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thegoodgirl04

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  1. thegoodgirl04
    Anyone who shoes up buzzed on the first date! LOL personal story. Or anyone who is disrepectful of you or is not honest.
  2. thegoodgirl04
    Heehe, here's another one, about 4 months into dating we went to a halloween party where he proceeded to play beer pong (the man was 31 at the time and is a manager to some of the people at this party) so he gets wasted and then pukes in my car not once but twice on the way home! There was puke all over the place and on me! Hmmm think that's a red flag too??? Man I can't believe I put up with it!!!! Needless to say I don't have the car anymore and while he "cleaned" it up if that's what you would call it he never once offered to have it detailed! Nice!
  3. thegoodgirl04
    Thanks blender you always set me straight! I am going to print your post and post it on my refridge!!
  4. thegoodgirl04
    hey guys I think I know the answer to this one, but I wanted to get some other views, do you think it was a red flag that my ex showed up for the first date buzzed? I'm just writing down all the red flags and was laughing about this one, cause I really think it was a hug red flag, ugh I was so blind!
  5. thegoodgirl04
    Hmm that's a good point, I maybe at that stage where it's time to stop coming to ENA for a while....
  6. thegoodgirl04
    Maybe you could explain to her how you feel, honesty is the best policy as they say! Let her know that your not ready for that, but explain to her why.
  7. thegoodgirl04
    My friends think I should not care anymore, and be over it cause he was such a jerk and I was so unhappy. I wish I couldn't care any more!
  8. thegoodgirl04
    If this is the right thing to do why and I obsessing over the message that he left and what he said, ahh this is so frustrating! Why can't I get over it!! Then I have a dream about his ex and him and she's telling me how great she is compared to me and why he went back to her. I feel like we broke up all over again! I told my friend about the phone call and what I thought about it and he said I was reading too much into it.
  9. thegoodgirl04
    so I go to nyc with my roomate to have fun and when we coming back home my phone rings, who is it? you guessed it the dreaded ex, so I don't answer it so he leaves a message telling me that he has gave away the fish so I can come up to pick up the tank anytime and that he hopes I'm doing well and he'll talk to me soon (not!). Put me back to square one for a few minutes, but why would he call on a Saturday night? I know if it was me I would never call on a weekend night, even if I was just sitting around. My plan is to continue no contact and have one of my friends email him and go and get the tank. Advice anyone?
  10. thegoodgirl04
    I was just in that kind of situation, but my ex wouldn't tell me about seeing or talking to his ex, I would find out about it later and confront him. I don't know what your situation is, but let me tell you from experience it's not worth it to put up with, he is seeing you, so why does he feel he needs to talk to his ex still? But know, it's not about you, it's about him so don't take it personally.
  11. thegoodgirl04
    It was a mutual break up but I was wanting to break it off for a while, and I think he felt the same too. At the end I really resented him.
  12. thegoodgirl04
    Thanks everyone, it's good to know that there are others out there who feel the same weekends are hard for some reason, like tonight I am crying and I get pissed because I miss him and I know we'll never be together again and I know how silly this is because it just wasn't meant to be, I'm just lonley I guess.
  13. thegoodgirl04
    So i know this is a silly question, but do you guys think it's normal to be confused about the break up about 6 weeks after? I have to say I feel much better, but although I know my ex was a jerk and did crappy things, I still miss him and wonder if I'll ever find someone with the good (not the bad) qualities he had. Is this normal?
  14. thegoodgirl04
    In the past I have dated about 2 guys at a time, I just don't get that emotionally attached to them, and NO sex!! It's just for fun and the way I see it, a really good way to get to know someone. I have jumped into relationships before and have always been disapointed in the past because I didn't get to know the person first, then by the end of the realtionship, I feel like I was blind sided because the person feels like a stranger to me. I know how you feel though, I am dating again and it is scary, but there are also a lot of great guys out there whether the relationship turns to friendship or more, I think it's worth it to date around and become friends first. Again no sex though until both parties are ready for that step!
  15. thegoodgirl04
    I just hope I can make the right decisions this time and not make another mistake, it would be much easier just to stay how I am and not take what I have learned from past experiences. But I want to choose the high road this time. It's almost like the one guy who is really taking his time and getting to know me is just what I need right now, but I will definaltly not put all of my eggs in one basket, the world is my oyster!! lol!
  16. thegoodgirl04
    Hi kell, Oh I am taking it very slow, we are just hanging out as friends right now, which is fine with me. I actually have another date with someone tomorrow night, but believe me I am not ready to jump into anything. I am happy just having fun right now! I know I am not yet over my ex (but getting there slowly). I am trying to figure out my deal and just be happy being single, which is nice for a change. I started to look back at all my relationships and noticed a pattern that I didn't like. I would jump into things too soon before I got to know the person, then it was almost like it was too late cause I was head long into the relationship. I am trying to figure out who I am for he first time, and I like who I am!
  17. thegoodgirl04
    So I went on another date last night and the guy doesn't even try to kiss me goodbye or anything, which is fine, then I get and email saying, Just FYI I (the guy I went on a date with) like to take my time getting to know someone before dating I hope it's OK that we are friends first. Well I can't tell you how happy I was to hear that, no pressure! Especially since it's only been about 6 weeks post break up. Anyway, why do I still feel a pang of feelings for my ex after he was such a jerk, it makes me angry. I still get upset when I'm driving sometimes, and at night when I'm in bed. I guess if he really did love me he wouldn't have done those things to hurt me. I am getting used to being a single girl again, I wish I would have done it sooner. Don't get me wrong the first couple of weeks were awful, but when I look back on it I wonder why I was so upset, I think it was a lot to do with my ego. I just hope I can let someone in again and trust, it's a very hard thing for me to do, I have a huge wall up. It will take a lot of work on my part and whomever I date next to tear it down, but I have been going to therapy to work on it. I feel like my ex and our relationship was just a dream and it never happened, like it happened to someone else. I just worry about the day when I run into or see him again (we live in the same town about 4 blocks from each other and I haven't seen him since the break up) how I will react, hopefully not like a kook!
  18. thegoodgirl04
    Thanks for you words of wisdome robo, they mean a lot right now!
  19. thegoodgirl04
    Oh no, I totally feel for you, we broke up the week I had two papers due! You can do it!! Keep your chin up and don't let the situation get to you!
  20. thegoodgirl04
    Ok, i'm losing steam with my vents which I guess is a very good sign, because I am starting to not care. There is this little part of me that is still holding on and I guess it's because there is some other girl involved (even if there is really no competition and she is just the "go to girl" which I will never be) cause if not I wouldn't care that much. I went on a friendly date (I say friendly date because I think me and this guy are just going to be friends who do fun things together) we went to his rock climbing gym and I must say I did well, better than I thought, did some bouldering too which was fun. We went out to eat with some of his friends and they were nice then he asked me to go mountain biking some time this week, which will be fun because I usually go by myself or I used to go with the ex and he would just make me feel so bad I didn't want to go with him. When do I stop feeling angry at him though and stop wondering "if only" it gets less and less everyday, but I can't believe we don't talk anymore, it's for the best I know but to not talk to someone you cared about ever again hurts, I wish we would have just stayed friends. He's not that great and never was, all of my friends wondered what I was doing with him and could tell I was not happy, even my friends at work say how much happier I seem since we've broken up. It's just hard to let go still, although I can say I am almost 1000000000000 times better than I was this time last month, I was truly a basket case, who could hardly get her self going. There was one day I let my self sit around and do nothing, it was the longest day of my life, just sitting there tourturing myself, my advice to anyone who is just going through a break up, don't do what I did, KEEP ACTIVE no matter what! It's funny how we forget from break up to break up, huh? I have a little book that I wrote down some rules for myself so I don't forget next time, then I put it in a safe place so *if I ever go through a break up again, I'll have my rules! OK I think that's enough for now, thanks for reading for those patient enough to read my rambling! lol
  21. thegoodgirl04
    That's great you are realizing and moving on No one should make you feel like you can't hang out with your friends.
  22. thegoodgirl04
    Coming soon...
  23. thegoodgirl04
    he slept with his ex two weeks after we broke up, I asked him if he was getting back with his ex and he said no, he didn't have any feelings for her and only used her for a hole, in my opinion he is running from something, I know guys are different, but we just got out of a serious relationship that lasted almost two years.
  24. thegoodgirl04
    I love this site, where else can I go and say exactly what I'm thinking Anyway, what if he really did like his ex the whole time (but why would he be on match and have dated about 5 others since her) I guess I think this because I am a different person who would not use someone just to make them feel better like he did. I'll admit it, even though he was not there for me even though he lied to me and who else knows what. I still have feelings for him and I miss him. This is OK because I'll get over it. While he just pushes his feelings way deep inside only to surface later. I know he will call (I predict next month) to either check up on me, say he's sorry, or want to get back together. All of which will get no response from me, cause even though I miss him I wouldn't get back together with some one so emotionally vacant and cold. I am a vivacious person who likes to treat her sig other with affection and tell them how much I care about them. I can't be with someone who can't show the same for me. I am happy that I am getting this time alone, because frankly I was going crazy with him. I was starting to become sexually frustrated (which is out of the ordianry for me) and I was also starting to think of other men wondering if they were single or that they were cute (which is also out of the ordinary for me because if I am happy in a relationship I don't think these thoughts). What have I learned from all of this, I don't really know yet I guess that you can't force it even if you have a lot in common and it seems that it should work, sometimes it doesnt. Although there were a lot of other negitive factors (the lying and possible cheating) that contributed to my pushing him away. i am still confused, as is he this is why we stay away and don't talk to each other so there is not a chance on getting back together and have him hurt me.
  25. thegoodgirl04
    well if you really feel you are ready for it, it should be a good experience. In my experience when I have slept with someone and I wasn't over my ex it caused me more pain.
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