Capricorn3

Sounds like he's an extrovert and you're introvert. Incompatible comes to mind. He invited you to join him with his friends but you say you are not comfortable in these situations. That in itself will always be a problem because it will restrict the entire relationship as you'll both be living separate lives in a sense. If you two can't even enjoy an outing together with friends because you feel uncomfortable then I don't see this relationship ever working.

It sounds pretty bad. Sorry you're going through this. One question: Is there a reason why she doesn't work? From the outside looking in, it seems like she's a mooch living a lazy comfortable life and contributing nothing. Like a leech. She needs to get her act together and make an effort at the very least.

Do you take any medication for the anxiety?

Basically you have been dating since you were 14 years old. I can't help but get the impression that she has outgrown the relationship but hasn't got the guts to call it quits. I could be wrong of course, but to me that's how it looks. Maybe time for you to have a talk and ask her how she really feels about the relationship, because right now, it looks like she has one foot out of the door already.

Going by his behaviour it doesn't sound like they have "split up". OP, right now you are just a side piece, a little bit of fluff to boost his ego. It's pretty obvious what you should do.

And even worse, he is repulsed by her to the point he doesn't even want to be intimate with her and lusting after other attractive women and in his past relationships. Horrendous.

Sadly this is yet another case (we see more and more of this almost on a daily basis) where people are in a dysfunctional relationship where the writing has been on the wall for years and yet the OP continues to choose to stay. They ask for help/advice for years, get huge responses with very helpful and constructive advice, yet will find every excuse in the book as to why they won't or can't leave. It all boils down to 'can't means don't want to'. And then in the same breath keep saying "I don't know what to do". OP, you've posted about this same guy in 2018 and even then the advice was you need to leave. Yet here you are, still with him. You say you don't know how to cope, you now have depression, are seeing a therapist, you are exhausted by it all ....BUT you insist on staying. OP, all of that is on you. You had the choice to leave in 2018 but didn't. As you can see nothing has changed and it's even worse....BUT, you still stay. Again, that's on you. At this point the only one who can help you, is YOU. Two choices: 1) Stay with him and be miserable, depressed and exhausted by it all and have the life sucked out of you and live a life of therapy, OR 2) Leave and use the time to work on yourself so that you can be in a mentally healthier place for a future relationship. Build a decent wholesome life for yourself, hold your head up high, get your self-respect back. Choice is yours.

No. Absolutely no. Seriously dude, reverse the above to HER saying she finds you unattractive, your physical flaws, your large facial features and being repulsed by YOU. Would you really believe this can be solved? Stop using her for your own selfish reasons just because you're too much of a coward to leave the relationship. This says a lot more about you, than her. No, you can't make this work. Man-up and grow a set by doing the right thing and leave.

OP, if I may be blunt, this all comes back to you. YOU only have yourself to blame in all this. YOU keep asking "Please help!!". You get tons and tons of really good, constructive advice, yet you simply carry on. Members have given a lot of their time to respond to your calls of "Please help!!!", but you don't really "listen" or take any of it on board. YOU make excuse, after excuse, after excuse. YOU choose to stay in this toxic and dysfunctional environment. It has become obvious you really have no intention at all of dumping this guy. You won't dump him because you simply don't want to. You are both toxic to each other. Totally incompatible. Maybe it's time to really focus on what this toxic/dysfunctional environment is doing to your child. He seems to be an after-thought in all of this. How about making your son your main focus right now and doing what is right for your child. ?? YOU are responsible for his welfare, his wellbeing, his safe environment away from abusive toxic behaviour in the home etc. Right now what he is learning from YOU is that all of what he sees and hears and witnesses, is perfectly normal behaviour. Please, put your child before this loser. He deserves more from you and you owe it to him. Sorry if this comes across as harsh - it is not my intention, but choosing to remain with this loser clown, well that's on YOU. Your child deserves better.

You clearly haven't read all the past threads about their toxic history.

Seriously, after only 4 short months he's showing you another side of him. I would cut my losses rather than invest more time into something which is just not working.

Thread has run its course.

I second this post in its entirety.

^ I think this entire post nailed it. You can't show how you care because you really don't, or simply can't be bothered. This is just who you are. A part of your general make-up. Time to really look within and get some professional help to get to the bottom of where all this behaviour is coming from.

Easy solution here: So sick of him? LEAVE. Yes, it is as simple as that. No-one is holding a gun to your head forcing you to stay. That's on you.

^ All of this. I had to specifically log in just to rep this post. It's worth repeating. Totally nailed it. I don't understand how people who do this can even sleep at night. Mind Blowing.

OP, if I may ask, how old are you?

^ I second this entire post. It' really time you look within.

If the room mate is the only way you have of ever contacting him, then that's what you have to do. Up to you.

Keep reminding yourself that all this jealousy and anxiety will only end in self-fulfilling prophecy in that you WILL lose him. I agree with all the above post who recommend therapy.

Multiple accounts not allowed.

^ Yep! That's me too, lol.

He says he "deserves yes as an answer"? He's never even dated you! (But, I am assuming this would be a cultural thing where arranged marriages are the norm). If you're already in a relationship then you did the right thing by rejecting him. You also mention there are many differences between you. I would be very wary of this.

Under review.

I was going to ask the same questions. It would be helpful if you could answer these questions to give us a better understanding of what's going on.