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Popi33

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  1. No ofc not, I meant to step up by calling because I had unlimited sms and calls and was calling him so far on the phone but it was on credit. I'll have to pay it these days to top it up. In the meantime, was thinking to contact him on viber (I run out of unlimited credit)
  2. Yeah, I didn't miss it. I was the one calling him but he missed it and called me back. I am currently out of credit on my phone so I can't call him anyhow (I could text him on viber but I'm not this type of girlfriend tbh leaving messages randomly he didn't say he doesn't enjoy me calling him. So now that I'm out of credit he can step up and call if he wants, will be too much on my part to text. I guess he'll call me when he doesn't hear from me for a day or so. We made plans for tomorrow to have dinner so let's see.
  3. He does call me and text not every day though. I started gradually increasing communication since he did enjoy me calling him. Only last night he didn't actually call when he got home but I told him I'll be outside to.catch up later. And yes I'm anxious as a person and I have been before this guy now it only intensified.
  4. Okay so I've settled for calling once per day, if he misses my call he calls me back. But today I couldn't hear him while driving and I asked him to catch up later or call me when he gets home. We didn't catch up in the end. He told me early on that I could call him anytime. Would he still be happy and receptive to receive my call or does he feel pressured? He's sounding cheerful when we talk on the phone. We were having short calls and almost no texting in between as I prefer calling.
  5. Yes because obvious is abstractly defined and acquires a meaning once stated, you'd be only stating the obvious if all signs indicate that towards that direction- If there's even a nuance of doubt for either of you (which you don't know for sure because you haven't discussed it) then its not obvious and is subject to interpretation. I find that being honest with your feelings without demanding time and space doesn't make you look weak but strong. It shows strength and courage to admit that you like someone and want to be with them, there's always the chance that they'd say no even if you're having the best time. I think that you're both playing it safe and prefer to be in your comfort zone as none of you wants to ask hard questions, just to assume things and leave them open to interpretation in case someone of you ***s it up. Your call of course.
  6. Well yes correct, I needed it so I asked and explained that for example open wouldn't work for me and I wanted to make it clear going forward. He could have agreed and felt the same or not and explain that he doesn't want a relationship. I just find that things are working themselves out once you put your cards on the table, it's a good way to assess if you're on the same page and opens a discussion. But you do it once, I don't intend to discuss it again at the moment as now it is pointless. Every situation is different and your friends might be right or wrong cause not everything grows organically or naturally taking a pace without some clear indications, like "hell yeah, want to be together let's do it". Tbh I asked and told myself would only move forward if response is as enthusiastic as this and it was. Anything less, I'd be like okay we aren't on the same page. I'm curious though, what makes you uncomfortable opening up your feelings to your partner? If you can sleep together you can also open up about your emotions or expectations out of this. The matter is how you approach the topic meaning no possessive, dramatic or demanding language. I've watched a couple of Matthew Hussey videos and he explains very well this vulnerability that can work to your advantage.
  7. Well still kind intentions, I meant for you to approach the one you might be interested with kindness but still assert what you want. It's your choice however indeed. The use of this word was as emphatic as it could be to help you understand that you're talking nonsense about "cultural" trait and stuff. This depends on a person and its highly individualistic if someone wants clarity. I just find it paradoxical that you request clarity about minor things with her and not on the bigger ones. I mean exclusivity helps partners bond unless both want it open- which is not the case for you. I thought the same about the guy I was seeing that it was "assumed" we don't date others and after I directly asked him to be together and that I realized I didn't want to date other people but give him all my attention (healthy way ofc not obsessing over relationship) he got excited and happy and told me "happy to hear you don't date others cause I want to be together" you know, he was thinking the same but until it's verbally agreed no party is certain. I mean you can try it so you rest your brain from all this thinking. Life is too short to assume things.
  8. Bull*** my dear. I am from Europe as well and like you I was afraid and scared to pour my heart out and ask a guy to be together. But I did it and it liberated me because I was getting all over my head and wanting to text non sense to him (or previous guys instead of asking directly and politely). You won't be demanding but a simple do you want to be together or how you view us going forward is simple. People here really helped me get through this and no matter the outcome once you do it you feel empowered and relieved. And cmon if you are freaking out in the idea she's dating others her ex or whoever and acting aloof won't make you feel better. Only worse and it doesn't improve unless you come clean and speak your truth. I'm sorry but no matter what you think, if she doesn't want to be with you, then talking to her or not won't change that- but it will take you out of your misery looking for answers and face the truth. If she wants to then all good, if she doesn't then again all good, life goes on. But for the love of god, do something cause you're only hurting yourself. Been there done that, only brought me more anxiety and trouble. All the times I was scared to speak my truth and I did, things worked for me almost every time. You wanna stay in this limbo go ahead. I am not going back to the old me being afraid to take action. You can be kind, direct and honest. It never goes wrong.
  9. Yes it's highly possible. But when I asked him he said an emphatic yes. I was expecting something you are sweet I like you but I don't see us together. He almost got me off guard when he said yes, I want to. I'm not sure though how does one proceed after agreeing to be together, does it make us a couple? I'm honestly asking not out of insecurity but it's the first time I had this talk with a guy.
  10. Thank you for opening up a new perspective for me. I feel much relieved after I communicated my thoughts and none of this crap like I'm scared or anything similar. I tend to keep doing that, be truthful to myself as it is indeed the most reasonable thing to do even though I didn't feel comfortable initiating such a conversation.
  11. Yeah I don't want to fall into this trap of texting intimacy. I like building that in person. Anyhow, he said he'll call me so I'll leave it on him. He proposed to get together tomorrow night so let's see.
  12. I asked him about communication and he said he prefers to see me than texting but he'll try to be more attentive. Honestly, I've had just one relationship before so I'm not texting him or calling much cause I'm not used to this pace He said he'll call me so I'll just wait and see if we can find a nice flow. I'm clueless on that so I don't have any prior experience. With my ex we were friends before dating and we were texting all the time or calling each other daily and it felt overwhelming.
  13. We discussed it last night. I told him sincerely what I want and he told me he also doesn't want to date others and wants us to be a couple and we agreed to be together and see how it goes.
  14. And what do you suggest I do? He called me this morning to comfirm our date for the night. So I'll see him tonight.
  15. But we are also going on dates, we were supposed to go at a party downtown but weather was really bad so when he called me I suggested he comes at my place. I had also booty call and yes, guys were texting after 10pm but wouldn't spend much time just for a quickie and go. We stayed up all night, cooked watched movies had sex and talked until morning light. It's not relationship or even close but I'm guessing its more fwb than just sexual. My interpretation ofc
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