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Tanzi

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Everything posted by Tanzi

  1. Tanzi
    No-one has the right to open anyone else’s parcels/packages/letters/whatever without permission. It’s as simple as that. It’s an invasion of privacy and nothing to do with materialism. The argument is being twisted into something else there. It’s not so much about the gift (though evidently they messed with that too), it’s about respecting someone else’s privacy. It was a disrespectful thing to do.
  2. Tanzi
    My situation is the same. I was married for 12 years. When me and my ex-husband broke up, I had three children with me full-time. Thirteen years later, my youngest is still at home. My middle daughter is at uni so she is home on and off. I have been in relationships during this time but I both love and crave my own space. I’m not sure I could live with anyone full time (adult that is). Like boltnrun says, it’s a different situation though.
  3. Tanzi
    {{Hugs}} xxx
  4. Tanzi
    Hey Victoria. Sorry to hear you're not feeling so well today. I suffer from migraines too but not often, not like I once used too, and thankfully they aren't too bad. Probably on the scale you mention above. I can also have "zigzags" in my eyes that affect my vision and I have been known to have had double vision before .... but that hasn't happened in a long time. I hope you feel better soon.
  5. Tanzi
    A very valid point but I guess all the time people are still posting on the thread it is still serving a purpose. I guess not every new person to the thread will read it all but it, nevertheless, is still helping some.
  6. Tanzi
    I totally understand what you are saying - and agree to some extent - but I think we all need a little bit of hope sometimes, especially in the beginning. It is what sees us through our darkest days. Eventually, as we start moving on, we start letting go of that hope naturally. Having said that not all hope and success stories need to be about reconcilliation. I found eNA after a previous relationship ended and, like most people on this forum, I was devastated. All I wanted was my ex back and I searched for stories of reconcilliation but all I found was a load of gumf about NC and moving on. I DIDN'T WANT TO MOVE ON. However I became hooked by eNA and after reading many threads and other peoples experiences I gradually started to realise that moving on was something I really had to focus on. It was slow, obviously, but it was nevertheless a road I began to travel. Now I have a new boyfriend with whom I am totally head over heals in love with. My ex still contacts me from time to time. Most recently he said he still sometimes regrets his decision to split but there is no way I would give up my new boyfriend should he ever ask me outright to reconcile. We have a strong and intense relationship and have both admitted that we are in it for the long haul. I am the happiest I have been for as long as I can remember. I may not have got back with my ex but my story certainly is a success to me.
  7. Tanzi
    I think Fudgie is thinking about herself to a degree. She has chosen her path because that is what she wants to do. She loves her boyfriend regardless of the age difference and has made the choice to be with him whatever the future may bring. Anyway there is a lot of speculation here about the future and nursing homes but I think that is way too far into the future to be focussing too much attention on ... and not everyone ends up in a nursing home anyway. Not only that but anything can happen before that time comes. After having been married, divorced, and now in a relationship with a much younger man the one thing I have learnt is to expect the unexpected. Life takes many twists and turns and no matter how much we plan on following a certain path the unexpected happens and we find ourselves following a different path. Of course we can't help but look into the future, I do the same myself (as my threads suggest) but, for the most part, I am trying to live for now and not worry too much about the future as not any one of us can predict what the future has in store for us ... but then again I would say that, as being 15 years older than my boyfriend I am the one who is more likely to end up in a nursing home first!
  8. Tanzi
    A very shallow comment often passed by people who lead very shallow lives. No-one can pass such a judgement on two adults who have done nothing wrong but fall in love.
  9. Tanzi
    Same here. Failed miserably. Will start again tomorrow!!
  10. Tanzi
    Day 0 [should be 38] Well what can I say I sent him a silly off-line IM. I had no reason to this time. Last week he had sent me an IM just saying "hello" but I didn't see it till 4 hours later by which time he was offline so I sent an off-line message back saying "hi, how r u?" so he knew that I wasn't purposely ignoring him (I want him back so what do you do when they make contact?) Anyway I haven't heard anything back and its been on my mind constantly so today I sent another off-line message stupidly checking that he had got the other one, (huh like hes not going to) but then I went into detail why I had had to end our "friendship", how it was the hardest thing I have ever done and then, to top it off, to tell him I still missed him loads ..... yikes, what did I do that for??? Its done. I know I am going to hurt and regret it deeply when I don't get anything back. I hate him for making me think of him when I had got so far but I hate myself more for falling for his "whatever it was"? I am going straight back into NC.
  11. Tanzi
    Day 32 Or should that be Day 1 seeing as NC was broken yesterday. However it wasn't me that made contact, well not at first so technically I didn't break it. And to be honest the contact was very minor. He must have seen me on line on yahoo (i blocked and deleted him from MSN and deleted him from yahoo but obviously forgot to block him aswell). All I got was a "hello" but it was some 4 hours before I saw it and he was off-line by then but I still sent a "hi, how you?" back. That was late last night. I am still shocked that he bothered to make any contact at all. We've done the friends thing for 8 months and it was that that I was putting an end to as I couldn't cope with it anymore. Ending the relationship was his doing and after 31 days NC I was getting used to the idea that I was never going to see or hear from him again. Don't get me wrong, it still hurt like hell but I was determined to see this through. Now I feel I've hurtled straight back again. Did I do the right thing by opening up a means of communication between us? Why on earth did I do it? Ho hum ... here we go again!
  12. Tanzi
    Well, if truth be told a lot of us must would admit to starting out on NC with the hope that our ex's will want us back but the further we journey into NC the more we come to realise that it is about us and moving on without them. As to when we accept this depends on the individual but I am sure we all get there eventually! I think I am almost there!!
  13. Tanzi
    Thanks Cat I appreciate your support
  14. Tanzi
    Back atcha TC
  15. Tanzi
    Day 30 I wished that I could rejoice over my 30 days but I don't much feel like it. I feel like I am going backwards again. Like it is just sinking in that this is real ... that I will never see or hear from him again and it is hurting. What are we meant to feel at 30 days? Spurred on by our success to do another 30? Heres to the next 30 I guess. I hope I feel better by then that I do right now.
  16. Tanzi
    We forget a lot of times and I do too. I haven't called or text this time but this is out of fear of rejection more than anything. I still miss him like mad but I know I am doing this for the right reason ... for me and that is something I have to constantly remind myself, but, hell, this is hard sometimes isn't it?
  17. Tanzi
  18. Tanzi
    We all relapse, don't let it bother you. Just pick yourself up and move on again ... good luck!!
  19. Tanzi
    Day 29 Almost there. I would have thought I would be feeling a bit better at this stage. I guess I am to the extent that he has less of a monopoly on my mind so the pain is less frequent. But when the pain comes it can still hurt as much.
  20. Tanzi
    Good for you. I can't wait to get there
  21. Tanzi
    Hi Cat I have only just read your thread - must have just missed it yestereday. Hope you are feeling better today. I think you did the right thing by not sending the email. Congrats on getting to 30 days. Are you sticking with this thread? I think I will be. Dont think I'm quite "there" yet. Day 25 for me and I'm feeling better that I have in the last few days. I think I feel more positive abut the future again.
  22. Tanzi
    Good for you!!! It was how I got over the break-up of my marriage. OK, so it didn't work out and it was the reason I found eNA ... LOL ... but nevertheless it still worked in its way!! Day 24 ... I think I'm glad to say that I am having a better day than yesterday although not perfect but then I don't expect it to be.
  23. Tanzi
    Day 23 for me also and I am having a bad one too. I woke up so damn tired of it all this morning and I knew I was in for a bad day. We can get through it tho, we WILL get through it!!
  24. Tanzi
    Thats brilliant ScorpiGal. Can't wait till I get to day 55!!
  25. Tanzi
    Day 22 Same as day 21 and day 20 ...... I guess with each passing day I can feel myself slowing getting there.
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