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From childhood I have doubt in my gender , at first I thought it's temporary , I have always treated like a boy thanks to my dad , I won't blame him but he was the reason I have a question mark infront of my gender , forcing me to address my gender as a boy and think like a boy , I think he wanted me to be more confident but it just made things worse Now I am stuck in between being a girl and a boy , I have no interest in girly things and act like a girl ,at first I thought I am just a Tom boy but this desire of changing my gender end me up in several depressing episodes , I recently cut my hair and I liked it . But here is the thing I like boys ! If I am a boy am I gay,now I just adresse myself as gender fluid but no desire of being girl , and my pronounce are he/her . Am I gay or straight What to do next 😞💔
Hey everyone! So about a month or so ago I went to a Meetup.com singles event. This guy clearly seemed into me because he kept talking to me and gave me his business card. He's originally from Asia but he came to Australia with his family when he was only ten years old. I'd mentioned to him it was my Birthday in a few days. I considered messaging him myself but around my Birthday he messaged me through Meetup and said: "Happy Birthday!" I was a bit unsure whether I'm attracted to his face but I'm not a shallow person hardly at all and the most important thing for me is who someone is on the inside. The week after we went on a date to a bar/restaurant and he was insisting he pay for everything because it's my Birthday. I was trying not to let him do that because he was trying to pay for an entree, main, a few wines and a cocktail for me, which was a lot of money. I managed to order only one round of drinks for us because he wouldn't let me pay for anything. Age wise he's 47 and I'm 36. I found that a lot of his conversation seemed to be talking about his financial successes and how he's travelled overseas a lot and things like that. He said he owns an apartment in the city, one in inner city suburbs and one interstate. He also said he used to have three cars, one a BMW. But he said during COVID he was paying too much for all the taxes on them and so on, and he sold two of his apartments and two cars. He also said he owns three businesses and he's the co- owner of one of them. And that in the past he used to be a CEO of a big company. He also was talking about how he's really ready to settle down and have kids. He said he didn't start wanting kids until he was 35 and after that he just didn't seem to have good timing with women he dated or didn't find the right women. Another thing he said was that I don't have to worry that he's just after sex or will try to get sex straight away. He said he's looking for a relationship and he's not like other guys and wouldn't have sex outside of a relationship. Anyway so we talked in the bar for about 3-4 hours and then he dropped me off home in his Uber. He didn't try to kiss me or anything. After that he was messaging me eagerly and we organised another dinner date. Due to COVID spreading in my city though we suddenly went into a very strict five day lockdown. The rules were that you could only meet someone for a walk outside who lives within 5 km of you. And the only person who could come to your place was your intimate partner. So this guy said do I want to come over to his place and just have a barbecue or take away in his backyard and watch movies? I said sorry but I can't because nobody is allowed to come over. I said let's just wait the five days and after that we can go on more dates. He said still come over and if anyone asks just say we are partners. I said sorry but I don't want to get a fine ($1600) and can't we just wait five days and then meet? He said he was worried the lockdown would last longer and wanted me to come. I said let's just wait and see what happens after five days. Anyway the lockdown did stop after five days and we went out for dinner. It was basically the same thing where his conversation centred on his financial successes and how much he wants to have kids and settle down with someone, etc. He said because his family came from a poor Asian country and were poor even in Australia at first, he couldn't have things he wanted much as a child and so on. So he wanted to be financially successful and he worked really hard and put everything into his study and his career. I did find it a little odd what he said because he said his Mum was a doctor in the past and father had some high up job too. He asked me what are my goals in life, which I knew was implying do I want kids. I actually do really want kids and marriage so I said yes I really want those things too and to have a family. He also did say again, don't worry, I don't expect sex straight away and I want a relationship and to get to know you first. So basically the conversation was all the same as the first date and I did talk about myself too, but he wasn't really asking many questions about me or my life. I ordered a main meal and 4 glasses of wine and he insisted he pay for it and didn't let me pay. He was messaging me a lot afterwards and showing photos of his dog who is absolutely adorable. Then on the third date I came over to his place and we ordered Uber Eats and watched a movie. I said this time I'm ordering the takeaway but he didn't let me do it and paid. His puppy was the sweetest and most affectionate little thing. The puppy absolutely loved me and wanted to cuddle non stop, and I adored it too. And the guy could see how much I love the dog and said: "He's yours too babe, it's our dog". The thing was we started kissing and he said, I'm so horny and began fondling me a lot and touching my breasts and stuff. I said oh sorry, I didn't think you wanted to have sex yet so I wasn't prepared and didn't clean up and shave "down there". He said he hadn't planned on it exactly but he just thought I was so hot and sexy and he was so turned on. I said sorry I'm not ready for it tonight. So he didn't make me touch him or anything and didn't take his or my clothes off. But as we watched the movie he fondled me constantly and slid his hands into my bra and touched and sucked my breasts. I actually didn't even have an issue if he wanted to have sex or do sexual stuff because we'd known each other for a month and it was the third date. I just found it weird how he'd been making a big point on the previous dates that he's not like other guys and doesn't want sex unless he's in a relationship. Then as soon as I came over he began trying to have sex. Which kind of looked like what he'd been saying wasn't true. Also, yes you guessed it, he kept talking about his financial success again and that he wants to be a Dad so much. He said he's not working as much at the moment in his businesses but he can work more and make more money if he had kids and give his kids everything they want. And he said, "I think I can be a really good Dad because I'm so caring and I love taking care of my dog". He also kept saying things like: "I think you're really amazing babe, I like you so much, I just can't believe it. I can't believe you came over and you wanna be with me." I said why can't he believe it and why am I so amazing, I'm just an average person. And he said: "I just can see you're so nice and sweet and genuine and you're beautiful and I really want to be with a kind person". The thing is, I do get this a lot, that I'm a nice and kind person. Some people literally used the term "gentle soul". Yes I am nice and I love helping people. Regarding my appearance, yes I am pretty but I'm overweight (not hugely) and I have some acne. I don't think I look like a model. This guy kept saying many times I'm so amazing and he just can't believe it. Anyway then I went home and the next day he texted me in the later evening. I went to work in the morning and didn't reply yet and at 2 p.m. the next day he double texted me again. I'm actually being harassed by my mentally unstable ex from 1.5 years ago who is a drug addict. I had to go to the police about it last night but they couldn't do anything and advised me to go to court the next day to get a restraining order. So today I'm going to court. So I told him this and he was like "I'm here for you babe, I can come with you if you want." But I said my Mum will go with me. So I'm not really sure what to think of all this to be honest. I'm finding all this behaviour too full-on because every date he has been talking about how much he wants to be a Dad and all this but we hardly knew each other. And he's saying I'm so amazing and I know I'm nice and pretty, but he hasn't been asking me much about myself so does he actually really know me as a person? Also I wasn't sure why he's boasting about his finances all the time. I also began to wonder whether he's exaggerating because he said he's quite well off, but his apartment is a tiny one bedroom apartment and very average. And he's renting that one, he doesn't own it. I also wasn't sure whether in some Asian countries it's normal for men to act like this because they have strong gender roles and a man is meant to seem very appealing to women if he's financially secure. A few months ago I went on a date with a man from India and he was acting kind of the same. He was 40 and on the first date he immediately began to say how much he and his family want him to marry and have kids. We spoke for two hours and he basically grilled me like a job interview about all this stuff, trying to see if I match to be his wife. He also did say he's got a good job, owns a nice apartment and has a BMW car. He didn't actually say anything else or ask me anything about me or my life in general. I thought he was really full-on and just wanted a place filler wife and never saw him again. What are everyone's thoughts on this?