MissCanuck

Out of curiosity, what prompted this conversation with her? Had she been pulling away, or..?

Understand what, specifically? Unless you have also lost a parent yourself, you probably can't really relate. As much as you want to help her, you have to respect her decision to step back from the relationship. You don't have to wait idly by, as you're free to walk away any time, but you can't make her let you in when she doesn't want that. It hurts, but it's not under your control.

What do you want to ask her that you don't already know?

It's normal to want to help, but by requesting space, she is implying she does not want your help. You can't do anything but respect the fact that she isn't in a position to have a relationship at this time. How long have you been dating, by the way?

Nobody but her can answer that, and she probably doesn't even know right now either. But if she's not actually doing anything to help herself and stabilize her life, you might be waiting a very long time. Trying to be friends right now is not a great idea, either. I realize she needs her space but it's also important you protect your own heart here as well.

This is up to her, Biki. She can't give you a relationship right now and whether or not she seeks help is entirely her call.

Then there's your answer, really: for all intents and purposes, it is a break-up. She can tell you it's not, but there is no difference between wanting space with no commitment, and breaking up. I think she is trying to let you down gently, unfortunately.

What is the difference between this and a break-up?

You have the right to feel however you feel. There is no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to feelings. However, telling her about those feeling is rather pointless. It will keep you stuck on someone with whom there is no future.

I'm sorry, James. It's time to block this woman.

Ok. Back the truck up. Best to avoid guys like this. They are trouble, and will make you think they fulfulling some "need" when really it's just that they like attention from other girls and are keeping their options open. Accidentally opening his FB is the least of your worries here if he's engaging in crap like this.

You are right. However, you can still deal with those feelings and at the same time realize that this relationship is over for good, and has been for a while. Because even if she hadn't moved on? It would likely never work again, because of your emotional cheating. The trust there would be destroyed and she would not look at you the same way. So this new boyfriend is almost beside the point. The relationship was broken beyond repair even before she got with him. That is why you need to stop ruminating over it, and wondering if she's really happy with him. It isn't entirely relevant when this relationship had other serious problems.

I was going to say the same thing. OP, she isn't totally alone. She is with them, and they are in a much better position to help her take care of herself - including after a break-up. If she does make any threats to hurt herself, do you have any way of altering her parents or a local friend? Do you have the contact information of anyone in her life there? You could also try to get in touch with emergency services in her area to perform a wellness check if she threatens suicide.

Because he wanted sex, OP. It's what cheating MM do. No, he shouldn't have pursued you. But you should have stayed away from him anyway. He was not yours to date, and not available to be your boyfriend. He was already married when you met. It was wrong of you to accept his advances and not tell him to kick rocks. Where is your accountability in this? You have to be smarter and more realistic in your expectations when you make poor life decisions.

While that makes sense, how do you think she felt when she found out that you were emotionally cheating on her? What was the backstory there?

You need to be done with her. She has cancelled way too many times. What's going on is that she is flattered by your attention but is not that into you as a person. She likes knowing you like her but it's not exactly mutual. Don't waste any more time on her.

No. You need to leave him alone. His silence over the last several months means he doesn't want to hear from you anymore. Despite telling you he doesn't love her, he's still married to her. You need to start respecting that. Your mistake was believing there was a future here. There wasn't. You need to let go.

Yes. She sounds content and is moving forward with him, and about to make a serious commitment. This is a woman who has found happiness and how good it feels when her interest is reciprocated. If you were checked out, I guarantee this new relationship feels like a breath of fresh air, I'm sorry to say. EDIT: I just had a look at your previous thread about her. You've been wondering about her new boyfriend since April. It's September now. Nothing has changed. She has moved on, and you need to, too.

Do you tend to make big deals out of nothing? You are blowing this completely out of proportion, but I'd say it's a reflection of how insecure you feel with this guy. Your other thread about him demonstrates that too. Relax before you give yourself a stroke for no reason.

All MM say this. It doesn't mean it's true. It's usually not. Well, he is married. He doesn't owe you anything. It comes with the territory and is something a lot of OW seem to have a very hard time coming to terms with. His priority is not you or your feelings, as you're now seeing. And if he is so selfish as to have an affair, he is perfectly capable of discarding you when it doesn't suit him anymore. Again, he is married. Your expectations are unrealistic, unfortunately. He doesn't owe you check-ins or any sort of contact. Maybe his wife caught on and told him to cut all ties with you. Serious question, where did you really think this was going? Had he told you he was going to leave her, or? I get you are hurt, but you need to ask yourself why you wasted any time at all with a man who is already married. That was an enormous gamble you took, and one that you lost. You are responsible for your own poor choices here, OP.

To clarify, is he specifically showing you photos of these attractive women? Or they're in his camera roll when he's showing you other things?

This is weird. Is he showing you these photos on each of your dates?

You don't love her, OP. I think you miss her company and would like a partner, but you know she is not the one for you. The same issues would arise if you made the mistake of trying to get back together. Don't do that to yourself, or to her. You are really not right for each other.

Essentially because I don't believe this: Of course she didn't speak about him if they were getting closer, OP. I don't mean to be harsh but it would be rather naive to think they went from platonic friends to a relationship within 4 weeks. You were emotionally cheating, after all. You have to understand that if you were capable of it and she didn't know until after the fact, well, the same could very well be true for her. And really, if you were doing so and had checked out of the relationship, I don't think you genuinely wanted to be with her anymore, either. You don't like that she has moved on and doesn't want to be with you any longer, but I don't believe that in your heart of hearts that you really wanted this relationship anymore yourself.

I don't think so, no. I am quite sure your instincts about this are right on the money. I'm sorry.