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Thread: An update on my saga

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Why not address your "poor mental health"?

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Jas76
    That's not exactly what I wanted to hear.
    It's probably what you need to hear, though.

    You're not handling this situation effectively or maturely. Your approach isn't working.

  3. #23
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jas76
    I'm still not convinced blocking her and just ignoring her forever is the way to go.
    So what IS the way to go? You also keep contradicting yourself. You say, "I'm not sure the whole situation is healthy. her behaviour is driving me absolutely bonkers, and is really putting me off relationships altogether. I find it alarming and disturbing, .... all the drama" etc etc. You keep pointing out how bad she is, how she drives you nuts, and on and on and on, yet YOU keep persisting in staying in the situation and no matter what anyone says, you find excuse after excuse as to why you won't let it go and simply end things and move on. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever WHY YOU keep hanging around after all the "drama" she seems to create in your life. This saga of yours is entirely your own doing. The problem lies with YOU, not her.

    I agree with Wiseman .... use this time to get help for your own mental issues.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member boltnrun's Avatar
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    What do you mean when you say you're "trying" not to have a sexual relationship with her?? You either have sex or you don't, there is no "try".

    I presume you mean you ARE having sex with her.

    From what you're saying you are choosing to string this woman along, presumably because you enjoy it. Perhaps you like the idea of having a woman be so into you. It's flattering to your ego.

    So don't be surprised by her behavior when you're encouraging it.

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  6. #25
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    The problem about not mitigating problem people like this is you start getting mixed up in their issues on top of your own personal issues. You already knew she was inappropriate, creepy and imbalanced. From what I'm reading you're suggesting or wanting to be her "friend". How does this work knowing the above?

  7. #26
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    If you care about her you care enough to tell her it's not healthy to keep in contact as friends. You can offer now to give her the name of a good therapist or other mental health resources because that will show you care about her health. If she wants your input pass along the information and make your exit.

  8. #27
    Platinum Member DancingFool's Avatar
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    Eh....the words humble brag come to mind here. I rather think that the OP isn't looking for advice and certainly isn't looking to do what's right. I suspect he is trying to show off how big, important, and desirable he is that this woman is practically stalking him.

    If he had an ounce of kindness, he wouldn't act like this, let alone post about it. "Gee I'm just not convinced that kindness is right" shows a certain lack of empathy for others on the OP's part.

  9. #28
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    I second this DancingFool. If he wanted too, he would have blocked her already.

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by MissCanuck
    It's probably what you need to hear, though.

    You're not handling this situation effectively or maturely. Your approach isn't working.
    That's a matter of opinion. Things are certainly less dramatic than they were, and there are times I am quite happy with the state of affairs. I think you may be 'splitting' there, as things aren't always that black and white.

    This poor woman is extremely lonely and isolated. It will really damage her if I just cut all ties.

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by Capricorn3
    So what IS the way to go? You also keep contradicting yourself. You say, "I'm not sure the whole situation is healthy. her behaviour is driving me absolutely bonkers, and is really putting me off relationships altogether. I find it alarming and disturbing, .... all the drama" etc etc. You keep pointing out how bad she is, how she drives you nuts, and on and on and on, yet YOU keep persisting in staying in the situation and no matter what anyone says, you find excuse after excuse as to why you won't let it go and simply end things and move on. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever WHY YOU keep hanging around after all the "drama" she seems to create in your life. This saga of yours is entirely your own doing. The problem lies with YOU, not her.

    I agree with Wiseman .... use this time to get help for your own mental issues.
    Talk about a roasting...

    As alluded to above, things aren't always that simple, and black and white. You have overlooked all her positive qualities etc.

    I don't know what Wiseman ha said because he is on my ignore list.

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