strawberry

Supercal, the anger will subside but believe me, it will go in waves Thats what happens to me. Some days Ill wake up SO angry for no reason. Then others, I feel nothing. And your post made me laugh...yes I would like to tell him a few truths myself but Im holding back right now. Im trying not to act irrationally, but I might have to. He honestly acts like we never dated and we're just buddies. It really makes me angry but what can I do? He is borderline crazy and Im starting to realize that. Its sad.

I made it through 4 months of NC and then I saw him to which he started calling me to complain about his gf that he LEFT ME for pulling away from him. I still talk to him because I feel bad for him, but in the back of my mind, Im thinking, why the hell am I doing this to myself? he made his bed!

Day 13..... I actually felt good the last 2 weeks until today. I think the reality is finally starting to set in. The NC was my decision and as much as I miss my best friend, how can I be friends with someone that completely disregarded my feelings during our break-up? It just sucks. Im having trouble accepting that he is NOT the same person anymore. I miss someone that doesn't even exist.

my fear is that he wont respond and it will be so AWKWARD. wouldnt he make a move on me by now if he was interested?

I want to tell him....but hasnt he made it clear through his words that he sees me as more of a sister....but then I think about the laying together like you mentioned. I just dont want to repeat myself and seem obsessive.

Hi everyone, just to get the basic gist of what im about to complain about refer to my post about my guy friend from work. Ok, since then, which has been about a month and a half....we've become SO CLOSE. it doesnt seem normal to me. At first I thought he was gay...but then hes talked about his exgirlfriends around me a lot...and it doesnt sound like hes lying. I dont know. The thing is, it doesnt seem like "just" friendship. I get so many mixed signals. Whenever we hang out (usually at his place) we have some cocktails, listen to music...and sometimes he'll make elaborate dinners for me....buy wine etc. Lately (the last few times Ive been over) we've ended up lying together on his bed, under the covers, with my head on his chest and his arm around me. I usually fall asleep and he'll make comments like, "I could tell my company really interests you" but we're just friends so it shouldnt bother him. He knows, or at least knew at one point in the past that I liked him. Its been 2 months since my boyfriend and I broke up. For awhile I thought he liked me, but then he mentioned something to me about one of our colleagues asking him or teasing him about liking me and his response, which he told me was "there is nothing between us." Its honestly driving me insane. We decided, even a week ago, to promise to go on a trip together this summer to visit his parents and go to NYC...just the two of us because his mom wants to meet me? He also told my dad, whom he met a few weeks ago that he has never met anyone like me.....he has never connected with someone on so many levels in his life than he does with me. He also bought me valentines day presents and a card. We say I love you in a serious way all the time....and he always gives me kisses on the cheek or neck when saying goodbye. sometimes we walk down the street with our arms around each other. This is why its a problem. Im abs. CRAZY about him and I feel like hes taking me for a ride. Its starting to show too. The last night I was there, I woke up in his arms angry. I realized that my fantasy of us being together was never going to amount to anything, or so I believe. I left kinda annoyed but tried to play it off. I decided to put some space between us for the sake of my sanity. But he kept calling/texting. Today he asked me if I was upset with him on the way home from work....I chickened out and said no...I mean what can I say? I dont want to freak him out. We made plans to go out to dinner and watch a movie at his place tomorrow but theres a part of me thats resisting. Hes my best friend.....but is this best friend behavior? Whats odd is that when I told him I was interested 3 months ago, he told me he was very attracted to me, but it couldnt work whatever that means.....(hes 7 years older than me if that may have something to do with it.) Hes just SO affectionate....What should I do??? please help...I feel like im losing it.

ok, update. So when he came over for dinner, granted we drank 2 bottles of wine but before i knew it, he was laying with his head in my lap and i was running my fingers through his hair. Friends dont do that right?

I do sometimes. Maybe its just a comfort thing and he needs time to get comfortable talking to you about that stuff. How long have you been sexual with each other?

Ok, so heres the situation. I've had this guy friend at work ever since I moved here (6 months ago). At the time I was living with my boyfriend. Our relationship was coming to an end and I was always complaining etc. Even though I was still living with my boyfriend at the time, I began spending more and more time with my "friend." We have a lot in common and he just understands me. We hung out so much that I told him I liked him (yes, while I was still w/ my boyfriend). He told me he was flattered but uninterested. So I figured he wouldnt want to hang out w/ me much anymore thinking I deceitful to my boyfriend and had an ulterior motive for him in mind. Yet the opposite happened. We began hanging out even more. Recently, I just broke up with my boyfriend and moved into my own apartment. This friend and I used to talk once every few days and now he texts me every day asking how I am etc. Hes also not a phone talker and wants me to call him all the time. I know hes just trying to be a good friend b/c I've been having a hard time dealing with the breakup but it seems like theres more going on. Example, the other night he asked me to dinner and after, payed. He wouldnt let me pay my half and he even grabbed my purse and carried it out of the restaurant for me while I put my coat on. Also, we went to a party a few nights ago and the whole time we were talking to other people, yet I kept catching him staring at me until finally he came over. I mentioned I wanted to leave and he asked me not to leave until he left so he could walk me home. Everytime we go out, he always ends up around me when he drinks telling me he loves me and Im so "great" bla bla bla. Im having him over for dinner tomorrow night and for some reason, Im feeling nervous. Ive always liked him but he outright told me he didnt like me 2 months ago. Is he just a friend?

yeah thats a tough one. Im in a similar sit. with a guy i told i liked and he turned me down. But since I told him we've been hanging out ALL the time. sometimes i feel like he likes me now, but yeah this a rough situation. you dont want to put yourself out there twice and get shut down. my advice would be to let her make the first move....unless you're ok with getting turned down again. if she likes you enough, she'll act. good luckkkk

ugh pleeeease someone give some advice

Hi everyone. Ok, so this is a really sensitive subject, but I need you advice. (Im really freaking out). So I just recovered from anorexia about 2 years ago. (I had it for 1 year in college).And now Im in graduate school, but recently I decided to quit. (the program just isnt for me). As you can see from my previous post, Im in a somewhat odd relationship with my boyfriend and we're living together in chicago. Since I decided to leave graduate school, Im not doing well, and I cant seem to finish the semester (I only have 3 weeks left). Also, (I havent told anyone this yet) but I've been throwing up a lot after I've eaten. A LOT. It started in sept. since I was unhappy with school and is now so much worse since I cant seem to find the motivation to quit. I have a 25 pg. paper due tomorrow which I havent started and today when I got home I ate a lot of food and threw up so much it made me cry. I then slept for 4 hours (waking up to cry every now and then). Im miserable and obviously not well. Should I finish school? I dont want to fail in case I go back, but Im doing awful and being there is only affecting my mental health. What should I do? please help me. Thanks

Ok, so Ive explained my story before. But I have a somewhat abusive boyfriend and we are in the midst of sort of ending our relationship. Well a few months a go I was really unhappy and told one of my guy friends at work (hes seven years older than me) that I liked him. All he said in response was "I dont deserve you liking me" so I took it as rejection. I then forgot about it, even though we started hanging out more and more. (prolly 3/4 times a week) which is a lot for us. Sometimes we hang out w/ other people, but anyway. So, on halloween night I left a party we were at early b/c I was upset w/ my current boyfriend. I texted the guy I like and told him I was sorry for leaving (cause we are really good friends). I told him I was really confused but not about what. And he responsed. "I dont wanna be part of the reason, I hope Im not." Again, took it as rejection. Yet, we keep spending more and more time together. I dont get it. Then last night me, him and another girlfriend of mine were hanging out. We had some drinks and when I woke up we were holding hands. (me and the guy). I didnt pull away after I woke up, and neither did he. (he even clenched my hand and looked at me when he awoke.) UGH what does this mean? Is he not into me, or is he confused cause I havent totally broken up w/ my boyfriend yet? When we talk about him, he tells me he completely understands my situation cause hes been through something similar. But, what do you think....should I talk to him about this or let it go? I seriously think Im falling for him really HARD. Ugh, is this just false hope? Thanks guys. your always so helpful

I have a few friends here, but not many. I need to muster up the strength to just leave but Im scared. Sometimes hes just so wonderful and then im happy. I just wish I could have the courage to not put up w/ any of it. I still love him which makes it so hard.

Yes we live together. We've been dating for 3 and a half years and this has just been going on for about a year now. Im in such a predicament b/c I have no family here - I moved here for grad school. and Im not sure I can afford living on my own and my sched. is so hectic, when would I have time to move out? I know I just sound like Im making excuses, but they are real concerns. When my mom was here visiting, he swore at me in front of her and mocked me b/c I asked him to move some stuff off the bed so my mom could lay down (she has cancer). We didnt speak for 2 days. I know hes stressed w/ apps for PhD programs and stuff, but come on, right?

Ok, I feel embarrassed writing to ask this question, but I really need some advice. Tonight my boyfriend and I were sitting in our living room doing work. I asked him if I could go to the gym tomorrow (he was working on renewing my membership for me) and he told me he already gave me the slip confirming my membership. I truly didnt remember since I was so busy last week. Then he started getting an attitude with me, slightly raising his voice saying that he was SURE he gave it to me. I never said he didnt, but I told him I didnt remember (I stayed calm the whole time). He started going through my books and found it. He said, "UGH here I told you I gave it to you" Mind you he was getting all upset. Since he had an attitude I just started doing my work again, and he started to demand an apology. I said I was sorry without looking up. He then goes, "are YOU serious?" I said, calmly but honestly that I thought he was being a jerk." His reponse: "well then you. You're a (mod edit>" and walked out. I need to leave this relationship and dont have the strength. This is not healthy right? I feel like crying.

WELL, dont think Im a terrible person, but I do have a boyfriend. The thing is, we've been having so many problems over the last few months and were just recently talking about breaking up. This guy is someone I work w/ and from what I gathered he has some personal issues. Hes about 7 years older than me. When he said that whole "I dont deserve that" I said no, no, dont worry about it you dont have to say anything. I basically forced him not to. And before the night was over he was telling me all this stuff about himself (he cant get close to people, why would I want to get involved w/ him) BUT told me he def. identifies wih me and wants to start hanging out more.....so WEIRD. I dont know. He knows (by default) all about my boyfriend problems (me coming into work crying etc. ) what I mess I know.

Hi all Question. What does it mean when you tell a guy you like him and his response, is lots of smiles and "really?"s. I then said yea and he responded, "wow, I just dont deserve that." Is that a good or bad thing?

Thanks Rabican - Im working on it. Hope - the apt. is in his name, so I cant technically find a place to live until Oct. 1st. (thats when my dad moves here). AND since I recently moved here, I dont have many friends to stay w/. Its a badddd sit.

Im such a weak person. I know I need to break up w/ him. I just dont know how.

aww thanks You have all been so helpful.

I totally agree with all of your advice. Ugh this is just so hard. I mean, its so weird to me that he knew exactly what I was talking about even before I approached him about that letter. Why would he want me to find it?

Ugh, I totally agree. I dont know what my problem is. Every time I think about breaking up w/ me I get sick to my stomach. Maybe b/c in breaking up w/ him, that means I have to admit to myself that hes been lying to me for 3 years. I dont know if Im a confident enough person to do this

Hi all. Ok, this is a very sensitive story, but I really need all of your help. I need to know if Im crazy and doing the wrong thing. Ok, so I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. I actually just moved to Chicago to live with him (big step). Anyway, hes a year older than me and we went to college together. He actually spent a year in France while we were together - so obv. I think we have a pretty strong relationship. About 2 years ago, (4 months after he got back from France) I felt that he was acting strange (standoffish, not very interested in me) so I decided to do some investigating. I knew it was wrong, but I guessed his password to his email to check things out. Turns out, I found all these emails to and from this girl, Ola, in France. The ones he wrote to her were really intense, saying he loved her, couldnt wait to see her again etc. Hers were def. more intense, but STILL. I felt awful...I mean it seemed as though (or at least it looked like) he had been cheating on me since the beg. of our relationship. So, I told him everything, what I found etc. He got very defensive cause he thought I was breaking up w/ him. But I told him I would listen. He told me he met her in France yes, and she became obsessed w/ him. He admitted to cheating on me w/ her once when they first met but that they never had sex. (and I cant really be that upset b/c I also cheated on him w/ my exboyfriend). He told me she kept coming by uninvited, writing him emails. Apparenty, according to him, he tried to stop writing back to her, and she would then just show up at his apt. so he said he was just appeasing her so she would be calm and leave him alone. (they didnt live by each other). OK so I decided to believe him, even though the whole story seemed sketch. He then wrote her an email (I saw it) telling her to stop writing him and he didnt actually love her etc. It took a long time, but I got over it. Soo, 2 years later (now) I felt as though this whole situation was behind me. Well (1st you need to know, I have lots of self-esteem issues). When my b/f, Brian, acts weird or is always "busy" I start to think hes cheating on me (maybe b/c of the whole previous situation.) Anyway, so I was cleaning our room, and there was a suspitious folder in the top drawer (I have never seen it.) So, being sketch I started to look through it, and in the back was this 6 page letter to Ola. My heart sank. He said everything in the letter that Ive always wanted him to say to me. "I love you more than life. I would kill for you. My heart is lost without you in my life" bla bla bla. So, of course at that moment, I decided he was an * * * * * * *, and a LIAR. But of course, I needed to talk to him about it. He comes home from work and I led him into the bedroom. Before I even told him what was wrong, he said, "your upset because of the blue letter right?" Apparenty, or so he says, he wrote that and planted it there b/c he knew I was spying on him (which I was). He wanted me to feel hurt b/c he says he feels hurt everyday b/c I dont trust him. I dont think I buy it, but I dont know. I mean, why would he bring up such a sensitive issue just to hurt my feelings? Doesnt that seem a little far fetched? OH and this is the kicker. I also found a Chistmas card from her in polish. I showed him and he said he doesnt even remember receiving that and he doesnt even speak polish. He said she must have got his new address from Whitney (a mutual friend they have in France). I just dont get it. I mean, hes lying right? But then I think to myself, why would he leave that letter there where I would clearly find it, I live there! I sleep 3 feet away from where that letter was. Also, hes always telling me how much he loves me, wants me, etc. So I dont think he doesnt love me. I truly asked him to: I said, Brian I really want you to tell me if you love this girl, b/c I have my own life and its not fair if youve been corresponding to this random person. My question is, if he really does love this person, why does he keep lying to me? Theres nothing keeping him here but me. I know he would rather be living in France. Is he lying? Please, give me your honest opinions. Thanks guys/gals

Hi everyone, I feel weird for posting this, but all of my friends live in OH so I had no one else to turn to sniff...and I found this site online. Ok, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 and a half years. In the beginning things were great. (but he was abroad in France) so there was really no telling how they would be if he had been in Oh. When he was abroad, I caught him cheating on me when he returned. I felt betrayed and mad that I gave him a whole year of pain and missing him while he was away. Time has passed, last year we got along fine, great actually! But then we moved here to NYC for the summer. Living together has been really hard for both of us. We fight over the dumbest things and I know I'm mean over dumb things. The problems seem to be growing b/c I have to go finish school in a few weeks. At first I wanted him to come back to OH w/ me, but then I realized it was not fair to him. I want him to do what he loves, but at the same time he seems unhappy either way. I feel like hes having doubts about our realtionship, and I wish he would just talk to me about it, I mean we're supposed to be best friends. I have the occasional doubt too, but I dont know how to handle it. The one thing I'm sure about is that I love him. I love him so much, but I dont know if thats enough. I want to be happy, but at the same time I want him to be happy and be able to talk to me. He never can. Today I practically begged him and I felt like there was a part of him missing. I just stared into his eyes hoping for a response that would take me in some direction, but it seemed to uncertain. I dont know what to do anymore. I want to be w/ him, but I also feel like it shouldnt be this much work to get him to open up to me. What should I do?