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ycmanvs

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Everything posted by ycmanvs

  1. ycmanvs
    Day 10. I am starting not to care.
  2. ycmanvs
    Day 7. Wow, a whole week? I am feeling better today. This may actually get easier with each passing day !!!!
  3. ycmanvs
    Day 6. I am starting to get anxiety attacks. Hope they go away soon.
  4. ycmanvs
    LOL, that is why I have not contacted him. I said that it was ironic that he may not even know that we broke up, because he was so out of touch with me and the relationship.
  5. ycmanvs
    Day 5 and going strong.
  6. ycmanvs
    Day 4. It sucks not knowing if he even realizes that I dumped him for good. I almost feel like calling him to make sure he knows, but I know that it is best to stay in No Contact for good.
  7. ycmanvs
    Day 3. Wonder if I will last forever. I made a list of all the bad things about him and I look at it when I get nostalgic.
  8. ycmanvs
    Wow, that took a long time, but I finally got rid of him. It was a long, painful process, but it is finally over for good.
  9. ycmanvs
    You can be both clingy and codependent but they are not the same thing. Clingy has more to do with the behavior but codependency has more to do with the psychological aspect of it.
  10. ycmanvs
    This one is really good. It has more depth and covers more topics.
  11. ycmanvs
    Soulmates come in all shapes and sizes. They can be friends, lovers, etc. It just means someone who understands you perfectly and connects with you on all levels.
  12. ycmanvs
    i am slowly phasing him out. actions speak louder than words. he goes out every other night with his friends. he cannot decide "when and if" he wants to see me on weekends. i told him that i have to take care of myself.
  13. ycmanvs
    it's friday night. i am going home to study. i asked my boyfriend if he is coming over tonight to visit me. he said "maybe" but he would prefer to stay at his place if we are not going out. (he lives an hour away from my house on the T, but only 20 minutes by car...i do not have a car but he does) i already explained to him that until March 1st, i am not going out unless it's a very special occasion, like a birthday or a concert, so if he wants to visit, he can...as long as he lets me know in advance...so i can plan accordingly... he still cannot tell me if he is visting tonight or not and it's already friday afternoon. i told him that it's fine with me if he would rather do something else tonight because i need to study....he just can't make up his mind...so he is either the most selfish person....or the most indecisive person.... I DO NOT NEED PEOPLE LIKE THAT IN MY LIFE !!!
  14. ycmanvs
    New Year's Eve was fascinating. My bf got very drunk and proceeded to tell me how much he loves me for my mind and how compatible we are mentally, but that physically he is not satisfied. Once again, I had to remind him that I have to study and work full time and that in a couple of months, when I will have some free time...things will be more "romantic"... Of course, the next day, he had forgotten everything he had said to me...
  15. ycmanvs
    1. Finish school 2. Save a bit of money 3. Travel as much as possible 4. Party a little 5. Fall in love In that order.
  16. ycmanvs
    I found this thread very interesting. I am in my late 30's, female, and very lonely, even though I am in a relationship. I think people, both male and female, are initially attracted to physical beauty. I believe that once you actually get to know someone really well after spending enough time with them, you understand who they are. Unfortunately, what ends up happening is that who they really are is not who they first appeared to be. I think the truth is that most people do settle for unhappy relationships and do not find their soulmate because they do not want to be alone. However, I am not sure that there is such a thing as an actual soulmate. I believe that there are people who we get along with on various levels and that if we happen to find them physically attractive as well, we end up dating them. If these feelings are mutual and consistent and if the people are mature enough to want to get married and have children, then they might end up happy. This does not happen all that often and we end up with a very high divorce rate. So, I think the answer is to try to be happy being by yourself and accept the fact that you may end up without a significant other, but that there will be friends and family and people who will be there for you. If we are lucky enough to meet someone compatible, great...if not...that should be great too....
  17. ycmanvs
    you could just say..."i think the couch is the most comfortable place in the house" and lead them to it...and make a joke like..."those antique chairs sure look pretty but they're just not that comfortable"....the point is...you are not insulting them, but you are telling them your wishes...you are the host and you should have some control over your space...also... place settings are very common at parties, so it should not be a big deal to have them.
  18. ycmanvs
    i told him that i need time to study and that being on an emotional roller coaster is not an option...he seems to have understood what i need...at least for now...i told him that i could only see him on weekends and that i needed a few days advance notice so that i could arrange my schedule...so i am not going to worry about him or the relationship until i pass the bar exam...
  19. ycmanvs
    many men have those kinds of fantasies and secret desires...the mature ones know how to communicate them to their partners and realize that no woman...not even a stripper... will dress like that 24/7...anyway...you are very lucky to be out of this relationship.... by the way...law school is really tough on relationships...i am studying for the bar exam right now and i find very little free time for fun...
  20. ycmanvs
    of course i deserve them. my problem is not with self-esteem or with space or seeing someone every day.....my problem is with understanding the other person's motivation...i have a very good relationship with my ex's and i do talk to most of them and say Happy Birthday to them....i also introduce them to my boyfriend and have no romantic feelings towards them...however, i do not think that the same is true of my boyfriend's feeling towards his ex. anyway, i will break up with him when i feel that there is no way of making things work...right now, i am just confused about what he wants/needs... i am very easy going....probably too easy going....when we first met i told him that i was not looking for a relationship and i had no problem with him seeing other people....after a year, i told him that i was ready for a relationship and gave him an ultimatum....i was ready to walk away from him....he said he wanted to be with me and just me....so now it's 1.5 years later and he does not understand how i can be upset because i want some quality time with him...i do not want to see him every day...and i don't....but i doubt that wanting to have concrete plans for a friday night...or saturday night...a few days in advance is too much to ask... he seems to let things go until the last minute...that is who he is....indecisive and procrastinating....
  21. ycmanvs
    well...tonight is friday night and he told me that he does not want to get together, even though i told him that i'd like to have a date night tonight...he said he'd do something with me tomorrow....although he said he had no plans yet for tonight....it makes me wonder what is going on....plus his ex is calling him because he sent her an email to wish her Happy Birthday last week....the whole thing is ridiculous...i am not an insecure person....i am going out tonight without him...i am just wondering what is going on in his head when he makes the choices that he does?
  22. ycmanvs
    what would you do if your significant other started hanging out with your friends and did not tell you about it until after the fact? -i am studying for the bar exam, so i stopped drinking about 5 months ago because i wanted to have as many brain cells as possible...anyway, this does not mean that i do not enjoy going out...it just means that i go out less and i study more... unfortunately, what has started happening is that my friends and my boyfriend are now making plans without me...which is really getting on my nerves and interfering with my studying!!! (these are the same friends, btw, that say they want me to break up with him because they don't really like him).... what would you do?
  23. ycmanvs
    i think it is a very accurate description of anyone who is at a point in their life where they have to evaluate it and make decisions about their future.
  24. ycmanvs
    considering how much stuff i have to focus on right now, such as the BAR exam....i do not think that i will be getting on any emotional rollercoasters in the next 3 months....i just hope that my boyfriend respects me enough to not do anything "bad" until then....or ever again (i can dream right?)
  25. ycmanvs
    thanks...all the explanation i got was that he was gaming all week and figured he'd call me on friday....as far as the holidays are concerned, we are going to a couple of parties and family events... i guess my main problem is that i don't feel like he is 100% into me....i feel like he is keeping his options open....and his priorities are messed up.... anyway...i am also trying to take it one day at a time.
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