Tanzi

Day 4 since I last sent a text. Its been two weeks since I last saw him. I'm feeling pretty positive today. In fact I'm feeling feisty today. I am hating him today. How dare he not want me. I keep thinking about the part I played in our messed up relationship and what I did wrong. But I thought today "you know, he aint so perfect". There is a lot about him that is making me question our relationship. He has been on dating sites for almost 10 years searching for women and although he says he really is looking for someone special I can't imagine him giving this "obsession" up. He has hundreds of women on FB that he has trawled the internet for over the last few years. They are all beautiful, stunning women. After having been looking for so long he has become somewhat "fussy". I really don't think he is going to find what he is looking for. I don't think it exists. By his own admission, his standards are very high and whenever he would talk about ex-girlfriends the word "stunning" was always thrown into the sentence (zzzzzzz). When I used to make sarky remarks to this he said that I should take that as a compliment!! Yeah thanks for that!! But now I'm thinking - hang on you aint exactly no Brad Pitt you know, if you do find this perfect woman, why on earth would she want you?! Anyway, if he wants to spend the next 11 years looking for his Angelina Jolie good luck to him. Meanwhile I will move on in the real world. And anyway if I AM stunning then what the hell am I doing with HIM!! (Oooohh I'm on a role). Im off mate - now does anybody know where Brad Pitt is this weekend?

lol I have done this many times before. I keep his number in my knicker drawer!! I do, however, always end up putting the phone number back on my phone when we end up being friends again as I get fed up of having to type out his number every time. This time however I haven't made such a "statement" by deleting his number. I wonder if this is significant in anyway?

The fact that you have feelings for her must make it incredbly hard to stick to NC when she contacts you. You have done extremely well. Why don't you wait until she makes contact again (and it certainly sounds like she will) and then reply instead of you making any initial contact. Its kind of a compromise and you still haven't broken your side of the bargain!! When we go NC we are doing so for our own long term benefits. Surely, responding politely to an ex's text is showing maturity, politeness and respectfulness (in a "they've dumped you but you can still be nice to them" kind of way) which can only work in our favour. Having said that this does happen to be a "No contact challenge" thread so perhaps I am wrong!! Its only Day 3for me and I have been struggling to stay off his Facebook etc sites (am I really 41 years old!??!) I am struggling today. I know I can't make contact and fall back into "what was" but it still hurts like hell.

I think this is the question we all ask ourselves. And one that just confuses the hell out of us. Dont beat yourself up over breaking NC. You have kept to your side of the bargain. To have avoided it would probably have come accross as childish, that you were still angry and showing emotion. In your case it was the right thing to do and your reply was perfect - short and to the point. ps. Pumpkin is adorable!!

Hang on in there.

Day 2 Is it really only day 2?! I am soooooo tempted to check on the dating site that we were both on. I know I will get hurt at new faces he has added and the fact that he has been on there - I mustn't do it. I wont do it.

I'm sorry but your girlfriend is the selfish one. She ends the relationship then accuses you of being selfish for not staying in contact. Excuse me but hasn't she just ENDED the relationship. Therefore ending any rights she thinks she may have over you!! She needs to understand that you are hurting and seeing her just intensifies the pain. You need time to heal. You need to move on but how can you if shes always dragging you backwards. She either wants you in her life or she doesn't. If she doesn't know what she wants then she needs to back off until she sorts her head out. As for Pumpkin, I guess it wouldn't do any harm to ask if you can take him for a walk. I know its breaking NC but then if you were married and had children you would have to have contact.

Fab!! Isn't this what it is all about?

Its still early days yet. Hang on in there. You are being very brave and it isn't easy, I know! I have tried NC several times but I guess until finding this forum I've never taken it seriously. I have now started NC again and am currently only on day 2!! This time, however, I want stick with it. Keep up the good work

Sounds like you are at Day 1 again! I wished I had seen this thread yesterday it may have helped me not to break NC. I broke up with my ex-boyfriend 8 months ago and we have remained "friends" since. We have even been away on holiday together. For my sake now though I have had to end the friendship. All the time I have been hoping that we would get back together. I have tried several times to end it but have failed. Thats why I have decided to join this challenge. I ended the friendship initially 4 days ago. However, yesterday I sent him a text after seeing him disappear on Yahoo when I signed in. How stupid was that really. It makes no sense. I know I have to block and delete him from yahoo and MSN but I don't have the courage. And as for the rule where you can't visit such things as Facebook sites etc - that is a difficult one for me as I have been doing so everyday. Why do we do that? We are just torturing ourselves. However, I haven't yet today - so here goes ... Day 1 I have made no contact with him and have not visited any of his sites (oh God, yes I did - I was showing a friend something ... for a laugh - arrgghhh does that count?). Superdave advise please. I'm absolutely rubbish at this.

I think you should stick with NC. Contacting her now would break all the hard work you have done. Do you really think it is going to make a difference if you send her a message? I don't think it will but I do think it will make a difference if you dont. She is probably expecting to hear from you so I am sure it will have a bigger impact on her if you dont.