ycmanvs
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Everything posted by ycmanvs
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ok...so on friday he texted me to ask what time he should come over so we could go to the party....i said 9 pm....he was on time....the party went ok...then around midnight, his friend from work started to insist that we go into town to go dancing...i told them that i wanted to spend some time with my boyfriend since i had not seen him all week and that since we were at the party with all my friends, i was happy to remain at the party...my boyfriend actually decided to stay with me at the party and we had a good time... anyway, we'll see how this week goes.
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just because logically i should break up with him, does not mean that emotionally i feel like breaking up with him.
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he is on vacation this week and instead of going away like normal people, he's been at home in front of the computer all week....that's why he is ignoring me....not because he wants to break up....so that's my problem....i have to compete with a stupid game....not reality....or another person....just a whole bunch of online gamers....
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well...i texted him today...he answered that he'd like to go to the party...then i tried calling but he would not pick up because he was gaming....he spends all his free time doing that when he is not at work....he is addicted....i need to deal with him as if he is a drug addict....
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here's what you can do. tell him that you are not ready to have a friendship with him. you need time apart to heal and be on your own. do not return his calls and do not make plans with him. do this only if you really think that things are over and you do not want to continue the relationship. it will be very difficult but it does work. after a couple of months you will feel great and ready to date other guys. my situation is turning out to be more confusing than i thought. i left a message for my bf last night but he never called back, even though he told his mother (who is visiting) to tell me that he'd call me later....anyway, since i know that he is addicted to gaming and was online playing at the time, i am not taking it personally because it is the addiction and not me...however, i have to decide if i am willing to go on in a relationship with an addict.
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this is strange. one of my boyfriend's friends from work just reminded me of a party next week, assuming that my boyfriend has already invited me.... well, of course my boyfriend still has not contacted me, so i thanked the friend for the invitation... this next week should be quite interesting.
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actually, we have talked about it....but to me actions speak louder than words...so i am waiting for some action
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i was talking about both posts. when i decide to break up with someone, the decision is final...i NEVER look back....i am still very good friends with most of my exes...the problem with my current relationship is that i am getting very mixed messages from my boyfriend....one day, he adores me...the next...he ignores me....his moods are very inconsistent, as is his behavior towards me...i have no idea if i should break up with him because i don't know where we stand... i love him very much and i know that things could work out for us if we both worked on the relationship....i just have no idea if that is what he wants. the problem is that he does not know what he wants...from life....from relationships...etc... i am a very patient person, so i have been waiting...however, i am starting to lose it.
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unfortunately, things are not that black and white. my boyfriend has not called, but that does not mean that he is breaking up with me...since i've always been the one that call him first....he never has a chance to miss me....usually after a few days of no contact....he always calls and wants to see me... however, i would prefer to hear from him every day. it sounds like bigheart09 hears from her boyfriend every day, yet she still feels like the relationship could be over... unless, we can communicate with our significant others about our wants, needs, expectations, etc....i do not think we should assume anything...the ONLY thing we know for sure....is how we feel...the only thing we have any control over is our own actions.
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i still have not heard from him. i am sure he does not even realize that i haven't called. i wonder if by tomorrow i will get a call. there is a party tomorrow night and i have a feeling he will want to go and be "social". i agree that we deserve better and it is really up to us to just let go. i just don't think that i'll be doing it any time soon.
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yes...exactly...it sounds like we are dating the same person....(just kidding)...i just wonder if anyone else has had to deal with people like this and if they were able to work things out, or did they just give up? i have a feeling that we are not the problem. we are attracted to people who have emotional problems. i do not know too many women who would put up with that kind of behaviour. i am also wondering what happened to the relationship? when we first started seeing eachother, he would call me and email me almost every day. now, two and a half years later, he can go days without talking to me...i just don't get it.
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well, i guess my point is that it takes 2 people to work at it...if only one of us is trying to make it work and the other does NOTHING then one of us will be unhappy...or both...if i try, i get accused of being too needy and controlling...if i don't, he assumes i want to break up...i can't win either way...
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we saw eachother for the long weekend. we did not fight at all because we almost never fight about anything....we spoke on the phone on monday because i called him to say HI when i got off work. there is a party on friday that our mutual friends are throwing. i have no idea if he is going or not. i'd like to call and find out but i am sick of being the only one that puts any effort into the relationship...so i am waiting to see when/if he decides to call me.
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if you are really over, then stop talking to him. if you are still seeing eachother then it's not over. you can't have both at the same time. i have been in relationships where we remained friends after breaking up, but it took months of not talking to eachother to get to that point. please ask him once and for all if the breakup is final, or make the decision yourself and do not talk to him any more. my problem is that we are not broken up. however, i am always the one that calls or suggests getting together...and i am just sick of chasing him....so i stopped calling....so far, i have not heard from him at all....it's only been 2 days but that's still 2 days too long....
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are you officially broken up? if so, you need to take some time away from him with no contact. if you are still together, then you should be able to talk to eachother about whatever is going on at work or anywhere....
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we are in our late 30's. we both spent our 20's partying too much and not being very emotionally mature. i am ready to settle down but i do not think that he is really ready for any of that.
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i don't think that i am going to do anything until i pass the bar exam. i have to study and work full time and all my energy has to be focused on my career for the next six months...after that i will probably have to sit down with him and tell him what i want and see if he is interested in making things work...i have a feeling that we'll break up...but then again, he has surprised me in the past and that is why i am still with him.
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ok, well... usually around the 18 month mark, relationships get tested because that's when all the initial "love" hormones start to go back to their normal levels...after a year of dating my boyfriend, i gave him an ultimatum, ...because he was still dating other people. anyway, he chose to stay with me and be monogamous...however, that did not mean that he changed who he was...a person who loves to go out and get attention from other women...now, it's a year later and i want more. you have to sit down with your guy and tell him exactly how you feel and what you want...you might lose him....or you might be surprised and get to the next level of your relationship.
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wow....our situations are so similar...my bf loves to flirt and go out...if i ignore him....he always comes back to me....if i pay any attention to him, he feels like i am smothering him. i know that these are his issues...he likes attention...he did not get enough of it growing up, so he has a lot of emotional problems....which i have dealt with as much as possible.... i don't really know enough about your circumstances. how long have you been together? have you been exclusive all along? how old are you guys? does he want to spend the rest of his life with you? etc.
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i just don't know what to do. i read your post bigheart09 and i know what you are dealing with. i moved to a new apartment in september and i started a new job before that. i should be happy but i just can't enjoy anything when i know that the relationship is not working out. i don't think that things are over, but since i am not happy with the current situation, what should i do? what will you do?
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should i wait for him to call me this week?
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thanks Pera...i agree with your assessment of the situation completely. i did try that in september and it worked temporarily...he even told me that he needs to hit rock bottom before he'll change... anyway, right now i am going to try to focus more on my own life and less on what he is doing (or not doing as the case may be)
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i guess my point is that right now, i just don't feel like being completely alone. sure, a nice guy would be great, but i do not have time to date and get to know someone new...yes, i should probably be alone for a while, but i just do not feel ready for that right now....plus, what if i am overreacting?...and he really is not doing anything wrong while we are apart.
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that is easier said than done. i am very busy, working full time and studying for the bar exam. i do not have the emotional energy to go through a break-up right now. i believe he is taking advantage of the situation because he knows that until i pass the bar exam i am not going to address any indiscretion. when i first started posting to this website, i thought the relationship was over, but he came back to me and said he wanted to work things out.
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what now? he told me that he does not have to invite me every time he goes out. this statement was made after i found out that he had gone to a fashion show without me. although he knows that i love fashion shows and would have really enjoyed going, he did not mention to me that he attended the event until i looked at our digital camera and saw over 100 pictures of a fashion show. when i asked about the pictures, he said that it was a last minute thing...after work....however, the time stamp on the pictures and the pictures themselves told a very different story. i explained to him how i felt about being excluded from this activity and his response was to tell me that he was afraid that i might act jealous around other women. this accusation is completely false. all the people who heard this story have the same reaction. he went to the show without me because he was hoping to meet other women and did not want them to know that he has a girlfriend. anyway, we spent the long weekend together and we did not go out at all. i did not mind this because i thought we were spending quality alone time, but he told me that he felt that we were not being social enough and that he was looking forward to going out without me this week. he has the week off and i do not.... i guess my question is? should i wait for him to ask me out at the end of the week? or should i just assume that i am not seeing him at all this week?