fromfaraway

Thank you guys for the feedback lilgothicdevil5533 wrote: -- well if she feels the same and u also like her i think that you should give it one more try? She actually emailed me a couple of times this year, and the second time she was VERY friendly. I was wondering whether she wants to establish contact again. She is very shy, and may be that what makes her be not very aggressive. Is her emailing me after two years and half of breaking up a sign that she may still have feelings? Alice 1987 wrote: --You should try some activities, go hang out with your friends, watch movies, etc. do other stuff to keep your mind busy from refraining to that one person. I am actually a very busy person. I have just finished my undergraduate degree, and I feel very content. I go see movies, and do lots of fun stuff. The thing is that she is always on the back of my mind! DN wrote: --If you think there is a chance she may get back together with you then go for it - you have nothing to lose. If she does want you that would be great - if she does not then you can take that as final closure and decide that you will move on to someone who does want you. The only reason we broke off because she moved out of town. She did the breaking up. So, the reason is still there!!! Guest12345678 vbmenu_register("postmenu_1140887", true); wrote: --If both of you have immediate connection and treat each other very well, why it did not work out? --Is she still single? 1) She was afraid of committment. It was her first every thing(relationship, love, sexual experience,....). 2)I have no idea.

Thanks anonymous. It did not work out because we fell in love. It was her first relationship so she was very scared. We treated each other so well, and we had an immediate connection...

Thank you girls for writing I simply loved her very dearly. We were each other's first loves. She emailed me twice recently, and now she lives out of town. When she run into me last time, a friend who was there--he did not know who she was--said that it was clear she liked me a lot from the way she spoke with me. I wish if this feeling just goes away!!!

Hi all, Is it normal not be be able to get over someone even three years after the relationship ended? We were together for only three MONTHS. It feels as if it happened yesterday...any suggestions to how to deal move on for real???

Thanks considerate empath ! She was so excited about me, so she wanted to take our relationship to the next step. She invited me to go to meet her parents in Chicago. Her parents are divorced, and they live separately. I called her there once, and she was not there, but I talked to her sister. My ex told me later that her sister was very excited to talk to me, but that was NOT the impression I got. They are Jewish and I am from a group that does not have great realtions with Jews currently. After that she changed the plan, and I did not go to meet her family. She broke up with me as soon as she came back, but she wanted to hang out with me and see me. She always seemed very keen at doing things with me and at being around me--she said that to me as well. I was so lost and confused. before me, she would freak out after hanging out with a guy for about a month. She never had a serious relationship. I wonder whether it had any thing with her parents divorce. As far as I am concerned, I tried to tell her that I accept her the way she is. I deeply loved her, and was willing to do whatever takes to make her feel secure. I hope this helps. fromfaraway.

Thanks guest for your reply! What do other people think?

Hi, I am sorry to hear about your problem. I am sure it must be very frustrating. You asked whether guys like to give oral to women, and let me tell you that I do not have an answer to that question. There are all types of guys that do different things. As far as I am concerned, it depends. If I love the woman, then giving her oral will be something I would love to do. If I am not at that stage, I am not so sure. Also, cleaness makes a huge difference. That is beaing said, I do not ask for it either. I am usually content with foreplay and sex !

Hello everyone , I have a question concerning an ex girlfriend. So I met this girl more than two years ago. I was 25 and she was 23. I was her boyfriend, her first lover, and her first every thing. She is very shy, and because of her childhood she developed a fear of commitment(she is the most faithful person I have ever seen. She is very shy as well). We fell for each other so deeply, and she wanted to see her parents in Chicago. After that she had a panic attack, and she broke it off. we tried to be friends, but it did not work out: it did not feel real. She was always very interested to talk to me and be around me. We did not speak for two years. A few months ago, she sent me a short email to say hi. I replied very quickly and was very excited. I suppose I freaked her out so she did not write again. I ran into her recently, and she seemed very happy to see me. She was with her family and I was with a friend. We chatted briefly, and my friend--without knowning who she was--told me that it was obvious that this girl liked me a lot. A couple of days later, I received a very friendly email from her. I waited for a few days and answered in a very friendly way as well--she always told me she thinks I am the best person she has ever known. What do you guys think about all of this? Do you think that she still has feelings for me or that she is just being friendly? As for me, I still care for her very much. Do you think it is a good idea to send her a friendly note from time to time, or just drop it? Thanks you very much for any feedback! Yours trully, Fromfaraway

Dear Jax, I feel your pain. This is very unfair to you. I think you may need to talk to him about it. For your protection, in the future never put personal information in a forum. They, or someone who knows them personally, may come accross this and they may do things to hurt you. You will get advice from people here without giving too much information. With my warmest regards, Fromfaraway!

happy 1975, This does seem mean. I would not do that!

Hi Taffy, I think what you feel is the result of abuse. Deep down you are afraid of being judged and rejected by others. Prolonged abuse has this effect on people, and I was one of them. Believe me: it does get better. What I will do if I were you is that I will close my eyes and imagine myself walking in a garden. Then I see a child that is very distressed and scared. I will hug her, kiss her on her cheek and put her on my lap and tell her that all is going to be alright. The child you just met is yourself...

Taffy, Your symptoms are quite normal for someone who has had a similar experience. I had shaking as well. It went away now. You have taken the most important step already: seeking help and be willing to talk about how you feel. I am sure you will find people who will care about you and cherish you, just keep it up. Do not rush things. Things were done to you over a long period of time, but they will be undone. Take great care of yourself.

Miracle, Thanks for the tip. I think Taffy will not mind as your comment and mine do in fact fall in the spirit of her thread. I do think that you are right. My door is open for her when she needs me. Although I am not interested in being in a relationship with her at the moment, I cannot shake my feelin of compassion for her. It is my nature, and I am happy I am this way. I will give what you have said a serious thought, and will see what the future brings. Sincerely, fromfaraway!

Hi Tafty, I am actually a man I have already posted here but here some more. I dated a girl that was very scared of men. I was not sure why, though. She was very inexperienced and for some reason not very open to men. I have always accepted her the way she is and tried to help. She broke up with me two years ago, and we were not able to keep contact: it was too painful. After two years she contacted me again, and as soon as I responded she runs away. My friends advised me to send her a nasty email and ask her to go away, but I have not. What I am trying to make her understand is this: your feelings are valid, sweetheart. You are scared and I will not push you to tell me why you are. However, if you ever need me I am hear. I love you so dearly! I am not sure whether this is a typical reaction a guy will have towards a girl that is scared to death of intimacy, but I can speak for myself. Yes, it is ok that the ones you love are scared. There are reasons for that, and the most important thing is we make them understand we love them. I wish she just gives me a chance to help her. Ok, that is how I think about that. fromfaraway!

I had similar experiences. I have experienced all kinds of abuse: verbal, physical, and sexual. I think therapy will help you a lot if you find a good therapist, but also you need to make a CLEAR commitment to help yourself. I mean you need to invest some time, and be willing to make some changes in your life if necessary. Seeking a therapist is a very healthy sign, and also it is very amazing that you have realized that it is about time you sought help of a professional. I have been on therapy for about three years. I am over most of those issue that made me almost dysfunctional. I attend an IVY league school now, and have the healthiest life possible. I would not have imagined I will ever go this far. As for the abusers, I have gained insights into them as well over the years. They are the ones with the real problems and insecurities. They are not courageous enough to face themselves and change, so they project all those insecurities onto someone else. It is wrong, and sometimes it is necessary to learn to stop people from doing that to you. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. And most importnatly do NOT blame yourself for any of it: you were the VICTIM. I am so glad you are doing this although I do not know you. Best of luck for you, dear. Yes, we can change ourselves. Please keep us informed of how things go. Warmly, A survivor of all types of abuse

Dear Lonelyangel, I feel you. I understand that life canbe very rough and sometimes we see no way out. However, there is always a way out. Just try to focus on the positive things in your life. Breath deeply and try to relax. Over this weekend, I was so depressed then I tried to relax and pull myself out. Today I feel much better. You are only 17. You are so young . I understand how you feel but I am sure you feel much better very soon. If you feel down, come here and let others share your sadness. Yes, it is ok to be sad! I do not know you, but your post is very touching... Take great care of yourself, young angel

Hi everyone I am new to this forum. My ex just sent me an email after 2 years of NC. We were much in love. I was her first love, boyfriend, lover and every thing. She was young and confused(23), and she ended up breaking up with me. We tried to stay friends, but it never worked. I still think about her and could not get over her, and here what she said in the email: Hi xxx, I was curious to find out what you are up to. How is every thing going? Did you end up going to the school you planned to go to? best, yyyy I answered with an email telling her what I have been up to. Then I asked her if I could call her because email is a terrible way of communication. She said it would be best if I do not call. I am a bit confused, and do not understand why she contacted me in the first place. She is very shy, so if I ask her she may just run away... Any thoughts? Any suggestions to how I should go from here?