Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[IAmFCA]

Every now and then, I am annoyed that you aren't in contact.

 

I want to say to you

 

I have no desire to date you, compete with your current gf, judge you, manipulate you, or somehow float in your orbit. If I met you now, we would not even end up dating; our goals are just too different. In that context, you were my last mistake.

 

It remains that we did meet, though, and I saw how little effort you put into your friendships, which is unfortunate. I would have liked to catch up with you from time to time, hear how XX (state) is, hear what you are thinking on the business front.

 

I can't control others, I have no interest in controlling you, or in trying to have a friendship that isn't reciprocated. My respect for you has diminished significantly, particularly as a man. But my interest in how you are muddling through remains.

 

You have no interest in how I am doing, though, which kind of sucks. You know that I started a business, you know that I am smart as hell, you know that you would forget this in between communications.

 

You suck, if only for your ability to dismiss me. You do not deserve what I have, as a person. I would not hire you, nor let you in my house. You suck. But you are freaking smart. Smart! And a wanderer. I would like to hear of your adventures.

[Brotherhood67]

Look what you miss today, look what I achieved because you gave me a new-born strength to go on on, whatever the cost, look :

 

1. Fit like never before, new clothes, new style, new smile on my face, newfound confidence;
    
   
2. New girlfriend who actually CARES for me and has no trouble talking about her emotions;
    
   
3. My book is finally finished, I will publish it this year !;
    
   
4. The University took interest in me : I will teach there in autumn, for graduates, in my speciality. What a challenge ! Being a lawyer and teaching at the same time. Wonderful feeling;
    
   
5. Moving to Berlin next year, everything is moving in the right direction.
   

 

And this was all achieved IN SPITE of you. And I did all by myself.

 

Too bad for you. You won't even know a thing about who I am today. Ever.

[Clio]

You are now somebody else's problem. I hope that in time she sees you for the lying backstabbing bullying coward that you are and treat you accordingly. If not, she is in for a nasty ride. I hope that you get your comeuppance you sorry excuse of a man. And more importantly, I hope that I get someone wonderful for a change. You almost broke me but thanks to you I now know how to spot and avoid your type. You taught me well.

[3Tears]

I've missed you the most today... and its just painful

[LonelyGirl10]

I broke up with a new guy last night, and yet I still consider you my ex. I'm sitting on the couch right now eating pizza rolls and drinking wine, and missing you.

 

I'm scared that I'm never going to find someone that I love as much as I did you. I'm scared that I'm going to going to even feel anything for someone new. I didn't feel anything for him. I enjoyed spending time with him. He was fun, made me laugh. The sex was good. But I didn't feel anything for him.

 

At three months of dating you, I felt like I was going to burst with how much I loved you. Three months with him, nothing.

 

Am I broken? Did you break me?

 

I loved you so much. You were everything to me. I thought about you all day. I dreamed about you. I wanted a life with you. And you cheated on me. Not with just one girl, but two girls. The love of my life had sex with two other girls.

 

How do you come back from that?

 

Yeah, I've dated. And I will continue to date. But I'm terrified that I will never find that feeling again. What if I never fall in love again?

 

I'm still angry at you too. I was so good to you, and you cheated on me. I loved you, and you cheated on me. You didn't love me enough. You laid on that mattress and you had sex, while I was sitting at home missing you. You went out with the model repeatedly, and lied to me. I was so naive. You were having sex, and I was dreaming of a future with you. And after everything that happened, I still miss you.

 

You broke me. And I still miss you.

[miss_sunshine]

I can't believe its been three weeks and you have not contacted me. It hurts so much that you don't care anymore. I heard a new song today called 'Amnesia' by 5 seconds of summer and the words spoke so true to me. "It's like we never happened, was it just a lie? If what we had was real, how can you been fine?" I wonder what you are doing tonight and if you are enjoying your Saturday night. I was invited to go out for drinks with friends but I just can't face it at the moment. I am doing okay but I just feel so empty and like I am walking around without my heart as you still have it. Its so hard to break the patterns of over a decade. I don't know how to be without you and I do not want to be without you. I miss you more than words can say and I wish you were here. I wish I could talk to you, hold you and hear you tell me you love me one last time. I want to share the stories of my day with you, and share my life with you but I know I can't. I have not seen you in 21 days but it feels like just yesterday since I last saw you. Sending you love and hoping you miss me even half as much as I miss you. I wish I knew if you were coping and how you are feeling. I wonder how much longer I will go without seeing you. What if we never see each other again? What if the only contact we ever have again is to do with bills and moving final things? What if that is really all there is after 11 years. I will always wish we had one last hug and kiss and I did not just walk away. But would it even have meant anything anyway as you obviously did not love me anymore. I wonder if you ever did really love me the way I thought you did. When you told me you wanted to marry me in the past, I wonder if you ever really meant it. I wonder what I could have done to be good enough for you and if you will meet someone else who you will love enough to marry. If one day I will see pictures of you with her in her wedding dress, and see you with children. It's so weird that this really is true and not a dream. Sometimes I wish I would wake up and it was all a dream, or that I would die so I would not have to feel this pain. I miss you with every breath that I take and you are in my thoughts constantly.

[Destroyed 33]

I love you more than anything in the world. I would have done anything to make you happy and although I know that we were in a pretty stale routine, I thought you were happy in general. You pretended that you were right up to the last day. Even when we would have heart to hearts after little arguments and I would dig a little to make sure that there were no underlying issues, you always were able to convince me that our relationship was fine and that there was no reason for me to be concerned about "us".

 

About half way through our 16 year relationship you destroyed my trust and brought me to my knees with your betrayal and infidelity. We worked through it, established that we were still fully committed to each other and completely in love. I made huge changes whenever you looked me in the eye and seriously had a concern. My trust for you came a long long way since our first major issue. You had it just about as high as it could be and then used it to pull the wool over my eyes, cheat on me and set up a plan to abandon everything that we had worked so hard to get. You said, so many times how you wished that I could trust you more and we did get there. You took that trust and used it to kill me.

 

You convinced yourself that you were not cheating on me because, in your words, you didnt do anything physical with this guy until the day you broke it off and fled. But you cheated on me emotionally which I have found to be much worse. You saw this guy every day for 3 weeks knowing full well that you were both attracted to each other and an infatuation was developing all right under my nose. You pretended that everything was just fine every day during this affair. We had a few spats but in hindsight it was just you digging for reasons to argue and justify what you were doing behind my back. I apologized and put in the effort to patch things up each time which kind of foiled what you were doing. You told me you loved me every day and kissed me then went to work and spent time with your new boyfriend.

 

When it was all over and you came back to pick some things up, you had the nerve to advise me to not let my trust issues ruing my future relationships. How dare you even suggest that? Like I am the one who created these issue. After what you just pulled on me? You must be out of your mind! Whether you have considered it or not, when the day comes and I do find someone else to care about and be with, that person WILL NOT BE YOU and will have the ability to earn my trust. Turns out my gut was right all along and you were never worthy of my trust. You have taught me, if nothing else that my gut is almost always right.

 

It hurts that you were and are able to convince yourself that I am a screwed up person with control and trust issues that you just couldn't handle anymore. You convinced yourself that you were in a cage and trapped with me. You never expressed this to me and just pretend to be generally happy. The fact is, I never wanted to control you. The only time I ever tried to "control" anything was when it was in regard to you being unfaithful to me. This was not control. You were able to do anything you wanted with your life besides break my heart of be involved with other guys romantically. Sorry, I couldnt stand for it and would simply need to ask you once and a while to be open and honest with me. Apparently that was to smothering for you and the one "rule" that you needed to be free to break. I was never a control freak and you only told yourself that to make me feel like I had an issue. I just wanted honesty and confirmation once and a blue moon when my gut was telling me something was wrong. You are full of and it damaged my self esteem to feel like I had these issues.

 

I would have moved mountains for you. I took us from the ghetto to the perfect suburban neighborhood and did it with nothing but the power driven by your love and the need to make sure you were in a safe and happy environment. I did it all for our future and you threw it all away in an instant leaving me in a cold scary place that used to be full of life and love. For what? To get laid? Just to switch things up and see what it would be like?

 

You are weak. You could have and never would have left me without another guy to take care of you or give you the attention. You can never stand on your own two feet and I was proud to be able to help and take care of you. You could have done anything with your life that you wanted with me and I would have supported it besides be in another romantic relationship. I am sorry that was such a problem for you. One day you will find out that you threw away something far greater than anything you will ever find out there. The infatuation and excitement is going to be fun for a while but you will end up in a routine again one day and it will all begin to fade out. What will you do then?

 

I love you more than you will ever know but I hate and never will forgive you for what you have done to me. Reckless, careless, selfish, cold and heartless. I would have never hurt you. I would have never held you back from following your dreams if you only had some. You blamed me for the fact that you were completely unmotivated and stuck. You told me that you couldnt do the things you wanted with your life because you didnt want to deal with my reactions. This is pathetic and untrue. You did nothing because you were lazy and had me to do everything even though I tried so hard to pull you in to every process.

 

16 years and you just flipped a switch and ruined my life. You took everything. Every ounce of happiness, All of my confidence and pride, all of my progress and hard work, my motivation and our future and worst of all, my heart. You took it all and threw it in the trash and screwed this other guy the first second you had a chance. That is all you really wanted. I would say that I hope your happy but I cant even say it condescendingly. I want you to feel the pain that I am in. You deserve it.

 

I love you.

[miss_sunshine]

Destroyed, I just wanted to say that I feel your pain. I was with my ex for 11.5 years and he decided he did not know if he wanted marriage and kids and he left me. You would think he could have worked that out sometime in the decade we were together and not strung me along and taken all my best youthful years. Its so hard when you have been with someone for so long and they were not upfront with you and you feel like it was all a lie. For what it is worth you sound like a nice guy and I am sure you will be better off without her and find someone who will be there for you always and will never leave, Stay strong and keep smiling. I found this quote helpful, I don't know if you will as well. "Oh my friend, it's not what they take away from you that counts. It's what you do with what you have left."

[TripTheDeep]

"Here's hoping down the line when I meet you, you're not still in denial of how much this guy "Loves you" when he doesn't/hasn't respect/ed your space."

[2 months away]

Oh, btw,

 

F*** you.

[Destroyed 33]

I just wanted to let you know that I still love you and miss you more than ever even after the fatal blow that you took to my life when you ripped out my heart. I know you dont think I remember a lot of the romantic times that we shared earlier in our relationship but I really do. A lot more than you think!

 

I wanted to tell you that the best moment of my life was 16 years ago after our first date when I walked you up to your fathers porch. Mohawk blazing, leather jacketed homeless kid with nothing but song lyrics and cigarettes in his pocket. I asked you so politely if it would be ok to kiss you. When you said yes and I did, that was hands down the best moment of my life. In that moment, I finally knew what my purpose was.

 

I love you more than anyone has ever loved anything ever and I know you still love me too. I would do anything for you.

[samy]

I don't think am worse off without you. Hope you find somewhere soon.

Another night when you said awful things about me and us. My stomach is in pieces.

 

To add more problems you rescued a kitten today, I trained you well in this, I like this if you she is lovely but she is unwell and now I am so woodied we have to wait for tomorrow for the vet and you get annoyed with me for this. Hateful person and yes I do think you are right when you say you are a deadbeat and a failure, yes you are actually because you complain only, do something to better yourself and your career

[hopelessincan]

I want you to know that I am sorry for not texting you back. I really really wanted to. You really are all over the map though. If you dont want all of me, then you cant have the good parts.

You are quite persistent I must say. Looks like youve given up though.

 

Its very hard on me not seeing you or talking to you. I hope you know that.

Guess we will have to get together, so you can have your stuff. But its going to bring me right back you know. I see you and I melt. I really dont like you right now. You broke my heart.

And you are moving soon, so that is going to be even harder.

[Steve29]

I feel really bad about the last 2 weeks... our last 2 weeks.

 

I hope you don't hold it against me. I mean we both acted pretty stupidly. I can't believe we spent 5 years together and we can't even salvage a friendship out of it. You really think we decimated our connection? That's really hurtful. I know I acted like a head the last 1.5 years of us being together. You know I have commitment issues. If I had not acted that way, you probably would have as you have similar issues.

 

And I'm sorry about the sex thing. Truth is, and I've never told you this, I lost my physical attraction to you. You probably know it anyway and that's why you ended up in therapy to try and make us work. But there is more to a relationship than just the physical attraction. I would move the ing world for you.

 

The doubts you've been having about this being the biggest mistake in your life... well I can't say for sure that it is. It's clear we have some issues, but we both find it so hard to move on. Surely there is a reason?

 

Just take some time, find yourself, and if things don't work out with Jack, let's move to another country together and start afresh. It really was a timing issue that made this fall apart. Second time around would work I think.

 

Ok, i'm going to go back to NC now. 2 months. It's going to be hard, and at the end of it we will probably not care that it didn't work. That's possibly the scariest thought of all. How could all this emotion lead to nothing!

 

Love

 

Steve

[Steve29]

Couple more things:

 

1) It's true that some of my feelings came from you finding a new guy. I can admit that now. But they're true feelings anyway. Would they go away if you took the jump with me and took me back? I don't think so. I honestly don't. I honestly believe I am now ready to build a life with someone. I will let you know if this changes as we go NC.

 

2) Today is NC day 1

[Brotherhood67]

In one month, you'll be gone.

 

You'll be leaving for Canada, for your new life. We will never see each other again. I won't be there to tell you goodbye and while I wanted to for a couple of months, you definitely destroyed every little bit of our relationship in a few weeks.

 

Most of all, what you destroyed was not only our love, it also was our friendship. The one and sole thing we could eventually have salvaged from this mess. In fact you wanted to.

 

No, you pretended you wanted to. That's more like it.

 

I did not.

 

My friends, my real friends are not liars, my friends are not cheaters, my friends care about me and I care about them, my friends are there when I need them and I would do everything for them, my friends just don't say f**** it all and leave without notice, my friends don't spend their time complaining about me and how unbearable I am to others, especially others who don't know me. My friends apologize and I feel the need to apologize to them when I hurt them.

 

My friends are my friends.

 

You have none of their qualities. Sorry.

 

I told you goodbye for good on may 18th of this year, by erasing everything from us, from you, and blocking you. You didn't even tell me goodbye in return. Further proof of your selfishness.

 

Have fun in Canada. That's all that matters to you anyway : Your well-being. And nothing else.

 

Ciao bella !

[sungolds]

When you kept calling him your "best friend," that really drove a knife through my heart. I can't understand how you just left me like that. All the time and energy you were giving to him you could have been giving to us. The fact that you can't see what you did leading to our conclusion as crossing some serious boundaries is really heartbreaking. Either you don't know what a boundary is, or you're straight up lying to me! And your "friend" never had any regard or respect for our relationship, or else he wouldn't have tried monopolizing your time like that. Maybe the fact that you're both daft about not seeing the scene for what it was means you're perfect for one another...

 

Whenever I've tried to tell you how I feel about this and how it was disrespectful and showed you didn't value my feelings or me as a person, you automatically turn the tables back on me. I know what I did wrong and fully own my responsibility of it. But it takes two. And the fact that you know that I regret what I did, that I'm remorseful, and that I actually took actions to show you that you matter just shows you how much I truly care for you and actually love and accept you for who you are. Accept that I accept you.

 

And so the fact that you were slowly falling in love with him (even if you say you weren't) right under my nose hurt like a m***** f*****. I was committed to you even past our breakup talk. I wouldn't have stayed up til 3am helping you with your job app, if I didn't. You say you like your friend because it's how he treats people. Well, I treated you like a queen. You just didn't accept that I accepted you fully. Every compliment, every nice thing I said was authentic. It wasn't colored with anything negative. I loved you for you. And you left because you couldn't see that. It's such a shame.

 

When you say I 'screwed the pooch', I really didn't. You were honest with me, and I was honest with you. I told you my feelings in response to the situation. The truth hurts. Believe me, I know. But the difference for you is that you get to go about your day and start building a life with someone you "love" right after breaking it off with me. And I don't. How's that for being self-sufficient?? Did I even mean anything to you? It doesn't seem so....

[Destroyed 33]

How hard are you trying to forget about me? How often, if ever do you cry or become emotional when you think about us and what you have walked away from? Are you truly able to spend periods of time without me on your mind and actually be content and happy? I cant picture being able to do that anytime soon. Are you sometimes afraid that you made a horrible decision? Do you ever have the desire to just come running home or even pick up the phone to call me? Do you think of me when you are with him? Are you doing that "thing you do" with him and showering him with love and attention to make him fall in love with you making him feel like the most special person in the world? Do you think you will ever have the desire to call me and really talk like I actually meant something to you? Do you have any idea how much I love you? That is a rhetorical question. You clearly have no clue and no desire to know. I wish I could show you. No one will ever love you more. It is not possible.

[3Tears]

I loved you more than anything in this world, you got to be the person that has gotten the closest to me and I won't ever be able to forget about you, sometimes I wish I could but thats not possible, not after everything we went through, the good and the bad. Even after all the craziness you made me go through, I tolerated you and I even loved you more, for ever "I love you" you told me I would tell you that I loved you back, I was always there for you at anytime, even when I was busy I would still want to talk to you, I swallowed my pride and I would have done anything you asked me for a second chance and you never gave it to me, I begged you, on my knees like a pathetic loser and you didn't even care. I swear I would have done anything for you because I loved you that much, I wanted you to be the mother of my kids someday, I wanted you to be my wife, the woman that I would spend the rest of my live with. The woman that would be there with me when I accomplished my goals in life, the woman that would be with me through good AND bad, no matter how hard the situation was and even after ALL the stupid things you did that got me angry and would hurt me I would have NEVER left you, NEVER because I felt you were the one, you were my soulmate, just like you told me. Now I see, you were just infatuated with me for those 2 years, you never really felt TRUE love, it was just lust I could bet and when you had your ways with me you got bored and discarded me like a used old toy, I didn't cut it for you anymore huh?

 

I hope this guy you're seeing, who is a total loser, hurts you, so you can realize what you lost, so you can see that I truly cared and loved you, I swear that nobody will ever love you the way I did, NOBODY is going to put up with the crap I put up for you, because like I said I DID love you, so much and you didn't care, you just didn't. Hope you enjoy your new party life that you left me for one with drinking and going to that bar living that trashy life you've always wanted to live, so shallow, I thought you were better than this. Choosing alcohol and toxic friends over a caring boyfriend, such ignorance. You're dead to me, you're no longer that girl I loved and would have loved me back unconditionally.

[miss_sunshine]

I really miss you today. I thought I was doing okay and I have been mostly compared to what I expected but today I am just sad. I am sad that I can no longer come home to you at the end of the day, that I can't hug you or kiss you or hear about your day, that I have lost my best friend and I feel so lost without you. I miss your voice, your laugh, your smile, everything. I feel so empty without you and I keep thinking it's all a dream that I will wake up and you will not really be gone. I love you and I hope you know that I wanted to reply to the message you sent me with the photo. It meant so much to me and made me smile. It was so nice to know that you were thinking of me in that moment and that you are struggling in a way as well. I just don't know what to say, I can't be your friend as I love you too much. I can't reply as I will hope it means more than I know it probably does and then my heart will get broken all over again. I love you and miss you every day, you are in my thoughts constantly and I just do not know how to say goodbye. Xxx

[Jewels7]

I dreamed about you all night last night. I wanted so badly to text you and tell you that I miss my best friend. But I didn't. Now I'm sitting at work bawling my eyes out. I love you and want you so bad. You treated me like though and I deserve so much better. I just don't know if I'll ever find it... Or if I'll ever want anyone but you. I left you and you're probably over me... And I'm still crying two months later.

[thebeautiful]

I want to text you right now and ask you....why did I believe you when you said you would protect me and my daughter? Why do I resent you for not being there when I feel emotionally in pain. I'm not sure what to think. I wish I could text you and get a response but I won't. I can't.

[jphcbpa]

found a video of you and my son playing. the two people I love the most together having fun. been in the bathroom at work balling today. i miss those playful moments.

[hopelessincan]

Guess its a standoff. I know youre hurt and angry for my not answering you but whats the point? I expected to hear from you at leaat once while you were gone...but guess it goes to show ya..... Things would have been different once you moved.

 

youre surrounded by people when you're home... Doesnt giveyou time to think about us i guess. So ill be hearing from you in a week? Then youre gone for good.

 

 

 

well happy can day. We were supposed to be at that party together. You promised youd be here. But that was before...who knows..mayve if id seen you and talkes to you, things would be different. But i wont be ypur crutch or make you think youre still a good guy. Deal with your guilt yourself.

 

i didnt go to the party. Im chilling by myself in the sun, drink in hand pondering life. Its all good.

 

they would have just gone on to me about how youre scared. And how they think you love me. Apparently its the way you look at me.

 

running away spunds like a better idea eh dumny

[janut1]

I was doing great, feeling better, riding my new bike a bit too. But today is day 30 since our last "text" and I can honestly say I really miss you even with all the hurt and crap you put me through. Its so weird when you break up with someone. Your mind remembers all the good times, the companionship, the fun. It takes a lot more effort to remember the bad stuff. It should be the other way around.

 

You have not contacted me, which at times is so unbelievable to me! You used to text and call me all day, every day for 19 months straight, unless we were together. Even then you did sometimes as a joke. It was annoying sometimes, but it is way better then a quiet phone that I have now. No text, or calls from you and my phone is dead quiet. I check it sometimes to see if it is turned off.

 

I thought about how the wireless company can see the big drop off of calls and texts to my cell phone and they probably think... well that relationship is over! I know how ridiculous , but I have LOADS of time to think about stupid things like that now.