Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[miss_sunshine]

I really want to pick up the phone and call you tonight. I want to hear your voice. But I know I want to hear the person I remember you as, not who you are now. I feel so empty and lost and I still struggle with believing that you are really this person who just walked away.

 

How did I not know you could be this cold, that you had this side in you. It scares me that you can never really know someone after 11 years. It really scares me.

 

I think this song covered by Aaron Lewis says exactly how I feel:

 

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

 

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

 

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' it

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still harder, getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

 

I miss you so much. And I so wish I could have my partner back, my best friend that person who I shared all my hopes and dreams with. How did I not see through you to who you really were? Why did you string me along for so long and then just cut me loose when it suited you. How could you be so cruel when you knew how much I loved you.

 

I am a bit angry at you for all the lies, for not being honest, for not having the balls to just speak up and tell me how you were feeling. For just leaving and not even giving me a chance. I gave so much of myself to you, I laid all my cards on the table, I always went above and beyond for you and this is the thanks I get. It is so unfair! And it makes me feel physically sick to think of you moving on with someone new, your friends setting you up with someone and I will just be replaced. All that love, time and energy I gave for so long will just be replaced with someone new and that is so hard to take. I am now insignificant and just a chapter in your life, when to me you are still the whole story..... I love you xxx

[ezra]

Well... today started well. its dark and cloudy outside, but i feel great... i dont know what to say... i miss you i guess. but it doesnt sting anymore like it used to. i can get used to live like this. Day 13 of NC, i feel stronger every day that passes.

[healingishard]

No...stop. you let me go...now get the eff out of my life. dont go up my street, dont go down toms street. you chose this. you chose to make me despise you. you chose to quit. dont you dare try to stay in the depths of my mind. you walked away...my heart, my soul, my passion...i suffered over you J. i felt pain no kind hearted person should feel..i cried over and over and i...well i can go on and on about the way you crushed my heart to peices but im moving on gd it! stay away. stay away. let me heal...let me move on. you didnt choose me. let me go..

[confused1111]

I gave you everything you ever wanted. I always did without for myself to make sure you wanted for nothing. I broke my back 7 days a week to make life comfortable for us to get through the financial rough spot that you KNEW was almost over. Did you appreciate ANYTHING?!

I gave you comfort, security, and reassurance. I bent when we had disagreements, and I kept quiet when I knew there was no solution. Yet you refused to EVER bend. Not even an inch on the issues that you knew truly bothered me. You refused to set your attention craving, selfish, lying, sneaky, self serving mentality aside to put yourself in my shoes just one time and understand WHY!!!!! our arguments started turning into days of awkward silence. Was I wrong for that? YES, but I got to the point that your refusal to show any flexibility just sent me into a hopeless confused slump and I retreated into myself to cope.

You spent 4 years taking. You took everything I had to give including my very heart and soul. But I was happy to give it because I adored you and I still do.

You came out of the blue and dumped me. Only 2 days after talking to me about vacation and dinner plans! How long were you actually thinking about doing this? Why did you string me along like that? Was I just convenient?? Did you EVER love me or was I just a means to an end?! Telling me things just aren't the same anymore, things aren't like the were in the beginning. At least be honest once after all of your sneaking and lying. Just tell me you fell out of love with me so I can have some closure. Stop telling me you love me, stop telling me you'll always have feelings for me. Just STOP in general.

 

It's been 7 days since you dumped me now. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't take you back RIGHT THIS SECOND. I pray everyday for you to call me asking to work things out. I would drop everything and run to you. I would do whatever it took to start fresh and be better. But I'm starting to also have moments when I ask myself WHY?

GOODBYE my angel. I don't know what my future holds but I know you no longer love me and nothing has ever hurt me more than that knowledge. As hard as that is for me to accept I have no choice but to cope with it and let you go.

I do still wish you the best. I will miss you baby.

[miss_sunshine]

Tonight just was not the same without you. My first event as a single person at a table full of couples. I missed having you there so much. I missed having a partner, my best friend, my favourite person. You were so much fun and I missed you.

 

It was hard to tell people that you are gone. To explain what hapenned. And no one understands the pain I am in. They all get to go home with someone who loves them and I am all alone, driving home with tears streaming down my face, driving home to the home that used to be ours.

 

I still can't be used to it, I still miss you so much. I still wish this never hapenned. I still do not understand why you left, why I have to be all alone. Why I was not enough for you. It is just sooooo hard.

[3Tears]

"You're my true love."

 

I can't believe you fooled me with that, you tricked into believing that I was your "everything" that your life would be empty without me... yeah right, you're such a liar. Toyed with me as you pleased and when you got bored you just tossed me, whatever, I swear when your boyfriend cheats on you or leaves you for HIS ex you'll be so sorry.

[nigirl]

Sometimes the pain is too much, and I have to catch my breath to stop myself from reaching for the phone or writing these words via mail or letter...

 

 

Your last mail via FB still haunts me most days, the harshness, the dismissal of a woman you claimed to love ....

I can be a room , out walking, chatting to friends and you come into mind, I wonder where you are, have you actualy met another woman as you told me you would try to do...

I imagine you and her, walking together, chatting, sharing a meal, a drink, visiting new places...

My heart aches at the thought .

 

 

Then .....

I remember how you treated me so cruelly, above all else we were friends,I remember how my support saw you through your bad times, your periods of loneliness , being abandoned by your family....

So the phone gets put down, the paper put away, I log off the internet...

Perhaps one day, you will realise that respect for someone you claimed to love doesn't include hurting them at all costs...

[miss_sunshine]

Arrrrgghh I am really missing you at the moment. I can't believe that we will never be together again and I do not know how I am going to get through the rest of my life without you. It just seems like an eternity of sadness is ahead of me. Sometimes I just want to fall in to a deep sleep and never wake up. It just hurts so much that you do not love me anymore. And I just miss the fun we used to have, the laughter, the silly names we called each other, the conversations we had, your beautiful face, those eyes. My life is forever changed from the sadness I feel. And last night was so hard without you. It was a real kick in the guts for that event to come and go and you were not there. And everyone else had someone except me. My sunshine is gone and he chose to leave. The house is not the same without you. My life feels so empty and sad and I just miss you so much. I wish you never left.

[ezra]

I wish I could just switch my emotions off. When I stand before you, everything I was supposed to say I forget, my thoughts become blurred, my heart beats faster... You provoke that kind of reactions on me. I see happy couples, bragging about how good they are, and then I remember the disaster in which I got into with you. I wonder if you ever loved me? I wonder if you really left me for another girl? I can't understand. It's your loss though... or so my friends say. I reckon it was not working out, but it was your fault... why did you do things that obliged me to lose trust in you? My insecurity came from one thing... my sixth sense telling me that something was off. Around March you were not the same person I used to know. You became cold and distant... Was it because I couldn't get along with your friends? Was it because I don't dress like the girls in your social circle, because I don't like to go to clubs, because I don't drink until throwing up? Are you really that immature? You were only looking for validation. You were looking for a trophy to show your friends. I wasn't perfect, I had my flaws, and I completely don't get along with the likes of your friends. When you realized I wasn't that type of material you left me, because you didn't want to feel ashamed of me in front of your friends. You wanted to feel respected and important, so now you left me for another girl. Oh... how could you hide so many details of your past while we were on a relationship??? It DID matter... because it wasn't a distant past. You are STILL the same person, you still think that way, and I just didn't know the type of trash I was falling in love with.

With what kind of kid was I getting into??? You call yourself a man? Well... grown up men don't think this stupid way. Why did you chase me if you said I was "different and important"? You knew we wouldn't get along. I didn't know that side about you, but I completely opened with you and you knew the kind of girl I was. Not the kind of trash you are used to deal with. You are liar, a cheater, a person who only wanted me for one thing.

 

Why did you do this to me??? I hope you regret this someday. I hope someday you will see me happy, genuinely happy, and suddenly all of what you lost will come to you. Unrealistic expectations when it comes to talking about people like you... I wish my heartache could stop now.

[niceandslow]

You left my life as fast as you came into it. Why does it hurt this much? I swore to myself that I would never let another man let me feel this way. Yet, here I am. You broke my heart. I've tried so hard to not let anybody in. When I finally do, I get my heart broken. I wasn't ready for this pain and misery. I trusted you. How could you tell me you love me then just disappear? People suck. Didn't think you were one of those people.

[bibliophile01]

It's been more than two months now, I think. But I still think of you. And miss you. But I would never contact you again.

[deadmareish]

This is not necessarily what I want to say to my ex. But sometimes what I want to put on my FB for all the world to see.

 

So, I have this recent ex. I think most of you will know him. Yeah, him.

Well here's a story for all of you to hear, and I bet it isn't the same one you heard from him. It'll be different because his was fiction and mine is not.

I'm sure you all have a judgmental opinion now on what a awful human being I am. I cannot disagree I have my flaws, and I take responsibility in my part of the end of our relationship. But before you take to my exes lies and all tut and shake your heads, let me give you a real look into how 2 years with this ex was really like.

To every argument I ever started due to lack of attention was buckets full fowl verbal and mental abuse. Outrageous words you wouldn't even call your worse enemy let alone someone you 'love' - Oh and there was that one time, where you didn't like the fact that you made me cry so hard I was hysterical so in frustration you grab me so hard you manage to bruise my arm. Yet you broke up with me because I sometimes treated you badly?

There is also the issue where I complained you put your friends before me in almost everything you do. Oh, but that's not true? - What about that time your granddad was sick, and I spent all night comforting you and then offered to take you out on my expense to keep your mind off everything, but then the last minute you cancelled because 'you needed to spend time with your family' but then went out with your friends instead. What about that time where I lost my phone so would sit downstairs every night just to talk to you on Facebook, for you to then tell me you were going to the pub, 'lets continue to talk though' but you'd just ignore me for hours. What about that time, you were drunk and you had worked me up so much in argument I was sobbing down the phone to you, oh, but you had to go because your friends were waiting... and you hung up and left me crying. Does that request of asking to be put before your friends once in a while still sound unfair now?

Oh but wait, it gets far worse now people. Let me tell you all the most awful thing I have ever experienced by anyone ever, let alone my 'perfect' 'loving' 'never did anything wrong' ex. When we accidently got pregnant and I decided to keep it, you told me 'that I was just doing it to ruin your life' how 'you won't let me take you down with me' and how you'll 'have nothing to do with the little brat' and then you proceeded to officially dump me. True, you came around, but I firmly believe it's because you know what people would have thought of you for doing such a dreadful thing. Then probably to solom relief it ended in a miscarriage.

While I was in bed curled up in AGONISING pain crying my heart out, what did you do? Cuddle up to me, stay up with me and comfort me, like anything other 'perfect' 'loving' 'I never did anything wrong' boyfriend? Oh wait - you turned over pulled the bed covers over your head and went to sleep. Then moaned the next day how I kept you up.

For all those times he lied to me about taking drugs.

For all those times he lied to me about what he was doing.

For the countless times I wanted to break up with him, and he'd beg me not to, guilt me into sticking around, for the countless chances I gave him. I don't even get one. Well guys. Fair is ducking fair.

So before you do all shake the head and tut, before you all have a good laugh at my expense, maybe you should think:

My ex is not the 'perfect' 'loving' 'I did nothing wrong' part he told you. My ex is not the most courageous guy for sticking it out as long as he did.

My ex is a liar. My ex is a coward. My ex is selfish.

[IAmFCA]

Ack I almost wrote you.

 

Glad I stopped.

 

You would have seen two docs by now, perhaps, and also clarified your thinking as evidenced by your cessation of messages to me.

 

I sense a passive aggressiveness in you, likely to be followed by anger.

 

I am rather surprised at your resistance regarding the tickets, and see now how deeply the passive aggressive behavior would have run within you had we stayed together.

 

I have zero desire to reconcile. ATM I have no desire to be friends. I am ticked off about the tickets, tbh. Esp given that these are shows I requested, my brother will be at one and is coming because I asked him to, and because for at least one of the two shows, you haven't even given the tickets away yet. And the show with my bro is on my bday. I don't get it. Did you really have to go? Its just short sighted thinking on your part, or an act of punishing me, or something. I would have readily given the tickets to you, had the situation been reversed.

 

And the fact that you would give them away, rather than sell them to me. Truly, passive aggressive! I just don't get it.

 

Whatever anger you have toward me now, whatever confusion.... like i dropped the bomb out of the blue, everything was fine, you were so perfect, whatever. How about, you dismissed my early statements about my intentions, you were enjoying what I gave to you without ever describing what you wanted to give to me, how about, yeah, this is your life long pattern and one you may take responsibility for.

 

I hope you are able to fix it.

[3Tears]

I want to get off this damn roller coaster, its been way better than before but I still have these moments where I miss you like crazy, I just MISS you... alot.

[ezra]

I feel very hurt but Im still able to function. Your words play in my head every now and then. My heart beats faster when I think of seeing your face. I miss you... that's all I can say

[deadmareish]

Want to hang out?

 

Why can't you give me my chance?

 

Why won't you let me let you go?

 

 

Why do you never give me a serious straight answer?

 

I love you.

 

No, I hate you.

No, I love you.

 

You ducked up my head, boy.

 

 

[niceandslow]

Good morning something that simple always brightened up my mornings. That's something I will miss the most.

[chloelesliexo]

Plain and simple. I love you.

 

I thought I was special, I believed I was the "one", that none of the others were like me.

 

You're playing with me now.

 

Please stop? Please go back to how you were. I miss you, and your little box room, and our nights at bodeans. All of it. X

[3Tears]

I can't believe I let you have this much power over me, I can't believe I let you in so close to me, why did you get so close just to leave me?!

[Zopeegelela]

Stop with the smear campaign you narcissistic b*&$%! Stop making up lies and ruining my life more than you already have. I can make up lies to do the same to you, but unfortunately, I don't even need to. The things you did to me, you horrible horrible person, are worse than any lies I could make up about you. I regret the day I met you.

[IAmFCA]

sweet exex of the seriously lopsided personality.

 

I love you.

 

You love me.

 

You are destructive, narcissistic, brilliant, adaptable, resourceful, insecure, dramatic, intense, sexy, and nutty as heck. oh, and married.

 

You are mourning me now, because you know i had a date, and you know i liked it, and you know we have some physical connection.

 

Um, you are married? But I understand you well enough to know that is not relevant to you, not inside your heart where you have drawers and boxes of life events in storage. I am in your heart. I am nothing if not perfect to you, now, now that you have your home, your job, your protective distance, your security blanket. You were never confident in your desire to marry her, and you were scared to lose her, and you love her.

 

I wish you peace in it.

[Destroyed 33]

How can this be? We are about 8 weeks out from the day you ripped my heart out. We were together for so long and I loved you more than anyone has ever loved anything right until the last day and far past that point. I dont really know how I feel about you right now as far as love is concerned but I do know that I do not want you anymore. I dont really miss you much now. I dont want you back. I honestly dont. I am developing a new life and although I am working extremely hard on it, it is exhausting and not very fulfilling at all yet. I dont really like it yet but I am baffled at the fact that I truly dont want you in it. I am not happy yet. I am often very lonely and sad still but I have been staying pretty busy and putting myself out into the world as much as I possibly can which helps in a lot of ways. I just cant believe it. Am I blessed? I dont feel confused. Its simple, for the past few weeks or so I have just naturally decided that I dont want you and I definitely dont need you. I guess if I just keep moving and searching for happiness things can only get better. It is going to be a riot when I do land on my feet, get my life back on track and you see how bad you fu**** up. You are screwed.

[ezra]

I will have to see your face again at uni, and it will hit me like a punch in the stomach. I have to be prepared. I dont know what to do... you will probably ignore me (although I plan on ignoring you as well) and that will hurt my ego. I just want to hurt you. I want you to be hurt. I want you to feel even the third part of what I'm feeling. You have no freaking idea of how much you hurt me. I'm angry... these days I've been angry a lot. It is my fuel right now. I have to cling on to it as much long as I can, because once I reach other stages I guess I will be vulnerable again.

 

I wonder if you think of me as much as I think of you. I hate you so much... sometimes I fantasise with getting back with you when you ask for it and then do all kind of crap to you while you fall in love with me again, so you will get hurt over and over. You feel feel how it feels. But I wont do that. Another will do that job for me, the likes you like to have sex with.

 

Sorry for this angry rant.

[ubasti]

Thank you for starting this!!! I want so bad to contact him. I want so bad to rekindle some form of delusional friendship........even though he left me and had an arranged marriage a few months later.

 

His excuse? I'm "needy/clingy". It's true. I am......but it was hard not to keep contacting him and fighting with him when I felt so on. I felt so hopeless. I felt so powerless and desperate to "Fix" what was broken. What was once an AMAZING connection with someone.

 

I don't want to hate myself anymore. I don't want to let his rejection and the things he said to me be a reason for self hatred.

[IDer89]

Why are you doing this to us? We were together for almost three years. I have been there for you every step of the way and left my entire family and way of life behind so that we could be together.

 

You tell me you were there for the journey and I know you were and I appreciate you for it but nothing has changed in your life. You have a huge family that loves you, live in an incredible apartment in one of the most exciting cities on this planet. You've never had to struggle, never had to skip a meal because your bank balance was so low. Everything that you have ever wanted you get.

 

I know you did a lot for me but I did an incredible amount for you too. I was the first person by your bedside on numerous occasions when you were in the hospital. I comforted you and when you asked me if I still wanted to be with you because you always got sick I'd tell you not to be ridiculous and that I love you with all my heart.

 

How can you treat me like this? To cut me off all together. I had to move away, I didn't want to but I tried my hardest to make it work. I am still trying my hardest to make it work for us. I thought you could have given us longer than five weeks to test this out and see how it goes.

 

You say you told me you didn't want to do a long distance relationship but c'mon, we have so much history together for you to just break up with me and cut all ties? Thats so heartless.

 

Has this come from your mum? Ale? Tyler even? I know you, I know that when those people plant seeds you let it grow in your mind. Why didn't you tell me how you were feeling sooner? We could have worked through this together and found a way through this. Or has this been something you've been wanting to do for a long time and just couldn't because I was there, you enjoyed my company? Has me leaving made it all that more easier?

 

But then why have I still been the one you call when something goes wrong, when Eric messes up the logo or your mum questions what you are doing with the business?

 

Finally, why has everything been so sudden? You rarely ever use Facebook yet the day after you break up with me you change your relationship status and take down the photo of us. Cropping me out of the picture you did use is a real kick in the teeth too. That is one of the best pictures of us together, it is so candid and you can see so clearly I'm saying something to try and make you laugh. Yes, you look great in it but to use it as your 'single' picture and crop me out, really?

 

You tell me how busy you are, that you have a lot on your plate and want to just do you for a while. So how come you created a dating profile? You know that site scared me to death because I know how easily you'll be able to find someone. Is that what you wanted all along? Someone Jewish? I thought you didn't want to be like everyone else on the UES? But to the point how can you even be thinking about getting out there so quickly? You only broke up with me on Monday and you signed up on Wednesday. We were together for so long and spent nearly everyday together. How have you gotten over me so quickly?

 

I really just don't know where the person I spent almost three years of my life has gone. I don't know who this person you've become this week is. Maybe you think you're being strong, forging ahead but I know the real you. The one that craves comfort and attention. The girl that loved nothing more than to have me cuddle her. Where is she? Am I going to ever see her again? Once things calm down will she make an appearance? Will she try and contact me again when she needs support? I just cannot believe after everything we have been through that you're cutting me out of your life like this.