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Thread: Asian girlfriend pregnant

  1. #21
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Ok there you have it. Her traditions are so restrictive, this was her only option to be with you. You are both in for an uphill climb, unless she is willing to be a bit more independent. How does your family view all this?
    Originally Posted by 2cool4skl
    now this has happened she is backed into a corner by their ways saying this is the only way they would accept this due to shame in their community

  2. #22
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    A few stories, my entire life, my mom only want me to marry a Chinese guy. And told me how different colored eyes would be weird. Now, I'm married to a big white guy for over 8 years with bi-racial kids with one with green eyes, and my folks are overjoyed.

    I think you need to go meet them, introduce yourself, and show them how much you love her. Before that though, have her go over customs that you must show! When you go over, either take them all out to dinner (siblings included), or bring them gifts like oranges, chocolates, etc.

    My buddy dated this one guy for years, and never told her parents. In fact she made up a roommate that lived with her. And the guy was her friend. One day her "roommate" moved out, and the guy moved in as a roommate. All the while the parents meeting the guy for many things, and came to really like him. Then one day, she said they started dating, and the parents were very happy. They are married with kids.

    One of my mom's friend's daughter married a black guy, and they family hated this!!! The mom gets super sick one day, and the husband took care of her. Now, she loves, loves, loves, her son-in-law.

    My point to my stories, in Chinese culture, you don't want to bring shame or disappoint your parents...but love is love. Parents ultimately want their kids happy, and happily MARRIED. So it may be scary for her, but the truth will set her free, and the parents will come around. If you two have a boy, they will be thrilled.

    Good luck!!

  3. #23
    Platinum Member itsallgrand's Avatar
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    The issue isn't her culture though. The issue is you chose someone who would keep you a dirty secret.

    I'm genuinely curious why you would settle for that.

  4. #24
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    So she's scheduled for a traditional Indian arranged marriage and this is her desperate way to escape that? Clearly although you were engaged, you did not plan this jointly?
    Originally Posted by 2cool4skl
    I'm white British and she's British Asian. We have recently found out she's pregnant before marriage obviously this is a big thing in Asian culture.

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  6. #25
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    Thanks for the advise

  7. #26
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 2cool4skl
    No she wasn't but I know that her parents would want her to settle with a asian man.
    Question: Why did you stay with someone that you knew would never commit to you? How did she become pregnant? Not asking about the mechanics of it. :) Was she on birth control?


    More info regarding your relationship in general is needed. Were you a steady couple who saw each other often or was this an off and on meet up where you had sex? Is she in school? How did you two meet?

  8. #27
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    No she's 37 and wasn't just sex. We met because we are in same area this isint a casual thing from my point of view to was serious

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by 2cool4skl
    No she's 37 and wasn't just sex. We met because we are in same area this isint a casual thing from my point of view to was serious
    She is 37??? And as a 35 year old unmarried , no kids , couldnít tell her parents about her relationship??!
    Oh geez this post has gone to another level!!

    She got pregnant intentionally I am guessing???

    What was your birth control? She was on the pill right??

    Hmmm Iím also wondering what story she will tell her parents. Does she plan on including you in her life apart from child support???

  10. #29
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    She was taking the pill but obviously it didn't work we have always been careful. I'd say we have a strong relationship. The issues are down to indain culture and belief of her family

  11. #30
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    Originally Posted by 2cool4skl
    She was taking the pill but obviously it didn't work we have always been careful. I'd say we have a strong relationship. The issues are down to indain culture and belief of her family
    if she were 21, i would say "i hear you", but she is a grown woman getting into the years where she should think about having kids in the next few years or not have them -- gee -- I would be over the moon about having a baby.

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