misery12

I can't believe how much this dilema used to relate to my relationship! It's unbelievable.. I can really relate to this, except for the age . But anyways, I know what you mean, you feel that you are the only one putting effort into the relationship, and sometimes you might feel that he doesn't like you as much as you like him, but if he didn't, would he ( a grown man) come back to the woman he loves.. crying to be with her? probably not.. so this is a good sign for you. I used to feel this way with me and my girl.. but then I talked to her.. and got her input on our relationship, and she told me that we need to have better conversations, instead of just Questions and Answers.. so I made an effort for this.. and realized I was just trying too hard, and basing all my plans around her. I talked to my mom about this, and she helped me out. She made me realize that I had to get other hobbies, to get my mind of it.. and just live my own life.. for me. The trick is for each of you to live your own lives, and then bring them together, to meet. Go out with friends, concentrate on your studies, if you find you waiting for him, and he goes out.. don't hesistate to do the same thing.. there's always other times.. as for the love thing, don't rush it.. it's more than just 3 words, it's the strongest feeling someone can get. I haven't said it to my girlfriend yet, because I am waiting until I know for sure.. I know I am falling in love with her.. and I will be there shortly. You just can't rush these things.. like the previous post.. try not to talk to him about it every night, because he will find you clingy.. wait a week or so.. I have also noticed that a few words from your lovers mouth, can make your day and get your passed any dilema. So just try concentrating on your own life, and try not to live your life based around him, you have to love yourself, and live for yourself.. before you can love another. Think about this post... it can really help you. Also, try and set up a romantic night, about a week in advanced, so it's secure. Then you can look forward to it, when you feel down about you guys.. and then think back to that night for the next time you feel down, it really helps. You just have to know he cares for you.. things will fall as they may. Good Luck.

so this is normal?? do you feel this way sometimes.. and what can I do.. at the exact moment I feel it.. to get rid of it.. what can I think about..? because usually.. just thoughts make me feel a lot better.

well, I don't really know how to respond to this.. because my girlfriend and I , have not had sex yet.. but I have a question that sort of relates to this topic. I was just wondering .. when me and my girlfriend fool around.. is it normal not to communicate, and talk as we're doing anything.. I don't mean kissing and stuff.. but I mean like Hand Jobs, and fingering.. excuse my blatant terms but when we do this.. we usually lay beside each other.. and just be silent, and do our business...we're a very secure relationshipp.. so we dont take this too seriously.. we just do it for the others pleasure.. 8) and then once we're done.. we just go and do whatever. eat.. watch tv.. talk about something else.. is this fine?

Hey, I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 months now.. and it seems that our little problems are fading away slowly as time passes, which is awesome. This weekend she came to my cottage with my family and that went great.. we did some stuff after everyone went to sleep, which was nice.. because we havent fooled around in a while, so it was nice to know the spark was still there, if you know what I mean. anywho.. I am just posting to ask a question about realtionships.. because sometimes (rarely) I have this feeling.. of jealousy.. but its not directed towars another guy.. for example... there's a parade that comes every year, and people always hang out afterwards.. its always on a weekend.. and I asked what she was doing that weekend.. and she said that this guy was having a party, with all of their friends. shes a year younger than me.. so im not friends with this particular guy, but im friends with a lot of my girlfriends friends too. Also, her grade doesnt have school tomorrow, but mine does.. and she said she might be going paintballing with some friends.. girls and boys.. so I got this little feeling again.. I guess it's the feeling of missing out.. or something, but she always talks about plans for us in the summer, and later in the year, so I know she wants to stay together for a long time.. and so do I, but why do I sometimes feel this way.. i guess it's just that Im jealous that she'll be off with other guys (and girls) having fun.. while im at school.. (in that situation) but then I remember how much she means to my family, and how much she likes my family.. so I know its a stupid feeling.. so what is it.. and what can I do to stop it.. is it nothing, and do I have nothing to worry about.. please relate to this if you can.. along with some advice.. thanks!

I am not sure what to tell you.. but I was wondering something about this.. wouldn't someone get bored of one another if you see him everyday, if you keep doing the same thing .. and there isn't that much excitement? I have been with my girlfriend for about 4 months, and on average she comes over once during the week, and then we usually hang out all day one day on the weekend.. but im in grade 10, and she's in grade 9, so is that a good amount of time?? sometimes I ask her to hang out, but if she doesnt feel like it, she just says "not today" or something, is this a bad sign, or is it nothing to be worried about.. because she's being open at least. plus she's coming to my cottage with me and my family all weekend too.. any opinions?

I'm in the same position I've been with my girlfriend for like 4-5 months and we havent even kissed since early Feb.. so I just want to bring occasional kissing back into the relationship.. and I need to know a way to do it besides the 2 ways he's mentioned. Thanks

what do you mean by changing?? I don't want her to feel the spark is gone.. and break up with me suddenly.. she is coming to my cottage this weekend with me and my family.. will this help the situation.. it's for over night. What can I do, to make her smile when I come into the room.. and not just be like.. hey. I want her to be happy when she see's me.. I waited for like 3 hours to tell her that.. because she was helping her dad out.. but what can I do from here?? please help

Okay, I have been with my girlfriend for about 5 months or so.. and we never really talk about our relationship, until tonight, when I asked her how she thought about the whole thing... and she said its good.. except it doesnt feel like before.. because we use to have convo's.. now we just ask each other questions.. but I said thats because we know so much about each other.. so I just want her to know, that I havent changed, and that I am here for her.. I kind of felt sick when she said it.. because I dont want her to like me any less. What can I do. that doesnt require talking.. but taking some action..

I am in grade 11. It's not recess.. it's like time off from class/

We have kissed before.. in the first month or so.. we kissed many times.. well not many, but we had about 5 different make out sessions, and one time when she was leaving, she turned around, and pecked me... and that made me feel really good. But now when she leaves, she just says okay ill talk to you tonight, or something like that. so it's not that we haven't kissed before, and she is a great kisser, and she's told me I am too, I keep myself controlled, and I don't just let loose. So I don't think it's that, I just think that it's that we haven't had the greatest chances to kiss.. yet she was over here last weekend for 9 hours! all day.. with me, her, my friend, and her friend.. but we didn't kiss.. I just feel that I am back at square one in the kissing section, and it kind of feels that it's our first kiss again... I just realized this too.. I haven't kissed her since the night I asked her out.. which was Jan. 28th. So we actually havent kissed since we've started dating! Im such an idiot.. what kind of guy doesnt kiss his girlfriend?? I am going to talk to her about this tonight.. But I dont know what to say when she comes online! Pleaaaassee help.. I dont need help how to kiss, but what to say to her, to let her realize how long it's been..but I dont want to make it seem that it's all I think about either.. thanks

hey, thanks for the reply each one makes me feel better and gives me more guidance I just have to know what to say.. not exactly.. but just the idea.. you mentioned joking about it.. so she's more comfortable.. I think this is a good idea, so she knows that I am thinking about it.. but I am not forcing it on her. If you were in my position, what would the words be, that you would say to her??

Alright, I guess I am just scared what her reaction will be.. and that it might change things.. and then I think to myself.. if I dont change things, I will continue to feel this way.. I guess I have to take the risk can't blame a guy for trying

Number 3 and 4 are out of the question. I would never leave her without a good excuse, and this is not one.. I'd talk to her about it, before I'd even consider it. Even then, I probably wouldn't leave her.. Also, I cannot go on like this, I feel so envious of others.. it's eating me alive.. I think I might talk to her about it later.. but if you were in my exact position, what would you say to your girlfriend, without making it really weird for her.. because if I ask her why we don't kiss.. or just hang out alone that much.. she might feel pressured into doing those things more, and might make her uncomfortable.. what would you say to her?? please help

Okay, here is my story.. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 months now. but the thing is.. we haven't even kissed since the beginning of Feb. That's 3 months!! not even a peck!! I don't know what's wrong at all, I don't want to just lean over at school and kiss her, because we're more casual, and don't really do that.. I want to be like the other couples that kiss at the end of each day. We only hang out like once during the school week, and like once on average during the weekend. I wouldn't mind hanging out with her every single day, but I know that she probably wouldn't want that, so that's fine. But, the kissing thing, I have no idea what we haven't, and I feel that I should talk to her about this.. but I don't know what to say, what are some things I can say.. because if she says "hey" do I say "hey, why don't we kiss anymore" but then after that, she might think that's all i've been thinking about, and might feel pressured into kissing me more, and that might make her feel uncomfortable, it's so confusing, I just want her to be open with me, and us kiss like everyday after school when we say goodbye.. all we do is meet up in the lobby, and talk for like 1 minute, then she heads to her bus.. she doesn't really invite me over that much either.. and I don't want to invite myself over, and it's been bugging me too.. I think I might have a big conversation with her about all my feelings.. just to get them out.. but wont she think that im being too emotional?? and wondering why im suddenly being like this?? I know what I have to do now, but I need help on what to say to her.. to get my point through, and without making her feel completely awkward.. I see my sister and her boyfriend of 9 months or so.. casually kissing, and other couples too.. and we don't do that when she comes over, we just go on the trampoline or something, because she loves doing that.. and sometimes we snuggle up on the couch and play board games.. but thats when other people are over too.. I give her massages a lot too.. and I know friends don't usually do that.. so I know we're more.. but how come we don't get too intimate.. its been 3 months since i've felt her lips, and I feel empty, and broken inside, I just need some guidance on what to say to her.. I know that if she takes my honesty for granted, that she isn't right for me.. but I know that she will love hearing it.. but I just need to word it right.. what can I say.. please help!!

she's not even that into art.. and im only 16, and shes 15, so we cannot drive anywheres without parents, I don't have my full lisensce yet. She just took the time to draw a little thing for me a while ago, and I know how good it made me feel, so I thought I should return the favor some how.

Hey, I need some pointers, or tips on something. I've been with my girlfriend for about 5 months or so, and things are just cooling off from the exciting start to the relationship, and we're settling down accepting us as a secure couple. I just want to make sure she still knows how much she means to me.. so I want to do something for her.. a little something.. for example.. she has painted me a picture with my name in a heart one day, and gave it to me after school, it was a total shock, and just the surprise let me know she was thinking of me and that she cared. I want to do something like this for her.. which I can draw in class or something, just to show her what she means to me.. But I want to keep it more masculine then a heart.. unless that's not too bad. I want her to open it up, and feel good, knowing that I care for her.. but I don't want it to be super serious either, because that's not the type of relationship we have. We're more laid-back and easy going, so just something little would be great. Any advice I would greatly appreciate.

Hey, I have a question for all of you out there, in current relationships, or that were in a relationship that lasted over 5 months, or so. I've been with my girlfriend for about 5 months or so now.. and I sometimes still don't know what to say to her.. if she comes over or something, we always find things to do, but it's mostly at school, because she's a year younger than I am.. so we're not in any classes together, but we always sit together, with some friends and play cards at lunch and recess, (there's nothing else to do). So I guess I am just wondering if any of you out there, still sometimes just sit there with your partner, and don't really have anything to talk about.. or you don't know what to say.. do you still sometimes feel nervous? or get butterflies talking to them? I do sometimes, but it's weird, because we've been through a lot of stuff together (good things) so I think I am comfortable with her, because I can talk to her easily, but then sometimes I get these feelings. Things are great between us, but sometimes our conversations need a little boost, or something.. We're really good friends, and she is tight with my parents, and I am pretty tight with hers.. but I still sometimes feel like our conversations are like we just started going out or something.. most of the time they're normal.. any advice?

That's nice to hear man, thanks a lot. I sometimes post my problems too, so keep an eye out

I know what you're talking about. In my relatoinship, saying thank you is not a problem.. but sometimes things are going so well in some areas that I don't want to ruin it by bringing up something not very important. I guess when it comes to this, you have to compare the two, and see if getting your feelings out in the open are more important at the moment, then tell him, but if you know you can get by without... then I wouldn't stress it too much.

Alright, I get ya.. but when those silences occur, what do you do/say? because sometimes I don't just want to be like.. "im heading out now" incase she just wants to talk to me.. or just stay on the phone.. or if the conversation has only been going on for like 5-10 minutes, is it rude to end it, if there is nothing else to say, and we're becoming silent? What can I say, so it doesnt sound like "okay you're boring, im leaving" thanks

Yeah, and sometimes I just don't have much to say at the time, and neither does she. Like today.. it was getting quiet, and we were just like yep.. so she's like, I'm gonna go, but I'll talk to you later on tonight.

amour, are you a girl, or a boy.. Im just wondering.

Hey, this is sort of like a survey, but I am just trying to figure out if you guys out there still have some phone conversations with your girlfriend/boyfriend that are weird. I mean like, when my girlfriend calls , usually we just keep talking until one of us leaves, but sometimes I have nothing to say, and there is just this long.. awkward silence for a while...and we've been going out for 5 months or so.. but on occasion we have some of these things. Today for instance, she told me she would call me later, and she did.. We talked about some things that were on our mind, weekend/school, but then neither of us had anything to say. When we're together we never have this, because we're really comfortable around each other, it's just on the phone sometimes.. I am just wondering if this happens to any of you, and what you do to avoid it, or just get by it.. I know it's nothing serious, but any advice or tips/hints would be helpful. THanks a lot!

I do not agree with you. I do see hope in this, if she really had no interest, would she take the time to call him, about the dog. Maybe she just wanted to hear his voice. I say you should call her up, and ask her to a friendly breakfast, (supper is too romantic). Inform her it's only as friends, and you just want to start over with her, at any pace she is comfortable with. Tell her you support her every decision, and if you are willing to wait for her to make up her mind, then wait for her, and if she loves you, you will be together again, if she realizes that it just won't work out.. you have to realize reality. Just, think of it this way.. If you're in this much misery, what do you have to lose by calling her, and getting your feelings out? I'd do it if I was in your position, if you truly love her.. fight for her. Hope this helps.

Hey, I've been with my girlfriend for 5 months now. Things are incredible, I can tell I am falling in love with her, I am so comfortable with her, and she's coming to my cottage with me and my family this weekend, I cannot wait. I am just asking for something romantic, or funny I can give her, or do with her to show how much she means to me.. there is no occasion, I just want her to know, and I have bought her things before (purse, ring, etc..) so I dont want her to think I am spoiling her.. I just want to do something for her, without going overboard.. I would also love to hear what you guys do in this situation to your partner, thanks a lot!