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LoreliFinn last won the day on October 8 2020

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  1. I will second what other posters have written. The man you're married to is the insecure, they are too scared to confront the fact their needs aren't being met. Maybe attention, sex, support. So they go off and look for women who are open to them and accepting. When they should be talking to their wives! What he is doing is very disloyal. You are supposed not be his primary relationship. I had married men trying to start up friendships and always wondered why when they have a wife at home. It could be many reasons obviously. Boredom, distraction from conflicts they don't want
  2. He's not being as flirty because he got what he wanted - sex. Try not to overthink this one. It's fairly simple. You two are not dating. He's in it for some side fun. There won't be any respect on his part. Please extract yourself from this mess asap!
  3. Sounds to me like you make no demands on him in this marriage. No boundaries are set. He can do whatever including seeing other women. He also has low self esteem to begin with (when he says you're too good for him). I would stand up, be a wife, not a doormat and give him responsibilities in this marriage. You're doing it all. I'm sorry but when you do too much for people, they will take you for granted. Right now, he holds a very non-chalant attitude towards you and the marriage.
  4. He chickened out any further involvement with you. Probably felt guilty due to the girlfriend. I would move on from this one. He appears to be involved with someone else.
  5. It sounds like you are looking for some sort of strategy to get women to fall for you. Just be yourself, no games. When you're busy, do your stuff and then get in touch when you want to see women. It's not complicated. Unfortunately some dating coaches advocate strategizing, aka, playing games. In the end, people pick up the vibe of these techniques and back off.
  6. This man should be reported to his employer for breaching the code of ethics of his position as a counselor.
  7. He may like running into you but the interest appears minimal. Also he does not look like a man who has terrific communication skills. Shyness appears endearing. In my experience it can also be a problem later on. You never really know what they are thinking ... then one day they ghost you. I'm not saying you shouldn't be interested in shy men or get to know them. This one does not appear to show body language that he's totally emotionally available. Him going through a lot in his life may explain it & he's all wrapped up with that. You may end up being thus guy's therapist
  8. The minute I sense a guy "playing games", he is history. It shows some one is terribly insecure. Intermittent reinforcement, hot and cold, gas lighting, insinuation are all easily spotted in my books. No one is interested I dating an adolescent.
  9. The friendship used to be more reciprocal in that she provided support when I was going through a divorce. That was many years ago. I have always done her favors, she never did any for me. I noticed more recently she was blowing me off when in contact between get togethers. E.g, saying she's watching TV a lot when I want to talk. Interrupting me, not answering or changing subject entirely. It all went downhill as far as respect from her. It's obvious the relationship ran it's course. I need to stop posting about this stuff. Look for friends who share more common interests, etc.
  10. Rose Mosse. You are so right. I must be attracting the bad apples. Perhaps my willingness to be a good listener and help sits on the top of my head with a neon sign, saying "open to being taken advantage of". I used to be labelled many years ago as "cold and aloof". Over the years, with therapy, I tried to overcome the label. However, the transformation obviously backfired. I think now I'm a people pleaser, although I do say no at times when requests are inconvenient. I feel like retreating from the world of friends for awhile. Steps to raising self esteem appears to be the f
  11. Thanks so much for all your feedback. It provides some clarity and direction. I suspect my self esteem is low. I tend to look for the good in people rather than negative which is not healthy. I always thought part of being a good friend is listening, supporting and helping when necessary. I still believe this to be true. At what point though do I say no? If I'm available, I will help. If not, I have made it known I'm already tied up. Should I put limits on how often I say yes? Do people generally view you as a doormat if you say yes too often? I need a way to vett p
  12. I am finding from experience that being there for friends and even guys I'm dating causes them to take everything for granted. The more favors and time listening to their issues, the more I get disrespected or dumped by men. What is it about human nature that causes this? Is it an ingrained tendency! A friend I knew for many years started treating me poorly for no reason. Ignoring messages, criticizing my clothes, interrupting or plain old not responding to what you say about your day that happened. No fights, disagreements either. I was always there to help. I almost fee
  13. The reason her number is still in his phone is because she is still on his mind. Otherwise it would be gone period. History. I wouldn't trust him either and be concerned. I would tell him you saw her number there and ask him to delete it. Women have to take charge of cheaters and make them feel guilty. Get on to him, be on his case about it and say you are keeping an eye on him.
  14. Batya33. You have a very compassionate heart 💓. That is wonderful. Remembering how a person was there for you in the past brings out that compassion. In my case, she used to be there for me years ago but it stopped. I'm not a doctor and cannot diagnosis. Either I didn't know her that well or something happened emotionally for her. Last year predominantly things changed. We were shopping together and I noticed she snuck out the back door and didn't pay for an item. She disappeared and later I found her outside at the back of the building, instead of our front where you would be waiting
  15. Thank you Rose! For the encouragement. Much appreciated. It's easier to give up but as you say take a break and return with a more positive outcome. Right now my lousy attitude won't attract anyone🤥
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