Cherylyn

You're just wasting your time and energy on a liar and same with anyone who didn't think enough of you to treat you with integrity, dignity and utmost respect. Anyone who lies, deceives, betrays or plays any of those head trips and mind games, is not worth the dirt underneath your shoes. Why? Because you can't look at that person the same way anymore let alone barely be able to give them eye contact. That seed of distrust had been since firmly implanted within the deep recesses of your brain and nothing can ever erase it. It is here to stay permanently. You need to move on. Ignore, block and delete this ex-friend everywhere so you can heal and recover. Make this ex-friend, out of sight, out of mind.

She's not serious about you. Don't give any hope to this situation. Remain realistic and keep moving forward.

Whatever other people do is fine with me. However, regarding electronic communication, whenever we're dining at home or away, whether it's just my husband and me or with our sons, no cell phones. They can have their nose in their phones on their own time but not during meals, when we're supposed to have eye contact and engage in a conversation. Same with dining indoors or out with friends, relatives and in-laws. It's refreshing to be old school or "old fashioned" by actually giving each other undivided attention and common courtesy. Getting a break from being tethered to our phones is much needed relief. ☺️

You need a new boyfriend who drives his own car or however way he figures out how to reach his destinations. 🙄 🚗 Why should your boyfriend drive his own car? That's what you're for. He's spoiled. This is why he lacks motivation to be responsible for his own transportation needs.

I agree. Unless words are worded just right via electronic communication, it call be horribly misconstrued, twisted, misunderstood, distorted and become unnecessarily heated and emotional. Something gets lost in translation and texts or emails can easily become argumentative, highly charged and angry. 😡 Communication can easily end up with a lot of resentment, bitterness and unforgiving, permanent animosity. This has been my experience. ☹️ I'll chime in with others, in person is best and if not in person, at least a live phone chat so there is back 'n forth voices and dialogue. Nowadays, I limit texts or emails to BRIEF, superficial info such as appointments, agreed upon scheduled socializing dates, times or something superficial and light. Nothing more. Everything else is a phone chat or in person. I've noticed that with a live phone chat or in person conversation, people tend to have more self control whereas electronic communication is perceived as blunt, terse and frosty. The less electronic words, the better. If electronic, word it very BRIEFLY and graciously otherwise be prepared for any type of backlash which is undeserved. No one wants to be left feeling defensive.

I'm not into films, TV, movies, etc. and neither was my husband. He temporarily moved back home to save money but that didn't deter me from dating him. I gave him a chance and glad I did. 🤗 You have nothing to lose. Knowing in person is better than having misgivings online. You don't know him well until you have an in person dialogue. You never know. Perhaps he's saving money for the future instead of spending a lot of money on rent every month. Maybe he has realistic potential. He could very well have other interests other than media which is actually more intellectually intriguing IMHO. Find out if he's the one and if not, at least you'll know for certain. I agree with others. He will find out whether or not you're for him or not. It works both ways.

Narcs become angry should you dictate your own life. They do not like it. They want to be the authority regarding their control over the dynamic with you. Their goal is to always win and you lose. It's an ugly game. They'll never change because they're mentally sick. The best thing to do is to steer clear and run for the hills! 😵 Ignore, block and delete everywhere so you can attain freedom and power to choose what you wish to do in peace, safety and security. Narcs always want to have their grip on you. Never allow it. You are the one that got away. Be smart. 👍 😉

I'll chime in with others. Drive to your social destination separately and after you've had enough party time, make your gracious exit and go home. People won't change their personalities so you'll have to learn to adapt. Perhaps try conversing about mutually interesting topics when you're alone with him, do things together that you both enjoy, discuss, maybe have hobbies, sports or intellectual pursuits. Anything worthy of discussion. Also, have separate interests and socializing so both of you can chat about that as well otherwise you'll grow bored with each other due to the monotony. Change it up. 😉

It's because narcs always want to control you and control the narrative. They make sure you don't have the right to control yourself and they despise your boundaries because it means you're taking back your power. Don't bite the bait! Ignore, block and delete him everywhere including social media, your phone, etc. Give yourself freedom and power with your life.

I'll chime in with others regarding not including your brother when it comes to your relationship with your mother. Your mother sounds like a narcissist which is more prevalent than most of us realize. She gave you a gaslighting comment with "you only remember the bad and not the good." I've heard those words before so many times. It's a way to throw you off track from the original concern of yours and leave you feeling confused as if there is something wrong with you. It's a very manipulative, sneaky trick. How should you act around your mother now? Be cool, well mannered, polite yet keep a safe, very cautious distance. It's what I do and it works. It's called boundaries and you have every right not to say "yes" to every suggestion. There is a way to decline nicely. Keep a wary eye. Never let your guard down and tread lightly. Use those survival skills.

The longer you remain with him, the more time, energy and resources you waste on him. Your hopes and dreams do not align. Therefore, is he worth it? Answer that question for yourself and then you will know for certain.

Sounds like after sex, his communication is inconsistent with you which defies his previous texting habit pre-sex. If he continues having a 'blah' attitude towards you, you were merely a romp in the hay to him and his interest had since waned. In the future, slow down. Get to know the guy very well before becoming intimate. Observe his behavior. Should he continue on this same track, onto his next conquest . . . 🙄

I like this song: https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=broken+up+for+good+song+huh+uh+huh+uh+lyrics#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:f81590fc,vid:dSrbPPogYQU,st:0

Quit social media. You'll be amazed at how much clearer your brain will be not to mention you'll become far more industrious than you could every imagine. Screens are a huge time trap. ☹️

I gave up on dating. I never had a date in my life during high school and beyond so I simply lost hope. Therefore, I concentrated on myself. I ascended in my career, became financially strong and independent, focused on my health, had a life of my own and became very busy. Within a flash, I became a looker. Men were crawling out of the woodwork. During social settings, I had finally arrived and I didn't even have to try. Instead of chasing, I was pursued and had to decline a lot. Fast forward and I met my husband, the love of my life. 💗 I even helped him financially during our marriage while he was enrolled in his graduate programs. It can be done. It wasn't easy but it's not impossible either. My point is, never give up. Women see potential in your future and the future for both of you. Work hard now and your ship will come in later. Patience is key. You will garner attention with your success which is inevitable. Sure, high moral quality character is tantamount but so is the type of comfortable future you can provide and provide together. This is the reality of the majority of relationships when thinking about what type of life you can bring to the table in the long run. You may not see this now but a lot of women think about how life will unfold whether it's hardship or a fairly smooth sailing life. Most choose the latter and not the former.

Even though you're on the right path with your goals for your career, not every woman is keen on a man who travels a lot including for work and your time is limited for a relationship due to your doctoral program. I wouldn't give up though. There is a woman out there who foresees a lot of potential in you so she'll either remain patient or you'll attract women by the droves like bees to honey after you're finished with your education and on the fast track with your job.

It would be too creepy to be forward. Strike up a conversation and allow the conversation to possibly or eventually lead to any phone number exchanges. Build trust and allow the woman to use her intuition otherwise you're perceived as weird and scary. 🙄 🫢 🥺

Give yourself time. It will often take months and years for an ex (boyfriend, ex-friend, ex-relative, ex-in-law or whomever) to eventually fade out of your brain. You'll always remember your ex but it will become less as time marches on. I agree with others. Get busy. When you're super busy, you're concentrating on work, could be school, sports / fitness, hobbies, reading, surrounding yourself with moral people and being productive. There are many ways to be industrious, too. Preoccupy your mind with healthy activities and before you know it, your ex becomes merely a blur. Then you will have many days, weeks or months when the ex will never enter your consciousness.

I'm different. When my husband and I were dating, we went "dutch" aka split the bill or paid our own way. It was fair. Once we were dating through engagement and towards marriage, we took turns paying for restaurant meals, tickets, etc. It all evened out. 🤗

I've had several relatives having the nerve to hang up on me during my mid-sentence telephone conversation and that was it for me. 🤬 If estrangement is not possible, remaining civil with strong boundaries works. What do I make of this? Any time a person feels entitled to mistreat you in any way shape or form, they're not worth the dirt underneath your feet. 👣 That's what I make of it. 😒 If you can afford it, dump people who aren't worth wasting your life on. They obviously don't think much of you so return the favor and do likewise. What goes around, comes around. 😉

Congratulations! 🎉🧨🎇🎈

Sounds like you are zoned in friends land. 🙄

Your boyfriend is weird. 🙄 ☹️ He does not think nor speak honorably to you which is very alarming and a red flag. Don't gaslight yourself into thinking you're insecure or insensitive. You are thinking logically. Your boyfriend is odd and strange which should be a warning to you so beware. 🤔 His "friendship" with this mutual friend of yours is uncomfortable for you as it would for many people. I think it's great whenever a couple is in agreement with very close friends of the opposite gender. However, if it bothers you, then it is disrespectful to you and the relationship you have with him. Two's company, three's a crowd. This picture feels too crowded because it is. Not every couple will tolerate chumminess with the opposite gender or the same gender in addition to the relationship they're in. Some people are fine with it whereas other people say this arrangement will not endure.

If it were me, I'd have distrust issues with your boyfriend. Also, if you're envisioning a future with him, lack of sound economics is a big deal because it impacts your life. If you're in a committed relationship with him, economic burdens fall on you. Do you want to carry the load for both of you? This is how it will be. Love doesn't pay the rent. ☹️ It's better to remain practical and realistic. Let those thoughts be your guide and decision.

Yes, consider ending it. He's uncertain about the future. He doesn't have any concrete plans nor visions of a committed future with you. It's all up in the air. No sense remaining together without any plans beyond today. It sounds like a waste of time to me. You decide though.