charley

You talking about fashion shopping help? Any woman 30 or younger will do nicely for you, if she has some fashion sense. Married women will often help a guy. Ideally though, a woman in the age range you're after. Hey, I said a have a lot of platonic women friends, I never said they were all single. Half of them are married, especially those over 30. They all give me fashion opinions, advice, and those who have time will go to a store with me.

There is such a thing as luck. We all have some. Luck is when an opportunity presents itself, but you have to be prepared to make the most of the opportunity. Thing is, many people let the opportunities slip by, or aren't prepared. For example, meeting a nice woman is partly or totally luck. However, meeting her won't do any good, unless you are prepared (in advance) to make the most of the opportunity. i.e. - you've already got to be looking decent and capable of talking to her when the moment arrives, and it's unlikely you'll know in advance when she's going to suddenly appear in your life. So you have to try and be ready all the time, or as often as possible. Then to, getting out socially will increase the number of women you meet, thereby increasing your luck because you have more chances. Preperation is what prepares us to take advantage of luck. Both are needed to succeed, IMO. The problem is that few people are prepared to make use of an opportunity when luck provides it. i.e. - when a woman you like walks up, it's then to late to get a hair cut, change clothes, etc. So you have to already be ready.

How could you possibly tell if she's hot when she's wearing a baggy trench coat? In one of those things who could tell?

If you love your trench coat so much, then keep it and wear it occasionally. Just don't make it your uniform. If you become a missionary, then wear the trench coat if it's appropriate when it's appropriate. Also, if you see a girl in a trench coat, then you might be in luck and get to have a girl and your trench coat too. However, I wonder.... Would you be attracted to a girl in a trench coat? Interesting question, aye? Are there any girls in trench coats? I honestly don't know since I've never personally seen one. However, that says a lot right there. I'm quite the girl and lady watcher. It's my first and oldest hobby. I don't only watch the good looking ones, I also give the interesting ones a look to, from curiosity if nothing else. I can't remember ever seeing a woman in a trenchcoat, except for senior women who wear similar things around here. In your age range, I never saw that. Ahh, or should I say "awe", now I'm thinking back and getting nostaligic for spandex and mini-shirts. Women and young ladies are wearing more clothes again. What's wrong with the world today?

Ya Kevin. Realisitically, would you still want to date her? Sleep with her? Marry her? When she's attired in garbage bag and mud? An extreme example to match her extreme example, but a valid example all the same.

Once I was doing computer maintenance on my aunt's computer, including deleting unneeded files to make more room on her hard drive. The problem is that my aunt is a semi-computer-literate fuss budget who must view every file before I'm allowed to delete it. She also has a son who was in his late teens or early 20s at the time. You can see what's coming can't you? I start seeing jpg files with filenames like "babysitter" and "naughty" and I'm avoiding all jpg files now because I can guess those are her son's pics and my imagination is running wild. I avoided those files until they were the only ones left. In an hour's time, the woman never went to bathroom or got a coffee, or even blinked because she's a fuss budget who has to watch everything, even though I'm a computer professional. So, I had no opportunity to delete them while she wasn't looking. Finally, an hour into the job, I was now sweating bullets when I opened the "babysitter" jpg. The "babysitter" was a young woman who appeared to be about 18 to 22 who was engaged in... I'm not even going to say what she was doing or where she was receiving it. Anyway, my aunt gasps, moans, hyperventilates, and I'm waiting for her to pass out, but then she recovers and manages to suck in a long breath and then says, "Boys will be boys. OK, you can finish deleting the files without me." She got up and walked away. We never talked about it again. What kind of idiot would save that stuff on his mom's computer? Can I really be related to a guy that stupid? I share the pain of your OP moment. I got a taste of that. Her embarrassment was tangible. I wasn't so shocked because I'd already been suspecting what it was for an hour before opening the file. But her embarrassment and humiliation was not easy for me. However, times heals all. I hadn't even thought about it in years, until I read your OP. You'll get over it.

OK. Thanks Kevin. I just wanted to emphasize the trench coat thing because I think ditching it would vastly increase your attractiveness to most women of any age, IMO. However, I didn't intend to be disrespectful about it. I just think it's really important.

No offense intended. I'm just trying to encourage you to succeed. I'd love to know you got what you wanted. I'd be really happy for you. I just think you might have to choose between your trench coat vs. improving your chances with women. However, it's your choice and I respect that.

If God wanted you to wear a trench coat at your age, you'd be a missionary. My generation doesn't know anything (at least I don't) about a trench coat and world of war craft, or being a thug. All I see when I see a young guy in a trench coat is either a weird computer nerd; a missionary boy if the shoes are black, shirt white; or a young guy dressing like an old man. Sorry, but that's what a guy, or likely a woman, my age is going to see. Among other things, I am a professional computer nerd and I'm around those trench coated young guys often (and not a girl in sight) and I am well familiar with that look. I personally have not ever seen a young guy in a trench coat with a girl or woman. Not once EVER in my life. That says a lot. I may look 28, but in some ways I think 38. I really think that trench coat is girl repellent. No offense, but I do. It's girl repellent and woman repellant. ======= Ignore my mention of my letterman's jacket. I don't think young guys where those, unless currently on a varsity sports team. Middle age (me, Adam Sandler, and guys that age) and older guys do wear them sometimes. I never wear the same look to often, but when I do wear my letterman's jacket I know I'm dating myself as well over 30 because women friends my age and older tell me I look "handsome". That's a direct quote. My younger women friends all the way down to 18 (typically 18 to 23) told me I looked like a "handsome older man" in it. That's also a direct quote. Mmmph! Older huh? OK, I still like it and I look good in it, older or not. However, that look probably isn't for you Kevin. Also, my various looks I described are typcially appreciated by women 24 to 40 based on feedback I get. The occasional 23 year old gal likes to, but not usually. So if you're going for young ladies from 18 to 23, then ignore half of what I told you, cause half my looks don't work for them. However, I don't think any woman any age is going for the trench coat. That I firmly believe.

Darn. You touched me. I think you just turned me off women. [-X I'm going to turn asexual for a while and give up again. For a couple weeks anyway. Ladies [-X

That's poetic and true. Did you make that up yourself? You could work it around a bit and post that in poetry. Maybe like this as a poem: Women are roses with sharp thorns... The tighter you hold them the more you bleed... the more the pain...

If those women knew he was working and paying his share (rent, food, utilities), then they should respect him. thereforeeee, why would they care? Ladies, what do you think about that?

Also, even if you're temperarily unemployed, or under employed, that happens to everyone at times. So I wouldn't worry about that. Though some women would see that negatively. Bottom line: Every woman is different. Some might not like it. Others wouldn't care.

If the guy is employed and pays rent to his parents, and pays his share, then I see no shame. It's only embarrassing if his parents are supporting him, IMO. Otherwise, why should it matter? That's my opinion. I don't know what women think about it. Maybe they'd be OK with it if they knew you were working and paying your share (rent, food, utilities, etc). They should be OK with that since it's respectable, if you're self supporting. That's my opinion.

That describes half of my jackets right there ^. Add to that my letterman's jacket, and a few fleece jackets. And of course, a matching baseball hat for every jacket and every shirt. The main color of hat matches either shirt, and the hat logo color matches the jacket, or vice versa. I'm surprised no one else mentions color matching. I can tell you for a fact, that most women are pleasantly shocked when a man shows some good color taste. It's so far beyond what most men do. If you know a certain woman you like has a favorite color, wear it (assuming it's not pink, or some color that is a major clash with your skin or hair color). You can find out from her friends, maybe, or can guess just by observing the colors of her clothes that she most often wears. Color awareness isn't a style necessity for men. Other style issues are more important. However, good use of color can be the icing on the fashion cake, if you use it competantly.

That sounds good, except I'd add, "Please do not contact me again" to the end of it. However, this situation is already past this stuff. It's now time to block the guy and forget it.

Sure, I've given up many times. Usually for week. Sometimes a month. occasionally for a few months. Once I gave up for a few years. However, I eventually picked myself up and starting trying again. I didn't just give up sometimes due to not getting a woman. Sometimes I gave up because I'd had one and she messed with my head big time, or was mean. Some women suck and sometimes having a woman sucks. So don't ever assume that having a woman will make you happy. Likewise women should never assume having man will make them happy. A relationship can be great, but it can also make you yearn to be single, alone, and celibate. Seriously. I have enough experience to have learned this first hand. So while I do feel for single, lonely, horny, desperate people, I honestly say that there's no reason to be desperate. I'm single, lonely, and horny myself, but I'm not desperate. I won't go there. Besides, I've had a couple GFs and thereforeeee I can appreciate certain advantages of being single and alone. Women can be nice, but they aren't perfect and time spent with one isn't perfect. At least not so far in my experiences. I really think some of you guys are idealizing women beyond anything reality can support. That just makes you more unhappy, and if-when you do get a woman, you'll likely be disappointed that she can't live up to your idealized ideas about women. Having a woman can be great, or suck. Being single with no attachments and no responsibilities to anyone can also be great, or suck. Try to enjoy what you have while trying to get what you want. If you do get what you want, don't expect it to be perfect.

I love this post ^^^!!!. My post was meant to say that it won't matter a fig when you die. It only matters while you're living. However, don't allow it to dominate your life or make you unhappy. Just work at getting what you want and try to enjoy the process of trying to get it. The journey to getting a woman is half the fun. Being with her is the other half the fun. Also, the journey is half the pain. Being with her is typically the other half the pain in my limited experience. Point being, single may suck in some ways, but it's good in others. Nothing's perfect. Having a woman isn't perfect either. At least not so far in my experiences. Still trying though. There's good and bad in everything, including being single and being with someone. Try to enjoy the good of whatever your situation, and don't ever think having a woman would solve all your problems. It woudn't. For every problem having a woman ever solved for me, it created a new problem. I still love women, but no way am I allowing my self worth to be defined by whether I have one or not. I hope you get a woman yet. You might, if you keep hope and keep trying. But whether you ever get a woman or not does not define you, your life, or your worth as a man. Don't allow this to affect your self esteem like this.

Yes, I agree.

I have to note that as interesting as the things women say they notice, are the things they don't mention.

To clarify: When I said "sport shirt" above, I was using the traditonal gentleman's word for a colored (solid or multi) button down shirt. The multi-colored button down works with anything, except a suit. The solid color works with anything, except shorts. My traditional use of the phrase "sport shirt" is totally different thing from an athletic shirt of a sports team. ======== The white button down is pretty much only for use with a suit, or slacks and sport coat, or just with slacks, if you want to look that formal. I don't know about young folks today, but traditionally, it would be considered a fashion disaster to wear a white button down shirt with jeans. It's only the white button down with jeans that I object to. (also the trench coat with anything is a non starter if you're under 60). I like the better, classier polo shirts because they serve the same fashion niche as the sport shirt, but with more comfort. The only thing a polo doesn't work for is with a suit. Then I go white button down with suit, or maybe solid color button down with suit.

It's the white button down shirt with jeans that I object to. Tucked in or not. Starched would be even worse. A colored button down can look good with jeans. A multi-colored button down is better yet with jeans. A white button down shirt was traditionally called a dress shirt (for use with a suit or slacks). A colored, and especially a mulit-colored button down shirt was traditionally called a sport shirt and can be worn with jeans, slacks, or shorts. A colored button down shirt has the advantage of being able to be part of a casual look, dressy casual look, or formal dressy look. Typically only a solid color button down shirt can worn with a suite or sports jacket. It wouldn't be acceptable to wear a mulit-colored button down shirt with a suit. Sports shirts (multi-colored button down) are versatile. Same is true of a nicer, higher quality polo shirt. I prefer polo shirts (classy ones, not Walmart ones) more than button down sport shirts because polo shirts serve the same versatile fasion niche and they stretch and move with my body, which allows greater comfort. Also, a polo shirt is cooler in summer, IMO. However, a colored button down shirt (sports shirt) with jeans is fine, whether tucked or not, IMO. The "tucked optional" concept is my generation. For older generations before me, tucking was mandatory. For younger generations after me, untucked is most common. Personally, I just tuck in when weather is cold, and untuck when weather is hot. This for button down or polo shirts. Comfort rules!

That's true. Clean cut is always good with any clothes and any look, IMO. Especially "clean" is good, but clean cut is a visual indication that you're clean. I'm so clean cut that I only have one eyebrow. However, you have to admit that some women don't like clean cut guys. Some prefer guys the grungier and more tattooed the better. It seems like some women like the X-convict look, or the unwashed rockstar look. However, those are a couple looks I have no interest in including in my line-up of alternating looks. All my various looks are variations on the clean cut look. I'll leave the grunge to others.