Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[ezra]

You are immature and childish, but I cannot stop talking to you. I hate your friends and everything about your surroundings. You are the worst ng thing that´s ever happened to me, and you are the best thing as well.

[Robin2904]

I haven't been in this thread in so So long....I just need to vent and really have no other source to do so. Where do I begin. It's been almost a year since I last saw you which is so crazy to say...jumping ahead to this week. I just have so many feelings right now and don't even know how to put them into words. My life is a mess in some ways but its FINALLY starting to come together. My career is finally going somewhere and I don't want this crap and my mind being on you to screw that up! I'm starting work tomorrow for NBC. Its so surreal and I'm SO SO excited.

 

Talking to you the other ways was different. But I'm glad I didn't trust in it because looks like I was right not to. First of all, so many feelings on you telling me about your previous sexual experiences, I don't even have time to get into this now nor do I want to. But that actually really hurt. Like WHY would you think that telling your ex that was cool? I'm questioning so much. SO much. But at the same time you tell me you still miss me, love me, want me back in your life. I just...what? I was a lot calmer and less phased by it as I usually would be. I do still love you, but I almost felt like saying those things to you saying I loved you too and wanted you back in my life was a big...un genuine? I don't know. Like it didn't feel real to me. This is all so odd. But I said I'll go with it, and told you not to do a 180 on me. But knew you would. And yea feel you will. Its just so messed up.... jfjfdgjjoekfrwjowjwejqjokdkdibvfogor

[dasnico]

Hi.

 

It's been two weeks since we last spoke. I think about you every day. I still say goodnight to you before I go to sleep. I miss you and I love you. Every now and then I still cry over you. I'm sorry for all of this.

[GodsChosen]

I still cant understand how you could treat me so cruelly. I loved you so much. I always supported you even when my support was all you had. It still doesn't make sense to me how you could just leave me so easily yet say you loved me so much. To play with my feelings and my heart like that. Its something that I never would have done. I am happy that you finally have your daughter in your life. that's all I wanted because I knew that's where your heart is. How could I love you and not want to see you happy? To leave me, blame me, and then ignore me is something I just don't understand. I wish you would have left me alone knowing that you couldn't be the man I needed. Then for you to not tell me anything and hide so many secrets from me.....I dont understand any of it. But I do understand and know that I deserved better.

[RougeQueen]

I've been in a deep depression for over a month now. I don't think this is wholly due to you, though. A contributing factor, yes, but not the cause. It just feels like my confidence is gone and that I'm completely worthless. That I'm not good enough for anything. Nothing matters. The things I used to enjoy doing mean nothing. Trying to summon up the energy to hang out with friends is absolutely exhausting. I just want to be alone all the time. I feel nothing. Well, if tired is a feeling then that's all I feel. I have nothing to look forward to.

 

You were an a**hole, but you were a good listener and were patient with me and my emotional ups and downs. Now I don't have anyone to talk to. Why burden anyone else with my whining? I'll fight through this the best I can alone. Wish me luck.

[healingishard]

im actually moving on now. its happening for me...i loved you and im sorry you didnt think i was even worth truly trying for but im chalking it up to us actually not being meant for each other...as there just is no other viable reason. i will not forget the way i felt for you but i believe its possible you were placed in my path to get me to where i am now. i am very hopeful for my future here and have found my smile again. things are looking up...geezus im actually pursuing a career ive always wanted. and who knows, maybe there is someone here for me...maybe ive found him again and maybe you were a learning experience of what not to do. you were my first choice love...i wish you the best and hope your finding your smile. i love you forever and always. im sorry we let us end such a terrible way. but im so appreciative to actually be able to say im making peace with it. finally.

[3Tears]

Why am I waiting for you, just looking at my phone waiting a text from you at the same time, every night. I miss you so much, I never thought you could be this cold, I never thought you could just ditch me like this, out of everyone you're the one to hurt me the most, I gave you that power and this is what you did to me.

[Garryk]

I miss you and still love. So sad that you won't take me back. I'm destroyed.

[Steve29]

So it's been 19 days of NC. The last 7-8 days I've barely thought of you. I also felt happy we had the courage to start NC and move on from each other. Was feeling happy I can experience new people.

 

But suddenly tonight I miss you. Watching some silly rom com on TV (50 first dates) and feeling sad about us having give up on "us" and moving on.

 

Ah well... Guess it wasn't meant to be.

[miki1611]

I miss you. I miss you. I never hated you.

[3Tears]

Why I keep waiting for you? Why I keep waiting for your call or a text... ? It just keeps hurting me when I fall asleep and wake up looking at my phone to see theres no text or missed calls from you. I still sometimes ask myself, what happened to us? We were so close... I loved you so much and now you're just gone.

[JayCho]

3Tears, I feel exactly the same as you... exactly.

[3Tears]

3Tears, I feel exactly the same as you... exactly.

 

Its crazy how someone can get so close to us and at the end of the day be the one who hurts you the most, out of everyone in your life.

[JayCho]

I miss the girl I fell in love with. I miss your cheesy smile, the way you said words in a goofy fashion like "sangwich." I would give up ANYTHING for that girl back, anything.... The girl who tattooed my name on her foot, who would stop at nothing to make me happy. Every time I close my eyes I see your wonderful smile and it feels like Mike Tyson punched me in the gut. I dream about you every single night and wake up feeling around the bed looking for you and you're not there.... Ouch. So hard to start the day like that everyday. I wish there was something I could do, I would do anything just to get the happy girl back that I fell in love with. It's been 6 days from I heard from you and it's not getting easier, it's getting harder everyday. Maybe because I lost you once before and for that WHOLE YEAR I felt so empty without you. Walking around like a ghost, feeling like I was just passing through people, like the time spent was just me having an outer body experience... my soul vanished and when you came back I was ALIVE again. There's so much more I want to say... but I gotta walk away from my desk now as the tears have started to flow again... fml

[janut1]

Why I keep waiting for you? Why I keep waiting for your call or a text... ? It just keeps hurting me when I fall asleep and wake up looking at my phone to see theres no text or missed calls from you. I still sometimes ask myself, what happened to us? We were so close... I loved you so much and now you're just gone.

 

Same here too! Wish these thoughts would leave me.

[wtc540]

Exactly. That one person who was your best friend who you trusted the most, now treats some stranger better than you.

[healingishard]

i think i should probably stop writing to you now. i have to release you completely from my thoughts and i figure what better way to accomplish the task.

im sorry you ended up being a final stepping stone on the path to finding my heart but goodness gracious ive found it. i couldnt be happier to know i never have to worry about you poppin back into my life. ur gone...really undoubtedly gone. you meant something valuable to me and basically when i find my heart, i do not want or desire any temptations. not that you could ever be a temptation again because...you cant compare. you stand no chance. and oddly enough....its just in time.

 

im going to give this one my all. im pullin all the goodies out...hes so worth it. he may be my king. anyway...Soo ya. goodbye. you are released.

 

annndd now i must stop posting in this thread. i think im graduating. yay

[dasnico]

Yup. Thought about you again today. My eyes watered a little this morning. But, I didn't cry.

 

I've come to the conclusion you're not as tough as I thought you were. You aren't a fighter. When we almost broke up the first time, you just cried and didn't say anything but how much your heart hurt. You told me you'd walk me to my car. Then we made up because I initiated it.

 

When we actually broke up, you were crying your heart out and all you asked me was "are you sure this is what you want?" I said no (you told me you thought I said yes when we talked about it later on), and that was it. You kissed me so deeply and then left to go on a walk to clear your head. You didn't even try to get me to stay. Yet, you told me you loved me and that you saw a future with me. "I'm in this 100%". When I approached you three days later you told me you had accepted it and were starting to feel okay. ?! So soon? When you loved me as much as you said?

 

Then we started talking again. I explicitly told you many times that I wanted a second chance at this relationship because I LOVE you and I made a bad judgement call. You were so distant. I get it. I hurt you by breaking up with you, then when I wanted you back you saw a chance at hurting me back. Maybe. After you saying we should take things slowly, then failing to elaborate on what the boundaries were when I asked, you finally said we should go our separate ways after I accused you of stringing me along.

 

I spoke to a good, old friend today and told him about our relationship and break up. He was very harsh and said you didn't mean anything you said, and that you kept me on the hook so you could "get your d*** wet" and then move on. I don't believe this. I believe you were hurt and you were keeping me on the hook while you decided what you want. When I pushed it, you decided to leave.

 

You haven't answered my last email asking to be friends at some point. I didn't expect you to. I hope you're finding a better match now that you're back on the dating app we met on. I fricken love you and miss the crap out of you. Sometimes I am confused by my feelings for you now.

 

Be well. I'll be thinking of you... for now.

[miss_sunshine]

How can you just walk away and not feel the need to contact me? I was there every day loving you for 11 years and you just left and never looked back. Who are you? Who was I with for all that time? I can't believe this person was in you all along. It kills me to know that you never loved me the way i thought you did. I am an idiot for not realising that you felt this way.

 

I keep thinking of all the things that we will never do together, and watching the future I imagined for us crumble. You had your heart broken twice before me and you can still do this to another person. How do you sleep at night knowing how much you broke my heart? How do you sleep knowing that you led me to believe we were going to buy a house, get married and have kids. That 19 year old girl I was when you met me, if only she knew that one day you would vanish without a trace. Chewed up and spat out when you no longer needed her after you had taken her best years and then just left her all alone in the world, with a broken heart and the belief that everyone lies, that she is not good enough and so lost.

 

I hate you and love you so much at the same time. I miss you more than words can say. I miss your voice, your smile, our chats, sleeping next to you, laughing with you, just everything. I sit here with tears streaming down my face and for all I know you are with someone new or moving on and not thinking of me. It is going to take me so long to move on and let you go. I hope you are struggling and finding it hard, I hope sometimes you think of how much you have hurt me and feel bad for that. You never said you were sorry for suddenly not wanting to marry me and have kids even though we had talked about it so many times. In the end it was all about you, you, you and you just left and never looked back. Once again I am left thinking, where did you go, where did that man I love go? I wish I could go back in time and spend one last night with you. If I had known the last time you held me was going to be the last time, I never would have let you go.

 

I miss you and I love you always xx

[Destroyed 33]

Oh god. Its almost like its getting worse as the time passes now. I was kind of on an upswing there for a while and now, its just getting scary. After 16 years I just cant comprehend how you do not have the urge to call me. Apparently you are just really strong or just really dont give a damn about me. I cant wrap my head around it. I think we are at the 2 month point now and I dont know where the time went. I dont know what the past 16 years were. I dont know who I am and I dont want a future without you. I hate this so much. I was so in love with you and I honestly thought you felt the same. Now, you are running around with this other guy probably in complete bliss and infatuation. A brand new exciting life while I just sit here and rot. You are probably making him feel like some sort of hero or your knight in shining armor and what does that make me in this little fantasy world of yours? I cant believe you would view me like some sort of evil villain or enemy.

 

I just dont know and I am so scared and alone. I can only wait for the day where you fall off this little cloud and call me. I am sure that you are petrified of that day because you are pushing all the guilt and reality of the situation out of your life. You cant deal with what you have done so you chose to do everything in your power to pretend that I do not exist. It is so god damn sad and I am still in shock. Where are you! How could you do this in this way? I loved you so so much. You were the sun at the center of my universe and now its gone. I cant believe you would do this to me and just vanish in the blink of an eye. There is no hope.

[Sapphire blue]

Long post coming up! I did this as a letter to him because I need to feel like he knows how I really felt and feel.

 

 

 

I can't explain how hurt and frustrated I am at you. I have never trusted and loved anyone like I have you and I never thought you would hurt me this way. When we first met you warned me things would get difficult because of your exams and at the time I didn't care because I didn't know we would last that long. You were my first real boyfriend and for a long time I didn't let myself fall for you. I was scared, I'd not been in love before, I hadn't been intimate before and I didn't think you'd stick around long enough for it to happen. In the beginning you were so loving and caring, no one has ever treated me that well, I felt like a princess and my friends were even jealous because you were a true gentleman. You helped me through my anxiety you were there for me when things got too much, but also tried to push me and help me overcome my fears. I remember it came to Christmas and you were going home to see your family and you didn't want to go cause you wanted to spend the holiday with me, I made you go because again I wasn't sure how I felt and you should be with your family, I was overwhelmed that you would rather do that. When you went you texted me non stop, you said to me when you were back you had something to say to me, a three word phrase. I freaked out not knowing if I was ready for someone to say that to me when I wasn't at that stage. You were back and you said it, in the most unromantic of settings, but it didn't matter. A few months later I really let myself fall for you, I knew my holding back were insecurities on an intimate level opposed to my feelings for you. I loved how you were and how we were and how I had become. Not much longer down the line you pulled away from me. I told myself I was being paranoid I even blamed it on the pill I was on, a theory you helped me believe, but I knew deep down I wasn't being paranoid. We were weekend lovers and I was beginning to feel used. As your exams drew closer you pushed me further away. Once I told you outright that I felt you had your life, I had mine, we had our time together and the three never intertwined. You told me it would get better after your exams if I promise to wait for you. You knew I would, but you were having doubts at this stage yet you still selfishly asked me to wait, still saw me fall for you more. You once told me you think I miss you more than you miss me and from that point on I physically pulled away from you, hoping for reassurance you wanted me for more than just sex. Although I don't believe you set out to use me for that alone it's what happened. I waited for you and I so wanted things to get better. But as soon as your exams were over you were on the next flight home to your parents. Whilst you were away I got some weird jokey message about you having some good news and a grimace face... I asked 'Ooohhh what is it babe' and you responded you were going abroad with family and weren't sure when you'd be back. Of course you weren't best pleased with me not being best pleased, we had a mini argument and I really thought you were going to break up with me that night. You made me feel like such a nag, like I was the one in the wrong when it was you who would run away from every chance we had together. I wondered if you thought I was after some sort of commitment if you felt pressured for us to become more. I never wanted a ring, the only commitment I wanted was for you to want me in your life. I was not the kind of girl who requires 24/7 attention, but not seeing eachother for a month or so then you leave was pushing it. You made me feel used, like I was not good enough for you time passed sex. I told you this on the phone and it was the first time you showed emotion when breaking up with me. I think you knew it was true, who dates someone for so long but only really sees them on the weekend, of course you were busy but you knew I would have been happy with a 30min chat over a coffee, you had to eat and drink, why not one evening with me. You always had me at arms length, you weren't ever going to include me were you? I wish I hadn't introduced you to my family and I wish I hadn't told you my secrets and opened up when I didn't get that in return. Now of course I was not perfect in this relationship and I accept that I did things wrong too, I regret holding back for as long as I did, I regret not saying and showing you how much I loved you. I also regret for not bringing up issues in a sterner way where we may have been able to get to the root of it, rather than letting them simmer.

 

That said I want to thank you for our relationship. The start was the best time of my life, I had the most amazing time and I'm glad it was with you. We didn't match eachother and that's going to be okay. I think I have experienced every emotion with you and I think that's made me a bigger and better person. I have so much love to give and I'm sad we can't share that anymore. I'm sorry if I ever hurt you and I hope you felt the love I really had for you. I hope you find that 'soul mate' one day.

 

Once you told me you can never be friends with your ex. When we broke up you asked if we could be friends one day once I stop hating you. I reminded you of what you had once said and you went on to tell me that you were wrong, you think we could have a genuine relationship once given time. I look back on our relationship and wonder where we could start. We didn't know eachother first and we never really knew eachothers friends or family. We don't have any other basis than our relationship. As much as I adore you, care for you and love you, I'm not sure I could. I am done with trying, the ball is now in your court. I hope you try but sadly I feel you never will...

[JayCho]

Destroyed, you're a very strong person... from what I've read on here and the advice you've given you're a great guy (this coming from another guy). It's her LOSS. I know you're hurt now, we all are.. but you did nothing wrong and have everything to gain from this.

[silversoul]

f~~ck you!

[floridasfinest]

Oh god. Its almost like its getting worse as the time passes now.

 

Destroyed....

 

You ever think that maybe she will never "get what she deserves"? That the day will never come where she realizes what she did wrong? Bro...youre clinging to the idea that one day she will magically "wake up" and realize that she isnt happy...sorry to say this bud, but that day probably aint going to happen. ever.

 

You're probably right...shes out having fun with her new guy. While you rot. It's been 2 months. I am aware that it was a 16 year relationship, but now I'm beginning to see why she might have left you. Every single post you make on this forum is about YOU. You give advice, then you must tell your own story. You sound selfish and needy.

 

You gotta accept it. Listen to sad music. Be the heartbroken one. Act the role and let it out. By the sound of your story...she aint coming back man. She's much happier now. It's been 2 months...not enough time to "get over it"...but surely enough time to stop acting like a selfish, insecure, whiny baby.

 

Why can't you just sit down and tell yourself to man the hell up? I did. I cried every tear I had, then instantly made the decision to delete everything i had of her...I feel amazing now. You gotta grab your life while you can dude, or the habits you create now will last you a very long time...think about when you meet your dream girl, but youre still all jacked up because you never made the effort to get over the last one. You're just going to piss your life away.

 

edit: feel free to PM me if you want. I'm sure you probably think im an a-hole, but you really sound like you need some one-on-one help.

[3Tears]

I can't believe you've moved on so quickly...

 

I guess you never felt real love for me...