charley

You're going to be in the same room with them for months, right? You'll meet them without even trying. Anyhow, on the first day of class, and the entire first week, they're just trying to focus on school and getting oriented. I think it'd bother them if you were approaching them at that time. Anyhow, you should be focused on school and getting oriented the first week too. I suggest you don't even worry about meeting girls the first week. After that, you'll meet them naturally because you're all together in same room for months, right? That based on your question, which was how to meet them. If your question was how to approach them, I might have a different answer for after the first week of class, but for the first week, just leave them alone, in peace, and concentrate on your studies. When the time comes, you can smile, and say "Hi, what's your name?" like poster above said.

Arranged marriages are still very common around the world among Asians, and Middle Easterners, and yes even among conservative Christian white people right here in the US of A. Like my many cousins for example. I've had many Asian American friends. That's why I know about it being still common with them. However, it's becoming less common among Asians Americans, and accommodations are now made in the cases where it still occurs. Like veto power for bride and groom. i.e. - their parents might choose the match or go to a match maker, but the bride and groom now date (possibly with chaparone) for months before the marriage to see if they like each other. Either party is free to say, "no thanks". Then the match is off and they can try again with someone else. Mind you, I can only say this is what I've observed with some of my close Asian friends and how they explained it to me. So it's not like they're forced to marry someone against their will. Well not anymore. At one time in the past, they didn't have veto power. I wonder how it is in Asia today? Do the prospective bride and groom have veto power? I don't know. Also, many Asian Americans today choose their own mates with no help from mom and dad, but they still want mom and dad's approval. Today, the arranged marriages for Asians in USA (at least as I've seen) are for those who are having difficulty finding a mate on their own. So really, it's not something forced on them anymore. Now it's just a backup plan to help them. The same exact thing describes my cousins as well. Now that's white people who are ultra conservative Christians. However, what I describe about Asians above also exactly describes my cousins and everyone else in their far right ultra conservative church, which is a nationwide church by the way. Arranged marriages among white people in the USA is alive and well. Actually though, I'd say they have less freedom than the Asian Americans typically do becaue although my cousins were allowed a veto, if they wanted it, they were not allowed fair opportunity to find their own choice of mate. Some did manage to find and choose their own, but most had to go the arranged marriage route because they had no other options since their father made sure they were not in contact with young people outside their church. Well, the women anyway. The men have substantially more freedom. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying that's how it is. Now you see why I don't want to marry into that? Even though one of their inlaws has a mutual like and attraction with me, I just don't want to marry into that culture. I'm getting away from that culture. I don't want to turn around and marry deeper into it than where I started. Now you can also see why I'm loosening up as I get older. It's only natural to loosen up as I get older when I started out so uptight in the beginning. Then there's the Middle East. I only know what I've seen on documentaries. I saw that women in many places there have no freedom, and the men only have as much as their father allows. That means arranged marriages with no veto power and no complaint. Complaining could get you beaten or killed. At least that's what I saw in documentary. I have no direct personal experience with Middle Eastern culture. I do have one good male friend from Afghanistan and another from Iran, but they both fled those countries years ago and married white American women. So those guys are not an example of Middle Eastern culture. They're examples of guys who adopted American culture as their own.

Perhaps that's because you have some muscle? Muscle is denser than fat. This results in looking less heavy than you actually are. Weight is just a number anyway. I couldn't care less about a woman's numbers.

You don't have to sing. Personally, I've been to a couple karoke bars and I have to have two drinks to stand to be in them with all the screaching (singing) people. I'm a lightweight drinker. I seem to lose some hearing at about 1.5 drinks. Like someone just turned the volume way down (thankfully). At 2 drinks, the karoke can be ignored. I miss the old days when people had enough shame, humility, and better sense than to sing in public, unless they actually could sing. Call me old fashioned. Maybe you just have good sense and the courage to say no. I think you're fine to say no. Now if you can actually sing, then that's different. If you can sing, then your fears are unfounded. However, if you cannot sing, then your fears are just good common sense (something lacking in many people).

Oh ya, I almost forgot. Friskcodj advice sounds great too. Great post there Friskcodj!

Hi. How are you? (wait for her answer) How's it going? or Hi. How are you? (wait for her answer) What's that you're working on? (assuming she's doing something) See how easy that was? That's the basics right there. I had the same problems as you and worked it out and I've got the conversation and flirting stuff down now, at least with strangers and acquaintances. Not so much with my women friends whom I tend to stick to friend topics with and not tell them if I'm attracted to them, but that's another issue. For your issue, check out this thread because it exactly covers it, I think.

Not sure. I might want to date my new wife for a while first. You don't have to do it the first night. There's no rule that says so. One of my Cambodian friends had an arranged marriage and both he and his wife were virgins and they were both freaked out and scared about the wedding night. They were acquaintances at least. Not total strangers. It seems like a frightening scenario and all to real for millions of people around the world. They got through it somehow. Their first night? I don't know. I never asked and I never will. My cousins are so proper that they probably all had to deal with something similar to this on their wedding night. i.e. - never touched each other before, well not beyond holding hands or a hug. Some of them picked their marriage partners, but others were picked by their father (a preacher). Yipes. However, they did at least know each other well before getting married and they all had veto power to the marriage, and some used it too.

My final answer was that I don't care either way because either way I'd get the babe. A or B would work out just fine.

They might be easier to catch since they can't run as fast as younger ones.

What's the link to your pic? If the legal age is 19, then try to look at least 20, if you can. I think the young ladies would like you better if you can look 20 or 21. Even the 18 year olds probably would.

Do you at least look old enough to successfully date 18-20 year olds? If so, I have no sympathy for you. Why should I have sympathy for a lucky guy? If not, then dress older, and you'll look older, and then do fine with 18 to 20 year olds. Maybe 21 year olds too then.

My above post was primarily for young looking guys. For young looking women, guys love that AFTER they find out you're actually old enough for them to date. So if you can slip your actual age into the conversation (Allie), then they're probably going to be eating that up and want to ask you out. For example, I met a young lady in the waiting room at the doctor's office (a few years ago). She was another patient. She looked like a very beautiful 16 or 17 year old based on her face, and she had a rockin figure. I was very attracted to her, but feeling totally guilty about it because I thought she was underaged. I remember mentally telling myself, "shame on you. stop thinking about her, she's probably 17". Turns out she was 29 and when I found that out I was so excited I actually got excited. Sadly I was to shy to ask her out, even though she'd given me every possible green light. However, I sure wanted to. I had no ideas about actually asking her out until she told me her actual age and when I found out she was old enough, oh man I wanted her. I had a similar experience about 2.5 months ago with a beautiful gal who looked 17 or 18, but turned out to in fact be 26. Once I knew her actual age, I started making plans to ask her out. However, I got sick and was out of action for 2 months. So I never did. Mmm. Time to go visit her again. Anyway, guys like young looking babes just fine once they find out they're actually old enough after all. So Allie, you need to work your actual age into the conversation some how. I assume you are 19 or 20? Once they know that and aren't afraid your 16, then they'll be after you like everything.

You are not doomed. You can dress a bit older than you do. Also, another solution is to date women younger than you. You're 24? Nothing wrong with you dating 18, 19, and 20 year olds. Every obstacle and problem is an opportunity is disguise. In this case, it's an opportunity to date hot young babes. So enjoy. Hey, women near my age won't touch me with a pole. They don't even like to be seen with me in public because people think I'm 8+ years younger than them and that embarrasses them. However, younger women than me like my looks just fine. So instead of me thinking that a problem, I think "All right!!!!!!!!" and go with the flow and be happy that young ladies 23 to 28 like me. I'm going to enjoy that and not complain. See, it's all what you make of it. As you young looking folks get older, all this will work more and more to your advantage. In your 30s, you're going to have it made. Make this a positive thing. It can be positive if you run with it. Go ahead and date younger people and be happy. No more complaining about looking young yourself. Many would love to have your problem. Even so, if you want to still look older, then dress the part and you'll be perceived at least 5 years older or more. However, why do that? You're blessed. Be thankful.

You can both dress older. The way we dress can influence how old others perceive us to be by as much as plus or minus 5 years. I read that somewhere and I know it's true. If I wear my suit and tie people think I'm 35, especially since I'm not wearing my baseball hat (1/3 bald). If I wear my jeans and leather jacket, or letterman's jacket, people think I'm 25 to 28, if I keep my baseball hat on. If I take my hat off, they think I'm 30 to 32. So my age range they guess is all the way from 25 to 35 depending on how I'm dressed.

If that's a picture of you Allie, you look like 16 to 25 with early 20s being most likely. You're beautiful. I see nothing for you to complain about. Besides, guys like young looking women. However, women often don't like young looking guys. So I can understand his problem. However, I don't think you have a problem at all. Just believe in yourself and you'll be fine.

P.Dragon - Of the two pics you've had up, the one where you are smiling is the best. You look cool in that pic. One of the women had said you look adorable or someting like that. Your smiling pic is the pick.

Who said fugly? That's a whole nother level. Oh well, I could go on a diet if I was fugly. I did go on a diet when I was fat (224) and got down to 180 and stayed there for 3 years. Being fat is a solveable problem. You look good and to cool for school. Your false modesty is endearing though.

So we agree that it's wrong, then? (If someone will say yes, then I'll shut up.)

I agree with regard to the goodness of most women. However, she specifically referred to using her looks to gain unfair advantage in work place. I pointed out that it's not cool to do so, and then they argue with me about it? Why not tell me I have no right to judge someone who steals? That's exactly what using looks to gain unfair advantage at work is. It's stealing opportunities from others by unfair, unethical, and illegal behavior. Full stop.

I'm going to introduce you and Lily to some feminists. They'll set you straight. In addition, those things are illegal in the workplace and school and against all workplace and school rules and policies for good reasons. It's unethical and immoral and any business manager, school administrator, law maker, or feminist knows why. Not to mention it's poor character. My judgement is in line with the culture and policies of every institution both private and government in the USA. I'm not telling you my opinion of it. I'm telling you it's wrong and universally accepted and known as wrong.

Don't confuse smart with ruthless. There is a huge difference. One is about intelligence. The other is about character.

Quite frankly, I could be happy with A or B. Why? Well, A would be great, if she really will be forever. B would be great too, because it makes it all the easier to get A. Can't go wrong either way.

Not true. I know smart, beautiful women who make it a point of character not to use their looks to gain unfair advantage in the workplace or in school. I respect them greatly. In romance, that's different because all is fair in love and war. In romance you take every advantage you can.

You have to watch Dako closely because he's almost as shifty as I am.