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Thread: Opposites attract? Dating sex advice needed

  1. #1
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    Opposites attract? Dating sex advice needed

    I don't have a dating life. I get asked out a lot in real life but it's easier to say no than to maybe lead someone on. I have been talking to a guy on and off for 3+ monthes. He's an engineer. I dont know what kind. I know that he isn't an audio engineer, i think he works with building the 911 dispatch grid or solar panels. Im not sure but he mentioned something to that effect. Mostly because I focus on school and a ton of side projects, such as innovation, music, websites, and building my first app with Swift. Boring details. Anyways, we have nothing in common. And I mean i feel like hes from a foreign land even though he lives 25 minutes away. Ive sent him pictures of a couple things and he didnt recognize the people (major celebrities) or the pictures (flight control unit of a puddle hopper for example). Also i showed his picture(just his face) to my friend and she laughed and said "what are u going to do to that poor guy? leave him alone" and that bothered me. I pressed her hard and she finally said "it looks like he would pay you" and my coworkers agreed. I was pretty embarrased. So i asked him if he pays for sex and if he was ever a john and he said no. While i like him because hes honest and forthright and i think hes attractive and i think he has a pure soul, and hes smart.
    But im close to just saying forget it and blocking him. I dont know what to do. Heres why
    1. He calls me annoying
    2. Im afraid i wont be able to do everything as hes very experienced with women
    3. He blocks me or doesnt reply when hes mad at me
    4. Not having anything in common
    5. Hes divorced
    6. I think he might be broke from the divorce. Not a deal breaker but I work really hard and i dont really spend any money. I have investments and im not sure if he will understand why i dont spend very much money.
    7. We have nothing in common. Nothing to talk about at all.
    8. He probably expects me to be a great lover the first time we are together.
    9. My style, lingo, might scare him off i'm in the music industry. He might not understand anything. He didn't even know what a grill is, which i wear 24/7) (A bejewelled METAL mouth piece like gold teeth)

    Do opposites attract?
    Thanks for any advice
    Cyco eva blankenship Getting Ready for a First Date

  2. #2
    Gold Member Skeptic76's Avatar
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    Do what you want. Date him or donít date him but do what YOU want, not bow down to peer pressure. You wear a grill but you let your friends pick who you can and canít see? Nah.

    If you go out with him and youíre not feeling it then hey, at least you can say you have an open mind and you arenít afraid to try new things.

    If you donít go out with him, well he wasnít your type and at least you can say youíre decisive.

    If you gon out with him and you click then you have a new romantic partner and thatís always a fun thing to explore.

    Best wishes!

  3. #3
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    Sounds like you already know heís not right for you.

    I would just block him to spare any more headache over him. He sounds very immature to block you when heís angry and call you annoying.

  4. #4
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    Just wondering, why have you been talking to someone for three months and he's only 25 minutes away, yet you haven't met? I mean of course if it's just not clicking with this guy, that's fine. But it sounds like you're kind of judging him a lot and you've never even met him. How can you know what that person is truly like if you're only talking online? I never reject anyone unless they did something actually bad and unless I meet them in real life first.

    The fact that he calls you annoying is not good. In what context has he called you annoying? It's rude unless it was actually warranted.

    But may I be honest though...To me you come across as judgemental and like you're really picking this guy apart. So what if he didn't recognise some celebrities. That doesn't make him dumb or unwordly. Some people just aren't really that much into celebrity gossip, lots of TV programmes, movies, etc. Some people have other interests. If you're into celebrities that's fine. But you can't really judge others if they're not. It's a personal choice.

    Also sorry but how can you just look at someone's face and decide they pay for prostitutes? That doesn't even make any sense! You literally can't tell anything about a person just by looking at their face photo. Except maybe if they're attractive and look nice. Your friend and colleagues sound presumptuous and judgemental. How rude that you asked him if he pays for escorts. I wouldn't bother with you if someone asked me that without any good reason.

    You say you have no dating life. Are you actually interested in dating? If you are then I would examine WHY you have no dating life. People aren't perfect. They won't like every single thing you like and think every single thing you think. If you have nothing in common with someone, no problem. But you sound a bit up yourself and like you think you're better than this guy just because he doesn't like your interests or know celebrities. Sounds petty to me.

    You just assume things. He would expect you to be really experienced in bed? How do you know this? Don't just assume and make up things about people that you don't know. Especially negative things. Just because someone's experienced sexually doesn't mean they expect their partner to be like total Casanova in bed.

    Also I don't know some things you were talking about, like drill and hopper or whatever. You can't just expect that people know everything you know. Do you know every single thing? You probably don't.

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  6. #5
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    You seem to have a lot to say about a man you've never met. Why not take that knife out of his back, and look for someone who meets your standards.

    So i asked him if he pays for sex and if he was ever a john and he said no.
    ^
    Wow! Hopefully he removes himself from this line of fire.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    At least 3 times you said you dont even like him! Doesnt that tell you the answer? Just block and delete and move on.

  8. #7
    Platinum Member Cherylyn's Avatar
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    No, opposites don't attract. To the contrary, when you have a lot in common with another person while focusing on high quality character and a pleasant personality, that's where the attraction is.

    Also, he calls you annoying, he's broke, blocks you, you two have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. How dull. It's time to move on to a better, more compatible man.

  9. #8
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    If it was just nothing in common Iíd say meet if youíre curiosity is piqued, sometimes chemistry in person is there regardless (though mostly it isnt).

    But reasons 1, 2 and 3 are all deal breakers in my opinion (two
    Are him showing you he doesnít respect you and or doesnít handle conflict well and 2 is some introspection required within yourself to get to a less insecure place, like, a person who is genuinely attracted to you and intimacy is an expression of that attraction is not going to care if you lack experience, theyíll be excited to explore with you)

  10. #9
    Gold Member Spawn's Avatar
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    you need patience and let go of the choices that your gut tells you have some real issues about them.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Do you want him to" pay for sex"?

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