MissCanuck

This is why it's best to avoid men like him to begin with. He was sketchy from the jump.

This. Don't let it continue, whatever you do. It's not fair to him, and not authentic to yourself when you don't feel the same way about him.

This relationship is toast. He sounds like he's been losing interest for quite a while, and you are clearly (understandably) not happy with the state of things anymore. I also agree with @melancholy123 that your very young age means that this man would likely not wind up being the great love of your life. They usually aren't, when we meet someone as a teen. This relationship was training wheels for the more mature and significant ones to come. Do the healthy thing and part ways. And please, work on your angry tendency to threaten a break up - the next guy might not take that kind of BS, and leave you high and dry the first time. There is no "working on" that - just don't do it.

My question is, do they know Mom's boyfriend is watching them through these cameras? Stop his access today. Not only is it a violation of your privacy to have him watching whenever he wants, it's a gross violation of your children's privacy regardless of what they might be doing (or not) on-camera. My Creep Meter of the charts with this guy.

My question, too.

Wait, why did you not respond for 5 days? You're anxious about his potential lack of interest, but you don't exactly appear to have given him overly keen signals of interest either.

Exactly. OP, it doesn't make sense to say you won't introduce your kids to him yet (which is fair and sensible) but allow him to essentially spy on all of you inside your home. Don't you see what a contradiction that it? Or how inappropriate it is?

For only 4 months of dating, it sounds a bit turbulent, honestly. I would let his silence speak for itself, and put him behind you.

How were things going before this argument?

Your parents are not being realistic, and I think they know that. They're telling you that your love with grow so they can essentially offload you onto a man who will pay your way. They're trying to convince you to go to him so they don't have to be financially responsible for you. I doubt they even believe themselves that your "love will grow" for him - they are just grasping at straws and hoping you'll believe it because they don't want to worry about how you are going to get by in life when you don't work. But OP, it's not a feasible plan. You don't love your husband that way, clearly, and you will be sentencing yourself to a life of unhappiness. It is almost certain that you will not stay married to him when you've already left once before. You didn't marry him for the right reasons, it seems, but more or less to relieve your parents' anxiety over who was going to take care of you. Are you unable to find work even online? A lot of jobs can now be done from home, given how the pandemic has changed the world. It might be an option for you if you cannot get out of the home much.

If an argument about tattoos was all it took to end this relationship, then I have a feeling he was looking for a way out anyway - and he took the BS comment as his opportunity. Solid couples don't generally disintegrate over issues like this. There's usually something else underlying the resentment and hostility, and it appears he wanted to be done. As such, I don't think you pursuing this is even an option for you anymore. He's already decided that it's over.

I think this guy has another woman anyway, OP.

Yep, I would imagine it's both. There's a reason he seeks out sex from randoms online, and there's a reason he keeps himself hidden until he lands a hit. I don't think this man is single, nor do I think you are the only IG lady he has sex with. As such, I would keep him blocked. There's no point in getting mixed up with someone who seems as shady as he does.

But OP - it's a huge, deal-breaking issue. And I don't mean because of your size. I mean because of her rudeness and insensitivity, and expectation for "more." I would bet that if you are foolish enough to stay with her, she will eventually go find herself "more" and it won't be with you. She's warning you. Get rid of her. You won't have a happy ending with her.

I agree. I don't think he considers you a couple anymore. What was it you said to him when you lost your temper, and what was the argument about?

I think your insecurity is not about the nights out drinking in and of themselves, but the clear signals that she is moving away from this relationship. She doesn't want you to move to be with her anymore. She is going out more and more and seems to be enjoying the attention she's getting. This is therefore not just a problem with you being insecure, but rather the fact that she appears to be losing interest in your relationship, and this might be fizzling out. You two need to have a serious talk about your future as a couple. Don't come at her in an accusatory way. Simply sit her down and tell her that you noticed she is increasingly distant, and ask her what her feelings are towards you and your relationship at this point. This is also a big problem. You need your own social circle and support system. Most people do not want to be their partner's sole source of companionship or entertainment, and it's not particularly attractive when someone really has no life outside the relationship. You will need to work on this, regardless of your status with your girlfriend.

What were your previous relationships lke, @Cape_Cod_Mama? I am concerned that they were downright atrocious if you didn't think your current guy that that bad.

You said you haven't seen him since you moved, which was 9 weeks ago. So, you moved to be closer to him within, what, 5 or 6 months of dating? That is fast, girl. Too fast. How much time had you spent together in person when you moved?

He's the type of guy with an anonymous IG profile who DMs random women. I guarantee you he probably sent out a few that day and you happened to be the one who messaged back. Nothing wrong with having some fun if you're both up for it, but understand you can't take men like this seriously. And the wife or girlfriend he's hiding from online probably wouldn't like it either.

I wonder what her name is.

No, you are enabling his abuse. It is. It is that bad, and then some. This is not about being a "little" insecure. This guy is unglued and verbally emotionally abusing you. This. Please, get away from him, OP. Today. And stay single for a bit and work on yourself. The fact that this behaviour is not setting off massive alarm bells is very concerning. You don't see the danger right in front of you.

Are you sure that two are even together anymore, OP? He sounds quite done with the relationship.

It really doesn't sound like it. You outgrew the marriage a while ago and only see him as a friend. That is not the basis for long-lasting happiness. You will almost surely not remain married this time around either. I am sorry for the loss of your child. It sounds like your ex-boyfriend is not the right one for you either, though. You married very young, and it doesn't sound like you had much time to figure out what you want in life before you made big commitments. Perhaps it is better to be single for a while and find your own footing without a man around to distract you from your true desires and goals.

And where do you think you learned to behave this way?

These are not his old ways. This is just who he is. This is too much, OP. It's not reasonable to expect this. It doesn't come across as you being "full of worry" about him, but you being deeply insecure that he is going to find someone else while he is out and you trying to monitor him. The bottom line? You're trying to change him into someone he is not, and get him to be the boyfriend you want without considering that he's not the right person for you. How would you feel if he were constantly pestering you about changing your ways, and being a girlfriend who's more in line with what he wants? And then continued to complain to you about how much you were messing up? I bet that wouldn't feel very good or make you want to date him anymore, would it? It would make you feel like the relationship is becoming a drag. Look, you two shouldn't even having these problems at just 6 months. You and he have very different expectations and relationship styles, and there are significant problems already because you're not compatible as a couple. So yes, it would be better to break up here. You're trying to force a square peg into a round hole and it's not going to work. Take some time off dating for a bit, and get to feel good on your own. When you're in a better place, you will be able to have better relationships.