kleptoz28

It's quite possible that you two may still love each other. But be in control of those "urges", because like someone else already said, you don't want to be the "other woman". Think about this all for yourself and then talk to this guy, but make it very clear that he has to choose between this girl and you, and don't sleep with him again while he's seeing someone else. The final thing to consider is that "once a cheater, always a cheater" usually holds true. If he would cheat on her with you, can you be entirely sure that someday he wouldn't do the same to you with someone else?

Amelia, It's a good thing you realized that when you did. I've never understood why some women will leave a perfectly healthy relationship to go back to an abusive ex, but it's certainly good for you that you've decided not to.

I've been broken up with my girlfriend for two weeks now. Anyone who's seen some of my other posts may know that this isn't the first "break" I've been on with her. Both times, the no contact thing only lasted a few days before she called. Well, she's called me a few times this week and we've talked about a lot of things. She says she's not in a place in her life where she can be with anyone right now, and doesn't know how long it will be till she is. But she also says she still loves me and if she could be with anyone, it would be me. She even talks about all kinds of places she would like to go with me later on this year. She also asked me to come over to her appartment today and help her fix a few things. (Household repair type stuff that I'm usually good at) Well, she was tired in the afternoon and latches onto me and wanted me to cuddle up with her and take a nap. She also kissed me once today, but then jumped back and appologized, saying it was a habit. To me, its obvious she still cares for me. But not knowing her exact reasons for the split (though I have some idea) or when/if she wants me back, does anyone have any suggestions on how to avoid falling into the "friendship trap" or anything that I should/shouldn't do during this time so she'll remain interested in me? My worst fear is that if I screw up, when she is ready to have a boyfriend again, she'd find someone else.

I dated a girl a few years back, broke up with her due to her living arrangements at the time, and then ran into her and started dating her again this February. She told me in March that she needed space, broke up with me, and then called 3 days later saying she'd made a mistake. Well... she changed her mind again, and we're currently on what she calls a "break" so she can get her life straight. Still not sure how my situation will turn out the 3rd (4th?) time around, but I do believe that if the reason for the breakup is an issue that one person is dealing with, and the two people still do love each other that it can work. Just don't make the mistake of rushing back into it too soon, before the other person has had time to sort themselves out.

If the conversation with him up to this point has been of a friendly tone, I don't see where it could hurt. I've seen having a drink or two with an ex bring out what they're really thinking. Sometimes people open up a bit more and are more willing to say if they miss someone. The only reason I wouldn't advise it would be if the conversations so far with him were unpleasant or if he kept cutting contact short with you.

I'm in the middle of a break-type situation myself. (which really SUCKS, BTW) The girl needs time to "work on herself", but it isn't about seeing anyone else. What I've noticed is that seeing each other on a regular (scheduled) basis as "friends" like the once a week thing you mentioned actually creates more stress. We end up talking about the relationship, and we only see each other in a semi-depressed state. That seems to kill that "spark" that was between us. I'm starting to figure out that the best thing during this break is to actually keep your distance. Let them start to miss you. That way, when/if the break ends, you'll have some sort of spark when you finally get back with the person you've been missing.

Sorry, I mentioned this in the previous thread I had on here, but I forgot to in this one. She works as a stripper, so seeing a guy driving her to work is something I'd read a lot into UNLESS either: 1. It was her gay friend or 2. Maybe I didn't get a good look and it was one of the other girls driving

Exactly what he said. The other guy won't last. Be there for her, but don't overdo it by doing her laundry / cooking for her.

Don't go and do this till someone else gives you a comment on it, but I'd say you should make it clear to her that it's all or nothing. Tell her that you think this kind of relationship is unhealthy for the two of you. Either she wants a relationship with you or she doesn't, but you're not willing to be her emotional tampon (find a nicer way to say that) while she looks for someone else. She can't have her cake and eat it too.

Hey, when you figure out why women are only faithful to the "bad boys", PLEASE let me know. Every serious girlfriend I've ever had has told me at some point that I treated them better than anyone else ever has... but all those relationships ended with my girlfriend cheating on me, too! I can't explain that at all.

Ok , so tonight I hit a major problem. I had some work to do but realized I had left my toolbox at the ex's appartment. Ok, well that might violate the no-contact thing, but I needed it for certain and the site I was working on was just a few minutes away. So I figured I could get it from her before she went into work tonight without much hassel, but I arrived to her appartment just as she was getting into her car... and SOMEONE ELSE WAS DRIVING HER. I didn't get a good look at who it was... maybe her gay friend, but I doubt it. This was like 5 minutes before she had to be to work, so I think whoever it was would have to be someone from work. AND she saw me, but they pulled off and left without saying anything to me. Now I'm in a really shitty spot, because I have now inadvertantly initiated contact in a negative way. I still need to get my tools back, which means I'll have to call her, and now there's the issue of who was driving her and why they didn't stop. I'm starting to get the feeling that maybe she's seeing someone she works with? This freakin' sucks. I'm either gonna have to call there or she might give me some kinda angry call tomorrow wanting to know why I was even there. Any ideas on the least damaging way to get my stuff back?

This is kind of long, so please bear with... Hi again, all. I posted here about a month ago when my girlfriend broke up with me proclaiming that she needed space to work on herself. I didn't contact her at all, and 5 days later she called me crying about how much she missed me. She came over, talked for a long time, and told me she loved me. The next day, she came over again and said she wanted to get back together and thought she could completely devote herself to the relationship. Things went great for a few weeks, but then the same nervousness she had before started to show up. She told me that she had been in one relationship after another for a few years and although she thought she didn't need the break, she really does and so she broke up with me again. She told me I treated her better than anyone she's ever been with and she loves me, but that she doesn't think she's good for anyone right now. I know she does have some things about herself she needs to work on, even though I don't exactly understand why she has to be alone to do so. She asked if we could "still be friends", but everytime I've tried to be "just friends" with this girl, it lasts about a day before it turns into something more. So I did the same thing I did last time she broke up with me and told her it was best that I not see her if being alone was what she wanted. And I told her that I was going to leave her alone if that was what she wants, but that she was free to call me whenever she needs to. This happened once before and she came back in a few days. I'm hoping she'll take a week or a month to actually get her problems sorted out and then call again, cause I don't want to go through this ever again. My question here is, does it sound like I'm doing this right so far? Or is this girl never going to talk to me again? And what should I do if she calls wanting me as a friend? (my inclination would be to talk to her on the phone, but not actually see her unless she wants something more)

My ex contacted me two days ago to tell me she loved me and missed me. Only had to do the no contact thing for 9 days before she realized how much she missed having me around.

It sounds like he doesn't want to accept the decision to break up. But the real question is, do you really want to break up with him? If you were serious about not wanting to see him anymore, I would think you would put a stop to his acting like you are still together. If you two really love each other, and the problem is his mother, then breaking up with him isn't the solution to your problem. You and the boy need to have a talk with his mother. At the same time, how old is this boy? You're only 15, and as much as the mother is wrong for not respecting her son's privacy, she has a very valid point about you being too young for sex. While it may not be what you want to hear, if the two of you love each other like you say, you will still be together when you are old enough to handle that type of relationship.

Just over a week after we broke up, she called me telling me how much she loved me and missed me. Apparently all it took a little bit of time away to make her realize that. But now she seems more interested in having a serious relationship than she ever did before. Not quite sure I understand the reasoning behind it, but I can't complain.

I'm in a an odd situation with my now-ex-girlfriend and I really don't know what to do about it. A little background... I'm 22, she's 20. I've known her back in high school, but didn't really get to know her well until about a year ago. We dated a year ago and it lasted about three months, but we had to break up because she was stuck on a lease with an ex and it created a seriously odd situation when me and her would run into her ex and his girlfriend. I didn't contact her at all, and was more than a little surprised when she called me in January. She wanted to be friends, but it quickly evolved back into a relationship between the two of us. We were practically inseperable and did everything together since we had such similar interests. But sometimes our getting closer would be hindered because she constantly worried about the debt her ex left her with (from their lease). Some says seemed perfect, and others she was too depressed to do anything. Four days ago, she lost her job and she decided to break up with me. She says she needs "time to work on herself" and "cant manage a relationship now". On some level, I know its true that she should concentrate on fixing her financial situation. And its obvious that she's going through some depression. But it really hurts that she thinks she needs to be alone to do that. She wanted to be "friends" for a while, but I told her that I couldn't handle that right away and wanted to limit contact with her for a while. The only time I've saw her was today, when I took some of her things back to her. During the brief time I spoke to her, I found out that she's been very upset about breaking up and has been at home drinking every night since. (of course, so have I) She did tell me that when she was ready to be in a relationship, I would be the first one she called, but that she had no clue when or if that would happen. I don't know what to do. I'm almost afraid she'll mess up her life worse if I don't talk to her and she gets even more depressed. I really love this girl and want to be with her. Should I continue limiting contact and hope she comes back to me again? (or is that too much to hope for?) I'm open to just about any suggestions here.