Marquette96

I have now stepped back, I am hopeful she will engage. I feel she is stressed and so think she has found new purpose in her career (something I want for her) and I don’t think I will detract from. I am in it for the long haul so will see what she says when she reaches back out. Assuming that will be in the next month or so.

She was going thru a lot of stress and even said she was going to reach out for some therapy for herself. When we first met for the holidays she seemed very down. After a few days being back home and us together she became herself again. She doesn’t handle stress well. But it’s the first time she’s really moved away and became independent and made new friends for who she is now, not just childhood. I was so happy for her. That’s why when she said too soon to meet up two weeks ago, I really feel she meant that in a positive way? She could have easily said no I don’t think it’s a good idea to meet up and left it there.

To answer a few of your questions. She thinks the codependency stems from me not having enough hobbies and for her being sheltered from going to parties and hanging out with friends. In reality, I work 60hrs a week in a good career and she is a student who quite frankly isn’t much for going out as a person anyhow. I believe the problem is she is in a bit of flight mode, nervous as she needs to do well in school to onto a PhD. She also may feel like she’s hit 25/26 and is getting closer to being past her prime? We both have lived separately due to distance the past few months as it stands so we were fairly independent couple. I think she needs to feel alone for a while and just focus on what’s in front of her?

Myself (27) and my girlfriend (25) have dated for just over 5 years. We broke up for around 2 months 3 years in to allow me to work through poor mental health and grieve a family loss. It felt mutual. After that we became stronger and began to live together for just over a year. My girlfriend then started her masters and we became long distance for the last 5 months. We spent the holidays together and was great. She abruptly ended things over the phone saying she needed to feel alone and independent. We met a week later and had a long conversation which was productive. We shared some laughs and tears. She spoke about some co dependency we have. I shared that I view her as a life partner but agreed no contact was the best path forward. A few days later her family texted me individual saying they were sorry to hear and here for me. A few days after that, she accidentally messaged me and hoped I was doing well. Another two weeks past of no contact, and I reached out to see if we could meet in a mutual point as I knew both be in the same area. She responded by saying it is too soon for any meet up, but said if it was urgent she would talk. I respected her and said I understand and went back into NC. She is under pressure in her studies and wasn’t doing the best mentally before hand. I feel confident and hopeful as she hasn’t fully shut any doors. I really love her and have told her I see my life with her and am flexible to work through any problems or support her. Our families love each other as well. How do you think I should approach this situation? Should I reach out again in a few weeks? I think deep down she knows our relationship was not the problem and maybe this gives us time to work on ourselves before we truly commit to the next level.