hoppy26

why is it after breakups people lean towards email messages to get in contact with one another? my ex leaves me hanging after 3 years.....and then decides shes going to contact me through an email.....??? i find this to be pretty lame. we spent countless nights/days together and she cant even pick up the phone. it seems like a cowardly thing to do in my opinion.

my ex left me high and dry after three years. do you think i really care what she thinks? this isnt a fraction of the stuff she put me through. i have no feelings of revenge, no feelings of love, or loss for her.

wouldnt you be flattered in a similar situation? if you say "no" your a liar.

in defense for myself.......no im not seeking revenge, nor am i seeking a relationship with any of them. i was simply stating that it was funny how her friends seem to be coming on to me. i didnt act anyother way then i normaly do, nor do i feel i am the one doing the seducing. where do you get off saying im seeking revenge??? why dont you read my post alittle better.

see my last post to get the details..."ex's friend coming on to me, it feels great". well...it happened again. only this night it was another one her friends. lol no sex. just a night of cuddling and a few nice kisses. her friends seem to really like me lately........? they all say i deserved better, this that and the other thing. i have had more fun in the last couple weekends. i need it and i deserve it. my confidence is as high as its been since the ex left. saturday night was a jack and jill party.........awesome. i was a dancing machine, a drunk one at that. and i can honestly say(im not a cocky guy....im just experiencing some excitement in my life) that girls were flocking to me. i felt like "the man" that night. anyway, it amazes me that when your single, even friends of your ex wont hesitate. i should also ad that the ex wasnt around either weekend. nor has she been in the last few months when i run into all her friends. thankgod!!!!!

speeking for men accross the world.............we all want a girl who can get alittle freeky behind closed doors. what freeky may mean from one guy to the next may differ. meaning one guy could be referring to freeky as butt sex or another guy freeky may mean dressing up in womans clothes. lol in all seriousness maybe its his way of saying he just wants to try knew things. maybe its his way of saying "lets be open". hope this helps.

to be honest i dont know what happened. she decided she needed a "break". all i got was a bunch of "i dont knows", "im crazy right now", "you deserve better". along with "i want to be with you just not right now" etc, etc, etc. she basically left me hanging with no closure. it was tough. i did the wrong thing of trying to get answers. thats probably what pushed her away for good. in my defense she played with my head for the whole five months after we broke up until the point of zero contact. so after three years of believing the "one" was here to stay she just bailed. she was my bestfriend aswell. but i believe after a situation like this zero contact is best. so anyway.........what i was saying before was that my ex should be a good friend to this other girl. i could care less about a friendship with me. as far as im concerned she blew every oppurtunity to do so. like i also said. im not rushing into anything fast. im 26 and tired of believing the girl im with is the one. i need to try this dating seen thing.lol one more note. the ex was going through all kinds of personal problems when she broke with me. she got kicked out of college for not going. she had no job. she had money problems. she didnt like living with her father and so on. she said she didnt want to drag me down with her. i had just started my own business when she left so the timing was bad in that aspect. ive let all this make my own personal live a living hell. i can say that i have made a 180 over the last 2 months. the 1st 4 were almost unbairable. anyway....ive learned alot from this site. its been a huge part in my "recovery". anymore thoughts?

i wouldnt say they are best friends. they are friends. im not rushing into anything. i need to see what kind of intentions she has first. i will enjoy our time together and take it as it comes. my ex has a knew boyfriend. she has for awhile. she really shouldnt have any say in the situation. as for this other girl.....wouldnt a friend want a friend to be happy? meaning if she wanted to date me shouldnt my ex be happy for her if shes a true friend?

ok.........my ex of three years left me. we have no contact at my request. basically she didnt deserve to have me in her life. its been almost 6 months since the break. heres the problem im having. one of her friends whom ive been running into alot lately has been coming on to me. she has been flocking to me at parties of mutual friends for the last three weekends. im loving it. it really has brought my confidence level up a bit. im finding myself more attracted to her every time we see eachother. saturday night we spent the drunken night together in bed. we both just fell asleep. no physical contact....but i did find us close during the night. it just felt good to have someone by my side in bed again. i wasnt even thinking sex. to be honest i wouldnt have been a good performer in the state i was in. would it be wrong for me to pursue this girl? she is my ex's friend, but some how we seem to becoming pretty close. should my ex have any reason to be upset or bothered like this? i mean shes the one who let me go. should i even worry about my ex's feelings after all she put me through? some of you might say "rebound". im not ready for a relationship. i am over my ex but want my time ive been given to work on me. what do you all think?

im all for people smoking........i smoke. when i said i would argue pot being a gateway drug, i meant it in the form of it is not a gateway drug. get it?

charmed.........if you read my 1st post, you will see that what i said is i would argue highly the pot is not a gateway drug. meaning it is just labeled a gateway drug. maybe had you read it right we wouldnt be having any further discussion.

charmed..........seems that aerosol you were sniffing at 12 has taken its toll on your brain. your idea of a gateway drug(becuase your pot dealer may have something else) is pretty silly. people seek other drugs simply because pot isnt enough.millions of people just smoke, millions of people just drink. i feel it depends on every individuals personality. my personality lead me to do what ive done. obviously yours did to at the age of 12.

heres my $.02. i agree that smoking can put you in "your zone". be it work, problems, hobbies....etc. i would highly argue that pot is a "gate way" drug. yes i started off smoking pot, and yes i also started to use other drugs. not because pot wasnt good enough and i was seeking something better. because my curiosity lead me to try these differant things. for acouple years of my life i was doing whatever me and my friends could get our hands on. today i no longer do those other drugs.....nor does my curiosity want to do and try more drugs. i can say this..........pot has probably kept me off the other stuff.

in my opinion..........does she really deserve an answer? my ex left me after three years. i didnt get any answers from her, so i didnt even explain why we couldnt have any contact. i would simply block her and not take her calls. if she really is interested in why........sje can simply ask.

in my opinion..........unless you can totally trust her again, and totally forget and forgive.....you are waisting your time. she did it once, and may do it again. she has lied to you. do you want live every day wondering if she's telling the truth? i sure wouldnt. love is a tricky thing. it still amazes me how our ex mates can turn on you in a flash. id be carefull with this one. ill tell you what ive been told a million times. there is someone out there that would never think of doing that to you.

hi there. im a guy, 26 in your position. my ex-girlfriend said all the same things. she would write me letters saying she promised she would never let me go, we would marry one day, have the nice house with the white fence...etc, etc, etc. well she dropped me like a bag of bricks after three years. no answers, no emotion. she told me everything i wanted to hear. her actions have proved atherwise. my advice to you is walk away. do not let him play this game with you. it will only delay your recovery, and may even make recovery worse as in my situation. when one person plays another in this way it is a spineless act from nothing more then a coward. please do your best to move on. there are guys out there that would never do this to you.

from experience........"i need a break" is a womens way of trying to say "i dont want to be with you anymore". i got that the same line from my ex after 3 years. in my opinion its a spineless act. if a girl ever tells you she needs a break. let her go. do not look back.

seen as how im going through a situation like this id like to give my 2 cents. my ex has said things and acted in ways that have trully hurt me. even though she has seen that hurt she doesnt think her actions have been out of line. 6 months ago if i did to her what she has pulled with me she would be sitting in my shoes. for whatever reasons it was easier for her to do these things to push me away. ok.....why would i be sitting here miserable for no reason at all? her actions didnt make me happy. some people may do things like this with the intentions of making it easier. she wanted to move on with her life.........why not get me upset, mad, and full of hurt. it would make things easier for her if i wasnt begging her back, and just pissed off. ive tried explaing things to her. why her actions/words have hurt any type of relationship between us at all. still it just doesnt make sense to her. some people just dont get it. they dont understand what lying, decieving, manipulating can do to someones self being. i sit here everyday still picking up the pieces from what she left me with. shes out having the time of her life. im a big believer in "what comes around goes around". her time will come when she will feel every emotion i have felt. i from her actions have become a stronger person. its a tough situation when someone hurts you. its even worse when they just dont understand.

want her back..............no!!!! what i want is for her to realise how she has hurt me. she left me hanging without any real good reason why she left. all she says is "i dont know why...i just freaked out". in the next sentence shellay "i never stopped loving you". in the next sentence shell say something like "i want to be with you just not right now". after that shell say "im crazy right now.....for your own good move on". ok??? my question is..........if you guys/girls were being told things that would believe you to think they wanted to recinddle things.........then they say and do things of the total opposite wouldnt you feel alittle decieved, manipulated and lied to? remember from the start she stated she "just needs a break....dont you think it would be good for us". what is good about a break? it has done nothing but cause alot of hurt and heartache. whats good about her giving herself to another man during this so called break? is this girl playing me for a dumby? i need help. she says she has been upfront with me from the start. is telling someone you need a break and then acouple months later she has a boyfriend being upfront and honest? i didnt think so. any other thoughts. at this point i dont want this girl back. im still in shock from her actions. but she is a differant person i dont reall want to be with. ive cut ties with her completely for the second time in 5 months. i feel ive done the right thing. would you guys allow someone to do this to you. why does she not feel that she is doing anything wrong at all??????????? shes driving me crazy.

my god my ex is crazy. i had to "enlighten" her on asking me to get into bed last weekend at a party. she was waisted to the point she cant even remember asking me. this past weekend i find out she has a boyfriend for the last month. she has been telling me all kinds of things like "i want to be with you...just i cant right now". etc. the list goes on. im got to the point i had to tell her i will not stand for her dishonesty and manipulating me anymore. she has the nereve to think she is not? who's nuts here? she outright said to me "i dont want a boyfriend right now" and yet she has had one. she isw freeking crazy in my book. if thats not decieving someone i dont know what is. do you think this girl trully gives a crap about me or respects me at all? i dont. how come she cant just tell me the truth? why does she beat around the bush? i told her i didnt want people like this in my life. did i do the right thing? she is only causing me alot of anger and disgust. i need reosurrance ive done the right thing here. she obviosly isnt a good friend anyway.

i didnt snuggle with her. she was waisted and i had the power to say no thanks. i just cant believe that she not only screwed me over but she is doing it to her new boyfriend. i have cut complete ties with this girl. she makes me want to puke. to think 3 years of my life were waisted on her also makes me want to puke. she is a spineless coward. enough said.

after having my ex ask me to snuggle with her lastweekend.....i find out lastnight that she has a new boyfriend shes been with for over a month. another decieving lie from her. another stab in the heart for me. when i heard this my stomach turned and it still turns. i cant believe she continues to lie, decieve, manipulate me. she has told me lie after lie and yet she insists she loves and cares about me. i cant believe someone can be so crule to someone. i dont know how she sleeps at night.

after seeing her that night....i realized alot of things 1. she has a drinking problem 2. she is very immature 3. she is very insecure 4. she is not the same girl i fell in love with 5. she is not the type of girl i want to be with 6. i can say "no" to her games!!!!!! the thing that does bother me is that she probably doesnt even remember what she said. i guess in the end it doesnt really matter if she remembers or not.

i ended up at a graduation party this saturday...........the ex was there. for those of you who dont know the situation, she has put me through 4 months of hell. anyway.....i had an awesome time. i said hello and basically left it at that. i could tell she was making attempts to have large conversation and also to be in the same areas as me. i just kept telling myself.."shes not here". it worked. i had a blast and i could tell it was bothering her. towards the end of the night one of her friends comes up to me and says...." she is really drunk...we just put her to bed and she is asking for you". i said..."here we go". i went to see what she wanted.....she was waisted and not making much sense. she then said.."get in to bed and snuggle". lol i was shocked. all this coming from a girl who really hasnt had the time of day for me in the last four months. i simply said....." you are obviously waisted, no thanks" and left the room. she also threw in "i still care deeply for you". believe me...i wanted to jump in that bed but i didnt and im proud i didnt. i think i did the right thing. she emailed me today and didnt even mention it. i dought she even remembers what she said. why is it that the one who hurts you most.....continues to try and play with your emotions? anyhow.....i feel good about my decision. i didnt reply to her email either. i told her acouple weeks ago after having no contact from her for 2 months that i needed more time. time i will take ,time i deserve.

dont bother with this chick......shes realizing the grass wasnt greener on the other side. she left you once for something she thought was "better". dont buy into her "i love you" crap. if she really loved you she wouldnt have dumped you for this other guy. save yourself some grief.