missbrittanyy
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Everything posted by missbrittanyy
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thank you both so much i am going into grade 12. yeah i have lots of friends but they all live in calgary, and i moved to this really small town where i dnt feel like i fit in, so i don't really do much, i mostly spent all of my time with my boyfriend and his friends. i was recently in a car accident with him, and i have scars on my face, and they are adding to my depression a lot. i am finally in with a trauma therapist. so i hope that can begin to help me
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i have never seen the journal section i am not that familliar with this site. thank you socks1w. i think the people around me, and stuff have a lot to do with how unhappy i am, not to mention how unhappy i am with my self. i can't stand my parents very much.. . and it's not like i am in any posistion to up and move away from them.. and i just lost my boyfriend of 11 months, and i am trying to deal with the mutation of my face in my car accident, and i just don't know how to deal very well
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Well I wouldn't really say I am suicidal. I am however, unbearably, unhappy with my life, and my self. I've never felt so unworthy in my life, and it hurts so much. I would never have the guts to kill my self, but I wish every single day I died in my car accident. I don't wanna feel like this, and I hate talking to people because I hate being judged, or told what's right for me, if I don't know, how should anybody else? I am tired of constantly crying my self to sleep, and not wanting to get out of bed every day. And I don't know how to deal with it.
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when i was laying in bed last night i tried to picture my self with some one else.. having sex with some one eelse.. in some one elses arms, and all of it disgusted me, i dont want any on else. right now my heart still completely belongs to him
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i dont think people post here, to be judged.
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i think we both lost our outside lives to our relationship, and didn't spend enough time apart. and im sure that's what caused so much fighting. but right now im pretty much on bed rest, and can't just get up and do all these things. im not aloud in the sun, and im on crutches for a few months. so it's been hard. and it bothered me lots that i'd be stuck at home, in bed, and he'd be off partying and doing whatever. it kinda made me feel like he didn't even care what i was going through. so i wasn't very understanding in return, that he needed a break. it just hurts so much i don't wanna lose him
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me and my most recent boyfriend (broke up yesterday) had a 9 year age difference. im 17 and he's 26
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i think also, part of me would be afraid something serious happened to them. this is a pickle
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if somebody took off on me. Yes id be curiouse as to where.. and why.. if it was because of me.. other reasons etc.. but if they cant take the time to contact you and inform you.. why waste your time?
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Well me and my boyfriend, broke up.. I guess it's been coming, but we've gotten through so much, that I figured we could get through anything. This was the first guy I pictured my self with for the rest of my life, I would have been more than happy to spend my life with him. I was in love. It's so hard because I am not willing to give up, I don't want to let him go.. Im not ready to say goodbye. And I don't know how. Every one keeps saying "your young, this is going to happen a million more times. It's not the end of the world. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" a statement i know is very true. But at the moment. It's not helping, I don't want to go through a million more break ups, I don't want to be with a million more guys, I want THIS ONE. And its not the end of the world. But for me, at this moment, it really feels like it is.. And it hasn't killed me, but I pretty much feel like im dying inside. This is my first longterm relationship, and I don't know how to do it. I forget who I was with out him. He was my best friend, I hung out with him and his friends. I've changed in the last year. Im different. And im not good at being alone. Im so confused and hurt that I don't even know what to write here, so im probably just babbling. And it makes me so mad that I stuck by him through a really bad drug addiction.. And I stuck by him through having a child. IM SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD AND MY BOYFRIEND HAS A BABY. In my opinion, I held my own very well.. I don't think many girls, let alone many seventeen year old girls, would be strong enough to deal with a boyfriend going through something so serious, then having a baby with another woman. And then we get in a car accident, that was caused out of his stupidity.. And I've hurt so much, and I've had many many mood swings. And he cant stick by me through it. He just cant "deal with it any more." I just don't know what to do .. I just want him back I love him. Please help me.
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I am 17. and my boyfriend is a lot older than me, he is 25.. and i don't drive so i guess i didnt notice that he was speeding and such
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i never really knew how fast he was going, or paid attention to the speed limit, i dont usually stare at the speedometer, when im driving with people. and it didnt look or feel like we were going very fast.
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a "boys trip" i can go camping, i just have to wear full sunblock on my face, and a hat that shades all my face, and i have a wheele chair. but my problem is just that i'd pretty much sit there, even if we were all going.. and he can go out and have fun, and do this, and do that, and he doesnt take me with him. he just sits at home with me. yay? not. but anyway i told him if he goes camping i am not sitting home alone all weekendd so i am going to calgary (cause i used to live there) and now he's saying im just going to see my ex boyfriends.. i dont think he gets taht I LOOK LIKE A FREAKING MONSTER. my face is gross, i dont want anybody to see it. uhg im so frusterated though
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thank you both. i just dont know when i am crossing the line. like how much time should i expect him to be with me. i dont expect him to give up his life. but like this weekend he was gonna go camping. and i guess i get resentful. because he can go camping, and do all the summer fun stuff. and he fricken did this to me.
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maybe, but i know i wouldn't tell just anybody that kind of stuff.
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the thing is.. how often should i expect him to be by my side. as i said in the post above, yeah he has said sorry a million times. he's said he wishes it was him instead of me, he stayed in the hospital for a week after the accident, he helped bathe me when i got home, he stayed the night here every weekend. and cried a lot... but it was like as soon as i was getting a little better.. getting personality back. being bale to do some thing sfor my self, he spend less and less time with me.
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well i have been able to be a little more mobile now. i still can't walk very far. and im on crutches until september, but i have a walker. that i sit on to cook and stuff. and because of boredome, and being frusterated im finding my own ways to do things.. yes he appologizes all the time, he took the week off work to spend in the hospital with me, and cried the entire time, and he always tells me it shoulda been him and not me. i am lucky, but i am also scared. what if i have to get more face work done? my plastic surgeon told me in a year or so it might be something to be done.. or what if im not growing, and have to have the plate and screws removed, and uhg, im just frusterated, and scared.
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thank you for your post. it makes a lot of sense to me
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absolutly. but once again, my problem is, that i feel like i put my life in his hands and he chose to risk it.
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haha thanks for the advise, my lawyer told me if i wanted to see a counselor he would set me up with a lady who deals with traumas from i think just accidents.. and i have really been thinking about doing so. i know what you mean about the drugs. in the hospital they were staggering morphine, gravol, t3's, and adavan. they told me i couldnt leave the hospital until i was off the morphine, so i was on it until the day before i left.. but tried to get off it too soon so my pain wasnt under control anymore.. the only drugs i was taking at home still are t3's and adavan, and my surgeon told me i wasn't aloud anymore because i went through too many pills in little time, and i was supposed to stagger them with just normal extra strength tylonal.. i still rely on gravol a lot to put me to sleep, and i pretty well think adavan is the best drug ever invented.
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this was my first car accident either, so i havent really known how to deal with it. i know that my injuries, probably could ahve been prevented if i was wearing my seatbelt, it's mostly the thought that i put my life in my boyfriends hands, and he chose to risk it.. is the thought that bothers me.
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i think that maybe it just took her a while longer to know she could come out and tell you the truth with out you judging her too much. she was probably too scared and unsure of what you'd think of her at first. it's normal for you to feel betrayed, and feel like you don't know her now.. but atleast she came out, and told you, despite how long it took. so in my opinion you just have to ask your self.. if her holding off telling you these things for a while is worth a) beating her up over. b) beating your self up over. c) risking your relationship with the girl you claim is the one you're meant to be with
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on june 15th me and my boyfriend were in a fairly serious car accident. my boyfriend was at fault, but my injuries could have easily been prevented. he was driving 80 around a 30 km 90 degree corner, in bad road conditions, and missed the corner, we went air born off of a ditch, and smashed into a tree. i wasnt wearing my seatbelt *(Completely my fault)* and my face shattered the winshield, and i broke my leg. i've never ever been through something so traumatising.. being buckled down to a spine board in a neck brace, covered in blood, head taped to the board.. i was terrified.. at first all i cared about was if me and my boyfriend were going to be alright. i was sent in for CT scans, and then xrays. my boyfriend was fine, just a few bumps and bruises, and a sore hip. i had a concussion, severe abrations on the face, and a severe fracture of the leg. in the morning i met with a surgeon who told me he wanted to do my surgery on my leg immediately, but it got post poned until the next day because i had to get work done to my face, as well, but they only wanted to put me under once. i got out of the hospital 10 days later. and my life changed drastically.. the time in the hospital, and for quite a while after, i couldn't bathe my self, or shower my self, i was being washed by a care giver.. i couldnt just get up and go as i pleased, i couldnt cook i couldnt clean. i cant go out in the sun because of the scars on my face.. i couldnt do absolutly anything, i layed in bed and felt sorry for my self. *(which i learned, is not the best way to go about a healing process)* the more i started to feel sorry for my self, it started to turn into hate towards my boyfriend.. all i could think about was.. he did this to me.. i put my life in his hands, and he chose to risk it. I never talked to him about how i felt.. i just took it out on him in other ways.. when he wasnt at my side, i'd be a jerk to him because i expected that because i couldnt go anywhere or do anything.. he should be right there beside me.. and i never said that.. i'd just be rude. and stir up fights.. it's now been a little over a month since the accident, and i finally told him how i felt.. and how i blamed him.. with that. i decided im never going to be happy in this relationship, or treat him right, until i can stop blaming him, and start to forgive him. i really need advise on how i should go about the forgiving process. because if i dont learn how to cope, and deal with it soon, im going to sabatoge my relationship. thanks ahead of time for any responses.
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i just mean.. would it be a bad decission to first of all try and be a head strong person and talk to him and tell him how i feel.. or should i just say screw it
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so would it make me naive and stupid. to try and stand up for my self, and see if it works