whatif

Diggity Excellent advice.

How are you Curly? We haven't heard from you lately. Keep us informed of your condition and whereabouts.

When my EX told me that she doesn't feel the same, I knew there was something wrong. Sure enough, I later discovered that she has been talking to another guy and been wanting to see the grass on the other side of the fence. If you are not feeling the same because you have somebody else in your mind, please try to stay away from that person for a period of time and see if you feel any different. It takes self discipline and unconditional love. Unless the relationship is an abusive one, you have a chance and obligation to give an honest try to fix it. It is doable. Good luck.

I personally do not view email as a lame method of communication when it comes to reestablishing an old connection. My first serious relationship started through a series of email conversations. Like frisco said, email generates least pressure on the recipient.

He didn't want to be an * * * by not replying to your email. That is all I can see from his action. If he was thinking about you and wants to get back with you, he would have added you back in MSN. I know how desperate we all can get when it comes to hoping for our EX's attention again. He is just trying to be a gentleman at this point. Don't get your hopes up. Keep up your NC and make him miss you.

I finally witnessed my worst nightmare on Saturday night. I went to Barnes & Nobles to study, the place we used to hang out all the time, and saw her car parked there. I was hoping to see her and talk to her but didn't look for her. I sat in Caffe and started studying. I was nervous and looking around for a while. Guess what I saw after a while, the guy who used to talk to her and caused the break up walked right by me. I had a heart attack but he doesn't really know me or recognize me. After an hour, I saw them walking out the place together, and I couldn't restrain myself from going to the side and look through the window. She got into her car, sat on the driver seat, he is standing outside, chitchatting, and next thing you know he goes around and got into her car. Just like we used to do. She pulled out the car and parked a little farther in the same parking lot where not a lot of people walk by. Just like we used to do. You can only imagine what happened after that. I am sure it would be just like what we did. I felt horrible and once again lost my sleep that night. But now, now I am feeling a sense of closure and I am no longer hoping for her phone calls, texts, or emails. I think less of her and feel angry. I think in my case, it is helping me to move on.

A few remedies that are working for me: 1. Get a joke book that relates to love and dating. "Love's funny that way" is a good one and it made me laugh even when I was hurting bad 2. Try to think of one of the several instances when your ex initiated a fight wihout much reason or an instance where she disrespected you or humiliated you. (do it at least twice a day-You gotta force yourself to do this one) 3. Think of girl that you wish you could date when you were in the relationship, and hope that might happen when everything settle down 4. Do not lay around on the bed in the morning and ponder your thoughts, get up and start watching news or good morning America 5. Go to libraries or Starbucks, have a coffe, read the news paper, and meet other people 6. Keep posting and reading great messages from complete strangers.

My ex and I have been separated for more than 2 months and I tried to stick with NC several times. The problem is that she works in the same building (separate sections) and I always find an excuse to go talk to her at least once a week. After that it hurts like hell. She is already going out with another guy, and I still can't seem to stay away from her. I don't call her or anything but I have this irresitable urge to go and talk to her for a couple of mts. I received a scholarship from my university and I found out about it today. Althought I thought about it so many times, I finally went to her and showed her the award letter. She was happy to know about the scholarship but didn't show any other feelings. Now I am hurting like crap. I wish she wasn't working at the same place.

Let me assure you, it is much easier to deal with your situation. It is much more painful and frustrating when your ex leave for someone else. I wish I was in your situation. Now, remember one thing, most of the exs who says they want 'time', 'space', 'break', 'room' etc etc most likely have someone in mind that they want to move onto, but just don't want to tell you about it. That's exactly how my ex did, but I found out about it and confronted her. I wasn't about to let her go so easily like that. S L U T

Curlygirl Most of us on this site had or have or are going throught the same situation as you are. When we read your story, we feel disgusted and angry about the fact that you are still trying to get him back after all the crap he had done. But the fact is that we all would have done the same if our EXs come back to us in the same way. I still love my ex girl and I found out she is going out with a guy I hated, but if she shows a tiny interest in coming back to me, I think I will welcome her with all my heart. Our minds are very weak when we are lonely and we hope to hang on to any threads we can find. I hope you recover soon and erase him from your life. It's going to take time and patience, but we all must do it. Take care.

Just take things slowly and be in control. You will be fine. Be prepared to be dumped and hurt again.

that's the problem we all have. Although, 5 months is a relatively long time, it's hard to completely forget about an ex love. You will forget her once you get involved in another relationship and fall in love. The only way to take her off your mind. Then, and only then, you might see her running back to you. What a dilemma huh.

We all dumpees know how it feels... No matter what they do, we want to forgive them and accept them back into our life. But guess what, when you are so forgiving, he is going to find more ways to make you exercise your forgiveness. He knows you will be there no matter what he does. So why don't he go have some fun. I bet most married men wouldn't mind to go and have a relationship with another girl if the wife would forgive him and accept him back into her life without any consequences. its time to put your foot down and override your emotions. If you even want to keep the slight chance of getting him back for good, you must be assertive and strong about your behavior. DO NOT let him walk all over you like a 'door mat'. Remember, you are not a damn door mat. It might seems impossible right now, but you will be able to move on and find somebody better in the future. Good luck.

My last relationship, I was always there for her and she dumped me. I said, "remember when your grandma died? I was there. Remember when you flunked out of school? I was there. Remember when you lost your job? I was there!" She said, "I know, you're a bad luck." - Tom Arnold "Let's still be friends." Translation: "If you still want to buy me stuff, I'm OK with that" - Devin Dugan She says, "I love you, but we can't be together", You say, "So I guess when you hate me, you'll call me, and we can be a couple again" - Michele Balan My boyfriend and I broke up because I went over to his house unannounced. He was upset that I'd come over without calling first, especially since he was there with another woman. He trusted me, and I let him down. - Grace White The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?" - David Spade I asked my ex, "Do you think we'll get back togther?" She said, "I think the chances are better of me putting Super Unleaded into a rented car." - David Spade When you get back together with an ex, it's pathetic. It's like having a garage sale and buying your own stuff back. - Laura Kightlinger Hope you all get a smile out it.

Thank you all. I am not going to pursue anything anymore. I have done some damage and I guess that's enough for me to get my rage out. I am planning to move on with my life.