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Everything posted by Jas76

  1. I'm taking a step out of this forum for a while. I'm finding there are too many people passing judgment, acting in a hostile and unpleasant manner. Thanks for all the input. Take care, everyone.
  2. I agree with the first sentence. I am very confused as how to handle her, or what to do at times. I don't have a 'hero narrative', and that kind of remark is very judgmental.
  3. Hi WaywardKiwi, The only way a person can be legally sectioned in the UK is by complying with the sectioning provisions of the Mental Health Act 1983. There is quiet a procedure involved, and a psychiatrist needs to offer an opinion. Often people don't announce their plans for self-harm, and things are even more precarious now due to COVID-19. I really wish she would get some care and treatment for her impulsive and erratic behaviour, as it is profoundly disturbing. I don't think she will, though, as I think she believes if anyone doesn't approve of her behaviour then that is their probl
  4. Thanks for the input. I think you're in danger of trying to do a bit of mind reading there though.
  5. I don't think she is fully capable of dealing with her issues. She needs mental health treatment, but she's definitely not getting it. Yes, I'm making a choice out of compassion, and because she has some good qualities. If one looks for perfect, one is going to look forever. Her unreasonable behaviour usually carries a consequence. In this case, she lost money, had to make a 4 hour round trip and probably had an unpleasant birthday. I've also told her how I feel about her tantrums, and I'm sure she has worked out that I ended the romantic side of the relationship because of it. At least
  6. Possibly, but I'm not avoiding my problems. I am engaging fully with my therapist.
  7. I don't think it is appropriate to try and frame all this like it is a massage of my ego or an ego trip. It's a case of compassion and emotional entanglement. Yes, she was surviving, but the quality of her life was very poor. People need human contact and understanding. It also might be the final straw, so to speak, for her if I completely abandon her.
  8. I think that my drive her to suicide, so I've tried to be as gentle with her as I can. She has already said that if it wasn't for me she would end her days (she used those words). She doesn't have any other friends nor family members that she is in touch with. She has fallen out with her mother and two sisters.
  9. Yes, that's why I said I would rather keep things platonic. I think it is compassion and acceptance. The world would be a better place with more of that.
  10. Nope, you presume wrong. There is definitely no sexual activity, and her even mentioning it makes me feel uncomfortable. I don't accept the 2nd last sentence, but thank you for the input. Her behaviour is not normal, as she can't blame me for that. She clearly has mental health problems that relate to a time long before she met me.
  11. Talk about a roasting... As alluded to above, things aren't always that simple, and black and white. You have overlooked all her positive qualities etc. I don't know what Wiseman ha said because he is on my ignore list.
  12. That's a matter of opinion. Things are certainly less dramatic than they were, and there are times I am quite happy with the state of affairs. I think you may be 'splitting' there, as things aren't always that black and white. This poor woman is extremely lonely and isolated. It will really damage her if I just cut all ties.
  13. I'm still not convinced blocking her and just ignoring her forever is the way to go.
  14. That's not exactly what I wanted to hear.
  15. It shouldn't be my issue, but I really don't like hurting people, especially people I care about. I am trying to avoid anything sexual with her at all costs, especially after all the drama that ensued (she is still showing absolutely no remorse). I suppose I have one foot in the relationship and one foot out. I'm not sure the whole situation is healthy.
  16. Okay, I'll give that some thought.
  17. That could be true, but I'm worried that may be a generalisation.
  18. Definitely not. I find it alarming and disturbing, as per my previous posts.
  19. I see. Yes, this is a very tricky situation. I really care about her, and don't want to cause her immense heartache. There is also a likelihood, albeit in my opinion, that she will never find a successful relationship, or any relationship again, especially when one considers her maladaptive behaviour and her age. On the flip side, her behaviour is driving me absolutely bonkers, and is really putting me off relationships altogether.
  20. I hear you, but people can remain friends can't they? Just because you don't want a romantic relationship doesn't mean you necessarily want the person out of your life or that you don't/can't care about them.
  21. I wasn't being dishonest, as those were the issues that were causing difficulties that morning. I tried to let her down as gently as I could, and I still do care about her, and I know how sensitive and emotional she is. I am a bit worried that she is getting a bit carried away, though, as you suggest.
  22. Hi all, This is an update on what has happened to the relationship discussed here: https://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=565191& I have maintained my decision not to have any sexual contact or activity with the lady in question. I also told her that I'm not ready for a serious relationship due to my poor mental health, and the fact that I just can't handle the lows and struggles that a serious relationship brings. I told her that we can continue to love each other (as friends). She cried profusely, and I felt absolutely terrible even though I think it was probably the r
  23. There's no need to be flippant.
  24. Indeed, all that is very sad but true. Yep, I try and discuss things with her and she becomes very hostile, confrontational, vindictive and overemotional, hence the reason that I was always reluctant to discuss all this in person, and try approach things from a safe distance. As I have alluded to previously, she also doesn't need a face-to-face discussion to realise that her relentless rage and abuse that one night was profoundly wrong. If someone can't see that that kind of abuse is wrong, especially when given months to reflect and repeatedly prompted to do so, then I can safely say that
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