Lost1n7heDark

I like this boy, and this boy likes me. I know it, it's obvious, he's told me, and he asked me on a date for this weekend. He's been so sweet to me, and is really a hardworking, genuine guy. But last night, he got some news that he might have to be working all weekend, so he was really in a bad mood. But then he started being a complete {mod edit} to me on aim, and just signed off after saying the meanest things. I was really hurt and just completely taken by surprise, because I never thought he'd say those things. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt by hoping he was just really having a horrible day. But I know if he doesn't talk to me tonight, tomorrow's date probably wont be happening. I really don't understand what he's thinking. Will you guys tell me what you think about this? What should I do? Thanks.

hey guys. thanks so much. i just wanted to let you all know that i ended it with her today. she gave me a note though, asking if i would take her back later after she fixed things. i don't know, but i know right now i'm done with it. thanks for the support!

Thank you guys so much! I think I'm just going to have to let it go and break it off. I'm still somewhat unsure about how to go about this, so if anyone has any more advice, it would be greatly appreciated! Thanks again!

PM me if you wish. My realization of my bisexuality was very recently. So I can completely comprehend it all. GL

I don't know what to do. Maybe some of you read my last post about another girl and mixed feelings. Not now. Totally different scenario. Worse, even. 1. Girlfriend does NOT put any effort (i.e. doesn't call BACK, doesn't text BACK, doesn't CONTACT AT ALL, blows me off, etc.) 2. She is also a huge drama queen, trying much too hard to get the attention of other people, which leads to 3. She has anorexia. Except she almost seems to brag about it. It was really hurting me, because she continuously (and obviously) put being thin over me. She would blow me off because she felt "too weak to do anything but lie around and watch movies". But she couldn't at least call?! After I called and texted the whole day? It's also been established that she would choose anorexia over me if she ever had to choose. I tried so hard to get her to eat. I used to be a very extreme anorexic, and I didn't want the same thing to happen, even if it's just for attention in her case. But it got so bad as to I started to self-injure, carving horrible words into my arm such as "ANA > ME" or "ANA WINS", "FAT", "STUPID", "UGLY". I am a normally depressed person, but I stopped talking to her about my problems because it was usually just always about her. Last weekend I told her I couldn't do it anymore if she kept on doing this, because it was just too much for me. I gave her the choice. She chose me. But she's still not trying. She lies about if she eats or not and she's starting to care less about our relationship and just doesn't even try to care. I thought she wasn't trying before, but she's definitely doing NOTHING now. Even my friends, who are her friends, have confronted me about how they thought that I didn't deserve to be treated this way, and that they lost respect for her. One of them said to me, "You are too good for her. I always have seen you getting her things and doing such sweet things; but I don't see her doing anything even close to as much as you do for her! You don't deserve this * * * *." This is coming from the people who have been friends with her longer than I have known her. I would normally understand, but I myself have recovered, but am still struggling with anorexia, and I have known many others, and we would never admit it. Especially when it was truly an obsession. I never admitted I had a problem at all. So when she does, and makes it obvious, it bothers me. Very much. My biggest pet peeve is an attention-seeker. What should I do? I don't really think I can do this anymore, but I don't know what she would do if I broke it off. I don't want her to do something rash or anything. I'm in need of some good advice. Please and thank you!

Well, I can't say I'm experienced and I won't act as if I know everything, since I am still rather young. But I have realized half a year ago that I suddenly was attracted to a member of the same sex. I always thought I was straight. I never really thought about being anything other than that. Mostly you have to ask yourself if you can see yourself having a true relationship with the same sex. Emotional? Physical? Mental? Can you see it happening? Think carefully before you decide to say or do anything. With your husband, see if maybe it's just lack of communication or something of the sort. If you two love each other, I'm sure it won't be too hard to feel motivated to figure things out. But good luck with everything and keep us posted!

i'm a cutter. i have been for...what, 3-4 years now? where? shoulders, abdomenal area if you don't swim, upper thighs, upper arms if you wear long sleeved t-shirts, feet, ankles, etc. does it help? at first, yes. is it worth it? hmm. only if you don't mind being paranoid about people seeing or finding out. and only if you don't mind being stuck in a vicious cycle for a long, long time. i say no. it's not worth it. take it from me. i have had therapists. psychiatrists. doctors. counsellors. medication. examination. etc. hasn't done anything for me, and i know if i hadn't started it my life would not be in such a mess. cutting may help temporarily, but it makes you feel so, SO alone. you just don't know how to be you anymore...

truthfully, i am very very annoyed with myself. i have been with my girlfriend (who, might i add, is one of the most amazing people in the world) for almost 4 months now. i know it may seem like such a short time, and seems like i am much too young, but i really honestly think i love her. and i know for sure she loves me. she makes me happy and vice versa. the problem? another girl. first girl i was ever attracted to. first girl i came close to dating. she moved, and now she's back. she wanted to ask me out before, apparently, but she thought i was straight. we knew each other inside out within a week after meeting. then she moved. we kept in touch, but it was somewhat fading, i'm assuming you all understand what i mean by that. then suddenly she just pops right back into my life. we talked and agreed to hang out yesterday. i thought it would just be a friend thing, but i guess my feelings never really went away. we hung out and then it came to be that she stayed the night; she didn't have a ride home. we always got along well, it's just how it was, and how it is. there were just too many signs. i am rather good at reading people. but the way she acted was so contradictory that i just didn't know what to think. she would often talk about this boy she likes(she's bi, as well as i am), and it really seemed like he was a huge part of her life, but then she'd just do things that would make it seem like she was interested in me. i mean, the night before, she told me, "You're a very big somebody. Especially when we really talked. Now you're a somebody, just not as big(since she moved). That's why we need to chill soon. I don't want to lose you." she took one of my rings and put it on; one that she's always loved. she, in turn, let me wear one of her rings. she kept saying things; that i was pretty or something about me looked nice, etc. etc. i had my hair up that day and she pulled my hair tie out told me to keep it down, that it looked really pretty down. we sat outside late at night, to smoke and come back in, but we ended up just sitting down and staring out into the night. there were no lights, it was just the night. we sat there in silence for maybe 30 minutes, deep in our own thoughts. then we talked in strange bits, leaving maybe 4-5 minute pauses between each response. then we stopped and sat in silence some more. i dont know how long that time, but i remember hearing her cry silently. we spoke again, and she just had an emotional breakdown. i gave her a shoulder to cry on. both literally and figuratively. we went back inside after a while and went to sleep. today we woke up and didn't really have plans. we ate and had a lot of fun, just messing around with each other. we had good laughs. i taught her a song on the guitar, we jammed. then we had a playfight, and we just cracked up so hard, cause she was trying to get outside to smoke, but i didn't want to let her, i was trying to break her addiction. and then we made plans with some other people to go to the movies. while we were getting ready i wanted to keep my hair up, but she wanted me to keep it down. eventually she just let me tie it up, but she did it for me. i wore some new clothes and she said something about how good i looked (which wasn't true. i'm ugly. really.). she told me, "I better apologize to your girlfriend now, cause I'm so hitting on you." of course i just laughed and said nothing else. we got there and met our friends, the movie we wanted to watch was sold out, so the four of us linked our arms and walked over to a burger place and got some shakes. while we linked arms, our hands touched somehow while we were jauntily walking, and she held onto my fingers. i didn't say anything, she didn't say anything, and the other two didn't even notice anything. we just walked on, but i was very conscious of the fact that she was holding on to my hand, by the fingers, since you can't really hold hands fully when linked arms with four people altogether. while we were there i was writing on her pants, and i wrote, "My * * * * *." she said, "You're the only person I'll ever admit to be owned by. I own everyone else." (yes, it was a joke.) there was a lot of crazy people and things going on in the front of the theatre, and they were all jumping around, screaming and smoking and being....kids, i suppose. she gets along with those people really well, and i sort of just hung back, but whenever i was with her, she'd always hug me or try to stick her finger in my ear (inside joke) and other things like that. then i dont remember what was going on, but somehow she got a hold of my hand as we were walking towards some other group of people we knew, and interlocked her fingers between mine. i tried to subtly take my hand away; it bothered me a bit, since i already am with someone. but she wouldn't let me. i feel horrible saying this, but it felt...right. remember how she took my ring? well of course we were going to switch back, but tonight while we were out at a theatre with a whole bunch of people, she said, "Hey, now you have to spend the night at my place sometime, since I stayed over last night....And then you can get this back." she was supposed to give me back my ring tonight. then when i told her i had to get away from the huge mass of people because i knew my parents would question about them and they were smoking, and i didn't want to smell like cigarettes when i went into the car. i told her that i had to step away because of it. well, a couple of us just walked over to a bench and sat down, talking and such. when my parents finally came, i pointed it out and told her that they were here and that i had to go. she sort of hesitated, then asked, "Do you want me to walk you to the car?" i just shrugged; there really wasn't a good answer to that question. so she just walked with me, gave me a goodbye hug and as she was walking back she yelled, "Call me!" it was a far walk from that particular bench to my car. i was surprised she walked me. throughout the whole time, might i mention, whenever we looked at each other, we didn't even have to talk to communicate. i don't know how to explain it. another thing? whenever she introduced me to people, it would either be, "This is my cute and pretty little ____" or "This is _____. She would've been my girlfriend if i'd stayed but i moved and now she's got another girl." things like THAT. i just dont know what to do. i love my girlfriend. please don't doubt me when i say i do. we understand each other completely and we talk about so many things. she told me that i knew her better than her own best friend, who she's been best friends with for 3 years. i've only known her for 4 or 5 months. she has been so wonderful to me and i know she loves me a lot. i know how to completely change her mood from very, VERY depressed to happy. in a matter of an hour or so. and we just shared a lot of things with each other. i think, though, the reason this has become an issue is that the other girl; even when i only knew her for a week, knows almost as much. and i know them both. inside-out. and lately, things have been so weird between me and my girlfriend. we haven't spent any time together since thanksgiving break, and for some reason, she'd been acting so strangely. everyday all she would really say to me was "I feel like * * * * today." "I'm tired as * * * *. I need sleep." or "I don't care." i tried to keep a straight face and help just be there for her, i didn't want to be a burden, but unfortunately i was having a lot of problems, too. i have clinical depression...and many other things. i just became extremely suicidal one particular week, but i couldn't SAY anything. i didn't want to add onto her problems while she was "feeling like * * * *". things smoothed over before xmas break, but we still haven't seen each other since it started, since she's visiting some relatives. it's as if we don't really know each other anymore. sort of stranger-like. pretty much i feel like a horrible, horrible person for having feelings for this other girl. but i don't know what to do. i can't leave my girlfriend. she's been cheated on and hurt so many times that i just couldn't. and i dont want to be another one of those people. not only that, but she's got major depression, too, and i remember her telling me one time that if i ever ran off with some other person, she just wouldn't know what the hell she would do. i am so terrible. i can't believe i feel this way with the other girl. when i'm already with other person, whom i love. if anyone would please, please give me any kind of advice? i know that this is not the worst in the world, and i am nothing but another person out of billions; i am just asking for someone who understands to tell me how to handle this without hurting someone else. thank you for reading through this. really. i am truly grateful.

As a cutter myself, usually self-inflicted pain isn't a pre-suicide intention. For me, and for most people I know that self-injure are trying to cope with inner pain. Really, all you can do is to show them that you'll always be there for them. So that if it happens to get serious, and they start mentioning taking their own life, they'll at least have you to turn to. Don't go to their parents. It will really mess up a lot of ties within the family. I should know, someone told my parents, and now my relationship with my parents is really...way too strange. They'll start treating their kid like they're going to go hollywood-movie psycho on them. And plus, it will add to the pain they're having. Therapists are actually pretty useful, you can tell them usually pretty much anything, and they're not really allowed to tell anyone else. The only thing to remember is to never tell them you're planning to do it again at a certain time. Avoid that. But all you should really be doing now is staying by their side. I hope all things go well with your friend. Good luck. If you need any help, feel free to PM me.

I have a couple of questions, actually, so if you could please answer whichever you "know" the "answer" to. -I actually have never kissed before, and my girlfriend(I'm bi) wants my first kiss to be "perfect". But it's been a while, and the "perfect" time hasn't really shown up, because first of all, our parents will interfere with weekend plans, and we can't meet up alone. I'm pretty sure it's not because she doesn't want to kiss me; she's told me more than once how much she wants to just grab me kiss me on the spot. But she doesn't want to because she doesn't think kissing me at school will be romantic, and she's got her mind set on the "perfect" kiss for me. Apparently, her first kiss(she's more experienced) really sucked, and she doesn't want it to be a waste for me. It's cute, but it's starting to get to me, not because I don't want the "perfect" first kiss, but because I just want to kiss her. I don't know what to do in a situation like this. So any advice at all would be nice. -What do you do about glasses? -Do lip piercings get in the way? I have my lip pierced, and I wondered if it's a good thing or a bad thing to have when kissing. I'm not really planning on whipping it off whenever I kiss, since that's sort of...ridiculous, if you think about it. So any words on that would be cool. Much thanks.

I love how nobody responds. It shows how much people care. Really. Thanks, though, HealingHandsWarmHeart. It's good advice, to talk to a friend, but I don't have any I trust enough to talk to. So I guess I'll just put up with it on my own.

I definitely went through that same situation, too. I was always attracted to both sexes, but the way I was raised, I always thought I was straiht. But I eventually figured out that I am attracted to girls just the same. I always wondered if it was just because I wanted a really good female friend, as well, but last year I had this one friend (female) who I was really tight with. But I wasn't ever attracted to her. This year completely changed because I moved to a different city, and I'm going to a different school. And there was this one girl I was actually attracted to, and I knew it wasn't because I just wanted her to be a really really close friend. Well it turns out she's lesbian, and she liked me too, so now we're currently going out, and it just feels nice. I think the best thing you can do is to get closer to them. See if you just care for them as a friend, or as something more. From what I'm hearing, though, you may probably like these girls as more than friends. Good luck with everything, PM me if you need to talk!

Well wow. That IS really confusing. I get what you're saying, though. I used to be rather anti-love, too. But if you think about it, nobody can go through life without it. And just about everybody needs love in their lives. You don't have to go all out and be a complete * * * * * about it, like most girls I know do. Just show off what you have. Be proud of who you are, don't hide behind anything. And believe me, some guys will notice you. Be confident, and don't be brought down by a relationship, because that's just not how one should be hurt. It will hurt, but you gotta be able to feel that it's their loss, and that they just missed out on everything. I'm not sure if this is helping any, but I say dont be shy. Don't overdo it, just be yourself, don't be so timid about love, and don't reject anyone who you might actually fall in love with. Just go for it, remember, it's better to have loved than to not have loved at all. Good luck, if you need any help, PM me whenever you want.

That really is a hard thing to go through. I don't really have the experience you have had, but I think I may know what you're talking about. When you love someone so much and they just break you when you thought you could trust them. Deleting her from your contact list was a good idea. I hope that you stay strong through all of the lies that she had told you, and I think if you ever do see her again, try to feel nothing for her. She isn't worthy of your pain. She is more worthy of your pity. Someone who wastes a relationship with lies is pitiful, and doesn't understand the meaning of love. You are strong, and I admire that. Don't let her get to you. Good luck to you.

I really didn't. But something happened last night that really just brought me down. I hadn't cut for a month and a couple of weeks. Things were going so well, a new school, a starting over point, a new relationship, etc. I thought everything was slowly getting into place. But last night, things just really blew over. See, after my parents had found out about me cutting they left me alone. It used to be a lot of physical, emotional and mental abuse that I had to go through since I was a little child. I wont go into details, because I'm not here to whine about how my parents beat me. It is not an excuse for me cutting, it's just a fact. Anyways, I had always been used to it, but once they found out they left me alone. I think they were a bit afraid of me. I must've gotten too used to the fact that they weren't as bad as before, that when my dad started treating me like a baby I got annoyed. I figured it was just a parental thing that he was doing so I left it alone. But then my mom just popped into my room randomly and started yelling at me. It started off as a normal conversation, but then she started bothering me about my life. I guess I shouldn't have, but I talked back and she really got pissed off. She told me to leave and find another legal guardian because she's sick of raising me and doesn't want to deal with it anymore. She said I should just leave everything here and go. And I hear that and I felt like dying because then I realize she never wanted a kid like me, she hates having to deal with me, having to raise me, she doesn't want me anymore, she's sick of putting up with me. And I just hate that it matters so much to me because it shouldn't but it does. And I wanted to kill myself and rid them of the trouble. And maybe she didn't mean it but it just killed me so bad cause she's never said anything like that to me before. The thing is, anything else she said would've been okay. She could've said the usual things, but she didn't. She said all that. And I'm not a crier, because I believe I've forgotten how to, so I couldn't cry. I couldn't handle it, because they already think I'm good for nothing, so I took the best thing I had, which was the tip of a compass, and a paper clip, and I dragged them both accross the surface of my arm. My old scars started to open up and bleed, and for some reason it just didn't help as much as before. That's the thing that scares me the most. I didn't go any further because I was tired and felt so bad that I needed to sleep. But the thing that scared me is that it wasn't enough. I'm afraid that someday I'll take it too far and that would just give my parents another reason to hate me. I'm sorry, I just really needed to spill all of this because I really don't have anybody else to talk to. I really don't know what to do anymore and I wish it didn't hurt so much.