MissCanuck

Does he not plan on seeking any help for this? Because if not, this will not get better. He needs to take active, measurable steps to break this addiction (which will likely require professional treatment) and if he won't, well, I personally would not stay. That would suggest to me that he is comfortable with the status quo, and possibly lying about the real reasons he avoids sex.

This is a great idea. This guy is just not that into you. 7 more days of "space" isn't going to make him have feelings for you that he just doesn't have. Don't waste any more time on this. There are men out there who would be eager to date you and not need "time" after 7 months to "soul-search". Men who would gladly and proudly make you their girlfriend. This guy isn't one of them. The writing is on the wall here, ShopLady. Cut the dead weight loose. It's going to end sooner or later anyway.

Given this, what is it you are looking for here? You know this is unhealthy. You know these arguments are not really about a heater or dinner. Yet you stay. So, what advice are you seeking here?

I wouldn’t even want to go anymore. There’s no point when you know he doesn’t feel the same way about you, OP.

That's my read on it, too. She doesn't sound confident at all. She just tries deseprately to put on an act so people won't see how insecure she actually is. You don't have to do that. You should stop doing it, actually. She cannot accept a compliment gracefully without turning it into a major rump-kissing session. Stop enabling it. The next time she tells you to stop coddling her, say "okay" and change the subject.

I personally would not welcome a man like him into my bed ever again. Even for FWB, you're allowed to (and should) have standards.

Congrats, j!!

That's part of the issue though. You (inadvertently) depended on him too much to make your life better, so it's falling apart again now that he has ended the relationship. So the depression didn't fade away - it was simply that your relationship was distracting you from really addressing it. I would take this time to heal, and work on getting your life together all on your own, without anyone to prop you up. It will feel overwhelming, but take it a day at a time. Work on your fears and anxiety, and get into treatment if you haven't really done so. It feels terribly painful now, but bit by bit, you can get yourself to a better place. And that is when you'll have a truly remarkable and healthy relationship.

I am sorry you have had a hard life, OP. Are you in any sort of treatment now for depression and anxiety? What does your social life look like outside the relationship? I do hope you have some sort of support network, and that he was not the only person in your life. This might have been a sign that he was losing interest. It's true that the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever, but it usually transitions into a deeper sort of love - it doesn't mean that the couple starts growing apart and that one person starts to distance themselves.

What did you do? I gather this is a court-approved agreement? This is all such a trainwreck. How much time have you actually spent together in person, and how is it that you live on different continents but have a child together - what is the timeline and backstory of how you met and when the child was born, and how you wound up so far away from each other?

I think a big part of the problem is that you say you have no social life and she is your only companion. I would imagine this also means that you don't really date or have much romantic experience. You are going to need to set some boundaries and work on developing your own life, including meeting other people - for both friendships, and as potential dates. Once you are around young women your own age and exploring viable romantic interests, your aunt is not going to seem quite so tempting to you. Do you have any plans to eventually move out?

What has he been doing? Perhaps this has been coming for a while. Has he been making less time for you? It sounds as though you mihgt have relied on him too much for your happiness. You say your life was miserable before him - why is that? A partner should not be the only good thing we have going for us. As for where it stands now, you cannot do much but accept that for whatever reason, he does not want to continue the relationship. But it would be helpful if you could elaborate on what had been going wrong prior to the break-up.

Huge red flags all around here, and this is the just cold open: 1) Still living with ex when you started dating. 2) You've already moved in after just 7 months - girl, why? Why do you tolerate this? Another red flag. And yet you live together? More red flags. Just get out and leave him behind you. This is a dumpster fire on just about every level. And then maybe spend some time on your own, to help you better understand why you ever got involved with someone like this (and at warp speed) to begin with. Surely being single is better than this mess?

This is for her father to deal with.

Well, you can't. Not without any effort from your wife.

Did you not actually know her before you got married, OP?

Don't wait at all, OP. She doesn't feel the way you do, and flying around the world to see her is almost surely going to result in a lot of disappointment and heartache for you.

You are making a huge mistake by prioritizing sex over any shred of self-respect. This is not going to last, no matter how you slice it, so you might as well regain some of your dignity and walk away now. It's only a matter of time before she ditches you for her next punching bag anyway.

Perhaps you should. The way he talks to you is gross.

No, you did not. She did. Her behaviour is atrocious for a grown woman. Most men with self-respect would tell her to go fly a kite.

She's a rude and entitled brat. You're signing up for ridiculous drama if you are foolish enough to continue dating her.

I wouldn't think twice about dropping this angry and volatile stranger.

We can't tell you that. Only you can. Personally? I would feel that there is way too much damage done here to ever recover.

I would have discounted this as an old crush flaring up, but you actually called him. Even if he didn't realize it was you, you stepped over the line. I would ask yourself what's up with your current relationship that you're escaping into this fantasy again and again, and have actually thought about breaking it off with your boyfriend just to have this guy again. I know you came back to your senses, but it's telling that this has occurred to you more than once. My guess is that this is less about this specifc guy, and more about boredom with your current boyfriend - or something else lacking altogether.

It's a terrible idea to try polyamory if you are not naturally inclined that way to begin with. And it's very clear that you are not. This is going to end in disaster.