Jump to content

wantTOkillMYSELF

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    35

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by wantTOkillMYSELF

  1. wantTOkillMYSELF
    i have a hard time trusting people ... why? because of what ive been through in past relationships. ive been abused and misused, taken advantage of, treated awfully, then abandoned. now when i try to make a new relationship, or whenever i converse with about anyone i always have a feeling like "i dont really even wanna be talking.. id rather be quiet", and its almost like i force myself to even talk or be friends with people. It's hard to trust people because you get hurt so easily, whether it be friends, girlfriend or whatever. I don't know why it is like this.. but ever since the last close relationship i had with a friend, and him treating me the way he did, and then him changing to another school to get away from everything.... it still has a pull on me, and it hurts every day.... how do i move on? how do i meet new friends and be happy about it? how do i trust them? I used to have no problems making friends, but when i see someone im interested in , i force myself into talking to them.. but i still have this "blehhh i dont really even feel like talking" feeling. and what should i do? i want to be more open with people, and meet lots of new people... i need some advice or suggestions... thanks.
  2. wantTOkillMYSELF
    also, i should add i met some of his new friends at the bowling alley and they were all outside doing drugs. his mom doesnt know any of this.
  3. wantTOkillMYSELF
    I'm leaving to go to a friends house in about an hour. so plese reply quickly. i'll keep this brief. for 3 weeks he has been saying he could go out of town with me this weekend, and me and the family had plans to do so. he called friday night and said he coudlnt, but we could do something together over the weekend. said we would do something friday, but canceleed and made me and my parents all suffer. said we'd do something saturday, he cancelled again. and we had plans to take him somewhere today, and he called 10 minutes before time to go, and he decided to go with this girl instead, and left us stuck here again. im going to his house in an hour, im ont supposed to be there for 3 hours, but im getting there early to talk to his mom. should i talk to her about this? He lied to 2 his mom last weekend (i posted something about this) and said he was goign to the movies, but he went joyriding with 2 girls while they was drunk, and were doing things that could get them into serious trouble. he lied to his mom and said she was 15 and was going with her, and her mom. she is really 18, and the other girl was 19. he is doing the same thing again tonight. i have had many adults at school ask me about him, they have heard lots of rumors such as the girl being pregnant. and the man who works at the bowling alley saw them out that night and told my dad. She was going to check him out of school last friday (3 days ago) right after it started so they could go back to her house where they would be alone and she was going to take him home that night. and his mom would never have known, he told her hee was going to go to the football game, luckily he couldnt do anything. they are out right now joyriding around doing those sorts of thigns again. i think his mom needs to know. He turned 15 about 5 days ago. and she is turning 19 and the other girl 20 next month. she has slept with over 20 different guys.
  4. wantTOkillMYSELF
    My friend was trying to get me to lie to my parents about where we were going, we were supposedly going to the movies with two 15 year old girls, or at least that what he wanted me to tell my parents. I didnt go, the girls were really 18 and 19 years old, he was only 14, and i was 15. I didnt want to go because i was scared, and i knew my parents would find out some how... and sure enough, my dad found out. We go bowling every wednesday, and the guy who owns the bowling alley was out, and saw my friend and these 2 girls. My friend is white, and the one girl is black, she is 18, and they are dating as of yesterday. He lied to his parents and told them they were goin to the movies, but they went out joyriding doign things that could have gotten them killed or in big trouble. His girlfriend was drunk and they were all over the road.. and they pulled off and went out in the woods together and were alone.... i dont know what to do about this, i feel like his parents should know, there are a lot of people saying his girlfriend is pregnant. and when you put the pieces together it seems like it could be true.
  5. wantTOkillMYSELF
    sounds just like the way he used to be... but since im his only friend now, its different. id say hed be the same way again if he had more friends.
  6. wantTOkillMYSELF
    they get jelous because they think im spoiled and dont have much responsibility. they think i get everything i want, and everyone likes me. see, like right now i have a friend moving out of town, and i wanted to go too cuz we're bros. but he told me that his mom would move him back if i went. i talked to her and she said she didnt hate me or have anything against me or anything. so her not liking me isnt the problem i dont believe. so i asked my friend "if it wasnt up to your mom, would you want me to go?" and he kept saying "but it is up to my mom" , he never would answer the question. im not sure why he wont just answer the questoin that i asked him.
  7. wantTOkillMYSELF
    what is up with this? Every time i get close to a friend, they start getting jelous of me, and the will compete with me and make me jelous of them, or they will start doing crap to me and everything goes down from hill. i keep going through the same thing and keep getting used! I feel like there's nothing left, ive gone through all the people at my school to be friends with. there are only 500 people... i wanna change schools but im just so depressed about everything.
  8. wantTOkillMYSELF
    Ever since I was a little boy I never would take my shirt off or socks off, i did when I was 3 or 4 years old, but then my family would make fun of me, just normal stuff like i hear a lot of parents pick on their kids for. But they would always make fun of me for my feet or my body or something and now its affected me, and i have not walked around without a shirt, socks, or anything since i was 3-4 years old, and i havent been to the pool or anywhere where people would take clothes off. We are putting in a new inground pool and i wont even swim in it because i dont want to take anything off in front of them, it just doenst feel right. Anyone know how I can get over this? It just bothers me everytime i think about it and i wont even change clothes in front of friends. Also, I do plan on getting over it, but still not in front of my family, I have hair on my stomach, chest and its coming on my back too. It is weird to have no one ever see you without a shirt or socks and then all the sudden you take it off and its like "hes a man". anyone understand how i feel? I'm going to shave it, but what should i shave and what should i leave to make it look natural? Should i do anything to it to make it look more natural? Also, does a tan help keep stubble from shaving, show up as easy? Thank you hope to get some good replies.
  9. wantTOkillMYSELF
    Well, being a guy and have as many open girl friends as i do i get to listen to them talk all the time (cuz thats what they do anyways lol) about who should wear what etc etc. I have never heard a girl say she likes guys in sleeveless shirts, especially when they are going out somewhere, and usually not even in the summer etc. Also, being a guy I notice that yes usualy feminine and gay men wear them and there are a lot more gay and feminine men than any of you would think. 2nd its mostly egotistical macho studs (as they think of themselves) who wear clothes like that. As i read this i started thinking, that of all my guy friends, there are only a few who like wearing sleeveless shirts, and they are the ones who think all the girls want them, and only do it to flaunt their arms making people think "ohh what else do they have". I think its disrespectful and shows disrespect for yourself. but of course i always believe there are exceptions for anything, but not for people who are always out trying to show off, its ridiculous.
  10. wantTOkillMYSELF
    I hope this is the right forum... ive been single 14 months happily, and now i decided that i want to get back to dating... There is a girl that I like, but we dont have any classes at school and dont talk hardly ever at all.... we go to the same church, where her dad is the minister, and her family goes there... I used to have a major crush on her, now I like her again. She is very "nice" , and doesnt talk about anything nasty in any way at all... how do I talk to her when there just never seem to be any time? What should I do ? Should I try and be nice to her friends? Any help would be nice thanks!
  11. wantTOkillMYSELF
    Hey, ive dont that too "suck in" i can do it all day.. its not hard at all! i would say keep doing that for the time being, but try and lose the weight, make yourself lose it!
  12. wantTOkillMYSELF
    yep, like justsweet said, ive seen it happen, they'll "drop it like its hot" as snoop dogg would say
  13. wantTOkillMYSELF
    is there anything i should maybe say to him to make him want to do it more? How should I mess around with him? We're getting together again in 3 days. Its like, if I dont go too fast and all, then HE starts going faster and he wants to pick up the pace and move on.... what do you think could end up happening? Please... a few people reply? Also, he had this really nice smile on his face when i was rubbing around on him, and he said he liked it .... if he wants me to do it and likes it so much then why wont he let me masturbate him? i was already rubbing.... im confused
  14. wantTOkillMYSELF
    ok listen, he came back over again last night and we were messing around and he let me feel his body and all, and we were masturbating in front of eachother except he was still under the covers and i was in the open. He touched mine with his foot and let me rub it against his foot up and down..... then he told me 'come here' and he let me touch his penis with my hand but he was guidang be around down there... not skin on skin though... then ... he let me do it 6 more times, and the last 3 were skin on skin and the 3rd and last time he let me rub it for about 2 minutes. HE was really sleepy it was 5 in the morning so we stopped. He didnt let me touch the "head end" of it , but he let me rub everywhere else. Then he decided he was going to show me, but chickened out.... he kept saying "so , anything else you wanan do?" and i kep saying things and he let me, but nothing was as big as that.... waht do you think? he said he cant wait till next time, he'd do it all again and maybe more, every time he comes over we go a lil further... so.... u think next time we may masturbate eachother? or what? opinion? help? what should i do/say to him when the moment is there?
  15. wantTOkillMYSELF
    yeah, i do need to get around to that... i was in a state of depression and at the time when i made my first post i was serious about it, but this is my 3rd "help" post. so i think that wanting to die part is over.... So, you think this has nothing to do with anything like sexuality etc? And its ok to do these things to get them out of my system and its healthy? interesting...
  16. wantTOkillMYSELF
    My friend spent the night at my house and we were just messing around all day having fun blah blah. We got home from basketball practice and played a game of charades with my parents and then they went to bed. Me and my friend stayed up and got on the computer and we looked at a little bit of porn but got bored with it.... so we made a deal that we would both go lay under the covers on a separate couch and masturbate without eachother seeing eachother. Then we were talking while doing it and we were wondering who had the biggest penis and I said I'd show him if he would, but he didn't want to show his (he wont take his shirt off or socks or anything so i didnt expect him to). he told me come over here and show me, and i set beside him and after about 5 minutes finally pulled it out and then I started masturbating in front of him and he watched me. He kept doing it to but he stayed under the covers. He touched my penis with his foot 2 times because I told him to, that i didnt care. I liked it and he was laughing about it. We talked about it later and he said it was cool and I could do it again, I wanted him to show to, I am not gay but I feel like I want to compare and masturbate with him, it seems like fun. I asked him if he wanted to do it any at all when I did and he said "yeah.. i wanted to really bad for a minute .. until i came" What do you all think? do you think he wil eventually do it in front of me If i keep doing it in front of him or what?
  17. wantTOkillMYSELF
    Ok, my friend has been dating this girl for a couple of days and he keeps telling me all that he's gonna do with her etc etc. Ever since he's dated her me and him have had BBBBIIIGGGG problems! He said he would break up with her so we could stay good but I don't want him to because I believe that he really likes her. The thing is.. I am just so mad, its distracting me all the time! I didn't even go to school today becuz im in such a bad mood and feel depressed and all. When I think about the things he says he is going to do with her, it just makes me even more mad and I can't stand it. I am sort of afraid that he's gonna kindof forget about me and I don't want that. He's gonna go to the pool with her every day of the summer this summer and I cant even go to the pool... (i cant go to the pool because of my hair problem that ive told about) i feel like we're just gonna be torn apart. Then on weekend he wants to go skating with her and to the movies ... he's 14 yrs old geez. Maybe someone knows how I feel... I never even got a chance with the girl that I "REALLY LOVE". I can see them at the mall walking, holding hands... then kissing... all of this is just making me hurt so bad- and I've said a lot of thigns to him that I regret, they weren't really bad things, but I still feel bad. He's afraid we won't be friends after the summer so I just told him "why are we even talking then? it seems like just a waste of time"... someone pleasae help me - how do i get over this?
  18. wantTOkillMYSELF
    how am i supposed to do that? im 15 what would u think....
  19. wantTOkillMYSELF
    I have hair pretty much all over from and I believe by studying it on the net that it is from an insulin problem. I am 15 years old and I dont have a job , I will have my learner's in a week. I want to get rid of the hair on my back and on my shoulder to my elbow part of my arm. I dont want it to be noticible so Shaving is not an option plus you have to do that every day. I cant talk to my parents about it so thats not an option either. But I need something to do about it REALLY SOON because I'm going to cocoa beach florida in about a week with one of my friends and if I cant figure out something to do with my hair then I'm not going I thought about going to the movies one night and sneaking over to the drugstore and getting something but I wouldnt know what to get, can you wax your back by yourself? I was scared to go buy something because I didnt want to see someone I knew or for the clerks to remember me or whatever It would be embarrassing. Help!
  20. wantTOkillMYSELF
    soryr, i probably should have made my own name but the only reason I even came to this site was because of my brother, he's sort of knows about my problem just a little, i asked him if he ever felt like doing some of these things, he is 13 and i am 15. so there, im 15.
  21. wantTOkillMYSELF
    gosh that is SO true....
  22. wantTOkillMYSELF
    yep, what they said, and trust me a small school is NOT a disadvantage, its easier to make friends in a small school.
  23. wantTOkillMYSELF
    lol, lots of guys have tried it, but no one is going to admit it, not even on an anonymous survey, and for the reason you said "its not as accepted as women experimenting"
  24. wantTOkillMYSELF
    I have this friend and things are starting to get hard for me. He let me reach my hand up his shirt and feel his chest and stomach and stuff and he said he liked it. Now I wanna see him and compare our *beeps* but he wont. It is making me hate myself becuz i really want to and now im acting weird becuz he wont do it. I have a lot of problems with being straight or gay issue anyways, and thought this would help me, now i feel like i'll never know if i am or not and i dont want to lose my best friend over htis. He almost compared with me b4 but now he says he never will not in 101287871 years. I want to die..... help.... oh, and i put this in this section because i figure it had to do more with "gay" then anything else, i dont want to kill myself... i just feel like its the end of the world and want out of all this misery.
  25. wantTOkillMYSELF
    its just.. im a christian and if im gay.. why should i even live? it means im going to hell.. and i hate wanting to keep seeing him like this cuz, sometimes it bothers him... and i want to compare myself to him, and i do like to touch him.... it makes me feel good. He lets me do it, but he is sorta self conscious about himself sometimes (thats why it bothers him)
×
×
  • Create New...