Tanzi
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Everything posted by Tanzi
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Hee hee, yes I like that!
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I'm sure she will think of you. I wonder the same thing and I'm sure my ex must think of me. We haven't just disappeared out of their memories. But like you say we shouldn't let it bother us. Sorry you're not feeling so great this morning. I was driving in my car earlier and it just hit me all of a sudden. I've mostly been OK today. Its strange how it can still knock us down at times but we are strong, we can get back up again.
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Thankyou imjgh. I think you are right about crossing that bridge when I come to it ... in my case I don't think there is a bridge to cross so I really shouldn't be worrying about it. Hope you have a great day. Heres to another day's NC!!
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Oh dear! This is the bit where I get confused as to how NC should be handled. Its not always about us not contacting them is it? We can try our damned hardest but then what can we do if they contact us? If my ex contacted me and depending on what he said I may want to contact him back. I may be doing NC but I don't want to appear rude or immature. I think part of moving on is to be able to handle the situation with maturity and not let your emotions take over. All I'm worried about is if he contacts me and having to start from day 1 again!! (Not that I'm expecting him to contact me so I'm not entirely sure what I'm stressing about!!) Day 21 - a 3 whole weeks I'm feeling better by the day - I think
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Welcome on board firefighter. You will find lots of support and much inspiration on here!!
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Plus, if I didn't have ENA I would probably be cyber stalking my ex!!
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Believe me you are not the only one and I agree, I have found such strength and inspiration from ENA too. I am so glad I found it and everyone on it!!
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You can do it, you will do it and you will come out a much better person for it. Hang on in there!!
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Hi imjgh, thank you, I will. I know I keep saying this but the support here on ENA has been amazing and I am sure it is what is carrying me through these difficult times. Day 20 I was sad this morning, as I am every morning. He is still constantly on my mind but the tears are drying up and as the day goes on I begin to feel better. Certain reminders of him, be it a song or my 3 year old talking about him, can still feel like a knife through my heart but I think I get over these feelings quicker. I am laughing with my children again. By the time I go to bed I am feeling positive about the future and I am sleeping well. They may be small steps but I am nevertheless moving forward.
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Ekips and imjgh: Thank you for your words. Its amazing isn't it ... how much of our time they still monopolise. Love is so unpredictable but I dont see why it has to be? There is no logic in love and I'm finding it hard to make sense of it all. I know I will get through this tho and so will everyone one else on here. It will be touch but, hey, we have ENA - it has helped me heaps. And I really do believe that everything happens for a reason. We just got to keep on moving forwards.
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Day 19 I am feeling numb. In the first few days I had a mix of emotions that, overall, balanced my feelings out for me. But right now I do not know how I feel. I still think of him everyday. I still have a sense of loss. I still miss him. But ... the sadness? ... I can't explain it, its like I know its there but I can't feel it. I think I am beginning to hit an emotional wall where I can't feel anything and I don't think thats a good thing because I don't feel happy either. I feel emotionally weary. I wont back down this time but this is because I am scared of what I might find out if I get in contact with him. I am sure that I would be more hurt if I did so its better for me this way. The fact of the matter is I am too scared to get in touch with him which I guess is a good thing.
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But it will be.
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Thank you, I know you are right. I have no doubt that I am doing the right thing and I know I will carry it through this time. It is still painful tho.
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Day 17 I actually woke up and didn't feel like I have other mornings. I didn't feel great but I didn't feel as bad as others. I am having a "cat wobble" right now tho. It just suddenly hit me that this is for real - I am never going to see him again. I am never going to hear his voice again. He is never going to be there for me with his advice and strength when I've had a hard day with the girls. He was my strength, my sanity, my rock and now he has gone. He doesn't want me and it is hurting.
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She can only respect you for the time and space you are giving her. But, yes, you do deserve an answer at some point. Sometimes the not knowing is worse than the knowing. Even if the answer isn't the one you want to hear at least you have closure and can't start to heal. As to what she will do ... I just don' know ... it doesn't sound like she really knows ... it depends on how strong a hold her family have over her or how obligated she feels towards her family.
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I guess thats why she needs time and space - so she can think clearly. It never ceases to amaze me how much power family hold over someone's destiny. My parent's have always been of the opinion that if I am happy, they are happy but if anything goes wrong, if I ever need them, they are there for me. I really hope it works out for you.
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You and me both! I am on here all the time!! Then maybe she is.
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I feel for you, it must be hard, just waiting to hear but not knowing what you will hear. I am doing a home study course and I should be well into my Assignments by now but I am finding extremely hard to concentrate.
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Day 16 I feel pretty much the same as yesterday - its all a bit boring really. Its like a waiting game - waiting to feel better, waiting for something exciting to happen to happen to turn my life around, waiting for him to get in touch maybe??
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Day 15 I feel good, I feel down, I feel good, I feel down. I cry, I laugh, I cry, I laugh!!! Looking forward to the day when I feel good and am laughing all day long
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Well, wanttobehappy, it sounds like you are happy! It also sounds like you have a lot to look forward and are going to be much better off without him!!
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I guess it doesn't do any harm to be a little bit "mysterious". Much better than being too clingy, needy or predictable. Good luck Day 14 Well its still only 10ish so I guess I can't say much but not feeling too bad so far!! Heading into unchartered territory now. I have never gone longer than 2 weeks without contact.
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Welcome to the Challenge. Can I ask why you would want to include your best friend in that or is that too personal? I only ask because you may need your best friend at a time like this. Not that mine is anywhere in sight at the moment!!! Day 13 Wow. What a day. I came in last night feeling really depressed. I signed onto ENA and wrote a thread venting my feelings. I woke up this morning feeling pretty low but when I signed onto ENA there were so many lovely replies to my thread that it has really lifted my spirits. I am going out for a coffee with a friend this afternoon. Got to keep occupied. I find weekends the hardest - especially when my 3 children are with their dad for the whole weekend.