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Everything posted by Popi33

  1. Yeah we discussed his need to show off and gain validation from girls. I find it funny at best. Maybe I'm provoking him a bit myself towards that direction cause he isn't doing this out of open-mindedness or for our own experiment. Is more like trying to prove to me he can. Maybe it's because i told him that I am bisexual and have done it with women before but that is because we discuss about stuff like that.
  2. because no matter if i am insecure i would never compromise my integrity and do something so morally wrong like snooping into someone's account. Just don't want to create unnecessary suspicion explaining how it happened and especially since he hasnt noticed neither asked me about it. I am sensitive to this matter cause my sister's boyfriend snoops through her phone and has no shame about it but he's controlling and distrustful and i know in my heart that i am not. I am terribly goofy and anxious this is true. When i get panicked i don't think straight. As some people mentioned i have a tendency for blowing things out of proportion and tried to gain some perspective with this post. Some people say not worth mentioning unless it comes up some others to just mention it.
  3. Why would i need to snoop? He does this stuff and opens his fb in front of me i don't need to check. It was totally accidental.
  4. No i havent snooped honestly this wasn't my intention. And he's not a trash actually we just drunk a bit more and were bull***ting that night. The next day we talked normally and we never discussed it again.
  5. I am generally like that in my work and life, taking things out of proportion and overly analyzing everything. Even the look doctor had on their face when making an ultra sound on me. I am actually very secure but get a little jealous when we go out and he starts talking to girls while I'm present. Last time we went to a club i made a joke to find couple for threesome and we were drunk so he asked a rand couple but then kept talking with the girl. I told him on the way home i don't actually want us to have one and he said you got a bit jealous didn't you? I admitted that i did but we left it there and didn't bring it up again. So now this, don't want him to get the wrong idea that i checked on purpose and now trying to find an excuse. It's not the case, i would never do such a thing even if i did get insecure or jealous. If he hasn't noticed then i don't want to create suspicion for myself.
  6. He didn't leave it on purpose. We ordered food via app and he accessed with his fb but it got automatically saved in my device. I asked him to log out of the app but we both forgot. I was actually absent minded when i click on it. I am not afraid to tell him but I'm afraid he won't believe me and maybe start to distrust me. I am visiting my doctor and he asked me to call him after my appointment so I'm going to mention it then.
  7. No I'm not actually. Whatever i would say it will raise suspicion. I asked him to log his account out when done but he forgot to do it and i forgot he logged in. Clicking on that notification was a huge mistake but nothing tragic that would make him ask me directly like realising i went through his messages and stuff. Why plant the seed of doubt before he has yet to notice or ask me? What i described it's the truth. I thought it's my account when i saw his picture i thought that i added him and went to check sent requests. That's when it opened all recent ones and realized it's his actual profile and exited. The only question is why clicking on that stupid button and not exiting immediately. Do you think he'll ask about it or consider me sneaky?
  8. So you advise me to not mention anything and only if asked right? Yes I'm laughing about it now cause it reminded me a scene from Friends where Monica says to Rachel "it never occur to you that i might be that stupid" for leaving receipt in her pocket. Did i screw up?
  9. Yes but we are together since then. I am not fearful just don't want him to think that i violated his privacy or trust and it doesn't sound truthful how accidentally i clicked on it and not exiting immediately. I am just wondering if I'm overthinking this and maybe it's nothing worth mentioning? I want to tell him but if he doesn't believe me then he'll assume i tried to stalk him and if he doesn't even notice is like creating drama for myself. It was an innocent mistake which I'm contemplating if i should mention it or not.
  10. He'll then actually get suspicious and go check if i saw anything than not saying anything at all. Hopefully he'll get more requests and check them all at once. I know he's constantly on fb and there's a chance he'll notice. Thank god i Didnt actually opened anything. I'd never stalk and I'm freaking out that this might be interpreted like that. I panicked and tried to log out as if i was doing something wrong once i realized but when i clicked i did it because i thought I'm in my own profile.
  11. Thinking the same. But the request is there so he can at any moment notice he received one but notification icon didn't pop up. If he noticed though and remembered that he connected his phone in my device he might think that it was me and then he'll get more suspicious why i Didnt mention it. I feel like if i tell him what happened hell
  12. boyfriend last night accidentally connected his fb on my phone and totally forgot about that. I opened browser to connect to mine but clicked on sent requests and it popped up an invitation recently sent to him. I honestly clicked automatically thinking is my account. Once i realized, i logged out and removed profile from Facebook. Didn't open anything. Will he realise and should i tell him tomorrow what happened? He hasn't told me anything but this just happened right now. I am thinking to drop him a message that he accidentally connected it but i prefer to explain in person. I'd never stalk and don't want to do that never. Im freaking out. And if i tell him, will he believe i had no intention of checking his friend request? It was so stupid how it happened. Now notification is disabled since i clicked on it but haven't touched anything. If he clicks to view his friends requests he will find it and might suspect that someone got into his fb. I don't want to create unnecessary drama and relationship is new.
  13. Age gap is quite huge. I'd say give him a call no point to text him nonsense cause it looks like you're reaching out for validation he's still interested. I used to do that a lot texting guys I've been on dates with without any purpose. It ended up with me getting ghosted or rejected or being told I'm writing too much. Just go with the flow. Text with a plan in mind and usually ask a question or make a suggestion which will require a response. Don't text him much in between dates so you've got more to share with each other in person. I actually tested it and I am now with a guy with whom communication is kept at minimum either to plan a date or a phone call at the end of the day. And it seems we are bonding more each time. Hope it works for you. If it doesn't don't get frustrated. Take the experience and try to use it for the next guy.
  14. No ofc not, I meant to step up by calling because I had unlimited sms and calls and was calling him so far on the phone but it was on credit. I'll have to pay it these days to top it up. In the meantime, was thinking to contact him on viber (I run out of unlimited credit)
  15. Yeah, I didn't miss it. I was the one calling him but he missed it and called me back. I am currently out of credit on my phone so I can't call him anyhow (I could text him on viber but I'm not this type of girlfriend tbh leaving messages randomly he didn't say he doesn't enjoy me calling him. So now that I'm out of credit he can step up and call if he wants, will be too much on my part to text. I guess he'll call me when he doesn't hear from me for a day or so. We made plans for tomorrow to have dinner so let's see.
  16. He does call me and text not every day though. I started gradually increasing communication since he did enjoy me calling him. Only last night he didn't actually call when he got home but I told him I'll be outside to.catch up later. And yes I'm anxious as a person and I have been before this guy now it only intensified.
  17. Okay so I've settled for calling once per day, if he misses my call he calls me back. But today I couldn't hear him while driving and I asked him to catch up later or call me when he gets home. We didn't catch up in the end. He told me early on that I could call him anytime. Would he still be happy and receptive to receive my call or does he feel pressured? He's sounding cheerful when we talk on the phone. We were having short calls and almost no texting in between as I prefer calling.
  18. Yes because obvious is abstractly defined and acquires a meaning once stated, you'd be only stating the obvious if all signs indicate that towards that direction- If there's even a nuance of doubt for either of you (which you don't know for sure because you haven't discussed it) then its not obvious and is subject to interpretation. I find that being honest with your feelings without demanding time and space doesn't make you look weak but strong. It shows strength and courage to admit that you like someone and want to be with them, there's always the chance that they'd say no even if you're having the best time. I think that you're both playing it safe and prefer to be in your comfort zone as none of you wants to ask hard questions, just to assume things and leave them open to interpretation in case someone of you ***s it up. Your call of course.
  19. Well yes correct, I needed it so I asked and explained that for example open wouldn't work for me and I wanted to make it clear going forward. He could have agreed and felt the same or not and explain that he doesn't want a relationship. I just find that things are working themselves out once you put your cards on the table, it's a good way to assess if you're on the same page and opens a discussion. But you do it once, I don't intend to discuss it again at the moment as now it is pointless. Every situation is different and your friends might be right or wrong cause not everything grows organically or naturally taking a pace without some clear indications, like "hell yeah, want to be together let's do it". Tbh I asked and told myself would only move forward if response is as enthusiastic as this and it was. Anything less, I'd be like okay we aren't on the same page. I'm curious though, what makes you uncomfortable opening up your feelings to your partner? If you can sleep together you can also open up about your emotions or expectations out of this. The matter is how you approach the topic meaning no possessive, dramatic or demanding language. I've watched a couple of Matthew Hussey videos and he explains very well this vulnerability that can work to your advantage.
  20. Well still kind intentions, I meant for you to approach the one you might be interested with kindness but still assert what you want. It's your choice however indeed. The use of this word was as emphatic as it could be to help you understand that you're talking nonsense about "cultural" trait and stuff. This depends on a person and its highly individualistic if someone wants clarity. I just find it paradoxical that you request clarity about minor things with her and not on the bigger ones. I mean exclusivity helps partners bond unless both want it open- which is not the case for you. I thought the same about the guy I was seeing that it was "assumed" we don't date others and after I directly asked him to be together and that I realized I didn't want to date other people but give him all my attention (healthy way ofc not obsessing over relationship) he got excited and happy and told me "happy to hear you don't date others cause I want to be together" you know, he was thinking the same but until it's verbally agreed no party is certain. I mean you can try it so you rest your brain from all this thinking. Life is too short to assume things.
  21. Bull*** my dear. I am from Europe as well and like you I was afraid and scared to pour my heart out and ask a guy to be together. But I did it and it liberated me because I was getting all over my head and wanting to text non sense to him (or previous guys instead of asking directly and politely). You won't be demanding but a simple do you want to be together or how you view us going forward is simple. People here really helped me get through this and no matter the outcome once you do it you feel empowered and relieved. And cmon if you are freaking out in the idea she's dating others her ex or whoever and acting aloof won't make you feel better. Only worse and it doesn't improve unless you come clean and speak your truth. I'm sorry but no matter what you think, if she doesn't want to be with you, then talking to her or not won't change that- but it will take you out of your misery looking for answers and face the truth. If she wants to then all good, if she doesn't then again all good, life goes on. But for the love of god, do something cause you're only hurting yourself. Been there done that, only brought me more anxiety and trouble. All the times I was scared to speak my truth and I did, things worked for me almost every time. You wanna stay in this limbo go ahead. I am not going back to the old me being afraid to take action. You can be kind, direct and honest. It never goes wrong.
  22. Yes it's highly possible. But when I asked him he said an emphatic yes. I was expecting something you are sweet I like you but I don't see us together. He almost got me off guard when he said yes, I want to. I'm not sure though how does one proceed after agreeing to be together, does it make us a couple? I'm honestly asking not out of insecurity but it's the first time I had this talk with a guy.
  23. Thank you for opening up a new perspective for me. I feel much relieved after I communicated my thoughts and none of this crap like I'm scared or anything similar. I tend to keep doing that, be truthful to myself as it is indeed the most reasonable thing to do even though I didn't feel comfortable initiating such a conversation.
  24. Yeah I don't want to fall into this trap of texting intimacy. I like building that in person. Anyhow, he said he'll call me so I'll leave it on him. He proposed to get together tomorrow night so let's see.
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