Justaguy21

She was just young and inexperienced with life and the other options out there. We had problems in the past as well. I would be jealous at times because she was far away and just started college. We have both grown so much since then it's almost a miracle. -Steve

I just wanted to post what happened for a lot of people who have doubt about ex's getting back with each other. Well it happened to me, finally. I thought about my ex every minute of the day and I missed her so damn much it wasn't even funny. When we first initially broke up, I cried to her, begged her to reconsider, grovelled at her feet which just made things even worse and on top of that I became extremely depressed with life. Next, we tried dating again right after we broke up which didn't help things since I was still in this mentality that we were going to be serious again so I rushed things....bad idea....she broke it off with me several times and eventually told me the last time I saw her that we should be friends and nothing more since I expected so much from her. So she went back to school which was two hours away and we talked like once every week and the only reason I talked to her was because I didn't want to lose that interest with her and wanted to be her friend and hoped she didn't forget about me. Well anyways, about two months ago, we talked on the phone when she was still in school....basically she was making a lot of stupid decisions and really didn't know how to judge people. About this time she was really taking me as a person for granted because she had that "I can take care of myself and I know everything" kind of attitude towards me. I really just got sick of it, I always cared about her so much and wasn't ever controlling or jealous, just concerned. I told her straight out, "Be careful about guys out there, they arn't all like me" and she replied how she won't know unless she dates well people this was probably the best decision I ever made. I told her " I think we should have some space from each other, even though we are just friends" "I'm not waiting anymore for you because you are obviously confused with life and need experience" she started crying saying how she still wanted me as her friend because she didn't want to lose that, but I said "No" and told her in order for me to move on, we need to cut contact and give it time for me to really accept us as just friends. She sobfuly agreed and hung up. Two extremely hard months later.... She was down in town, and would only be so for 3 Weeks. It was now or never to me but the funny thing is, is that during that period of two months, I went to the gym, got a nice tan, got a better job, raised my g.p.a., and dated other people. I called her, and asked her have dinner with me but during the whole time I never talked about us or initiated anything. I was just her friend and nothing more, she would flirt but I would rarely flirt back... I was just being confident and through all of our meetings during this break, I finally had the mentality at last, that if it dosn't work out, that I'll be okay and move on with my life. Conclusion time....I took her out to dinner and this would be like the 5th time weve hung out together since her return. We had a great time and then went back to my place. We were watching a movie and I was on the same couch with her and I ended up laying down near her. She started to rub the back of my head and I started to think "What the hell is going on" but I followed a lot of posters advice and didn't react to it. Shocker....she said, "Stephen(that's my name), I still care about you so much, you have always been on my mind and I'm sorry for what I've put you through these past 9 months." My response: I care about you too and it's okay, we all make mistakes, that's how we learn and grow as a person." she then said, "You were right about everything, guys and just life in general, I thought I could handle myself but the whole time, I just thought about you, and us...." my response, "I think about us too but it's been so long, you have to let things go sometimes" she then said, " I don't want to let you go, I want you back in my life, no guy even comes close to you, you are perfect in everyway,etc,etc (compliments) and I want us to try again" so I'm thinking, "I can't believe this is happening?@#@" Out of all months I have cried, was really depressed, losed sleep and couldn't eat because I lost her, she really wants me back.....So we talked for about two hours and eventually decided we should be together again and not just date, but be exclusive...I was thinking we should just date again but we both know what we want now and it's been so long, we have both matured as people and one of the last things she said before she left was " I know things are going to alright, you are the right guy for me, I'm sorry it took me so long to realized what I losed, thank you for giving me another chance" I was dumbfounded and plus she said she will start driving out here to see me since I'm busier on weekends. It's like a dream come true,and I really thought I was dreaming. In conclusion, I think it just takes time for relationships to get back together, some do and some don't but even though you are a broken person at first and it hurts so bad, you eventually move on, wiser and stronger. If I have any advice to give to people who are broken up with their ex's and want them back is to just be patient and don't rush or push things, time is a miracle in itself, use it to your advantage, go and improve yourself, your physical and mental aspects. The "No contact rule did work, for me" I also wanted to thank all the people on these boards for their neverending wisdom and support, without you, I wouldn't be the happiness man in the world. Thank you so much, -Steve We were broken up for 9 months and were with each other for three years before she broke up with me just so people know. Also, if anyone needs to talk or anything, they can PM me or just reply to this thread. Added: You know what, know one is perfect so if you have made mistakes while trying to attempt to get him/her back, it's okay, because we are just humans, god know I did some stupid things but it's okay, don't beat yourself up for them.... Just be patient...since patience is a virtue you know....

When me and my ex initially broke up, I blamed myself in every aspect of our break up but as time went on I realized that I was a great guy to her. Yes, I was jealous at times but she blew it out of porportion and other little things she just made into bigger things that didnt really mess up our relationship. What I have come to learn is that she isn't perfect as I used to think at our intitial break up, but she had her flaws as I had mine. In the end, it's her loss even though she may never even realize it. Your ex must explore the world and unfortuneatly, date other people before she knows you were the best but HEY, even then she may never come back and you have to realize that before really growing and becoming an even better person. There is no UNIVERSAL man for every women, every women and man have different standards as to what is their perfect partner and you might not be hers but then again you may be too good for her. Good luck buddy and remember that she missed out on a great thing and it's her loss. It will take time and I admit, I'm not fully over my ex and it's been almost a year since our break up but just keep busy, join a gym, get in shape, improve yourself and the confidence inside so when you go out into the world again looking for something new you arn't just the same person but even stronger and wiser. -Me

Thanks for your response James. I have read the post by Morrigan and I believe all of it and I'm passed the groveling and interogation stage. I just want to talk to her one last time. She is extremely and I mean EXtremely stubborn and prideful so I may have to light the fuse on this one. I don't know her current address and so I may just have to call her. I really don't know what to say but in the back of my mind I know that if things don't work out with us that I will move on and meet someone new it's just I rather try with her over anyone else at the current time. I hope to take her out to dinner and just talk to her without asking questions about her love life, about us or anything and see how it goes. I know I'm going to have to take things slow but it's been almost a year now and I've been really patient with her so I'm afraid I may blurt out something stupid and foul up the situation for good. I'll try to not be emotional since she responded to me best when I wasn't but it's hard since I feel like I'm just this toy she plays with and has others on the side. I'm not back-up material and I don't like to think that she thinks I'm and maybe that's one of the main reasons I broke contact from her. -Me

Okay some people may remember my old posts about me and my ex and the problems we have had. Let me try to sum it up quickly for people who don't know about my problems. -Girlfriend broke up with me in March of 03' -We dated several times in Summer but I became to aggressive so she stopped -She eventually told me she dosnt know what she wants -Still wants me in her life -Says my opinion of her means more than anyone elses -Is still attracted to me -Can't tell me that she dosnt love me anymore -I would question her about her love life The last time I talked to her was about a month and half ago with her telling me that she dosnt know what will happen with us but she doubts we will get back together, and finally told me she will have to date other people to finally find out what she wants. Well I got fed up because I've been trying to reastablish our relationship numerous times over the 8-9 month period. I ended our last conversation (over a month ago) telling her I'm fed up with her leaving me on the back burner and how when she wants to talk to me, to call me but I'm not calling her or anything because I want her to grow and figure what she wants. She cried like mad when I told her this questioning why and when she can call me and I said whenever but only if she needs advice or someone to vent to. It hurts me to much to call her because it reminds me of all we went through and she wants this friendship which is something I can't give her since my love for her is immense. I have dated a lot of women since our breakup but alas, known have compared to her. Well anyways, Ill get to my question. She's down from school. She lives about 2 hours away and shes down here in my local town for christmas break. I havnt contacted her in a month and she has made no effort to contact me but she's only going to be down for a few weeks and then go back for the summer and the next quarter. In my heart I know this may be my last chance to actually see her in person and show her how much I've changed but the time is so little and I felt that she has moved on and is dating someone new. What should I do? Should I call her and get together with her and try talking to her? I really need some advice since I'm like 1 step away from calling her tonight and setting something up. I may have to call since I'm the one that told her I didnt like really talking to her anymore. Thanks, -Me Added: I'm a lot stronger of a person since we have broken up and have really changed and improved my self being, yet, it sucks since the only women I want, dosnt want me....

Okay, I'm back. I was absent from these forums for about six months now. I went through a really bad break up with my ex girlfriend of three years. I took a lot of advice and unfortunately, played my cards right and wrong. I did the right things and I did the wrong things, I guess that's what lifes all about. Well anyways, I left these forums with me meeting my ex for the summer since she lives down here but goes to a different college, two hours away. Well, summer went great, at first, she was still very attracted to me since I went to the gym twice as much, got a tan, and so on. I was being very independent and went out with my buddies a lot more often. She responded very well and soon wanted to date again, BAM, I'm in. Well I got too comfortable and she said i was moving to fast and expecting too much out of her so we went back to friends. We went back and forth like this 4 times throughout the summer. By the end of summer, I was so just fed up by pretty much dedicating my whole summer to her, that I was a broken man who just got annoyed with the presense of her. She started making out with guys she just met a party, and lying to me about it and then telling me the truth later and how she dosn't want me to think less of her. The last day I saw her, we basically just fought and she said we should be friends but she dosn't know what is going to happen to us (Confused B.S.) and she didn't have time to talk because she had to go to some movie with some people she just met.(Being Selfish) Okay, well since that day, we have talked off and on, once a week and been just friends. Well I can't keep myself from telling her the truth and basically calmy and nicely tell her that I still want her back (Last Weekend) , she says she dosn't know what to say or what she wants STILL, and that she wants to be friends for right now and work from there. Well, I think it's a cop out so she can still meet other guys and have no responsibility but keep me on the back burner and so on but I seriously dont even know why I'm still talking to her. She has some awesome points to her and the only thing I hate is that she is so unstable as a person. I've dated about two dozen women since her and met my share of pretty ladies but none have struck my interest to be exclusive with one of them. She isn't even that pretty and my buddies tell me all the time that I'm way out of her league but I'm so not superficial when I'm in love. I'm a great looking guy, going to med school, and pretty much got my path straight. So anyway, she tells me every week that I talk to her that she hasn't dated anyone since she has gotten back and that knowone strikes her interest there and has only kissed one guy at some dance but it meant nothing but then again she could be lying. My friends call me crazy and so does everyone else and maybe I just want her since she pretty much the only girl I can't get and it's driving me mad. My buddies tell me all the time that she is probably sleeping around with a bunch of dudes but I don't like to think of women my age being like that because I hate how guys can sleep with whomever and be cool but right when women do it they are sl*ts, which is so dumb. Listen, I need advice, bad. I was doing so good until she told me that she wants to take things slow and now I think there is a chance. I could sit here and write a whole another page or two about more info about us but basically the situation is this. She broke up with me, we've been parted for about 7 months now, we dated off and on in the summer, stayed physical(which of course never helps) she went back to school and has a billion guy friends, says she misses me and how hot I'm but the idea of us still really scares her, she never wants to talk about us, says she's afraid I'll think less of her since "My view of her is more important then anyone elses and how she values my opinions of her over everyone" and I'm driving myself crazy here with thoughts of her. Help me out my brothers and sisters and I apologize for all the gramatical errors,but I don't have time to proof read. -Justaguy

I'm not a quiter. Never have been probably never will be. Listen, really evaluate the relationship and the pros and cons. Make sure you will definitely not regret what you did later in life. If it's something that can be fixed, then try it. A lot of people now a days like to go the easy way out. Just my two cents. -Me

Okay well I must be out of that category because I know for a fact that I would never cheat and I have been put into situations that I could have the opportunity to do so and havn't. No matter how much I might dislike my current partner, I would never cheat on them unless I was broken up. To answer your question, yes, kissing and other forms of unessesary physical contact would be consider as such. -ME

I agree with Crook. You have dug yourself a hole which I doubt you can get out of. You have cheated and you don't deserve anything in return. I doubt you will ever get back his trust and don't be surprise that you don't. He is probably happy with his new trustworthy partner. Be happy for him and move on and please grow as a person and don't do someone immature like "cheating" again. -Me

Well me and my ex are dating again after taking a 7 week break. She broke up with me saying she would never get back with me again and that she only loved me as a friend. Well weve been seeing each other and now are dating again. I asked if it was exclusive dating and she said no and how if I'm attracted to someone that I should go for it. Well she has been telling me that she wants us to work out but that I've been smothering her these past two days about the future of us. She keeps saying stuff like "lets just have fun, we have the whole summer" she also discusses what we would be like if we got back together. We have been intimate lately also which is nice. I want to take things slow but I don't even know when I can bring the topic of "us" without her getting upset. I asked her when it is a good time and she went from happy to talk to me to the sighing "i dont know" attitude. I just feel like I've taken a step back with us. I'm not going to to call her today, I don't want to pressure at all but then again it's not fair that I can't bring us up. I got kind of irratated last night on the phone with her and said "so we are just going to keep hooking up but never talk about us?" she replied no but she dosn't know right now. I then asked her if I was being used physically and she said "of course not" She said I'm not smothering her physically just about our relationship. Any suggestions? -Me Added: I also was going to say that she would constantly say how when her friends would try to hook her up with guys that these other dudes didn't even compare to me in the slightest (big surprise) . She also said that she is still very attracted to me but when I said I love you to her she said she couldnt say that back right now.

Listen bro. She didn't just do it once but many times over and it wasn't something subtle like a kiss, it was consensual sex and oral as well. Seriously, just sit down somewhere and just think, think for a good long time. This girl, and when I say girl it's because she is still very immature and dosn't know what the hell she wants, is just not worth all this confusion and pain. Listen I know you probably like her a lot but consider what your relationship will be like if you get back with her. Will you ever be able to trust her again? I doubt it. She did some f'ed up stuff bro and dosn't even deserve to talk to you bro. You shouldn't even waste any brain cells talking to this poor excuse for a human being. She's just selfish and dumb. My two cents and good luck bro. -me

Stevie, does he know you are thinking about a break up? Make sure you communicate with your man because if you don't then you may have regrets. Seriously though, sit his ass down and tell him that is seriously bugging you to a point of yourself questioning the relationship and if you want to be in it or not. Believe me, if he loves you, he will probably jump at the chance at reignighting the flame of your guy's love. -ME

Excellent post, Stones, I agree 100 percent with this fine poster. -Me

Keep doing what your doing girl, it's going good. It seems as though he seems interested. He may be shy as well and just wants you to make the first move, however, make sure it's the right time to talk about it. Keep hanging out with him and occasionally flirt with him to make him know you are interested but to not have to flat out tell him. You're doing great and he sounds like an awesome guy so I would definitely say stick to him and keep going out with him. Start going out one on one possibly like to get ice cream or something innocent like that. Be very non shalaunt about it all. Be comfortable around him and be yourself, that is very attractive to a man. We want to know what kind of person you really are and not someone who is just trying to impress us. If you need anymore advice, PM me back. Hope this helps girl. -me

Wow, well she obviously still loves you deeply. Man, she probably realized how awesome of a guy you are and her decision to break up. See what happens is she probably dosnt want to admit she's wrong so she is like implicilty telling you by giving you that kiss but beware though...she is still confused and just make sure if you guys decide to get back to really talk about things with her because you don't want to have to walk through a relationship where you feel it's like a bubble wrap floor. Just don't jump back into it too soon and make sure you guys really talk it out. Good luck bro, I hope this helps a little. My ex and I are going to lunch tomorow and I havn't see her in a 5 weeka, we will see how things go, wish me luck. Take care, -me Also, I was going to say that she most likely said this dosn't mean you guys are back because she dosn't want you to think she just wants to get right back with you but I think she does. It feels like she wants you to think of her as being independet and not needing you. Keep doing what your doing and I'm sure it will all work out, hopefully.