RMGTaz
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Posts
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Another update: I received an email from him yesterday that pretty much said that, while this isn't what he wants, he understands that I am not coming back and we have to move on. Thank god!!!! We are currently putting together lists of what each of us want and then will head to mediation. It has made this difficult situation much easier. I am in such a good place, emotionally right now. I know thatthere will be potholes to navigate in the coming months, but I have a great support system and will make it through.
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You guys are the best! And...DRB...THANKS!!!!!! Nothing like someone trying to tell you you are just making a quick decision....it's enough that he thinks I have gone off the deep end and am making a mistake....
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Thanks, I have a feeling I just might be leaning on you guys....
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Thanks. I believe that you have to trust in that you will do the right thing. Not necessarily what other people think is the right thing, but what you know in your heart is right. On another note, I just found out that he invited my parents over this morning to talk and has convinced them that he can change and make it all better. So....when I go home to their house tonight, I face them trying to convince me to go back. That is playing really unfair! Like this decision isn't hard enough for me...
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UPDATE: Thank you all for your kind words and helpful advice. I have made the decision to not go back. I moved out last week and am currently living with my parents. Yeah, that sucks... I know a lot of you have encouraged me to try to work it all out. The problem is that This marriage has been broken for a very long time. We have both made mistakes. There are personality traits that he simply is unable to change. I suppose the same is true of me. I know my kids will be hurt by this, but a mom that is there 100% physically, but way less than 100% emotionally isn't good for them either. Now, the hard part of telling him....
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I walk on egg shells all the time so that he doesn't get upset. Please don't think that he is abusive in anyway. He isn't. He has a temper, he gets upset and yells, slams doors. When I offer up my opinion and it disagrees with his, he will tell me I am wrong for feeling that way. Our sex life is hit and miss at best. It isn't that we fight all the time. We don't. But we simply don't connect. It sounds so trite when I say it that way, but living a lie isn't what I want. I have been trying to force feelings for him for a long time....
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For those of you with kind words, thank you. I am not some young thing looking for the easy way out. I KNOW it will be difficult for my kids. I did not come to this decision lightly. We have done the therapy route, more times than I can count. I am not just tossing it all away. Would it be better for my kids for me to stay and be miserable? I don't want to reach the point of resenting them or hating him. And , btw andy stone, you don't know me, you don't know my situation, so stuff it.
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I finally told my hubby of nearly 20 years that I just don't feel the same about him any more. I know I have broken his heart. And I still face having to tell the kids (14 and 12) that we are splitting up. How do you face every one who is going to think I am making a big mistake? Everyone thought our marriage was great....