tmills0011607306452

Hang in there man. You're doing the right thing. My ex was continuing to string me along with her game, and finnally I quit. I'm done. I am tired of hurting. Yes I love her, and I always will. But I want to be happy! I want me to return back to me! My happiness is now a priority now. F-her. Yeah we love our exs very much but the bottom line is that they continue to destroy us and we let them. I think that is the game. you'll have an awesome time on your trip! And yes you'll have fun! They live their own lives now. Let them destroy themselfves.

Hi there! I know what you're going through! My ex ex was going through the same thing, but didn't even think that she was. I noticed because there were subtle changes in her body, like her breasts firming, a little loss of weight, and then gaining it right back with a few x-tra pounds. Yes, being pregnate will change your life! It will also change your partner's life as well. I proposed to my ex ex, got my life together and started saving for the child's future. Emotionally, i preparted myself for the baby, as well as my ex ex. And things were really going well. We could not wait for the baby at this point, even though at first I was scared to death. Unfortunatley she had a miscarriage at 5 months and devastated us both, which eventually destroyed the relationship. My advise: If you are indeed pregnate, accept that you are, and be very happy that you will be bringing a life into this world. Seeing the child for the first time on a sonogram will change all of your fears. It did mine, and I am a guy! It will be okay either way of the spectrum.

Gil! please don't be hastey! Things will look better. If she really loves you, give it time and she will come back. She broke up with you! You shouldn't have to chase her! She should be the one chasing you! I have given up on my ex when I realized this. It is very unhealthy to constantly remind yourself of how things were. I even had some very grim thoughts about myself a few times. People like us do not deserve to be played with and then dragged along for the ride. I know I still love her like anything, but I need to cease all contact with her, and move on. I need to get healthy! I am so tired of being sad and depressed every minute of the day. If she realizes that she made a mistake, she'll try to make ammends. If not, she will continue to sap you along. This is what my ex is doing to me. Someone told me a great thing.... No lies, no hidden agendas, I just want a clean slate. You should to. It kind of stuck with me a little. I know you love her, as I do my ex and everyone else that you have helped in this nightmare of ours with their lost loves. I'm tired of the hurt. I want to be that happy person again, before I met my ex. I want to be me again. That is my goal now, not getting back my ex. Take care buddy and hang in there .

Well, I'm sure a few of you have been following my posts lately. My Ex and I have been talking to each other again. I had gone to dinner with her a few times and each time we had to say good-by she would give me a very passionate hug and she would lightly kiss my neck. But here's the confusing part. She wants to take things slowly! Friends first, then whatever comes along later. I know she wants to hang out with her friends, but it seems that she wants to hang out with me a few times a week as well. She knows I love her, and she also found out a few things that I could tell that made her heart knudge a little in my direction (Like when I moved out, I paid all of the money to break the lease, and paid all of the bills just to get a clean break.) So here's the deal. Do I make myself scares? Like don't call her (Or never answer her calls) Kind of make myself a mystery again for a while? Any help will be greatly appreciated, since I have a chance that I do not want to screw up.

Hello all who have been giving me advise. Well, today, I was thrown a bone. My ex shows up today, asking if I could help her with her stereo system. So I Installed it for her. She kept looking at me in that familiar way. And she came over and gave me a huge intimate hug and started to kiss my neck very lightly. She said that I was a sweet-heart. I asked her if she wanted to work at this relationship, and she agreed. But she wanted to take it in steps. She pretty much said we need to be best friends again, but in reality, what that meant was get to know each other again. So we pretty much went out to lunch and she held my hand, and we caught up on some old times. Now if I can show her that Nice guys do finish first. My foot is in the door again, now it's a matter of being able to chase her again. (Since I believe I am allowed again!) So I guess you can call her my half-ex? I know we are not exactly together yet, but now, we can show some minor affections towards each other again. I do feel so much better....

Update! Well, just received another "How ya' doing" phone call. Same as always, but this time, she was talking about making me an easter basket with all of my favorite fixings and telling me that I am a sweetheart..... I need to maintain control, or I think I'll blow my chance!! Yeesh!

It would seem almost picturesque. A perfect relationship, ending all of the sudden. Then her attitude consisted of belittering angst. Then as time passes (And having to clear out of our apartment) Her song changed. As I have stated in my previous posts, it would seem that she started to care again. Her adamacy of still being friends, the intimat-ish hugs, and the continuous once a day calls to see how I was doing. Now she wants me to help her install her car audio setup. An interest she has never shown before, and always scorn me for bragging about it to her. (I used to be into it years ago heavily.) Now she wants me to help her choose a setup, and help her install it.) "And maybe hang out or do something" as she put it. Yes, it would seem that she would like to be in my life again. I have asked advise from many people. Usually, the people who have given me advise have always told me to either bail and get on with my life, or told me to give up. Now, after explaining the current situation, they are telling me that she is missing me and I may have a window of oportunity. I had planned to meet up with her this tuesday, and help her out. I guess what I am asking, what do you guys think of this? This would seem a little out of the ordinary of "I'm just trying to be your friend." Dou you guys think I have a window of oportunity? I know I am not going to push "hey! Lets get back together." I'm going to see how things flow, and maybe show her that I still love her without saying it. Any advise? Or experience in people getting back together in these situations? This way I can gather a basis to an approach. Yes I have hopes, but I am trying very hard to be biased.

Well, me? I still feel as bad as I have for a while. I have healed a little, but have taken many steps to make myself a better person. (Working out, getting a tan for once! ect...) It's very difficult. Especially since when she has noticed those changes in me and now is starting to realize that indeed I am the person I always said I was. Now she has been calling me daily, wishing me a good day, and to take care of myself. Now the caring tone in her voice has returned to my ear. I always hear phone messages, but never return her calls unless she calls my work. Now her demeanor has changed. I know now that she misses me now. I have also found out that she has never seen anyone after the break up. I know I may get flamed, but I have been thinking with my head and heart at the same time. I persue my passions and hobbies, but at the same time, I have learned that I do not need her. But that I do love her dearly. I believe I am going to take another stab at it, but take it slow..... But now I feel numb because of it. I'm doing this biased. I'm forcing myself to burry some feeling, while I am doing it. And believe it or not, I am following the e-book "This Side of Good-bye" to the "T" I'll have an update this tuesday, I have agreed to meet her then. She wanted to meet this weekend, but I told her I was busy. She asked what for? I told her nothing, and That I would meet up with her tuesday. She agreed eagerly. One thing is for sure.... If things do work out, I will not move in with her for a long time.

Thanks for your reply! Yeah, I figured as much. Since my last post, she called about three times asking about car stereo stuff (Since I used to do that as a hobby a while ago) She asked me what would sound good in her car and if I would help her out installing it ect. I acted as if my phone was loosing its signal, and never really finished the conversation. So we'll see how many messages I'll have on my voicemail when I get out of work... I know there will be. One thing's fore sure... I won't be calling her back. Well, she has missed out on a very passionate, culturally rich and adventurous person. She chose a friend group who would rather drink in a military dorm environment than enjoy real life. (Military dorms are like the college dorm environment.) Even though the world seems a little dim for me now, I'm striving to push past my boundaries. I will be a better person, not that stereotype that she has labeled me in previous posts that I have mentioned. She can keep making excuses of why she has done what she did, and I hope that one day when she realizes all that she gave me up for to what she is into now, the pain will be comparable to mine.... And in the end... I hope she will end up as I had found her.. Alone and isolated. I now see this cycle in her and I know it will happen. I just cannot believe that she told me a few weeks ago that I am not as deep as I portray myself as! I'm sorry, anyone who is deeply passionate in what they do is considered deep. Sorry for the rant!

Well, I finnally cleared out of the apartment yesterday. I had to interact with the ex, since she needed to help with the responsibilities as well. She calls me telling me that she was on her way. I acted cheery and happy and her tone changed from a non caring to a solom voice explaining that I didn't have to put up that front. I explained "What Front!" Everything was fine! Well, upon her arrival, she looked into my general direction and we really didn't say a word to me. In passing in the hallway, she gave me a very an intimate-like hug. I recipricated and then I pulled away. We still didn't say much of anything to each other. I helped her the best I could by finishing packing and loading her stuff into her car. There were many moment when she would stand way close in my personnal space, that everyone knows is reserved for loved ones, as if to sense what I was feeling. It's amazing how her tone from the last few weeks turned from hate to all of the sudden caring. Before she would treat me horribly, and play on my emotions. Now she was sympathetic. I asked her to leave so I could finish cleaning the apartment, and she gave me another long hug and told me that we will be friends, and that she would call me in the future and that she was sorry. In some way that gave me hope, but I know better. I need to heal before I get into another relationship, or try a friendship with her. I'm not asking for hope, because that would not be good for me now, but would anyone care to explain what would be going through her head? Is this some sense of feeling sorry for me or is it some form of missing me? Bottom line, I won't call her or contact her for some time or maybe never again. I still have to sort through all of my feelings still. Any thoughts? Just look for my other threads to get a little insight of what's going on.

I believe you are better off without him. Charlotte is a very cool city. I go there once or twice a month to visit my best friend. There are a few great places to meet people (Tutto Mundos, Tonic, Mythos, ect....) I know it is tough to get into the swing of things, but I have met a few people a couple years ago down there and now I am now great friends with them. Keep your chin up! You'll meet some people! Just stay away from the tractor pulls!

Well, after being down for a very long time, I hit rock bottom. I had to finish business with the ex for finalizing the exiting of the lease. She didn't want to talk to me about it and told me she'll call me later. I pressured her that we need to take care of this and she started to push emotional buttons by saying that she never loved me, that all this discussion would end up being me crying, and how I am weak. I continues to pressure her and she started to push me and yelled for me to get out or she will call the police. I sat down and she started to push me and kick me. I gave her one last warning to stop until I finnally had enough. I picked her up and tossed her on the bed, and calmly said stop, we need to finish business. Now I will never lay a finger on anyone, but there is a point where she was using her power as a female to abuse me further...... Well, that put me in a huge rut yesterday.... How did I handle that? I went out and bought interior paint and starterd to spruce up my new place! I started to make my new surrounding how I like it. I washed my car and installed a new DVD player in it. Other words, I started to find that old person that I new (ME!) and try to build him up to be a new person. Now I'm excited about my plans for the place. Keep yourself busy with things you like to do even though you do not want to do them! Start a huge project and force yourself to do it! You'll be amazed on how you'll be sucked into it, and even though your life seems at a loss now (I still feel that really bad right now) You'll feel a sense of accomplishment! But don't start too many projects at once, I'm starting to feel really stressed about all the work I have to do. (But it is a good stress!!! ) I hope all of you that are at a loss are doing better. (especially gilgamesh..hang in there bro...) Now if I can only find a date........

Well, after a week of complete heck, I tried to talk to her one last time. All I was given was complete greif. But I felt very good about it. All of the sudden alot of the anxiety and the greif went down. It's still holding a little strong. It's hard when I dream abouyt her when I wake up, but then as soon as I go to work, I think about what went wrong. I never went wrong. I was everything she ever wanted. Degree, Follows life's passions, (And a Dj too!) I even grew into a mature relationship. But all in all she bored, gave up because she wasn't matured and found someone else. I now know not to comprimise myself. Someone will be out there for me some day. It sucks now because I still live with her, and probably will see her maybe one or two more times before we close out the lease. But after that, I know the healing process will be that much easier. Thank you guys for the kick in the arse. Love isn't worth it unless each other is truly into each other completely. Just like my love afair with my turntables.... They love me back! (Sorry, there's no sexual relationship though... )

There are days when I am strong, I tell myself that everything will be all right, and I am strong. But I find it very difficult at times. I really do not have a support group to rely upon. I gave up those people for the relationship long ago. (Not that I gave up friends, I gave up loosers that were bringing me down) I have started to notice changes in myself... I am starting to drink just to be able to get at least 1 maybe to 2 hours of sleep a night. All of which is futile until I dream of her. I do try to go out and find things to do, but all of the activities, just remind me of her. ex: Last saturday, I was DJing and had a very great night. I spin techno (EDM) and had the place really moving. Next I just grabbed for a record without looking, and mixed into it. I started to cry very heavily, in front of a very large crowd. I didn't stop for about a good 15 minutes. It's very difficult to persue any of my passions without thinking of her. I used to have a great group of best friends , but they all had moved to other cities to persue their life. During that time, I managed to become best friends as all of us do in relationships. Even though, what she did to me, I still want a friendship and she keeps telling me that she would like that also. But every time she talks to me, it would seem that there is a large amount of angst towards me. We both still share the same apartment, but I will be moving out this weekend. I know that may help me a little. I do know that I have to disappear from her life either for a while or permanently for both of us to get back our sanity. It's kind of funny though... When I met her she had no one at all, no friends, no family in the area.... Now after I had introduced her to a few mutual aquaintences, the tides have turned. I now have no one and she has "friends" to help her in her decisions. I know that I need to disappear from her altogether, but what scares me is the lack of a support structure. On top of that the people I am moving in with are a little weird. Yeah, I feel very alone. It's just a matter of how to deal with it. I am worried also that once I disappear, she will really start to miss me. Her new friends are the type to be very unstable at a friendship. They will dis her at a moments notice, and most of them will be moving away in a month. I don't want her to mis me for the wrong reasons and try to get back with me. I do want to be her friend, and I am hopeful that she will see her wrongdoings and be greatful for what she had and try to make things right, but hell, that really doesn't happen at all in life. Even though in a previous relationship I was dumped as well, I did the same things to my ex ex. I guess things really do come full circle. I'm just scared to be alone, and be devoid of the things that make me happy. I know I had to cut out alot of my previous life in order to help me grow as a person, but I think I comprimised myself in the long run. I have been struggling with depression for the last three years, and have blamed many things to cause it. Now that I have fixed all of those, I still find myself depressed. I am very scared, because I am not mentally well. Issues like finances, carrer goals, self image (I know I am good looking, but humble about it), are set, they are in good standing order. But I do not know why I am unhappy and not motivated.... I have tried to go out and meet new friends, but the people in Washington DC are a hard lott to meet and make friends. I have been trying to get help, but unfortunate for me, I am in the military, I do not have the luxory of picking my shrink. I have to see who they pick for me. And this individual is a cocky turd head. I think I am ready for the medication. I don't know what I am asking, maybe one thing or a whole lot at once. Has anyone had similar situations?

Thanks all... Yeah it make huge sense. I am moving on. But it would be real nice to have emotional stability instead of this rollercoaster BS! I had another talk with her today, and she was highly agitated since I wanted to explain my point. She pretty much tore me down and was making up excuses of why she left me. A few things she said were valid, because I would like to learn from my mistakes. But she had shown me how she could use someone to get ahead. Tonight she is staying home. And every action towards me is pissy and negative. Well..... Definatley will not stay with a person that "drags" me down. Yeah, I lover her, but I think I have finnally seen her true ugliness. Now the question is how to occupy my time to heal! That and I will never date 21 year olds again! well, her. I was the greatest thing she will ever have in a long time. thx all!

I know that I should move on but all I would like to know is how others perceive this story. Over a year and a half ago I started dating my ex. We immediately hit it off and were very passionate about each others. About 5 months later she asked if I would move in with her. I agreed. At first everything was great until we started to butt heads. But we learned to grow past that and work out our differences. I gave her everything that I was, and gave up many of my passions, interests , ect and was very happy with that. After some time I even started to think as if she was the one. But more so than often she would come home stressed about school and work. It seemed that she would take her stress out at me, but usually I would let her cool off, and then approach her. Even though she was stressed she loved me very much as well. She was always very considerate and put me before her. Then once we moved into another apartment, things seemed to get a lot better! We were doing everything together, and really couldn't be apart. I was sure at that time she was the one! But yet work was still a huge stressor in her life. I decided to introduce her to a few of my female friends that used to live near me. That is when all of the sudden I had seen less and less of her, our sex life suffered and then it leveled out. Things were okay. Yes my ex was going out and meeting new friends and having a great time and the relationship was good, and I was suddenly hit with something I never expected. She told me that she was moving to San Diego to take care of her mom in one months time. I was shocked! (Pretty much the same dumped feelings I have now) The next day she was very hostile towards me and treated me like shiznit. I decided to go to a friends hous 6 hours a way to escape for a while. I came back a few days later and we actually talked. I had caught her in a lie about her moving to San Diego, and she started to cry, and asked for forgiveness. Of course I forgave her…. She told me she was moving to Hawaii to be with her mom, but her mom offered to pay for her schooling if she moved home. I thanked her for telling me the truth and we both agreed to a long distance relationship and had a very passionate two weeks together. Then last weekend she was very distant. She never came home all weekend and when Monday rolled around I was down. I knew something was up, and confronted her about it. She explained that she was going over her friends house and were going out. I said okay and she left. Later that night that supposed friend called and asked to speak to her. Looks like my GF lied to me again. After an agonizing few days of not being with her and the times we talked she told me that she was just leading me on, it's done…. I never really loved you. I was devastated. Finnally we got to talk and after setting a few ground rules of her not being angry we talked. The truth came out. She was not moving to Hawaii, but moving to Arizona with one of "our" mutual friends that I introduced. She said that she realized that she was never in love with me and it was out of convenience, and now doesn't find me attractive. But she did say that I was a great guy and wasn't to blame for one thing of the relationship….. I know that I should move and forget about her. I do know that her explaination for breaking up with me is a wall, because people just know when one or another is in love with each other… There was definitely that feeling. But she claims there was no cheating involved and in reality, I believe her about that. I feel that she got a tast of partying and being with a whole new group of friends are a blame for this rashness. Any opinions of how someone who loves someone else very much and just stops??? I would love to have her back because she is an awesome potential mate, but I know I need to heal first before I can consider any relationship with her, friendwise and maybe the...something more hopeful.