ycmanvs
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Everything posted by ycmanvs
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he SHOULD have an idea, but he doesn't. he is emotionally immature. i have to make a choice...do i sit around and wait until i am an old lady? or do i break it off and go on my own for a little while?
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things went ok as far as the wedding... however,... now he is saying that he needs some space and that he is not having that much fun when he hangs out with me...he does not want to break up with me, but he thinks i call him too much... i talk to him once a day, in the morning....when i get to work....i call him...sometimes he calls me.....anyway, we only see eachother on weekends... i can't believe that i have to deal with this. the only time he feels like he wants me is when i ignore him....it is absurd....we've been dating for two and a half years, and i should not have to play games to keep him interested....
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i am not sure why he wants her there. i told him in the past that something is strange about a woman who is ten years older than us, has her own car, and needs a ride from us and a place to stay.... he says that i am just paranoid because there is nothing going on between them, but i still find this odd....and so do all my friends. anyway, we'll see how things go.
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my boyfriend wants her to stay with us...that is why i am upset and i said that he is not respecting my boundaries...she just asked if we could help her out...and he said we should and he does not see my point of view...so now i look like the bad, selfish person if i say NO and rescind my offer....
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well, i am not trying to change him at all. he can play all he wants as long as he respects me and my boundaries.... however, there is something else that is really bothering me... we are going to my friend's wedding this weekend and i booked a hotel room. i thought it would be a nice getaway for the 2 of us. instead we are giving a ride to another woman who is going to crash in our hotel room because she has no place to stay...she asked if she could get a ride from us....i do not have a car and he said he'd give her a ride as well. so now, my weekend getaway has turned into this big slumber party!!! this woman is not a close friend, but i've known her for a few years and i know she does not have a lot of money so i am willing to let her stay with us, but i know that it will bother me that she is there.
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Things are better but not great. I feel like he is not paying enough attention to me. He is still addicted to gaming and there is nothing that I can do to change that.
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"...Totally true, I never thought that I would ever need therapy but am getting a bit obsessed with this and cant see an easy way through it so probably will have to go if nothing changes soon...." About 8 years ago I was dating someone with less experience then me. We went to couples therapy and talked about it. We ended up breaking up. He ended up getting married to someone else. We are still friends. I can tell you that until you are happy with who you are as a person (that includes your experience, or lack of it as the case may be), you are not going to fill satisfied in this relationship or any relationship.... So do what you have to do...but do not lie to your girlfriend about it...if you two get through this period...you will get through anything.
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I have been on both sides of this situation. I am about 10 years older than you. Here is a suggestion. Please do not take it as an insult. It would help if you talked to a therapist about your situation. You need to really analyze the reasons for your feelings. Even couples therapy might benefit you. There is no easy answer for what you are going through. On the one hand, you feel as if you need more experience, and on the other hand, you fear losing the relationship you have.
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all is still going well... we talk at least once a day. he wants me to visit him tomorrow, but i told him that i do not want to go to his house until he cleans it...the place is a mess...i've tried to help him clean in the past, but at this point....i am not doing it any more.... so we'll see...
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the date was great. he was on time... brought flowers....took me to my favorite restaurant and my favorite museum...we had a long talk... all seems to be going well... if he continues to treat me with respect, we'll be ok...
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So...he called last night and said that he was in my neighborhood...I told him I'd see him tomorrow for our date... I am enjoying the attention but I am not taking it for granted...My question is... is it ok to return his calls, now that we are on better terms? .....we are both trying to work things out and respect each other's boundaries.....
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we have a dinner date tomorrow night. he has been e-mailing me daily, telling me that he misses me very much. he wanted to see me last night, but i told him i had plans. he asked if i had a date, i said that i wanted to spend some time by myself. he wanted to know if 'we were seeing other people'....he said he wasn't, so i told him that i was not even thinking about that....but rather....taking care of myself.... he seems to be respecting my wishes....which was my goal all along....we'll see how the date goes tomorrow night....
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The NC worked. He called twice yesterday and wants to take me out Friday. I hope it all works out for the best....whatever that may be....
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She is doing what she believes is the best thing for her. You should respect her wishes. If she thinks that she would like to try again with you, she will contact you, if not, then learn from your mistakes, and move on. I know it's a harsh choice, but in the long run, you will be better off.
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I am not waiting for him, but I am not jumping into another relationship for a while. I need to be single for a few months. If he ever does contact me, and I feel ready to talk to him, I will....
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I did not contact him. I am taking it one day at a time. I did not respond to the e-mail thanking me for taking his call Saturday. I feel very good about taking my life back.
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He does not want to break up. I am just sick of the way he treats me, so I am putting an end to it....not the relationship.....
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I do not want to break up with him. I just am trying to figure out if things can be worked out or not. I am not contacting him though.
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I did not call him. He emailed four times on Friday. I did not respond. On Saturday, he called wondering what was happening. I told him that I did not want to argue with him. He said he'd like to get together to talk, so I told him he could try calling this week to see if I had any free time. He emailed this morning thanking me for taking his call. Should I respond to this email? He asked me a trivial question about something, but did not mention when he would like to meet....so I do not feel like I have to respond.
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he DID NOT CALL...so i guess it's time for the NC... i must believe we are officially broken-up, so that i can move on. actions DO speak louder than words, and the fact that he has no respect for me is an indication of the type of person he truly is....i am better off alone. any advice on coping? i have many good friends who are spending time with me so i should be ok, right?
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i am very emotional right now. it will be very difficult for me to talk to him tonight. i hope it all turns out for the best.
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ok, so what do i say to him tonight? i do not want to break up, but i do not want to force him to stay with me either.
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i agree, but what do you do to help someone? if you care about a person, shouldn't you try to be there for them? it's not that easy to say..."oh, he's an addict, so i'll leave him"...i have my problems and he was there for me.
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we both have issues with commitment....that's why we understand eachother so well...we do not want to live together unless we decide to get married, and up until last week we spent almost every night together, either at my place or his....the point is....what happens this week will make or break the relationship....i am only asking how i should act...what i should say...to get my point accross....which is to say..."that no matter what his flaws are, i am willing to accept him, and work with him"
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i looked at the thread, but we are not even 'officially' broken up yet, so i have no idea how to react....i'd like to try to work things out, but i don't know if he feels the same way.