Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[Philabonia]

I had a dream about you last night...it was so vivid. I can't think correctly today. I hate the realization that you are still gone, but it was nice to spend a few moments with you in my mind.

[White]

well... I hate you very much.

But I also love you a little bit more than I hate you.

And somehow I just can't stop dreaming of you, every single night for 4 years.

No matter what we both did, you'll always be my best friend and my greatest love- the person I imagine leaning my head on every time I feel insecure and hurt- just like today.

[northpickle]

I will most likely get a infraction for bad language use if I were to write exactly what has being going through my head regarding you today. I might try and write an alphabet of swear words that relate to you later, although I won't do it on here. Anger doesn't sit well with me but I don't miss you now, I pretty much despise you for messing with my heart that I gave to you so freely. I shouldn't have been so careless.

[Moonchill]

This is why we should go on with our lives while being amazing:

 

[Moonchill]

(That's right mister, you never should have let me go!)

[Notagoodninja]

So this is the best way I can describe my feelings. My bay has died. You are dead. You are gone. You are buried. We spent 4 years together. For 4 long years we had ups and downs. We had good times and bad times. We were in love, and fighting. We had passion and romance. We had hardships. We went through a lot. We made thousands of memories. Memories upon memories.

 

Here is how I view our situation.

 

Our relationship, our passionate/heated marriage, has died. You are now dead. What I am now experiencing is the trauma, grief, the memories. Re-living them much as if someone truly died and you re-live the memories and you never forget them. I will never forget you or forget being married to you. I will never forget "us". But the moment I left in October, that is when you died in my heart and mind forever. I know going forward that the memories will linger. That is OK. I can accept that and I can grieve.

 

But you are dead to me forever. There are no new memories to be made. I will never speak to you again.

If you were to contact me, I would delete it and ignore it.

 

IF I need to contact you, I will go around you to your family member or a lawyer. As if you were truly dead and I was going through your attorney...

 

The way you act, the way you write, reminds me of how charming, manipulative and deceitful you really are. You are not sweet. You are not charming. You are not a diplomat like you may delusional believe yourself to be. You are not a nice person. You are not a good man.

 

You are dead to me.

[Notagoodninja]

P.S...

 

I was looking at some pics of myself taken a few days ago. I look so much better. I have lost like 4 years of age off my face. I feel less stressed. I look younger I feel younger. I've been getting carded again!! My face is fuller and more youthful all of the sudden. My body is tighter, I'm working out and getting fit again. I feel great!!! I am so excited to see what life has in store for me!

[Notagoodninja]

"In reality, the narcissist loves not anyone, not even himself, but rather falls in love with the 'impression' he makes upon others, and falsely feels love toward those who are most in awe of this 'impression'. Should the object of his love suddenly see through his fake image and find fault or flaw in his 'real' self, he will become outraged and full of disdain, disrespect, and an intense and contemptuous dislike and despite for that person. In a heartbeat his love for that person will become replaced with a loathsome disgust. His real self has been discovered and revealed."

[GreenCupcake]

Notagoodninja, I like that quote. It sounds a lot like my ex. He put on a mask throughout the relationship and couldn't handle being confronted. Towards the end, I became even more upset and confronted him constantly because I couldn't take it anymore. He took the chance to exit the relationship and blamed me for everything. He tried to make me look like the crazy one even though he was the one who lied all the time and did stuff behind my back.

 

Right now, he probably hates me the most because I know a lot more about him than his family and friends. I know how full of crap he is. He probably thought I was naive because I was nice and outgoing many times, but it didn't take long before I started to realize that something wasn't right. I was in denial for a while because I thought that maybe I was the main cause of our problems. Selfish, loveless people are capable of making others feel that way. They use pity tactics and the next thing you know, you find yourself accepting inexcusable behavior that you wouldn't accept from someone else. They are good manipulators until someone steps their foot down. And because they don't really have to ability to sympathize with others, they won't really care if they break someone's heart.

 

That's one of the reasons why I think it's so dangerous (emotionally and mentally) to wait and expect answers from a person because it may never happen, and even if it does, it could be a manipulative attempt to get a quick fix and move on again.

[Notagoodninja]

Thanks girl I saw that today here's a good link too'

link removed

 

My ex used pity too!!! NO KIDDING! He used pity to reel me in now he's prob doing it to his next victim! GOOD THING we are done with these guys even if the memory hurts...we have to bury our love and realize they sociopaths never are capable of LOVE!

[GreenCupcake]

Oh my goodness, I think I looked at that website several weeks ago! I was going nuts trying to get more answers about my ex. I didn't want him back but his actions made me super curious. And yes, the memory does hurt at times. I miss the person that I thought he was.

 

These type of men are scary because in a crazy way they are charming! Whatever happened in their past allowed them to be really good manipulators. The fact that they know how to "act" normal is scary too. Pity is not acceptable! It's just a way to shift the blame and make people feel horrible about something that is out of their control.

 

At least we are capable of real feelings. That's very reassuring

[Notagoodninja]

Oh my goodness, I think I looked at that website several weeks ago! I was going nuts trying to get more answers about my ex. I didn't want him back but his actions made me super curious. And yes, the memory does hurt at times. I miss the person that I thought he was.

 

These type of men are scary because in a crazy way they are charming! Whatever happened in their past allowed them to be really good manipulators. The fact that they know how to "act" normal is scary too. Pity is not acceptable! It's just a way to shift the blame and make people feel horrible about something that is out of their control.

 

At least we are capable of real feelings. That's very reassuring

 

I know. And I know I shouldn't wish bad upon someone who is mentally challenged like a socio path...it's very hard though.

I should be grateful to God that I was born normal right?

I mean why was he born not normal, and I was? Why am I born in the UsA, and not some poverty stricken nation like Ethiopia? I should definetely be full of grace, compassion, mercy, forgiveness and thankfulness. It's really hard to turn the other cheek.

[northpickle]

I hope I find love as real again one day, but next time I hope it will be reciprocated. Seriously, what the hell was going on in your head?! Huh?! You're baffling. how DARE you make me feel like I wasn't good enough for you!!! I would have done anything for you and I DID! You SUCK!!! You're meant to COMMUNICATE in a relationship, sometimes I think you treat me like we were friends with benefits! But I flaming LOVED you and you knew that. YOU SUCK, MISTER. SUCK SUCK SUCK!!!!

 

(that felt good)

[Robin2904]

I'm not sure how I feel towards you right now. Not really angry, not really sad, very very hurt.....It's an indescribable feeling. Maybe....disappointed? I'm disappointed in you. I'm disappointed in myself for thinking you changed and that you wouldn't hurt me this time. I'm even more disappointed in myself for still loving you, and still wanting to deep down inside have hope you will change your mind and give me the time of day again....I just...I don't even know anymore. Though my phone has been temporarily disconnected so I really have no idea if you ever did send me a text to have that talk like I asked....and I can't pay it until this check in my account clears....and then I thought, maybe this is the universe telling me something! It's been kind of peaceful with the phone off today, I don't stalk it waiting for you to text me. Which I doubt you have....and even if you do, well good because I'm not sure I would be able to ignore you right now anyway, and after all you put me through I SHOULD be ignoring you. I should be going NC again! Maybe this was a blessing so I can just focus on this week and my aunt's wedding! I hope I can keep it together for the wedding!

[thelastsong]

I had the worst nightmare about you last night. I dreamed I went to a movie theater only to see you and her together. She was laughing this annoying little laugh, and you looked so happy. And no matter where I went, you two were always there.

 

How can people honestly expect me to be friends with you? Yes, I forgive you. Yes, I want you to be happy. But friends? There's only so much a girl can take. I do have some self-respect. You cannot treat a person like that and then expect them to be your BFF. Please get out of my life. Let me forget you. Let me move on.

[O-shen]

EX - stop contacting me! You msg me tonight. You got back with your ex, you made your move, now live with it. Why are you trying to get me to talk to you? Accept responsibilities for your actions.

 

EX EX - stop contacting me! you tried to call me early this morning for who knows what. But thats right, you took off round the country with another man. Hope that works out for ya

[KYRiverGrl]

Ex, you suck. You put this face in public that you're the nicest man in the world and such a great catch. Women so ate it up and still do. There was a time when I ate it up ... much to my undoing.

 

I know how you REALLY are behind closed doors -- controlling, manipulative, evasive, belittling, and shallow. You told me that you loved me 20+ times a day, and that you could not live without me -- yet you were all too willing to dump me for a friend of ours (without even taking the trouble to break up with me first) when things did not go your way. So much for all of the "love you's." It is true that talk is cheap. In your case it's absolutely free, haha. You don't walk your talk, mister, and someday Karma is going to totally fry your sorry ass. I will get front-row tickets! No, take that back, I am not going to witness it because you are not worth my time and attention.

 

Perhaps, someday, you'll realize that true love comes from within. Another person can't do it for you. I realize you have issues -- so do I -- but I MADE THE CHOICE to work with them instead of using other people to fulfill fantasies of how the world revolves around you. May God have mercy on your soul.

[Melting]

Just so you know, you don't make me miserable any more.... My life is worth so much more then just moping about you.

[Aleina2011]

I was hoping today could be Day one of NC (again) but it wasn't meant to be - my stupid phone had to ring your number while in my bag. And I had to get a text from your sister saying you had told me several time you didn't think it was good for us to talk. Imagine my shock at hearing this, why would you say something like that, why hurting me even more? She said why do you call him? I checked my phone and there were 10 calls to your number. Why didn't I delete your stupid number?! So yeah, I broke NC without even knowing it - had you picked up the phone you would have realised it was an accident. No, you had to ask your sister to contact me. You know what? It's ok - tomorrow is a new day and Day One of a NC which will last for the rest of my life. I can't wait for my mind to be free again.

[Jane00]

I think I was a victim of a G.I.G.S. relationship. You left her because you liked me and wanted to be with me. I know you did even if you always denied it.

 

You're too old to be that unstable. And that's not your only problem, you are also a cheater. You are so messed up in the head. You have so much growing up to do, and that's coming from someone who's 8 years younger than you.

 

I'm glad I didn't waste any more time being in a "relationship" with you. I was so in love that I didn't see all your horrible flaws, but now that I no longer love you I know that I'm so much better off without you. Unfortunately I didn fall in love with you. And I don't think you'll ever know how much you hurt me, or even care.

 

Oh, and you're nothing special in bed either...

 

I can't say that I have no feelings for you yet, but I will be there soon.

[Melting]

I remember something like this happening to me 2 wks after we broke up. I was trying to delete his number and accidently rang it instead, I felt like an absolute idiot...

 

Chin up chicky, its a long journey, but you will get there.

[Aleina2011]

I remember something like this happening to me 2 wks after we broke up. I was trying to delete his number and accidently rang it instead, I felt like an absolute idiot...

 

Chin up chicky, its a long journey, but you will get there.

 

Thanks Melting

 

How's it going at work? Getting any easier?

[wanttomoveon]

Feeling a bit deflated today. I've felt pretty good for the past few weeks, other than a few worries about the house when I've felt the need to turn to you for reassurance. Last week after passing my driving test I really was on cloud nine and thought maybe I'd turned a corner, but then on Friday my best friends boyfriend broke up with her. She is devastated and I've been helping her as much as I possibly can, but at the moment I know there's nothing I can say or do that will really make her feel any better. I'm just being there for her as much as I can. Anyway, I'd not really thought that much about us in little while, but after seeing her last night I did end up feeling sad about everything that's happened between us.

 

It's sad that after 11 years of friendship, 7 years of relationship, things are now like this. Part of me wishes I could hate you and never want to see or speak to you again, but I just don't feel that way. I've had the odd day or so of thinking I hated you, but I don't. I would never want to be with you again, but I find it sad knowing that we can't be friends. That we aren't friends. Now just two people with history who own a house together.

 

I wonder if you ever think of me and miss me. Surely you must do, even just a tiny bit? I know it shouldn't matter, but no one wants to think that their ex, the most significant relationship of their life, doesn't miss them at all do they?

[AnnaN]

Two weeks tonight. Two weeks and a few hours ago I was happy with you in my life and you ruined everything in one moment...

 

I had some great news from both the work and university today! I should be happy but I felt sad, I had no one to share the good news with, if you were here, we would go out celebrating... At least the new projects will keep my mind busy, hopefully...

I have some ex recovery books in my computer, I thought I could read them. The idea made me smile, gave me false hopes, almost like I am sure you will come back! I know you won't. I know you don't even think of me. You said that you love me and you care, but you didn't care to contact and see how i am doing after what you did, you just disappeared giving no answers...

[somethngwrng]

I'm scared to death of running into you I don't want to see you. I don't want to acknowledge your existence. I don't want to see you having fun with other people.