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Thread: Haven't heard from her in almost a week, think I accidentally creeped her out...

  1. #11
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    Just wanna clarify that we made plans to go out about a week after we started talking, not 3 weeks. Believe me, I prefer to go out sooner than later but not everyone is into that. If it drags like this one is, I'm cool with leaving it be but sometimes the other person is newer to online dating or just prefers to talk a little longer. If I like them and the conversation is good then I'm not gonna dismiss them right away.

  2. #12
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    Not everyone pays attention to who viewed their profile!

    ďI messaged her one last time on the Hinge app, because I knew she would get the message, not sure if she already blocked me on her phoneĒ

    When you progress from messaging on a dating app to an exchanged phone number, you donít go back to messaging on the dating app. Thatís an unwritten rule.

    You work in the same medical field so why would you message her from a medical point of view undermining her knowledge rather than simply offering a condolence?

    I wouldnít reply to you if I was her.
    You say you arenít big on social media but you are.
    You are a lurker.

  3. #13
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    Maybe I'll just stick to Facebook for checking to see if people are who they say they are or maybe just drop that whole idea altogether because it's such a dubious prospect to want to be a little safer. I understand that I'm not big into social media myself and that causes the catch 22, I feel like I need to check on people but they can't check on me in the same manner. Not really sure what my alternative is other than not checking at all.

    Was almost mugged a few years back because I didn't do any kind of research before meeting a girl. Ended up being 2 guys and a random girl when I showed up, who threatened to hurt me and damage my car if I didn't give them my wallet and everything valuable in my vehicle (obviously a mistake not meeting in a fully public place as well). After that, I met my girlfriend at the time and we were together up until a few months ago. Then, like I originally posted, started dating again about a month and a half ago. So the fact that this kind of stuff can happen in very rare cases causes me to worry a little more than I'd like too.

  4. #14
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    Itís an unfair double standard to expect your potential dates to be searchable and viewable and you yourself not also be

    Iím sorry you had a scary experience, and itís ok to ďFacebook stalkĒ before a date, but I donít think thatís the root problem here anyway b

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  6. #15
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    I actually don't think you did anything wrong, and even if you did, it was probably quite minor. I think maybe it did sound like you were downplaying it and undermining it by saying "at least it was only a mini stroke". When something traumatic happens, people want to feel validated. But your overall message was very nice. I think it's probably OK to stalk someone's social media, absolutely you wouldn't want to get catfished! I've been catfished a couple of times and it's definitely not fun. I do suggest though if you're going to social media stalk, to do it in secret. Just look at Facebook and Instagram photos, don't look at the stories. To be honest though I think you weren't really a priority for this girl to begin with because she kept cancelling on you. And now that something awful happened to her grandma, I think she's not really thinking about you at all because she's never even met you.
    Last edited by Tinydance; 05-12-2019 at 11:44 AM.

  7. #16

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    She just not in to you, i think. About you checking on their social media, it is something most of ppl doing, so you are okay with it. You just to be honest by telling them you did so 😂....

    Good you move on and talk to others already but seems your heart still wondering about that girl. Well, just ask her right away. That is the easy way.

  8. #17
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    Wanna thank everybody for posting their thoughts, the positive and the negative. I did send her one last message yesterday after work, had a slow day and was thinking about it quite a bit. She hasn't said anything yet and I don't expect to hear anything but I wanted to reach out anyway. Offered to meet her so we can actually talk in person but if she isn't interested, she isn't interested. Still can't shake the feeling that I screwed up a potentially great thing, c'est la vie, I guess.

  9. #18
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    Your msg to her was long, tedious and belittling.

    Next time don't say "at least it was ... When someone tells you someone love has a health problem. All you should have said was "that sounds awful, take care of yourself. Let's play things by ear" That's enough.

    The message even afterwards with you saying how you guys can absolutely reschedule etc how she should rest and all that stuff is so unnecessary and a turn off. I get messages like that from guys and I don't like it. She's a stranger so keep it short and simple.

  10. #19
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    Originally Posted by Honeycomb8
    Your msg to her was long, tedious and belittling.

    Next time don't say "at least it was ... When someone tells you someone love has a health problem. All you should have said was "that sounds awful, take care of yourself. Let's play things by ear" That's enough.

    The message even afterwards with you saying how you guys can absolutely reschedule etc how she should rest and all that stuff is so unnecessary and a turn off. I get messages like that from guys and I don't like it. She's a stranger so keep it short and simple.
    All of the messages we were sending back and forth were longer. We messaged 3-4 times a day because we were fairly busy, but to make up for that our messages were fairly lengthy.

    I get that I screwed up how I worded my reply and came off as pretty insensitive, trust me. I'm letting her know I can reschedule because she asked me if we can reschedule and she apologized about not being able to go out on that day. I also mentioned the getting rest part because she messaged me at 3am to tell me that. I messaged when I woke up to say that I hoped she was able to get some rest after her busy and obviously emotional day.

    Here's the exact message to get my point across:

    "Ugghhhh, you must think I'm the worlds worst person..

    My nana had a mini stroke this evening so I've been with my mom and nana all night in ER .. and my mom and I just left. I called into work tomorrow ..

    But do you think there is any way to reschedule? I'm so so so sorry, I wasn't chatty today, with forgetting my phone and this happening it's just been super hectic."

    Many times her messages were longer than mine, everybody talks in different ways, just because one person prefers short and sweet doesn't mean everyone does, at least not all the time. I gauge my talking based on what the person is comfortable with and that's how we were talking.

  11. #20
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    Dude, here's the thing.

    When a chick is into you, truly into you, in her eyes, you can do no wrong.

    Everything you say and do will seem endearing to her; I once had a guy I was very into send me a text revealing his insecurity and needing a bit of reassurance, and while typically that would turn me off, because I was just so into him, I thought it was endearing!

    His vulnerability caused me to like him more!!

    So stop analyzing your message, it was fine!! It wasn't "too long" you didn't "screw your wording up" or anything else. Or even if you did, if she were into you, it would not have mattered.

    Asking her to reschedule was fine too, and again had she been into you, she'd be jumping all over that!

    So seriously just stop all this over-thinking over your text messages!

    If she's not replying back then she's just not into you and never was, at least not in the way you thought she was.
    Last edited by katrina1980; 05-13-2019 at 02:30 PM.

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