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Shan-Tilly

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  1. Shan-Tilly
    Thanks. I think that information will help me communicate better with my fiance.
  2. Shan-Tilly
    Thank you for the advice. I do want to mention, however, that we have watched porn together...He never initiates it though. When I rent a video like that he acts like he is very uncomfortable. He says he feels weird watching with me there, because he said it feel bad to be looking at that with me right there...not that it doesn't lead to other things, but he seems pretty uncomfortable about it. So, I quit doing it, and then he looks it up when I'm in the hospital. The fact that I was in the hospital when he did it is what really made me mad about the whole thing. We have talked about it though...I think things are going to be fine. Any advice or answers about him feeling uncomfortable watching with me?
  3. Shan-Tilly
    Well, for those of you who know, I have asked before if I should stay with my fiance because he cheated on me once in December of 2000. I thought that I was over that finally, and had forgiven but not forgotten...unfortunately I have another problem. I was recently in the hospital (nothing serious...just getting my medication straightened out that was causeing me to be sick)...anyways I was admitted Sunday night and got home on Tuesday afternoon. I found out that my fiance had looked up pictures of naked women on the internet on Monday night. It made me very angry. So, when he got off work I casually asked him when the last time he looked up porn on the net was and he said it was a long time ago. Well, I told him that I new otherwise, and he said he was tired from just getting off work and couldn't think. Now, I don't appreciate being lyed to, and I have griped him out for that...I wanted to know if this is a sign that he'll cheat on me again, or if you think it's just normal guy stuff.
  4. Shan-Tilly
    Be careful and good luck...also, if she gets into another situation where she has stood you up to go to a party where the same guy is I'd recommend just being friends with her.
  5. Shan-Tilly
    This may not be the case in this situation, but a female friend of mine was in a relationdhip that sounds similar to the one you are in...he never officially asked her to be "girlfriend/monogomous"...Anyways, someone asked her in front of him if they were together as a couple...Her response was "No.We're just friends." Now she wasn't seeing anyone else, and she didn't want to...What she did do though, was confuse him and he did ask her to be his one and only...so, they ended up happy. Guess you could make it official and see what happens...or just tell her you know what she said and ask her about and tell her how you preceive the relationship. Good Luck.
  6. Shan-Tilly

    Paranoid!!!

    Shan-Tilly replied to Net's topic in Infidelity

    Have you met the guy? Do you know for a fact he knows she's with you now? These are questions that need answered...also, it sounds like she wasn't really over him to begin with. Maybe you and her should just try being friends until the trust and communication either gets better or you see that she was not the one. I think if you broke it off with her that she will go out with the other guy...If she does within a few week of you breaking up with her, then I'd say she probably would've been messing with him on the side anyway.
  7. Shan-Tilly
    I can understand that if there were problems in the relationship before, that she might want to take things slowly so as not to mess them up again. However, from what you said it doesn't seem like she really wants to be in a commited relationship with you. It may be because of you treating her badly to begin with and she can't trust you, or she may be to immature for a commited relationship right now. I agree with what was said before about her not being trustworthy and also that a woman doesn't stand someone up if she's really interested (especially not to go to some party).
  8. Shan-Tilly
    Thanks for the advice to everyone. Guess I just needed to know if I was makeing the right decisions or not...I have told him that the engagement is off for now, but we're still together as a couple.
  9. Shan-Tilly
    I don't know if he is abuseing his teacher/student relationship with you. I believe that the lack of haveing a father around has given you an empty space that needs filled up. I think the best thing to do would be to talk to your mother or grandmother or and older sister if any one of them are available to you. If he is touching you in a way that only a husband/boyfriend should touch you, then that is very wrong on his part and you should tell someone immediately...your mother or a school counsler.
  10. Shan-Tilly
    I had asked previously about weather or not I should marry my fiance...well I left some important info. out (I think it is important aanyway). Basically I agree with those who said I shouldn't get married if I am haveing doubts...My true question that I guess I was afraid to ask is this I played and will he play me again?[/b] THE FACTS: 1.He was a virgin when I met him. 2.He cheated on me about three and a half months after we'd been dateing. 3.He didn't tell me he loved me until the night he told me that he had cheated on me...about four hours after confessing. 4.He proposed within two weeks of #3 Please Help! I don't want to be a fool, but I love him...I think
  11. Shan-Tilly
    I agree with toolgirl150...Also, I was in a bad relationship before, and it does carry on into other relationships if you don't take care of it...Good Luck.
  12. Shan-Tilly
    I kinda agree with your suggestion on waiting before commiting to anything I am unsure about. However, the incident did happen quit awhile ago, and I feel like I should have been able to get over what happened by now. I have tried talking to him...I tell him I love him but that I still have trust issues because of what happened...he usually says something along the line of "I told you I'm sorry, and that it won't happen again." Then he acts annoyed with me.
  13. Shan-Tilly
    Well, I am a woman so maybe I can help...then again maybe not. It sounds to me that she felt betrayed or very emotionally hurt by something that you either did or did not do. What I mean is...some women want men to read thier mind and know what they want and need. Yes, it is very assumeing and not very wise on our part. Also, it sounds like she may have some issues with something(s) that have happened in her past. You can't make her talk to you, which you know by now. My sympathy goes out to you, and hopefully you can find closure somehow.
  14. Shan-Tilly
    My advice: I think she is probably interested in you...maybe you could just ask her to go to lunch or something casual (without the group). You wouldn't necessarily have to call it a "date"...See what her reaction is to that.
  15. Shan-Tilly
    This is just my opinion...If you have an affair with her and she doesn't leave her husband then it will probably end badly with the two of you no longer friends. Now, if she does leave him eventually for you, then who can say that later down the road she won't have an affair on you. It's something to think about. Be careful.
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