Shinobie

I have a picture but im not going to my ugly mug on here plus i have to last this night without a happy pill so lame....

The word ugly just makes me mad i dont get why its even here.WHY DO SOME US HAVE TO BE UGLY.Why must i want a girlfriend if IM TOO UGLY TO GET one ITS BULLCRAP theres no logic to it I DONT UNDERSTAND HELP ME UNDERSTAND.WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY MUST I BE!!!!!??????IT SUX I CANT STAND IT!It makes me so depressed why cant i live on a world with no women or just make it to where my mind doesnt care if i have one at all.IM so depressed right now my pills rnt working and ive been reading these posts on totally unfair situations.Girls have it so easy about 90 percent of them dont even ened to try they just get a bf like nothing its retarded.Women hate me with a passion i dont know why im such a nice guy but o well life sux....

Ya just tell him u want to be friends dont be like those other CRUEL MEAN GIRLS that i have gone through have told me im ugly.Its not r faults how we look WE WERE BORN WITH THE LOOKS WE HAVE.Just let me clarify this for good looking people....U DID NOTHING FOR YOUR LOOKS U WERE BORN WITH THEM U DID NOTHING AT ALL TO ACHIEVE THEM U JUST GOT LUCKY.Some of us r just unlucky and have to go on alone through life with no one too love.Dont give me that bullcrap that people have a special someone for themselves.I dont believe it i think im just gonna go on lonely for a long time in my life unless i get lucky its very sad and dispappointing.I give up...Im trying to erase girls out of my mind they just make me depressed and so many of them r mean to me...

Yep ill i feel so much better if i erase girls out of my life id be so much better off.I think im gonna forget about girls all together im better without them i dont need women since they dont want me.All i need i my computer,my friends,my family,and an a career such as being in the army fighting for my country.If i end up liking it ill spend my life in the army because there is nothing to do on this country except for fight for it or stay here and feel lonely.Im fine with what i have right now all girls r good for is making me depressed,sad,and very unconfident.I hate that stupid laughing smile girls give me like they r making fun of me screw them i dont need them they r evil towards me so i dont need them they make me feel bad.All they r good for is bad thoughts and things such as inadequacy come up in my mind when they r around me i feel so low so why should i be around them im just gonna ignore them.Im better then this i dont need women to constantly bash me or mess with my emotions and make me sad im gonna try hard to give up and stop thinking bout it.

MY aim sn is shinobil33t john and msn is email removed.

I used to be a lot more sporty awhile back mang but i was still the same way and always have been.

One question why do women call us guys shallow?They r down there in another part of the forum talking about how muscular they want their guys about.A lot of them sayign they would not a scrawny guy.WHats so bad if im tall and skinny me being 6 ft and 130 pounds?Its all in my families heritage from my british families side that makes me the way that i am tall and lanky.I just have a super fast metaolism its liek a beast it tears away food right when i down it.Even when i try to eat a lot to gain more weight it does nothing i wont even gain a pound its a gift and a vurse at the same time because i do not want to be fat being fat is a weakness too me if u can control it but then again im "scrawny" i guess.Its just the same as posting about women saying u want a super skinny super model figure out of a women.Or saying that their "breast size" has to be the right size its totally shallow,Its just the same.Where are any girls that actually like tall and lanky guys are their really some that go for tall and lanky guys?Its bullcrap if they just go for the big guys but then again girls like to act "exact the same" as one another and be a big streotype in this day and age.

Thats what i hate most girls only like the big old "imma super strong moron type guy" not meaning all.Whats wrong with me i mean ya im 6 ft and only 130 pounds but im just tall and lanky and thats my families heritage from my families british side.So what if im scrawny whats so bad about that theres a lot of nice guys in these bodies but u dont like us u always the big old super strong guys which i notice about women.How bout we start a "what do guys prefer" post where i talk in a shallow way saying things like i like a skinny super model type women.When there r barely any of those girls.I can say dumb things like i want a girl with "big breasts" like shallow jerks say.We cant make what we dont have i can try to eat and eat and work out.But thta probably wouldnt do anything cause i have such a high metabolism and it just takes all that food and tears it away right away.Isnt there any girls that like tall and lanky guys or are most shallow?Cause i dont see many women with a lanky guy or anything just another thing that makes me mad.

Well c ya later and have some fun

Well im getting a radeon x800 pro because i want half life 2 a lot more then nvidia.Valve stated that ati plays hl 2 like 40 percent better then nvidia but that is prolly not true cause they should be able to just improve their drivers better or something.But ya im going with the x800 because it will even play doom 3 great and half life 2.I think most people will just use high quality because isnt ultra quality mostly just gonna be good on 512 mb cards because of the massive amounts of memory.Ya and i heard that about the ps 3.0 but will it be awhile before they use that but o yah stalker is using it i think =/.Sorry maybe we can talk about this somewhere else because this is way off topic plz dont stop this thread admins

As for me i think im gonna start forgetting about girls and just live life the pathetic way.As i look down at this thing between my legs that most men look at as a gift i look at it as a burden.I will never use it ever except for too go to the bathroom i believe. Im more purer of males just like the other guys like me on these boards.When i walk by a gorgeous girl i do not think sexually about her because i respect women and men should be able to respress those hormones.Im just a good male that knows that isnt right but other men seem to think so. I do not get as much respect as i think i deserve for being as nice and as good of a male as i try to be.If people dislike me i usually always forget about them.Well like all girls dislike me so i think i should just forget about women.Cause they dont like me so i dont need women i guess.Ive done it for the last 6 years right so why dont i do it more? That one girl at work i didnt really talk to her at all much today because im starting to think this way.Why care about it?She will probably dislike me anyway like all women do. The things that r big for me that i have to too look forward to is im upgrading my pc too play all the next gen games in their graphical glory such as doom 3 and half life 2.Pathetic eh?But o well whatever lets me have fun... I would give everything i have right now that i love just to have a girlfriend i luv.But that is impossible to i guess ill just go to school and play computer games instead for the time being.I wish i wasnt really born and why was i born?Just so i can take up room on this planet and give nothing to it except maybe my life?....

I feel sad for my other friend....HE met this girl online that he has been talkign to a lot and he likes her a lot....But he is very insecure about it.He kept asking me questions if it was lame and how would other people feel when he met her.He has never had a girlfriend in his life and hes razzed bout that.My friend saw a picture of her and he said she was ugly and that hes gonna make fun of him after he meets her.Imma tell him not too do it all its so disrespectful and even below the confident joking voice of my friend i think he is depressed and insecure on the inside...

YA that is awful computer but im very glad u did not get to suceed in killing yourself cause that would be horrible.I know i feel what u feel computerguy how all these girls talk about whats gone and all the bad things guys do.When they have all us nice,caring,who would do anything for them guys because we would actually truly "love" them for who they are and what type of person they are.It tears my mind a part just like it tears yours.We can only sit back if they do not want guys like us and watch as they go through other guys who put them through cruel games of cheating and bullcrap.If that is what they want then i guess we should just let them have that and go on with outselves trying to figure out life and what we are here for which is a very hard question to answer.Or like ive always thought u can always sacrifice your life in a very dangerous job for other people such as the army by fighting those who threaten our nation.

I just do not get the logic of this world how can u guys?????I know there is a god there THERE HAS TO BE!!But how does he work how does he let the world play out?Why is it that this guy who is such a jerk gets the women??HE basically wins...Why am i nice?Why do the good suffer from depression and lonliness?The bad get women?So should i be bad or something?Is that what god is basically trying to tell me is that if be a jerk then i get all the girls?Or is it just because im ugly.Wow this world is so irrational and gets in my head so much it just does not make sense.

Heres another story from the "great guys" girls like to date.Well ok my friends brother was telling how great yesterday was and it turned out to be a girl he had sex with.She spent the night at his house and they had sex at night and woke up the next morning ate breakfast and had sex again.HE is having sex with this girl when theres another girl that he is about to go out with and is very intimate with.How nice is that having sex with a girl off to the side when hes about to have great relationship with another girl.Well girls pick these type of guys...And i dont know why....But o well ill let them go out with messed up jerks who only end up hurting them in the end that will teach em a lesson.

Ya when im depressed i seem to get happy and mad from the littlest of things just out of no where.THe littlest thing could make me sad and depressed which is something that shouldnt even bother me.

I think ur getting outlaw all wrong nittany and i think ur the one kind of putting u in the foolish position.From reading ur post it basically seems like u make no sense at all with ur flirting logic and being a hypocrit to it at the same time.Outlaw is a great guy who states his posts with total honesty and says exactly how it is.Cause i have heard him explain how some girls r and u r basically exactly like those girls he explained.

Ya i know how u feel silent i go to the point that i tried to commit suicide and i feel bad for that but i felt SO DEPRESSED and im still depressed even with the medication although it does help.I have friends although ive had many down the road of my life that have put me down and down that i just became so fricken insecure,low on self esteem,and unconfident.Im not too proud of this but depression brings u to sudden out breaks of crying sometimes u just feel so hopeless thats how bad it feels sometimes....I did it like 10 times when i wasnt on the pills its like uncontrolable because u feel so bad and hopeless its that bad.Maybe u should see someone too see if u maybe suffer from depression or something.I hope u start to feel better.As for me ive kind of been doing the same thing u do except for i have been sitting in my room for the last 3 hours playing songs with meaning looking at the ceiling thinking to myself like why am i here whats the point?Just to tell ya that im in the same boat as you.

Ya john i feel the same way mang and i know life can be really harsh.For the last 2 hours i have been straring at my ceiling thinking to myself and listening to music.I have been thinking Why am i here?WHy cant i be happy like everybody else?WHy must i suffer?WHy can i have a girlfriend that i can love and cherish?These r just some questions i ask myself and i am never able to answer them and it plagues my mind with depression.One purpose i have held on to for awhile is that maybe i was just suppose too fight for my country and die for everybody else....MAybe i was never suppose to have that stuff that u guys love such as girlfriends maybe i was just suppose to help keep it for the ones who have it.Im proud of my father because he is a veteran and i think that since he was maybe i was suppose too.Its one purpose that i can grasp on to and take advantage of when the time comes because if nothing very special hapoens after awhile its really all i have...

Ya im a virgin and i will try to be till i ever actually marry someone or if im actually ever in love with someone truly but the problem is i dont feel that will ever happen so o well.I respect how u try to help us padreamer but depression is very stupid i cant really control my emotions when im depressed i just feel very pathetic and sad, just hopeless.I guess its easier for girls to forget guys then for guys to forget girls or is it not?Because there is just that part of my mind that wont stop thinking bout it,like just out of no where.

YA mang life does not make sense without women but iono its stupid and it sux.Women for those good ol jocks or big old bad boys with no cars.WOMEN how do u feel special driving around with some stupid idiot like that HOW what is so fricken special.Is it because he is gonna have sex with u then up and leave you and find a new women.DOES THAT MAKE U FEEL SPECIAL?????A guy that plays women constantly BUT THE WOMEN CONSTANLY GO BACK FOR HIM.How can i forgot about women if i always feel so alone without a girlfriend.How can i forgot about women when i have a friend that make a remark such as "why dont i kick in the nuts ur not gonna use them ever anyways".How can i forget about that.HOw can i put away the fact that other men call u stupid and call u a panzy for being a virgin?They call us pathetic if we r a virgin.And wow if i have never even made out with a girl in my life or even kissed one like i have not they will put me down even more.Then what about the people whenever they ask if i ever have had any girlfriends and i say no and they ask me if im gay but im not.I look down at my body such as my arms and think nobody wants this not even me especially since the fact most women only like the tall strong muscular guys although im tall im skinny as heck and lanky.Well if my life stays the same and i join the army im gonna be fighting foir a life i dont even get and people that dont even matter to me.The people who constantly go for the mean jerks that use u women and u just keep going back.Itsa stupid point to be fighting for but maybe ill be fighting fr the "whole 5%" that r not like that.

Ya man a lot of it has to with the fact that i suffer from depression and it wont stop.I feel so bad again i hate it but iono ill prolly feel better later ya know.

Oh my goodness depression will not stop bothering me it comes back to haunt me sometimes like today feels all gloomy and lame and im thinking bout the negative.O wait?Did another friend of mine just have a girl fall into his lap i think so!Everyone around me just keeps getting girlfriends its making me go crazy everybody has one ,all my friends,except for me.I feel so left out it wont get out of my mind why wont it?Id like to ask god.The stupid haunting thought of wanting to be loved wont go away it will doom me forever i want it to go away.I want to live happy and just live life to have fun but i cant with this stupid depression.Just a few hours ago i felt as good as anything.....Now i feel extremely pathetic and sometimes wanna die still although i know im not gonna do it ill hold out.friends who have never had girlfriends get their first right in front of me without even trying why must i suffer.Girls dislike me something i should accept and shall live like that forever.All i have to do is wait for tonight when i take my happy pill and hapy thoughts flood my mind although they r not produced by something going great in my life but just a chemical imbalance being fixed.Im so pathetic im just one of those people bothered all my life and put down because imma stupid virgin male who has never even held a girls hand(what other guys would think that is pathetic).I should just go away and leave all u guys and join the army like i have been thinking about doing for the last 5 years when i turn 18.Just go in the army and live a harsh life of bloodshed in iraq cause i have a a feeling of some war or little war popping out.Maybe i should just die for the sake of people living a happy life which is one i cannot live and will probably never live.Im just gonna go lay down and feel pathetic till i fall asleep depression sucks.

You guys r great!And as for you john u need to keep going for those girls mang and keep trying!Imma keep trying and trying now sense i got some confidence and some self esteem now ill keep it going and keep trying.

here here outlaw