you. And sure enough, you will search for me but only to realise that everything is too late, you will never be happy again.

 

Come back please?

[Hazyillusions]

I know it's been more than a year, but I can't help but still think about you daily. You meant so much to me and I still can't seem to let that go just yet. I'm alittle scared of falling in love again. Clearly, I can't deal with that sort of intensity...It just paralyses me on such a big level.

 

Hope things are going well for you.

[healingishard]

i saw a pic of you today on a friends fb page. i shouldnt have looked. my heart is hurting again like we ended yesterday. why did i trust you, why did i allow myself to love you, why do i still love you, why dont you love me? why why why. i just wanna forget about you like you never existed. i dont want to dream about you anymore. i've become weak regarding you and i dont understand why. i just wish things were different. i thought i moved on, i guess i haven't. do you think of me? do you ever miss me or feel sad about us? i want to be over you. i want to look at a pic of you and feel nothing. i hope that eventually i am able to find someone that i will love more than you. i just dont get why you have this hold over me. why do i still want to kiss you and hold you and love you after all this time.

[treesandbees]

Is sad, thinking about you a lot, especially this time of year.. bet you aren't thinking as much about me

[just]

Why did you end it like you did? Did I deserve that? I never cheated on you. I never lied to you. I never yelled at you. I never tried to manipulate you. I just wasn't all there, emotionally, for a while. Why was that a dealbreaker worthy of ending the relationship without any preamble?

 

I know I wasn't great, but I deserved a chance to at least talk to you about things. Relationships are work and how can I work on my failings if you never said anything? Why didn't you tell me you didn't feel like I cared about you before telling me it's over? I could have told you how much you mean to me and could have worked on being better in the relationship. It hurts so much that you didn't give me that chance. I wish I would have told you that I loved you. I wish I wasn't worried about it being too soon.

 

Therapy made me focus on why I felt so good in our relationship...it's because you made me feel something I've never felt in my entire life, from anyone, not my family, not friends, not my exes. You made me feel accepted and embraced, without having to be someone I'm not. I can't say how much that means to me. I'm so angry at myself for squandering that, for not realizing how important it was. The pain I feel knowing that I had what I've been searching for, seeking, for my entire life, and I pushed it away, pushed you away, is immeasurable, almost unbearable.

 

Everyone keeps telling me "oh you'll find someone else, there are other fish in the sea, you'll find someone better," but none of them have experienced 34 years of not feeling accepted for who they are, of being made to feel broken, and less than, only to find someone who not only accepts them, but is their perfect match in every way that matters. I will never meet another 6'4" viking/mountain man who loves tall women with some meat on their bones, who loves cuddling as well as being dominant, who wants to take ballroom dancing lessons, who likes to play video games, who is not only culturally aware but embraces other cultures and is proud to walk around with a black woman, who loves to touch and hold hands in public, who enjoys trying all kinds of new things, who is attentive and caring and buys great flowers for no reason at all, who is loyal to those he cares about, and the best friend anyone could ever ask for. There will never be another you and knowing that is destroying me, slowly. I don't want to go on without you.

 

I care so much about you. I cannot forgive myself for making you feel like you weren't cared for. I am so, so, sorry for that. Today the guy I dated before my ex-husband messaged me and we talked some about what I'm going through now. His words to me were "I only knew of the normal self, super sweet, loving, caring, compromising you, so sorry to hear you flipped things around." Reading those words made me break down and cry, because they confirmed the damage my ex-husband did. I wish I'd been cognizant of that before you. I wish I’d worked on myself before meeting you.

 

I would give everything I own, everything I am, to have the chance to be with you again. To be with you while being aware of and working on what is damaged inside of me, to have the chance to make you feel valued, respected, admired, cared for, prioritized, accepted, desired and loved, like you are my king, I would give it all, everything, up for you.

 

 

I love you. Please let me prove that to you.

[happyplace]

Thinking about you a lot today...resisting the urges to contact you...it hasn't even been a week since we last talked but its been the longest I've gone without talking to you in almost 3 years. I wish we could have both agreed to fix what was wrong than both agreed to break it off. How is the easier?

[jaded123]

The past few years have been...interesting. But I can truly say now, and really for no reason except I feel it needs to be said, I will say it: I am happy to not have you in my life. Truly happier without you. Not as happy as I can be in the best of all worlds..because I am still single, but still happier not having you around and having to deal with all your BS.

 

Took a loong time to get here...but there it is. It might still not have been possible but remembering how you humiliated me in front of other people, that and the passage of time I think, made it possible in the end.

 

There is a light at the end of the tunnel...and no regrets. In the end, I showed myself (and you too) who I was when I tried my absolute level best to change and win you back in every way possible. And you showed yourself (and me too) who you were by the way you treated me and the way you left. Goodbye...

[itsallgrand]

Dear ex,

 

I was thinking of you. Which I haven't done in quite the while.

Knowing your wedding day is approaching. And that you really might do it this time. Round three of engagements. This time you might really do it.

Does it matter to me anymore? I have been asking myself this question. Are there things I should be feeling right now?

We were together a long time. Never engaged. And I was fine with that. Still am. Don't regret it.

I was more thinking of the kind of man you are, and why I was with you.

And who I am now, and why I couldn't continue to be with you and why you couldn't continue to be with me.

Over the years, I had wondered if I had been a different kind of woman, could we have made it work?

And I came to the conclusion that yes, probably.

But I am not a different kind of woman, and you are not a different kind of man.

There is nothing that even suggests to me you have changed. You simply have found a woman that is willing to tolerate you cheating. Rather than get better, it seems your problems have gotten worse. Your cheating and self worth have gone off the rocks.

You kept things together for a long time with me, more than I should have expected really.

And I met you at a time when we were not fully defined. I still could believe things could go either way.

Now things are more defined. We are grown adults.

 

I am very happy with where I am at, and with what I have in my life right now. I feel like I grew up. Without you.

Maybe that was the part that hurt the most.

 

I am not upset, nor happy for you, nor wish you any ill will either. Just basically feel...detached now from the consequences of the choices in your life. And that is a very freeing feeling.

 

You are like a cousin who I haven't seen in a really long time. I remember the good times. They were far ago now. And I remember what caused us to part. And those bitter feelings and longing are gone now too.

 

I wish you good health and to be more than alright. Whatever that means for YOU.