Aragorn

Thank you BOTH so far, amazing answers. As for the 4 questions: 1) I agree, there IS no one answer! Everyone deals with things differently and has their own healing... 2) I hvae told Tina vaguely how I feel, she DOES feel the same she says BUT remains VERY SLOWLY about it. That is FINE for me, HERE I THE BEEF: I am nervous she MAY lose intrest OR find someone locally!!! She hasn;t emailed me in THREE DAYS (we were DAILY emailers till now) and I ghave sent a few emails... The LAST one (earlier today) asked her if she was "Stiil Here!?" 3) I kust get bumbed out weldign and my career life... I SHOULD return to Engineering. I feel like I am IN the moive Gatatca... 4) If it would true. I feel a STRONG connection, it IS there. I just hope she will feel the same. I HOPE so! Matt

I am in the SAME boat dude! I am 24 years old... I was in Engineeing for 1 1/2 years... I am CURRENTLY a welder (started Thrusday again) I HATE it but it is QUIK production and the day goes fast... It is HORRIBLE ont he health. LOL. I have been THINKING of returnig to Engineering, we'll see... I have a CRAP load of Student loand AND bank loans to pay off FIRS!!! View my post PLEASE: Matt

Hey Steven. I suppose I dont't know your situation FULLY. I have my own stories of love lost and heart broken: It looks optomistic. It has been OVER a year for me, and I could NOT have imagined things as well as they are actually... I haven't seen my ex since Sept. 20, 2003 (Saturday, THAT is how I remember)... and I ahev NOT talked to hear VIA voice since... A FEW hurtful emails from her, as she TRIED explaining WHY she broke up with me... MY WISH... To hold her in my arms? Not sure... My wish would be DIFFERENT form my personal wish... But ere is MY PERSONAL WISH... to find *love* once again and to have it NOT let go!!! Take care, Matt

Please read this fully, and for those that DO thank you SO much for doing so. Age count FYI (Me / Matt 24, Stacy 26, Becky 19 1/2, Tina 21 11/12) It has been over a YEAR since I had to deal with my first *love*, Stacy. I was in a state of depression and she left me mor eor less because of it. There is SO much MORE, but you'lll have to PM me personally to get it all. *TRYING* to keep this short... PLEASE checkout my postings from 10 and 6 months ago: link removed link removed The break up was NOT easyand wasn't official until we got back from a PRE-PAID road rip with my friend... During which time I tried SO HARD to patch things but to NO avail. The MORE I grew nervous the MORE I fell in love and REALIZED I loved her... She broke up with me and it shattered me... I SINCE THEN aquired a well paying job (which was an isuuse in me and Stacy reltionship FOR HER) using my trade skill in Welding. I worked at teh University (one of two here) and I met a gir on campus, Becky. We starting dating (though FAR too soon for me) She fell for me hard... (being younger than Stacy and kinda "dreamy") though I have not been able to return the SAME feelings through anf through. She shows ALOT of genuine character and love. Things went sour MANY times, Stacy was 95% the cause. We broke up (during which time Becky "cheated" sexually on me) and then tried soothing things out... Going through thick and thin, back and forth it happened that LESS than a month ago I met a girl over the internet (Tina) by common intrest, costuming... *She live in New York STATE USA and I am in Manitoba, Canada* Sending photos and related email topics I also received her website address... Talkignt o her MORE AND MORE and also through the exchange of photos I have found myself more and mroe attracted to her and not only pysically of course (I have NOT even met her in person) She has MANY passions and uncountable skills. She is SMART and witty. Me and Becky... I ahve NOT been able to fall in love with her, despite 9 months of trying and the AMAZING person she is. There have been to many single instances of mistrust and as well the age gap and maturity. We have recently broken up... She is doing BETTER than I previously thought and I am THANKFUL... She has a STRONG need to be around me though, example would be talkign on the PHONE tonight for a good hour and a half... I JUST didn;t love her and there was a lack of respect, ot only for her but also for ALL the effort that she put in. The big AND small things which added up. I did NOT want to keep her held down nor do I wish TO BE held down (by her at least). There IS more, but that is the short of that story. Tina knows that I find her attractive, and has said the same about me through emails and also viewing the pictures I sent. I have tapes and sent a TONNE of Anime for her and as well I have taped (and MUST finsih) 15 hours of music (Music that MOVES my soul!!!) for her, ALNONG with a 3rd surpirse... a HAND MADE lightasber built by me. I was un-employed for 5 months (as my University job was only term and I didn;t get hired) I JUST started another job in wedlign PRODUCTION and I'll DIE if I have to work this for the rest of my life... Which is ANOTHER problem. I am UN-SURE what i want to do for a "career", but currently I MUST pay off my debt for my car and bills before I can even THINK about returning to school... I am taking an apptitude test SOON! I HAVE called and talked to Tina over the phone once. I am (as I said) finding myself more and more attracted to her and even fallign in love... I think i may be moving TOO fast but it feels good!? I have talked to her about how I feel (VERY VERY vaugely) but how am I to relate this WITHOUT screwing it up!? This is the MOST interestign time / battel of my LIFE... I wish NOT to make this post MUCH longer LEAST it be ignored ANYONE can email at: email removed for FULL story details... OR PM me PLEASE... The questiosn ARE: 1. HOW to go about getting over Stacy? 2. How and WHAT should I say to Tina? 3. Career? 4. IF I do have the HONOR of receiving Tina's realtionship HOW do I hold it together vIA the 24 hour drive distance? PLEASE PLEASE HELP!!! Matt

Geee, I suppose everyone has to think "hypethetically" for everyone else... I think you have ALOT to talk about (with your boyfriend). I guess the ONE realization is that YES falling in love and being a ABSOLUTE partner happens, but be careful NOT to put your eggs in ONE basket... I did that with MY first and only love... it was HORRIBLE when she ended it... via these posts: * I have had BAD anxiety before, do you suffer from this? Have you had it before? It is TUFF to know when a bridge has been crossed, and feelings of HURT and LOVE will only cloud a proper descision. Though I think it is VERY common, as you are NOT ALONE (not to be cheesy)... I think you have to decide that, to KNOW if this is something that WILL be repeated (in which case he is NOT worht it at ALL, no matter what!) or if he DOES carry a geniune *love* for you and REALLY screwed up... Matt

It has NOW been 7 1/2 months since we broke up... Her Birthday was NOT to long ago and it brought up a WHOLE LOT of *LOVE* and HURT cause I KNOW she is with someone else... I have been dating someone too, for JUST over 3 months, but we broke up and got back together a FEW times. It is SUPER complicated... The severity of the situation is BAD, I am CRYING OUT FOR HELP!!! I have NOT heard from her through email or ANYTHING since early November, and I look for her EVERYWHERE. I have been TRYING to sleep withOUT my sleeping medications... (one is for sleeping and cuases nightmares, the second is a ANTI-nightmare med)It has NOT been going well I am lacking sleep and getting even SICKER! I dreamt about her last night, and met her boyfriend. Only to wake, go BACK to bed for 1 1/2 hours wake up and *CRY* as I getting ready for work, which is where I am at as I WRITE this... I MISS and LOVE her!? What am I to do? Email / Call her, I'd probally cry which would upset her... My current GF? I suppose I am JUST over emotional, I have had axiety attacks and the works through out my life... She is VERY kind, though younger... My ex left me simply put because she couldn't handle my depression AND she wanted to drink and smoke up. (which is ODD cause she has been through depression) I suspect also that she was attracted to someone else even BEFORE we broke up... I LOVE this women STILL, and she TOLD me she loved me, ONLY to stare me COLD int he face and say; "I THOUGHT I loved you..." There is MUCH more to this, but I KNOW people don't like to read and respond to LONG posts, so I'll leave it at that... Please, PLEASE respond. Post, email me, which ever...

Listen guys, you are NOT abnormal... I went through the SAME THING... I was 250 LBS, and had Male Breats... The medical term is: Gynecomastia BASICALLY, I got MOTIVATED to loose a WHOLE bunch of weight, and I wanted to be RIPPED like Bruce Lee... I was ALL Natural AND Vegitarian (STILL), and weighed 135 LBS! The loose skin thought FROM the Breasts remained, and in the ABS too. I became BULEMIC, and there was NOTHING I PERSONALLY could do... EVENTUALLY I saw a surgian (VERY NICE GUY) and it was ALOT cheaper than expected... My parents helped me out and I am no longer Bulemic, wasn't for about 5 months PRIOR to surgery... I am NOW 165-170 LBS and FEEL GREAT! I have RIPPED ABS and I am ALL natural, NO STERIODS OR THERMOGENICS!!! NEVER TOOK THEM EVER... I COMPLETEY undertsnad your pain, SEARCH the internet on the procedure, and TRY and find a surgian! It'll make ALL the difference!!! If you ARE a ANABOLIC user, STOP! If not, OR either way, each right, get physical, TAKE CONTROL and see a Doc! It worked for me, and IF you wish to email me PERSONALLY you may do so! Cool!? Matt

I am 23, and GAVE the WOMEN I LOVED my virginity, something I SWORE I'd NEVER do before marriage... I STILL OVE THIS WOMEN with ALL MY HEART, wanna know what? She is with someone else now... You know how DEPRESSED I feel? Near DEATH and I NEED help! Don't be a GOOF, LOSING YOUR VIGINITY IS OVER RATED and does NOT make you a MAN DAMNIT!!! Keeping it DOES!!! Matt

Hey! Be yourself, ALWAYS! act casual, and I KNOW it's TUFF! But asking if she would go is a GREAT place to start!? Good luck Guy... TAKE IT SLOW, other wise you get STUNG! M

It is SUPER tuff, where to start... I NEED HELP! It has been over for 2 and half (coming on 3 months) with my ex. I FELL in LOVE with her, but I was depressed and tired. There is SO MUCH to this situation that I cannot finish. The details ARE that she found herself NOT LVING me ENOUGH and CARING enough to see me through this time in my life and decided to END our relationship... I LOVED HER SO MUCH I didn't want to see her go! We have JUST recently started emailing stuff back and forth, SHE'D LIKE to be friends, but NOTHING MORE. She has ALREADY MOVED ON to ANOTHER BOYFRIEND and it is cutting my heart out... I helped her find Christ, and I just REALLY HOPE that is ENOUGH to say that was purpose through God... But I CANNOT tell you ALL how much I have cried and HOW REALLY SERIOUS this situation is... PLEASE COMMENT! Matt