maverick

To be honest, there is no way I could hookup with someone else knowing she is still my girlfriend....call me old fashioned, but I can't. I can understand where she is coming from, wanting to not "miss out" on college....but if she is too immature to handle this, then it isn't worth me getting repeatedly screwed over. Thanks!

Alright, i'll try to explain this as best as possible. Let's start from the beggining. My girlfriend and I have been going out now for about 6 months. At the end of the summer, we told eachother we would stay together and that things would definitely work out. Last Saturday I gave my gf a call and she never called back.....Sunday morning she didn't even bother to say, "sorry i didn't call back, I was busy..." Sunday night she talks on the phone for about 10 minutes, being very distant etc. Monday I call her, she doesn't answer, and doesn't call back later on. Tuesday we didn't even talk on the phone, and very minimal chatting online. Wednesday I definitely knew something terrible happened, because of the way she was acting on the phone/online. Thursday I wake up and she im's me saying that we needed to talk. So I answer he call and she goes, "I just wanted to let you know, I kissed another guy...." I was like, "when did this happen...what the hell, how could you....." She goes, well, it happened last weekend. I was glad she was honest with me, but so disappointed in the fact that she had only been at school ONE WEEK before she cheated on me, and then waits 5 days to tell me. Anyways after flipping out and going crazy for half of the day, we talked at night, I forgave her, tell her I still trusted her and hoped everything would get back to the way it was asap. She told me it would never happen again. So Friday afternoon I decided it would be best for the relationship if I visited her at college. I took the car and drove 6 hours to see her. When I got there things were fine, it was as if nothing happened and I was happy. Saturday morning she was being very distant, didn't have anything to say and ultimately it was incredibly awkward to be around her. I tried to talk to her and she asked me, "would you still feel the same way about me if we weren't together?" I said, "first off, are you trying to tell me you don't want to be together?" and she goes, "no.....i just want to know." I said, "i would still have strong feelings, but obviously they wouldn't be on the same level, how could they?" She goes, "well I could have the same feelings for you." So the rest of Saturday was very awkward to say the least, we didn't settle anything and I was extremely frustrated, understandably so. We went to this party and I felt like I was gettng the cold shoulder, all I wanted to do was talk and get some reaction...something to work with. We went back to her dorm room and started talking, then she asked me, "do you love me?" i said, "we've been over this before....i do love you. i don't know how to describe it, it's a feeling not only i can say, but i can/have/will continue to show.....driving 6 hours to talk to you should let you know that." She goes, "well, im not old enough/experienced enough to say I love you yet....." I was like, "well i respect that, im glad you aren't just saying it for the sake of saying it to make me feel better." Then she goes, "I feel like I can be with you, have the same feelings, but hookup with someone else...." I said, "so what is the deal?" she goes, "is this an open relationship now?" I was like, "well I'll let you decide that..." So basically that's where it ended. I booked plane tickets to see her again in mid october and asked her if I was still welcome, she said "i want you to be here." Honestly, I really don't know what to think. For her to ever cheat on someone, especially a person she claimed to have such strong feelings for is totally out of character. I know adjustng to college is incredibly difficult...but everyone is in the same boat. I would love any advice at all to help me cope with this. It's pretty difficult. I did forgive her, I do still trust her and I still love her, regardless of all that has happened. I want to know what to do, how to go about it and ultimately what decision to make. I have a feeling that by Mid October, if things haven't progressed and she hasn't realized she needs to make a change in how to go about all of this, i tihnk im going to call it off. ANy advice is welcome, thankyou so much!

I haven't posted on here in a while....but the following is my dilemma. My girlfriend and I started going out back in March and things since then have been amazing. We've spent so much time together over the last four months, and I haven't had this much fun in my life. We both knew that one day we would have to say goodbye, because that little thing called College would get in the way. As I sit here and write this, all I can think about is going away to college and in turn, having to break up with my girlfriend. We haven't talked about breaking up, but we both assume that we're going to, based off what each of us has said. I have less than one month to spend with her, and as each day passes, I get sadder and sadder knowing that soon enough we will go our separate ways. Obviously I would love for us to stay together, but she will be in Boston and I will be in Phili. Granted, not the easiest of distances, but nothing major. I feel as though if things are perfect, why let college stand in the way of a fantastic relationship? But with a long distance relationship, problems may arise. As of now, the only thing I can think of that would make a long distance relationship so difficult is the fact that I wouldn't be able to see her for weeks at a time. I could see her during my fall break, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break and a few times in between....but I'm wondering what she would think of that. I would hate to go into this LD relationship and end up breaking up, leaving us both with mixed feelings. I would much rather end things on a good note, knowing that it would still be possible to start a relationship up again in the future. Ideally things would work out between us in the LD relationship, but I just don't know if that is possible. has anyone been in this situation? If so, any helpful comments or advice? I greatly appreciate it, thanks in advance.

Alrite, I am glad to be back at enotalone once again. I have quite a debacle I need to be solved. My best friend, whom I have known since birth has a very attractive sister with a great personality. We are also good friends. Would it be wrong of me to try and pursue a relationship with his sister? If so, why? ALso, how would I go about it to make the process less weird....Thanks in advance Maverick

It is good to be back at enotalone. I might as well just get to the point. It all started last spring. I met a girl and we started talking frequently. The summer passed by, and we rarely saw eachother. Senior year began. THis girl and I started to hang out more often and talk more often. I really started to like her about a month ago. I realized how special she was and how much i enjoy spending time with her. For the past few weeks I have been contemplaying whether to ask her out or not and have asked many people for advice. Here is where it gets interesting....Two nights ago her away message was basically "Tell me if you like me, I need to know." WOndering who it was directed towards I asked one of her friends and she said.."YES!!!" Now I finally got the information I was looking for. So Friday passed and caled her twice but she never picked up. We ended up talking online till 2am though. I am wondering how soon I should call her up and how I should go about asking her out. Thanks in advance for the advice....appreciate it. Maverick

Okay I have been away from this website for quite sometime but I must say I am glad to be back and see how caring others can be to eachother in times of struggle. THis girl I feel for back in february invited me over to her house, we had dinner and we planned what I thought was going to be a date. Long story short, she had to cancel and I jumped to conclusions and asked "did you just not wanna go to the movies?" and "do you think we have a future?" to her. She bascially got scared or thought I was taking things WAY to quick so she started to be distant and we didn't talk about the same stuff or talk at all for that matter for a few months. I just started talking to her again and I want to just be friends with her. I want to make the situation better and let her forget about the past. What can i do? Thanks for ur advice! Chris

After reading your post, I really think you should call her up and tell her how you feel. There is no better way to express your feelings, and it seems to me your feelings for her are great. Apologize for pissing her off while somewhat drunk that night and just start to talk to her again like you used to. You have had good times together in the past so there is obviously chemistry between you which is great. I think if you call her up, talk to her a bit more, maybe try and find a time when both of you can hang out and just chill. I hope this advice helps and keep me posted with results. Take care! Maverick

Well it sounds like she likes you from her gestures and hints. Personally, I think you need to make a move, let her know exactly how you feel and get it all in the open before the evil manager will turn her away. You should give her a call as sson as possible and plan a date in order to express how you feel and then you will know if things will work out or not. I'm not gonna lie, I really thinks she likes you. But do not take the distancing too seriously, girls can be like that sometimes, no one knows why. I think they tend to distance themselves in order to show that they haven't fully committed yet and don't want to lead the guy on. Good luck, and keep me posted on your situation. Take care! Maverick

Okay, there was this girl I really liked a few weeks ago. She had me over to her house, then out for dinner and we planned a date for the next night. Scheduling conflicts got in the way and it was cancelled. For some reason after that she seemed very distant and not talkative. Keep in mind we talked for hours at a time via instant messanger or phone. I asked if she thought things between her would work and and she said 'im sure they would." I really like her a lot and want to see how far we can go and at the time she said she wasn't really looking for a relationship. I agreed and believed her, only to find out she is now going out with some kid from a diffrent highschool. I dont' understand how 1. we can do stuff together and talk a lot one day and the next she is distant and dating someone else. 2. what am i to do? I would still like to go out with her regardless of the fact she kinda screwed me over. I really got to know her when we talked, we discussed personal and intimate subjects etc. and I thought things would work out great. To my surprise they didn't and I am confused. Can someone help me with this and give me some advice? Greatly appreciated, thanks!

Here are the lyrics to Christina Aguilera's song "Soar". Download it if possible. Otherwise read the lyrics. When they push, when they pull Tell me can you hold on When they say you should change Can you lift your head high and stay strong Will you give up, give in When your heart's crying out "that is wrong" Will you love you for you at the end of it all Now in life there's gonna be times When you're feeling low And in your mind insecurities seem to take control We start to look outside ourselves For acceptance and approval We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is Don't be scared To fly alone Find a path that is your own Love will open every door See in your hands the world is yours Don't hold back and always know All the answers you will unfold What are you waiting for Spread your wings and soar The boy who wonders, is he good enough for them Keep trying to please them all But he just never seems to fit in Then there's the girl who thinks she'll never ever be Good enough for him He's trying to change and That's a game she'll never win In life there will be times when you're feeling low And in your mind insecurities seem to take control We start to look outside ourselves For acceptance and approval We keep forgetting that one thing we should know is Don't be scared To fly alone Find a path that is your own Love will open every door See in your hands the world is yours Don't hold back and always know All the answers they will unfold What are you waiting for Spread your wings and soar In the mirror is where she comes Face to face with her fears Her reflection looked forward on to her After all these years However how she's tried to be Something besides herself Now time has passed and she's ended up Somewhere else with regret What is it is that makes us feel the need To keep pretending Gotta let ourselves be Don't be scared To fly alone Find a path that is your own Love will open every door See in your hands the world is yours Don't hold back and always know All the answers you will unfold Don't wait no more Spread your wings and soar Find your road Love will open every door See in your hands the world is yours Don't look back in the window, you'll find your way Always know all the answers will unfold Oh don't wait Spread your wings and soar Don't wait no more You've got to soar Spread your wings and soar Don't wait no more No don't you wait no more Spread your wings and soar You've can soar So what you waiting for Don't wait, Don't wait Soar

U need to calm down in my opinion. Guys are fascinated with the oppositte sex, especially when there is a lack of clothing. Take it easy, you have nothing to worry about. Good Luck! Maverick

Seems to me she has some dpression issues and problems with other things. What type of stuff did you argue about? I think you didn't need to break up rather get some space and do your own thing. I think you should talk to her over dinner, be totally serious and tell her you want to spend more time. I really think you need to find out why she is such an 'unhappy person.' that could be key to your relationship. Good luck! Maverick

Hello, I have been on this forum for almost a month now. I have been reading up on everybody's love life's, problems, ups and downs. I too have had relationship problems and that is how I joined this close knit forum. First off I want to thank everyone who has helped me with problems or questions recently, I really appreciate it. Although relationships and friendships are all around us for most of our lives, we all have to realize that we are only here for a period of time and no one knows how long it may be. I think all of us, including myself need to sit back, relax and really savor the time we spend with those we love and hold close to our heart. There is no need to want to end your life or get so mad and upset to the point of sleep deprivation becasue in the end, it won't matter who u loved or who u almost got with becasue we will all be in the same place. If any of you are having trouble asking someone out, why? Wouldn't you rather know the answer then just hope and pray they say yes? Any of you having trouble with your mates? Talk to them, hear what they have to say. Conversation is key in everything. In every occupation or relationship, talking is involved. Basically, what I am trying to get at is that no matter how badly you feel about someone or how depressed you get over a loved one, nothing is ever worth self inflicted pain. Remember who you are and be yourself. I hope this not only made sense but helped a few people realize that we are here on earth for a relatively short amount of time and to make the most of it. Especially with the war looming in the Middle East. Best Wishes! Take Care, Maverick

Okay, well this girl I really liked and hung out with a few times told me that she doesn't really want a boyfriend at this moment but definetly we could go out later on. I used to keep in touch everyday, either online or via phone and lately she hasn't been online that much. I still really like her and would go out with her but it wouldn't work out right now. I am wondering whether I should still call her up every so often just to chat or give it a break and in a month or two call her up, talk for a long time and see what can happen. I appreciate all your help. Thanks again! Maverick

Hey guys, thanks for all your previous advice, really appreciate it. I have been hanging out and talking to her recently and I really like her. My problem is this, she is involved with one of her friends right now and I get the feeling that she isn't ready for a commiting relationship. That is fine, but what is next? I don't want to pressure her or make her choose between us. I really just would like the chance to go out with her and see if things would work out. Any advice? Or do I just wait it out? Thanks again! Maverick

Any of you who have read my previous posts understand my predicament and if not i'll give you the short version. So this girl and I have been talking, we 're hanging out then we go to dinner and plan on seeing a movie and dinner the next night. Plans get in the way and the date gets cancelled etc. We haven't talked about the same topics or to the same extent as we had been previously and I feel she is distant. I have called but she is either working or busy and I haven't gotten the chance to tell her how I really feel and where this relationship will end up going. Do I call her whenever she is free and discuss this or just plan another date and take it from there? Any advice is appreciated, thanks! Maverick

Santa, I can understand your question perfectly. Personally, I think that going through relationships even if you think they may not be 'the one' that is perfect is the way to go. While in a relationship, you gain knowledge and information about experiences and situations you would not know about otherwise. Basically, the only way to know if that person is the one, is to go through a relationship. You will never know unless you try, aren't I right? Best of luck, everything will work out. Keep me posted. Maverick

Okay, well I have gotten all the advice I need regarding my over reactions and tips on conversations etc. THis is a little diffrent though. I recently found out that the girl who I am hanging out with and intend on dating is hooking up with one of her best friends. We aren't going out yet and i'm not mad by any means, but how can I approach her and talk to her about us, while she will be with this guy at a dance? Do I just call her and shoot the bull or do I call her immediately and express my feelings etc. I just don't feel comfortable doing all of this knowing that this weekend she will be at a dance with one of her good friends. I don't want to make her choose or put her in an akward situation so do I just wait it out and call her next week?? I just don't understand how we can hang out, have dinner one night, and then the next week we don't end up talking. Any advice at all will help, thanks in advance! Maverick

I know this isn't much of a problem but no advice? Maverick

Hello, I greatly appreciate all your advice concerning my relationship. Okay, I have regrouped etc. and we are talking and things are back to normal. This coming saturday she has a formal at her school, we discussed this and her best choice was to take a good friend so there was no romantic pressure, i agreed. I can't really bring up the topic of us dating during this week, can I? I think it would be akward to plan a date two weeks in advance and I realize I should and will just wait it out. But in the meantime what type of things do we talk about and how do I go about conversation and telling her I want to pro-long our relationship. I just don't feel comfortable talking to her about it becasue on saturday she will be at her formal. Any tips or advice??? Thanks again! Maverick

Okay why not start off from the beggining. This past week, I was out all week from school due to snow. A girl and former classmate of mine started to talk to me. It became one of the highlights of my day. After 3-4 days of talking, we exchange phone numbers and I get a call. She invites me over to her house, we hang out, watch some tv and had a good time. After I got back home, we talked on the phone for about an hour and I felt great. That night after I had dinner, she gave me a call wondering if I wanted to join her and one of her girlfriends for dinner. I joined them for dinner and conversation. We walked around town, flirting etc. and then I went back home. That night we planned to go see a movie and have dinner on Saturday after her soccer games. Saturday arrives and at 1:00pm I get a phone call saying that she can't go and she is sorry. She sounded sick but never really told me the reason she couldn't make it. Once I got home, I called her and asked if she just didn't feel like going with me to see a movie. (Personally, I think ishouldn't have asked this, having gone over to her house nad dinner I knew she liked me, but I wanted to know for sure.) SHe told me she really wanted to go, but that her mom wouldn't let her go out again. It's about 7:00 on a saturday night and my plans were cancelled and had nothing to do. I left her a message wondering if she wanted to go get something to eat or do something if she could, although I knew her parents probably wouldn't let her. That night we talked and she said she was confused by my message and said she couldn't have made it becasue her last soccer game ended at 9:30. So afterall, even if her mom did let her go out she wouldn't have been able to make it and I woulda been waiting at the movies. I am the type of person who jumps the gun on many situations and I feel like I did on this one. I think that instead of asking, "did u just not wanna go see a movie" and leaving a message on her phone, I should;ve just relaxed, played it cool and done nothing. But now everytime we talk I sense that the relationship is 1. going downhill and 2. lost its chemistry. I really like her and all her qualities and just want to know for sure if she feels the same way about me. She will be out of town next week so I can't ask her out then but hopefully the week after. Should I express my feelings toward her, and if so would it be better over the phone rather than online? Are there any suggestions anyone could give me regarding my situation and what can I possibly do to revive this relationship. I just feel that we don't talk as much as we did a week ago. I really appreciate all your advice and thankyou in advance. Take Care. Maverick

Thanks for your advice guys! I have been thinking about it and I think personally that I am pressing over the situation. Yesterday I asked her flat out if she just didn't want to see the movie with me and then later that night I asked her if she could go to the mall. By asking her these questions do you think, 1. i am pressing or 2. I just really like her and want to see her asap. Whats my next move? Thanks!

Hello! In gradeschool there was this girl who I admired. Now that I am in highschool, we finally got to talking and we have hung out a few tiems, gone to dinner etc. She wanted to see a movie with me and we were all set to go tonight until she called me with some bad news. She couldn't go. She sounded somewhat sick and tired. I am wondering whether or not this is a signal of some sort or if this means she doesn't like me. I really like her alot, we have talked for hours at a time and I would love to be in a relationship with her. I am just wondering whether I should be upfront and say, "Does this mean you don't wanna go out?" or relax and see what happens. I think things could work out very well but I also could be over analyzing this small phone call. Any advice or tips are greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

I went to grade school with this girl who I am now friends with and we have been talking a lot lately. The other day we hung out and then went to dinner. We were all set to go to the movies tonight until I got a phone call saying she couldn't go. Should I wonder whether or not she really didn't feel well or she jus didn't want to go? Please any advice will help. Thankyou!

I'm new to this forum and I was just wondering about dinner topics. I have gotten to know this person very well over the last few weeks. I am wondering if you have any advice as to what types of topics i should bring up at dinner to pro-long the conversation. Thanks! Maverick