NickA449

You're probably depressed right now-we all go through depression every once in a while, but serious clinical depression (when you should go see a doctor) lasts for a long time. You're going through a hard time right now and are unhappy-love is so hard to get over because you invest so much of yourself in another person-your feelings, thoughts, emotions, friendship, and when that's over it IS depressing-that's just part of love. If you didn't know how it felt to be depressed about a break-up then the love you have during a relationship wouldn't be the same. We have to have ups and downs in life b/c life would suck a lot if it was always the same. The only thing that will help you now is time...time will heal your wound and then you will meet someone else and this will all be a distant memory-TRUST ME...

I've mostly been the dumpee, but recently I have been more of the dumper. I guess you do feel a sense of loss, but you rationalize that it is for the better because things weren't going the right way. Sometimes there just isn't that spark anymore...and in that case I guess I have just felt better that it was over-kind of a sense of doing the right thing for both. The circumstances are always different, but I think that if you have ever been in a long term relationship you will always have a special connection with that person and always have a sense of love in your heart because of all the happy times you had with that person. I guess guilt can also be associated with it-I have never like to break up with my girlfriends because I don't want to cause them pain, but I guess you have to realize that sometimes pain now is better than making a mistake and having that pain come back 10 fold! Regardless, either being the dumpee or the dumper I don't think it's easy-each person has emotions running wild...I guess I have been hurt a lot by being dumped, so now I tend to be a lot more untrusting and afraid of commitment. Something I need to work on...good luck

I know you are lonely, but in my experience sometimes you have to stop and realize what you have. You are single-you don't have any one around to report to, worry about, get mad at when he wants to go out with his friends. I have realized that you just have to look at each situation with optimisism and live life to the fullest-you'll find someone else when the time is right! All things have a way of working themselves out. You probably need more time to get over your ex too! I know it took me a very long time to get over my last ex. I thought I was over her, but it took me over a year to get over it (and I was dating someone else, so that caused a few problems!). Best of luck-a new guy will come along soon!

No, no, and no! Once you have sex whether it's a "quickie" or long and passionate, you are no longer a virgin!

You broke up with him because of his brother? Why? Since you broke up with him, do you think he'll take you back? What was the deal with his brother? You will need to talk to him, but I have learned that usually breaking up once is all you need and it's time to move on. There are always issues that come about when people break up...your emotions are clouding your judgement. Will his brother be out of the picture for good? Sounds like you're a bit confused-you probably should wait to talk to him though. I know seeing him places probably doesn't help at all! I've been in that position and it's torture. I don't really know what else to say. Just think about things and wait until his brother leaves.

He kissed another girl...not good...but I think that you could work through it if he said he was sorry and would never do it again. There are a lot worse things to do than just kissing another girl. The fact that it was a friend of yours is more of a concern-what kind of friend is this? I think you should be mad at both. This is just not a good situation. You need to talk to your friend and she what the deal is, then you need to make a decision on if you will forgive your boyfriend or not. Personally, I feel everyone deserves a second chance; it's the third, fourth, fifth, etc. that gets to be wrong.

Okay, maybe I only date an 8 (LOL), but I do date a very attractive girl-I know she looks at other guys and thinks they are more attractive than me, but I look at other girls as well, but we don't act out and go after these people. Just because someone is attractive doesn't make them think you are ugly-beauty is a state of mind...I'm sure my girlfriend could go out there and meet some guys that are more attractive, but I don't worry about that because I can only worry about us and not about when she's not with me sometimes and sees another guy. Relationships take a long time to build and seeing a stranger in the mall that is more attractive than her doesn't make me go over to this girl and ask her out! Not sure if this make sense, but I guess as you say it is a trust issue...just enjoy your time with her and if it's true love you'll have nothing to worry about!

Who knows with girls...she may be being friendly or she may be attracted to you. I had an experience like that a few years back-I thought a girl was attracted to me because I got some signs like you are, turns out I kind of moved a little fast and things never materialized. Be friendly to her, talk to her, but don't think of it as being anything more than friendly until you get more of a sign from her and when you get to know her a bit better. Just take it slow...

In my opinion, I think you should move on. Staying friends with someone right after you break up is very hard to do because someone is always hurt and someone always wants the other person back (unless the break-up was mutual, but that's not in your case). Breaking up is painful no matter what, but there are plenty of other fish in the sea. I know that's easy for me to say, but trust me, you should really try and distance yourself from her as much as possible. Someday down the road, you may or may not decide to stay friends with her, but most likely eventually you will probably lose contact with her. Your relationship with her did not work out, but others in the future will. Remember the good times and try your best to move on-keep busy and try not to think about her and in time all will be okay. That's my advice.

It sounds like she still cares for you-if she still has a pic of you up and you are meeting for drinks than the feeling must be mutual that you are both still interested. I can't get past that she broke up with you because you didn't have a job-to me that should be a time to support you-you are the same person regardless if you are employed or not! It just sounds like she is giving you the right signals. I would just try and have small talk during your drink and see how it goes-if it goes well, ask if she wants to go out again! Take it from there and good luck!

unfortunately, she lives too far away for me to go tell her in the next week. I have the predicament now of trying to tell her on the phone before she is supposed to come-which is so impersonal and wrong...if only I had more time.

I am a 23 year old guy-not too far out of college-and have been dating a great girl on and off for about 2 1/2 years now. We haven't lived in the same city for about a year now, but she is moving here in a week. I went to a wedding last weekend (without her) and ended up getting really drunk and the next thing I know I was hooking up with another woman (who knew I had a girlfriend I might add). I know this was my fault, but this girl totally seduced me and I have a feeling has wanted this for awhile. The next day and ever since I have felt horrible-physically ill and have had sleepless nights. I love my girlfriend and now have no idea what to do. I haven't told her yet because I think we should talk about it when she gets here, but she will be staying with me while she looks for a job here. This is the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life-I have never been the cheating kind. Although the likelyhood of her finding out about this one night thing (because that is all it was) is slim, I believe she should know. I am not a bad person, I just made a really bad decision. I have had friends tell me both that I should tell her and also ones who have said that maybe I shouldn't. I don't want to be dishonest, but I really do love this girl.