Mysterious Gurl
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lol yeah, It's good to vent, I sometimes just get so caught up in my feelings when I'm around those people that I want to explode right at them .. the times I have been tempted to stand up and say "Hey you! I exist! don't just sit there ignore me!" and Only now I realise that sounds so corny!!! It's just as though people I work with .. see me when they want something, they treat other staff like friends and have make jokes about things and I'm just thinking, would it ya to include me in the joke/conversation?? They make me feel so down, I have no idea how to make them see that I'm a mature, hard working person with feelings too. It's as though I have to prove myself to them??? For instance, about a week ago when the science staff and lab technicians where having lunch, the teacher I kinda like, was swearing while he was telling this funny story and he was acting a right prat! then afterwards when I went in to his class to put some experiments in there .. he spoke to me as though I was a kid! I hate that they ignore, and if in the future, I ever work there as a teacher (like I hope I do) I know I will never ignore the young student working there. Hope you had a good day too shysoul! Miya
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I know it's the law .. but why do people assume all youngsters are "too young" to understand a relationship? I can understand the law on student/teacher relationships for obvious reasons, and I know (and theres been loads of times) when I have had a crush on a teacher, (and sometimes possibly more than a crush)and I have talked about it with people, they say the same thing "your to young" Frankee, I know exactly how you feel. I have feelings on a teacher at the moment. However my sistuation is a little different because he's isn't my teacher I just work with him. I suggest you keep these feelings to yourself, and try to keep it as as a crush by realising (and I know this is very, very hard) that all this teacher can be is eye candy. I know it's hard, Miya x x
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Hey, I'm sorry - I didn't meant to make sound as though you wound me up. It's just me .. when I was writing that post .. I was reflecting on it, and it all came screaming back in to my head and I just lost it. It wasn't your fault at all!!! I'm sorry, I should have made that clear. I'm sorry to hear you and your friend feel down also, I wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone, not even my worst enemy. I'm rather flirty and chatty actually .. I'm always flirting with people, teachers (but in a non attractive way lol) students, the elderly lol .. I'm always complimenting people and making them feel good about themsleves and I smile and laugh a lot. So really .. no-one has a clue that I feel the way I do. I always ask how people are, I ask them how their weekends were, how their feeling etc .. people do ask me back .. but I always have to make the first move! I feel discriminated because of my age. I just get so upset because .. I feel so lonely and un-noticed (not that I'm an attention seeker) and when I feel un-noticed .. I wish I had someone special to make me feel as though I have a reason to live. I really like this teacher. He's never taught me and I'm a college student, but he has a girlfriend and I envy her so much. I just hope she really appreciates him because he's just one of the nicest guys I know, but ssaying that .. he sometimes makes me like a ghost .. so I guess he's not worth my attention. I hope you and your friend find someone special very soon, and I hope that person appreciates you for the great person you are, you and your friend. Take care, Miya *hugs*
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It's so hard to stay positive when you have gone so long without. I just don't know how I'm feeling right now, I usually get depressed at this time of yr because your constantly reminded or valentines day coming up and seeing couples together, valentines gifts and knowing your going to be alone. Like a poster before said, it's juts like singles awareness day lol It's just I envy couples so much! I want to be in the shoes of someone who is in a great relationship, just so I know that love feels like, that way I can determin whats love and whats an obsessive crush .. I'm just son confused about everything. I hate it though because I feel non existent, it's as though no-one realises I have feelings that are easily hurt. When I'm in the lab and a teacher says "Oh .. Miya! please can you get me" or "I need" or "would you be able to" and I'm yeah sure .. but if I was dead on the floor they'd notice me missing when they want something for their stupid lesson! Then it would be "Ohh sh*t she's dead! who's going to sort out my requisitions now????" Teachers ask the other lab technicians how their weekends are, what their up to, how thweir families are and I'm like "why can't you ask me??" Why am I looked down at all the time????? What do I have to for people to realise I exist?? They make me feel so discriminated because I'm the youngest! If I say something, their going to think I'm a winging and having a teenage tantrum! I feel really angry now! I can't believe I have just wound myself up over this! Miya
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Hey, Thanks for your post. I realise I am cared about by some people, but without sounding ungreatful .. I want to be cared about by someone else other than my friends and families. Valentines day is coming up, and I know I'm going to so depressed and miserable. It hurts knowing your going to be alone, and the person you want to spend it with, is with someone else I know nothing could ever happen between me and that teacher, and I kind of hope nothing will. He does sometimes talk to me as though I'm one of his students and I aren't. Or he doesn't look at me when he talks which is a bit ignorant. What I think is relly nice, is if a person is talking to another person, and they look you, if makes you feel apart of the conversation. I just want to feel loved, is that so wrong? I just feel so lonely and I have no idea how to even deal with it. Take care, Miya
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First of all sober up! second of all, getting yourself drunk isn't going to make this situation any better for you. This girl is with someone else. Yes it hurts, I know, but you have to let her go. I know it's easier said than done, but you are 17, you have the rest of yourlife before you to meet someone who loves you just as much as you love them, so if you end your life, you are going to miss out on a load of opportunities.
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wow! I'm sooooo glad to have read this post! I didn't think I was ever going to find anyone who agrees and shares the exact feelings as me on this topic! I'm 16 going to be 17 in March and I have always fallen for guys older than me. The thing that really gets on my nerves is, when somone says "why don't you find a nice boy your own age?" To be honest all the boys at college are well immature. Thanks for posting that! Miya
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thanks, i'm just glad someone can understand where i'm coming from. I hate feeling like this. I dont want to feel dead but everytime i feel this empty space .. i want to cry my weight in tears
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Heya everyone, I haven't posted in a while, but I just need to get all my thoughts and feelings out of my system. I'm 16 going on 17, and I work in my college lab as part of my training course I'm doing. My job is basically preparing requisitions and putting them in to classrooms so that the experiments are ready for the lessons. I have my lunch in the science staff room with the sciecne teachers, but because I'm, the youngest no-one really notices me. They don't talk to me or even look at me. It really hurts because don't blank them out. If I see them, I smile or say hello, I ask them how their weekends were etc .. but do anyone of them do that to me? no they don't. They only notice me if they need something doing or if they want something for their lessons. Why can't they see me? Sometimes, I can be completely on my own in the lab or in the staff room, and I think "if I was dead, covered in blood with a knife in my hand how long would it be before someone found me?" and when they do, would they even care? I mean they have hundreds of students so if I'm dead, it's one less pupil to worry about right? The only obvious people who'd care is my mum and dad but my relationship with them isn't really that good. Sometimes I feel so alone, even in a room full of people I feel so lost and lonely. I'm only wanted by my mum and dad and my three closest friends. As much as I love y friends and family, even when I'm around them .. they can't fill my empty space inside. I have got strong feelings for one of the teachers I work with, but he has a girlfriend (story of my life) but he sometimes talks to me and he listens but even he sometimes blanks me out. He's so sweet though, he cares deeply about his students and he makes me feel alive when ever I talk to him because when he does talk to me, he listens. He does fill my empty space and I could go on forever telling you how. I'm a very positive person though .. I mean if I start to feel the slightest big negative about something, I do something to make me happy like, watch football, go online, shopping etc .. I wont pay any attention to my sadness but I think now it's all catching up with me. I hope this all makes sense. When home time came, I was just about to cross the road, and there was a funeral car with a coffin in it, and I just wished I could have swapped places with the person inside that coffin. I really wanted nothing more than to be dead, then suffer this lonliness feeling that I can't seem to fill. This guy can never fill this space because he is a teacher and he has a girlfriend and I'm just not worth anything to him. I'm feeling so utterly confused, but I don't want to die, until I know what love actually feels like .. Thanks for reading, Miya
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Heya everyone! I promised that this year I would stick to my resolutions. One of them was to cut down completely on all the junk food I usually eat. I am cutting down on: coffee coke chocolate take away food (rarely eat it anyways) and all things bad! but I'm finding this so hard! I keep getting awful cravings for coffee and coke and sugary foods! I have swapped coke for fruit drinks, chocolate for a healthy sandwhiches and have stopped drinking 5-6 coffees a day and have one every couple of days. It's hard, if I give in I'll feel weak and pathetic. I weigh 10 and a half stone and I'm 16 (going on 17 in March) but I want to stop eating junk food because I want to tone up a lot. I feel like I gained a little weight over christmas. I'm going to start at the gym next week once I have made an appointment for an induction. I have been eating less as well. I feel really hungry but when I have eaten a sarnie I feel full .. but kinda hungry as well... I aren't sure how to explain what I mean. Some help would be much appreciated! Take care everyone, Miya
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aye ma friedn told me shes half scottish all her family are from glasgow easterhoose lol
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I have tried, I have tried har but I will never be able to meet the standards they expect of me. My mum calls me the most hideous names and calls my friends all the names under the sun as well. she wanted me to go to night school and get a job and I said no. Shes always telling me about how gormless I am and how I am waste of time. she purposely compares me to my brother and sister about how stupid they were and it winds me up. I am getting to the point where I just want to hit them constantly. I need space before I can't cantrol my temper any longer
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wow I feel gutted now. I'll never be able to afford all that. and yes my parents ARE unfair. Me and Frankie where bothing going to work. I just need some space. I can't begib to explain why I want to get away because I want it so badly.
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Heya everyone! I'm 17 in March (I realize that is a little while off) but I think it's best to plan things in advanced. I am having a rough time at home, that I have decided enough is enough! I need my own independence, my own space and my own freedom. My parents are suffocating me and will not stop shouting at me. Anyway I am not going in to detail. What I'm asking for is some advice about moving out probably next summer. I'm talking about a small apartment above a shop or something. Anyway a close friend of mine Frankie agreed to move in with me for support and for company as she too is having a stressful time at home. What I want to know is, will I be able to manage? I mean I will be at college doing A-levels and I will be getting a part time or Saturday job. I would like support on this, thanks
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Over coming a phobia
Mysterious Gurl replied to Mysterious Gurl's topic in Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
wow thanks for that DN! i'll try it -
Over coming a phobia
Mysterious Gurl replied to Mysterious Gurl's topic in Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
I'm sure I will get used to it in time. It's just quite hard at the moment. I fainted in yr 10 when we did the pigs heart or sheep eye whatever it was .. and I don't want to faint again. I have until september to get used to used to dissecting. I want to ask a couple of biology teachers about diessecting and how they stomach it, but I feel kinda embarrased too can you think of a way I could ask them about it? Im a bit shy thanks Miya -
Over coming a phobia
Mysterious Gurl replied to Mysterious Gurl's topic in Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
I aksed my biology teacher who is the head of science, and she said if you are squeamish you don't dissect and if you aren't you just go ahead and dissect. It was quite helpful information as it was stuff I already knew. I think I can handle dissecting the organs .. it's probably the animal itself that I will feel very weak about. The idea of cutting a mouse down the middle is kinda gross and mean I attempted to watch Casualty on tv again and I can only hand so much before I feel faint. I'm going to try eating breakfast as an above poster said and hopefully this is a process of getting over my phobia, thanks Miya -
Over coming a phobia
Mysterious Gurl replied to Mysterious Gurl's topic in Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
I want to be a biology teacher -
Over coming a phobia
Mysterious Gurl replied to Mysterious Gurl's topic in Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
You might still have a chance to pursue your career, despite your phobia. Many courses are using "virtual dissestion" now. Do you think you could stomach seeing a simulation of a dissection via computer? I'm not sure what you mean by this? Sorry I haven't heard of what is it exactly? Is hypnotism expensive? I might try it. I don't want my phobia to stop me in my career but it might. The thing thats worst is when we have to watch a video on organs and on blood related topics; this makes me feel worse than ever. I can almost handle the sheep eye and the pigs heart but I feel faint at anything else. Even teacher student conversations on blood and organs makes me feel sick to the stomach. I tried making myself watch programmes with topics on blood but it just made me feel sick. This documentary (Drastic Plastic) was live surgery and it showed images and footage of skin been cut and blood oozing out and I switched it over before I threw up. I even feel a little faint writing about it. Thanks for all your replies! Miya -
Hello everybody! I have posted once or twice about being squeamish. If I'm near blood or there is a conversation going on about blood or body organs etc .. I feel really faint and light headed. I remember last yr in yr 11 I had to dissect a sheep eye, and as soon as I started to dissect I fainted immediately. The thing is having a phobia or blood or anything related to blood is going to be a hindrance to my career. As mad as this seems I actually fancy the idea of being a biology teacher, in which case I will have to dissects things and watch videos on the human bodies. I really want to have a strong stomach because otherwise this fear will take over my life. Has anyone got any ideas of how to over come this fear?? I tried by making myself watch this documentary called 'drastic plastic' and it was about live plastic surgery. I couldn't take it! I felt like jelly and I thought I was going to be sick! Any help would be appreciated! Miya
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coffee addiction
Mysterious Gurl replied to Mysterious Gurl's topic in Health: Body, Mind and Spirit
I have about 3 or 4 cups of coffee a day with four sugars. I cannot have a coffee without 4 sugars! I don't like tea at all. But thanks fro all your replies -
Hello! I was just wondering if anyone knew how to beat coffee addiction?? If you don't beat it, is it dangerous? Miya
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I'm guessing by your post your from America? I'm in the UK so things are different. Your brave moving away from home and leaving friends and family behind. I'm not that strong to do something this big on my own. All I know is if I go I will get a better start in life. I just don't see how I can make myself enjoy it with thos worries I said in my first post. Miya
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Hello, today in 6th form, I had a personal tutor meeting with a teacher to talk about grades, achievements, college life so for etc ... anyway it came on to the topic of university. I always had a dream of going, ever since I could walk and talk. My sister Louise went to uni and I felt dead proud on her graduation day. I saw her in her robes and that cool hat they wear, I knew right away I was going to be there some day. But as a kid I didn't understand university the life, the stress the dealines and now that I'm more aware of unversity life I don't want to go. These are things that terrify me about uni: Deadlines (I stress and worry to much about work) Debt having to move towns stress of having to fit in, in a new environment and making friends Anyway I never got a chance to tell my tutor all this because we spoke for about 10 minutes. Anyway if I don't go to uni I'll regret it later on in life. If I go I know I'll feel miserable and probably wont make an effort. The thing is I'll never get a decent job without uni, but I just don't want to go!?!?! Any suggestions would be appreciated, Miya
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Hi all, I have just had my hair dyed and I was just wondering whether the colour would fade or go back to my original colour when I go swimming? If it should fade or bleach, how can I protect my hair? I can't use those swim caps. (I have tried before and I got awful head aches) Miya